Chapter Eleven
Laynie
“My baby!” The familiar squeal echoes down the hallway the moment the front door swings open.
Smiling, I pluck Freddie off my lap—much to his dismay—and jump off the couch, racing towards them.
Mum has her arms out as soon as our eyes lock.
Wrapping me up tightly, I nestle my face in her neck, breathing her in.
She smells of salt, shells, and cotton. It’s a fresh ocean scent that matches the slight kinks in her glossy greying blonde hair.
I can see why Dad chose to be with her.
Most of the time I think I’m nothing like them. That their lifestyle made me this orderly, self-competitive young woman. But, then again, Mum made the same mistake I did when she was only nineteen.
On the surface, we are opposite, but deep down, maybe we aren’t that different after all.
“I’ve missed you, kiddo,” she murmurs against my ear, making my grin wider to the point that my teeth are pressed against her skin.
I never want to let go of her again. They’ve been on the road for five months, and as much as I enjoy the cleanliness and structure of our home, I’ve missed their company a heck of a lot more.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” I whisper.
I feel Dad ruffle my hair, sending an ugly cough sob out of me when Mum’s arms squeeze impossibly tight.
Footsteps sound behind me, then Sadie says excitedly, “Hi, Uncle Levi and Aunt Violet.”
“Hi, Sadie.” I see Dad hug her out of the corner of my eye. “It’s been, what, ten months since we saw you last?”
She gives him a weak smile before nodding. “A bit too long, I think. But here we are.”
Mum takes that as a sign to pull away, her hands not leaving my arms as she gives Sadie a small smile. “Hi, cutie. It’s lovely seeing you again, and I promise we will catch up later tonight.” Her sapphire eyes return to mine, and I gulp. “But I need to speak with my daughter alone.”
Nodding slowly, Sadie’s smile falters. Dad gently guides her towards the front door. “Sadie, I’ll need a hand to carry everything inside.”
Sadie groans but follows him outside, nonetheless.
Mum takes my hand in hers and leads me to the living room. Freddie has curled up in his usual spot on the couch, and I lift him, placing him on my lap again. I sniff a laugh at his soft meow, but he settles right back to sleep as Mum switches on the kettle.
“Did you want some tea?”
I nod, patting Freddie slowly in an effort not to wake him, but the sensation of dragging my fingertips through his fur keeps my anxiety in check.
Grounding is such a big thing for a person who deals with anxiety, or so my therapist, Charlotte, says.
Freddie is one of those things, keeping me steady and distracting my mind.
Another is baking, running, and Grayson.
Yep. Probably not ideal to put someone in that position, but he’s been there for me more times than I can count. One hug from him, and my anxiety is held at bay.
Well, maybe not as much recently, but when you’ve clung to a friend for as long as I have, your mind and body adapt to relying on them. It’s comfortable and familiar. Exactly what I need when I’m on the brink of a panic attack.
“Did you find any new ones to try?” I ask as Mum busies herself in the kitchen.
Mum’s eyebrows pump once. “Of course we did. Your dad found a nice vanilla black tea, and I bought an energised one. It’s meant to be better than coffee.”
I shake my head. “No way. In my opinion, nothing beats coffee.”
“That’s because you now rely on it so much that you’re addicted.”
A soft snort comes through my nose. “Yeah, but it’s a healthy addiction.”
“Not when your blood runs on it,” Mum highlights, giving me a look.
“I prefer the term life juice, and that’s exactly what it does. It gives me more life.” I smile sweetly at her.
Mum snickers, pouring water into cups as I patiently wait, feeling Freddie’s purrs run through my thighs.
The moment she places the mug in my hand and settles down beside me, her whole demeanor loosens.
The tightness in her shoulders drops and the small lines around her lips blur as she stares at me.
Her hand reaches out, touching my arm. “Why don’t you tell me what happened, Laynie girl.”
So, I do.
I tell her about the spontaneous trip to Sydney I took to visit Sadie.
