Chapter Twenty-Three
Grayson
The bikes rev as we ride along the narrow dirt track.
Trees and shrubs line either side, and I’m trailing after Knox, who has gotten a lot more confident since our first ride together.
His speed matches mine, and while there’s been a few slides and scares, for the most part, he’s a really good rider.
Following him down the gradual slope, the scent of mud and foliage heavy in the chilled air, we come out to the bottom of the hill and back on the property.
The flowers that blanketed the fields only weeks ago have all dropped off, leaving it a wide expanse of green.
Thick, grey clouds cover the sky, creating a darker atmosphere as a light dusting of mist floats around us. Rain is definitely on the way.
With the pastures flanking us and the main house coming up in the distance, we ride past the grazing cows, horses, and sheep, who look up as we pass by.
Knox goes straight through a puddle, water and mud splashing up behind him and coating my pants, boots, and helmet.
I let out a short laugh, flicking some off my hand as I rev my bike, gaining more speed.
Passing Knox, I ride through an even bigger puddle, spraying him with murky water. I hear him cackle, bringing a grin to my face as we head towards the shed where the bikes are stored.
“You’re getting faster out there. I almost couldn’t catch you,” I say as we cut the engines.
“But you did,” Knox points out, handing me his helmet. “I think I got some puddle water in my eye.”
I sniff. “You’ll survive.”
“Your concern means everything to me,” he drawls.
I push him gently, laughing. Knox chuckles lightly, removing his helmet and wiping dirty water with the edge of his sleeve.
Locking up the shed, we then walk towards the main house where Aspen is outside with Dad, the two of them drawing on the porch.
No doubt Mum is taking the time to clean the house or cook up something good for family dinner tonight.
I pull my keys out of my jeans pocket and show Knox to my car.
“Thanks for dropping me off, Gray,” he says as soon as he gets in the passenger seat.
I grin and switch the car on, backing out and driving slowly to avoid the various mud puddles on the drive. “It’s nothing.”
“Well, I appreciate it, and so does Paisley. Means she doesn’t have to rush home from picking up Hallie from work just to get me before helping out Mum.”
“If it helps, then I’m happy to. Besides, it gives us some more time to chat. What got you into wanting to ride dirt bikes anyway?”
Knox sniffs a laugh. “I’ve always wanted to. I used to see my oldest brother go out with our dad when they had time. I was a lot younger then, but they always looked like they had fun, so I wanted to try it when I was old enough. He now has an actual motorcycle, but he lives in Newcastle.”
I hum knowingly as we reach the main road. “Does your dad still ride?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Knox still for a moment, his hands no longer tapping his thighs. He clears his throat. “Not sure. He left three years ago.”
My eyebrows pinch together as I slow, waiting at a crossing. “Left? What do you mean by left?” I ask, but I think I already know the answer. I just don’t want it to be true.
Knox sighs. “Dad packed his bags one Saturday morning and left. Didn’t tell Mum where he was going, he just went while we were out.
” He scratches the back of his neck as my heart pounds heavily.
“Mum pretended that she wasn’t upset, but I could see it in her eyes.
She looked sad but also relieved. Later that night I heard it, too, through the walls. ”
My stomach knots.
He just left his family one day. What is wrong with some men?
“He just walked out on you?” I ask in a hushed tone.
“Yeah, all seven of us. Left Mum to raise six kids on her own.”
My shoulders droop as I squeeze out, “Crap. I’m so sorry, man.”
He shrugs again, nonchalantly, but I can see how much this weighs him down. “I mean, yeah, it sucks, but he wasn’t the greatest dad to begin with. He and Mum used to bicker all the time, then it started getting physical. I think it was best that he left.”
“Physical, as in…”
“Yeah,” he murmurs as we come to a stop out the front of his house, “that…”
I drag a hand down my face, my chest feeling as if it’s being pressed by an invisible weight. Turning off the car, I look at Knox, whose face is so troubled it hurts to look at. “You okay?”
“Yeah, it was three years ago. I guess I should be over it by now, right?”
My mouth quirks downward as I shake my head. “You don’t need to be over it. It was a cowardly move.” Much like another coward I know.
“Maybe. I know Paisley’s still angry that he’s gone, but honestly, I’m kind of glad.” He pauses to look me in the eye, all amusement and joy gone, leaving nothing but sadness. “Do you think that makes me a horrible son?”
“No,” I answer with no hesitation, “it doesn’t. If he wasn’t a good father, and he left your mum alone with you and your siblings, I think you can be happy to some degree.”
He sighs, groaning into his hands. “Paisley doesn’t like that I wanted him to leave, but I think it’s because she spent more time with him growing up. I was eleven when he left. She was sixteen.”
“Maybe it does have something to do with her being older. But I know she also works closely with your mum.”
“Yeah. Paisley is going to help her open the bookstore here in town. They’re looking at the old wine store down by the ice cream shop.”
“That’s a good spot. Does she need help with renovating it?”
Knox nods. “She will when it’s ready. Mum’s still a bit behind with money, but once she’s approved for the loan, it’ll be go time.” He looks at me with a sad smile. “She’s always wanted to open up a bookstore of her own.”
I smile. Seeing how much Knox loves his family is endearing. It reminds me of my own family, tight knit and protective.
