3. Chapter Three
Chapter Three
Laynie
“Have you tried calling him yet?”
I stare at my cousin across the small wooden table, the plate of half-eaten eggs and sausage in front of me growing colder by the second.
I’m not really in the mood to eat, but I also don’t want to be rude since Sadie stopped in at the store on her way into town last night.
Somehow she knew I would be out of food.
Possibly because my parents are away, or because I broke down on the phone and could barely speak. It was most likely a mix of the two.
Resting my chin on my hands, I study her long golden hair falling to her waist, and the petiteness of Sadie’s figure covered in a pastel pink tank top and shorts.
Since I can remember, Sadie has always worn baby pink, and as a dancer, it suits her like tea goes with milk.
She’s always been leaner, a little doe-eyed too, like Bambi.
Innocent, sweet, and charming to every guy she meets, which is how she’s had so many interested in her over the years.
My foot taps nervously against the timber floor as I think. I should have texted Scott the moment Sadie sent me his number before she left last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for a multitude of reasons.
One of those big reasons being Grayson. It’s also so daunting that my anxiety has gone through the roof. Will Scott be mad? Supportive? Distant? Willing to move here to be with the baby and me? My mind is reeling out of control just thinking of how he might react.
Tapping my phone screen awake, his text waits for me to respond, making my eyebrows twitch.
BLONDIE: You feeling better this morning?
I really hate lying to him. He’s been my best friend for so long, and I’m terrified of what this secret might do to us if he finds out. I don’t want to ruin what we have.
Grayson always worries about me, as friends do…
but that’s all we are. Friends. Especially now.
That small percentage of anything else happening between us seems to have died after I saw those two little lines on that test. Even if I still want to be with him, I can’t now.
Not with someone else’s baby growing inside of me.
The Grayson ship has well and truly sunk to the bottom of the ocean.
“Not yet,” I manage to squeeze out, my phone screen locking again. I stare at myself in the reflection before blinking away. I haven’t smiled since I woke up yesterday morning, and I don’t see myself doing so again anytime soon. Not with the anxiety crawling along my skin like fire ants.
Sadie sighs lightly before pulling out the chair opposite me with a bowl of fruit and yoghurt. She’s never been one to eat a lot, and she’s strictly vegetarian, so I’m surprised she willingly cooked me sausages.
“You know you will need to eventually,” she starts, digging into her breakfast. “Realistically, it should be before your child is born. That would be an even more awkward bomb to drop if you rocked up with a baby in your hands.” I watch as her spoon dances through the air and she raises her tone to mimic me, “Hi, I’m Laynie.
You don’t remember me from nine months ago, but I’m here, and I have your baby with me. Say hi, Dada.”
Sadie’s attempt to humour me just makes my chest hurt.
I groan, shutting my eyes slowly as a pressure builds in the side of my head that I would very much like to sleep away right now, and I would if I didn’t need to get to the cafe to open up.
“Firstly, never do that impersonation again,”
Her cheeks flush. “It was the voice, wasn’t it?”
“It didn’t help,” I admit softly, looking back at my food. “I know I’ll have to tell him, Didi. I just need a moment to think about all of this though. And it’s a lot of pressure to put on someone, especially if they’re not expecting the news.”
Sadie winces lightly. “But you shouldn’t have to go through all of this alone,” she reminds me in her dainty voice that matches the rest of her whimsical essence.
I sniff softly, reaching over to take her leaner hand with painted baby pink nails. “I have you now.”
That makes her snort. “I’m not manly enough to be the dad.”
My eyes roll slowly. “I didn’t say you needed to be the dad.”
Her head tilts. “But your baby needs her dad.”
I stare at her for a long moment, my pulse thumping aggressively in my throat like tiny hammers trying to break through my veins. “We don’t know if it’s a girl yet.”
Sadie shrugs effortlessly. “In my mind, she is, and I get to teach her ballet and dress her in a little tutu.” Her pale lips lift enthusiastically.
The corner of my mouth twitches before the sinking feeling overwhelms me once again. I lean back in my wooden chair. My arms cross over my chest, tightening against the uneasy feeling growing in my stomach.
“What are you going to do while you’re here? Which isn’t necessary, by the way. I’m fine on my own.” My voice hardens, as it usually does in situations like this. “It’s not like I haven’t been taking care of myself for the past decade…”
My cousin waves a hand between us, silencing me.