About the night out, sleeping with Scott when I wasn’t in my right mind, and then the morning after when I realised my mistake.
I conveniently leave out the part about feeling alone with them travelling, which was why I slept with Scott in the first place.
He was there, offering me company when it felt that nobody else was.
Well, that turned out terrifically, didn’t it.
I recount the pregnancy tests and doctor’s appointment that confirmed everything. We both shed a few tears, and when I tell her that Scott still hasn’t contacted me, I shake to the point of spilling some tea on my jumper.
“Aww, come here.” I’m wrapped up in her embrace once again, tea now resting on the coffee table. “It’ll be all right, my sweet girl.”
That makes me snort. “Do you really believe that?” Because I’m starting to lose more hope every single morning when I wake up to no notifications from him.
She’s silent for a long moment before murmuring, “Things have a way of working out. You might not understand it right now, but you will one day. And I know you, Laynie. You’re strong. You’ll get through this, just as I did.”
My mouth presses tightly as silent tears slip down my chin and neck.
“You know your father also told me that he couldn’t go through with it.”
My pulse stills. Mum doesn’t talk about my real dad all that much, but from the few breadcrumbs I’ve collected over the years, my birth dad was an absolute loser.
“He told me that in front of my friends. We were at Ashwood Afterhours, back when it was newer and smelt less of stale beer.”
“Was there a time that it smelt better?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
She pinches my ribs gently. “I was with my friends for Hazel’s twenty-first birthday, and he came racing in as if his pants were on fire, but they weren’t.
I checked.” I sniff a laugh. “He walked right up to our booth and told me he would be leaving in the morning for Newcastle. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement.”
“He left you knowing that you were pregnant,” I state in a hushed tone.
Her head nods against mine. “Tony wasn’t a great boyfriend, so I should have known when I found out that I was having you that he wouldn’t stick around.” She pauses, forcing me to look at her. “He told me to get rid of you.”
My eyebrows twitch as I straighten. Hand grabbing hers, I watch her eyes glaze over with unshed tears. My own blur with moisture.
“What did you say?” I ask.
A smirk pulls in the corner of her mouth. “I told him to get lost, and he did.”
I snort, covering my grin. Of course she did.
“So, I can’t really blame him for running. He made his choice clear, but I didn’t expect him to go so soon. I had only just found out a few days before.”
“Maybe it was a blessing?”
“It was.” She squeezes tighter. “I had you, and Hazel was there with me at the birth. Then not long after I met Levi, and the rest is history…”
Levi has been nothing but supportive and protective of me, even if he isn’t my biological father.
He chose me to be his daughter, and I can never thank him enough for that.
For giving Mum a chance with a four-month-old and living out of her van.
He loves her more than life itself, and I’m forever grateful to have him in my life.
“So, you never know,” Mum continues, drawing back my attention.
My teeth dig into my bottom lip, and immediately Grayson’s face appears in my mind. There’s something about him that I have always been drawn to. Every time I picture my future, he’s in it. I never imagined him not being by my side. But I also never anticipated this happening, either…
“You really think that all of this will be fine?” I murmur, head shaking a little.
Her hand runs through my hair like she used to do when I was younger, her grin widening as her head tilts to one side. “It all worked out for me, didn’t it? It might not necessarily go the way you think it will, but I bet that you’ll have all that you need and more once you’re a mum.”
A mum.
“Who knows,” she adds, her hand tangling in mine as I breathe softly, clinging to her. “Maybe you’ll find someone new out there.”
Or maybe someone who I've always known. “Yeah, maybe.”
She hums and taps my leg gently. “Why don’t we do something fun tonight? Take your mind off things?”
My chin lifts, gaze blurred. I shake my head. “Sadie and I are going to the ranch. The boys want to have a movie night.”
“Oh, well, tomorrow night then.” Mum kisses my temple. “You two should have fun with your friends. Your dad and I can have some fun of our own, then.”
My head sinks as she gives a devious chuckle.