“Listen,” I start before he leaves the car, “we have family dinner every Sunday evening. If you ever want to come along, you’re welcome to.”
Knox grins and he holds out his hand. I clasp it, chuckling as he grabs his jacket and keys. “Thanks, Gray. Maybe next week.”
“All right, bet.”
“I’ll see you next weekend then, and thanks for today… and the talk.” He jumps out of my ute, slamming the door behind him before rushing into his house. I wait until he’s inside before driving back to the ranch, where I find Betsie parked out the front. My pulse picks up at the sight.
Laynie’s here.
Going inside the main house, I peer around and don’t see her anywhere. Odd. Macie, Reid, and Cole are talking on the couch. Aspen is with Holden and Dad playing with stuffed toys and Mum is busy in the kitchen.
Frowning, I carry my shoes through the house, dropping my keys on the bench.
Without a word, Mum tips her head towards the back door, indicating for me to head outside.
Walking out, I find Laynie standing on the porch, bundled up in her overalls and a thick jacket and scarf.
Holding a steaming mug of tea, she peers over her shoulder.
I see a shimmer of delight in her crystal eyes as I slip on my shoes and stand beside her, smiling faintly.
“You know the fire is on inside, right?” I ask, staring out at the deepening sky above. “Yet you choose to stand out here in the cold. That’s dedication.”
Laynie snorts a small laugh, and it’s like music to my ears. “I know. I just got off the phone with Charlotte and needed a moment.”
That makes me turn to face her. “What better place to be, then.”
“Exactly.” She sips on her drink.
Smiling, I want to reach out and touch her.
Stroke her cheek. Tangle my fingers through her long hair.
Hold her and kiss her. I know I’m not meant to think of her like that.
She’s my friend. My friend who I have loved for a really long time.
My friend with plump pink lips that are enticing.
I bet they taste like strawberries, just like her hair.
Clearing my throat, her eyes meet mine again, and I almost melt at how beautiful they are. Deep onyx rimmed in bright blue like crystal. They’re mesmerising.
“I’m glad you came tonight.”
“Of course I did. You think I would miss out on Hazel’s cooking?” she asks, the corners of her mouth curling.
“True, nobody can pass that up,” I drawl, inching closer. She doesn’t move away. “How are you feeling?”
Her shoulders shrug. “Actually, pretty good. I had a sleep this afternoon.” I grin.
“I feel like I’m in a good place right now, although I am starting to feel like a sardine in my own home with how cluttered it’s become.
But I can’t really complain. My parents are back.
I have my friends with me… and you.” The last word is soft and tender, it sears my heart.
“Me?” My eyebrows rise a fraction.
Laynie’s cheeks deepen to a perfect shade of pink, matching her lips that I’m trying my hardest not to stare at. “Yeah. You.” My heart thuds against my ribs violently. “I’m glad I have my best friend sticking by me.”
I feel my forehead creasing before I have time to stop it, and she definitely notices. I can make out the slant of her eyebrows as I mutter, “Right.”
I don’t know if she means for me to see her gaze drop to my mouth, but I do.
How could I not? She’s all I think about these days.
More than ever before. I think it’s my protective side, and for some reason I have always had this side of me that’s needed to look out for Laynie.
We both know her parents. While they’re great and fun, they haven’t always been the most sheltering.
Which is why I took it upon myself to protect Laynie when she was younger, and it’s stuck.
And now, with her baby growing, there’s a part of me that feels responsible for protecting it.
I might not be its dad, but I’m still going to be there for it once it’s born. If Laynie wants me there, then there’s no place I’d rather be than by her side.
“Laynie…” I start but quickly rethink my words. I can’t spill my thoughts right now. Here. In front of my family. It needs to be right. But how am I to know that she’d want to hear how much I’ve fallen for her? That I would literally do anything for her.
If she asked for me to drive with her to a whole new state for the chance of something better, I wouldn’t even bat an eye as I packed my ute.
But does she feel the same way? What if I ruin what we have by opening my big, dumb mouth? Or what if I’m not good enough to be a dad?
“Grayson,” she whispers, bringing me back to the present.
The cold evening air blows across my face, and she tightens her arms across her stomach.
“Umm…” I murmur, trying to find the right words. “Are you mad that… he didn’t want to be a part of this?”
She knows exactly who I’m referring to, because I watch the dip in her brows and the downturn of her mouth. Her throat works, and I inwardly groan.
I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m tearing open a wound that wasn’t fully healed.
Stepping back to give her a bit of breathing room, I chew on my bottom lip.
She surprises me by shaking her head. “No, I’m not mad.
I’m not even upset anymore. I guess it’s just what was meant to happen, and it’ll be fine.
” Her hand rests on her abdomen, and I can’t help but stare at her.
In all her beauty, glowing and rosy cheeked, she’s radiant, like a star burning bright against the night sky.
I’ve fallen for this shooting star.
“We’ll be fine,” I hear her murmur.
My heart jolts for a moment, and I look down at her to see her eyes on her hand.
She was speaking about the baby. Not me.
Gosh I wish it was me too.
Throat working, I put my hand on her back, and she smiles up at me, bright and wide eyed like how she looks at me every time I praise her latest baking experiments. It’s gorgeous.
“You will be,” I breathe out, my mouth curling at the sight of her. “I’ll make sure that you are.”
I will die keeping that promise.