“Of course I was going to come. You weren’t in a good place when you called me last night.
” She swallows a spoonful of fruit before continuing, “And I spoke with my dance studio. I can teach online classes for them until I find something more permanent.” I don’t miss the slight wariness in her tone.
My eyebrow quirks. “You want to stay here in Ashwood Creek?”
Sadie shrugs, so gracefully, like she moves with the breeze. “I’m not sure yet,” she admits honestly. “But I will as long as you need me around. A baby is a huge responsibility—”
“I know,” I breathe softly.
“—and with your parents away on their holiday, who else is meant to help you?”
Eyes closing again, I think about Grayson watching over me a few weeks ago when I was sick with what I told everyone was food poisoning, but I was already five weeks late at that point.
The look in Grayson’s eyes was something curious, almost as if he could see through the lie and knew that it wasn’t just a stomach flu like I said.
I, of course, didn’t tell him that I was late and there was a very high chance that I was pregnant.
The shame that weighed down my shoulders as I kept that secret inside…
As it turns out, I wasn’t just overreacting, and those tests confirmed my suspicions—as well as my period tracker.
But Grayson was there. He’s always right there when I need him, and he would be here in a heartbeat if he knew what was going on, but there’s a lot stopping me from sending that simple message.
I’m not ready for my whole world to implode, and that’s what it would feel like, because for so long now, Grayson has been my world—even if he’s unaware of the fact.
I’d move plans around to see him if he was free, I always made sure to go to Honey Haven for Sunday night dinner, and I even drove forty minutes out of my way to help him when his ute broke down and nobody else was picking up their phone.
That’s how it’s always been. We need each other, like we are each other’s source of energy, even if we’re only friends. I’d rather Grayson remain my friend than nothing at all.
I don’t think I could survive without my lifeline.
My jaw ticks as I focus on my cousin, who patiently smiles at me.
“I will stay here until the baby arrives, or Scott. If you do tell him, that is, which I think you should.” I groan inwardly, and she continues yapping like the excitable puppy she is, “Because he can help you. This baby is going to change your whole life—”
“I know that!” I snap, smacking my palms on the table.
Sadie flinches. Her metal spoon clatters against the floor as I rub my temples soothingly, wishing the pain of this headache away.
I can feel my nerves vibrating through me like tiny beads of effervescent water as my cousin watches me with her rounded chestnut eyes, framed in golden lashes coated in brown mascara.
“I know it’s a lot. I know that this baby will change everything,” I squeeze out as I suck in a ragged breath, alleviating a small amount of pressure weighing down my chest like a stone. I sob out, “And I’m terrified, Didi. This is not how I pictured myself being pregnant for the first time.”
My cousin is up a second later, rushing to throw her arms around me tightly. Her pretty, floral perfume tickles my nose as I’m wrapped up in her embrace, my pulse flooding my ears as more tears slip down my cheeks.
Seriously, how do I have more tears left to cry?
“It’ll be all right,” Sadie murmurs into my ear, but it feels like a broken promise.
I whimper, wanting to believe her so badly, but a part of me feels like this is the end of everything. That this is where my life takes a sudden swerve and veers off the highway that I’ve been steadily driving down for as long as I can remember.
The plan was to finish school, study business, and open an award-winning cafe. Then finally marry the man of my dreams and have the family of mischievous kids I’ve dreamt of forever.
When did everything go so wrong?
Oh, right, when I drank too much and took up Scott’s seemingly great opportunity that has now thrown the biggest spanner in the works.
Why did you have to fall for his smooth words, Laynie?
“I will be here for you. And Scott, once you tell him, I know he will help as well,” Sadie adds.
Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I shake my head at the overwhelming thoughts of both Scott and Grayson.
Grayson, the man I’ve loved since high school.
Then Scott, the man I hooked up with when I was vulnerable, upset, and a little too inebriated.
I don’t even know anything about Scott, besides that he’s friends with Sadie and works in something that punches numbers.
Sounds instantly boring to me, and no doubt the rest of him is as dry as my mouth feels right now.
I wipe my cheeks and announce in a grumbled tone, “I need to shower.” My chair scraps across the floor as I stand slowly.