Chapter Thirty-Three
Grayson
Idon’t know how long Laynie slept for in that chair, but she slowly wakes up when the announcement for visiting hours ends.
Macie sits in the chair beside Laynie, and Dad is on the other side of the bed where Mum continues to rest. I stand with my arms crossed over my chest listening to Reid, Cole, and Holden talk about their plans for tomorrow for coming to see Mum.
“Hey,” I hear Laynie whisper.
Macie flicks her brows, silently asking how Laynie is as I walk to her side. “You okay?”
Laynie nods, and I help her to her feet. “I need to pee.”
Biting back a smile, I nod, and she quickly walks out only to return to a half empty room. It’s just Dad and I; the others have moved out into the hallway. I have her bag slung over my shoulder, and instead of handing it over, I tangle our fingers together, leading Laynie out into the hallway.
“We’ll meet you back at the ranch?” Reid asks, holding his keys in his hand.
Laynie peers up at me, and I nod, “I’ll drive Laynie back.”
“All right. I’ll take Dad and Macie.”
Holden nods at Cole, Aspen asleep on his shoulder, and we walk out into the blistering cold air and drizzle.
Laynie nuzzles against me, and I pull her hood over her head to keep her hair dry.
Helping her into the passenger seat, I get in myself and switch on the beaten-up engine.
Betsie rattles to life, quite literally, and I peel out slowly.
Windscreen wipers moving rhythmically, rain pattering against the glass and roof, we get onto the main road leading to Ashwood Creek.
“Are you okay?” Laynie asks.
“Yeah,” I let out roughly, hand wrapping tighter on the gearstick. “I will be. Mum will be.”
She’s silent again, and when I think she won’t say anything else, fingers curl over mine over the stick. My heart flutters as my other hand holds the wheel, soft country music coming through the retro speaker.
“How was your appointment?” I ask, remembering that she was there earlier with her mum.
Laynie shifts in her seat, and my abdomen muscles tense. “Umm… it was okay.”
“Only okay?” I question, hearing the hesitation in her voice.
She clears her throat, hair falling in front of her face, shielding it from my gaze.
She explains what the midwife told her. My breath hitches, the tingling sensation of trepidation biting at my throat as I continue to drive, hand clutching the wheel tighter.
I want to reach out and pull her towards me.
Laynie sniffs.
“Biscuit…”
“I’m so scared,” she chokes out through her tears. My chest tightens painfully. “What if something is wrong?”
“It won’t be.”
She shakes her head. “You can’t say that. You don’t know.” She bawls harder, hands holding her face.
I pull over on the side of the dirt road in the emergency lane. Rain continues to drum around us, but I can hear her crying through the noise. Unclipping my belt, I pull her as much as I can into my arms, kissing her forehead as tears stream down her cheeks like rivers.
“I don’t know, okay. I have no idea, but whether something happens or it doesn’t, I promise you that I will be right here.” I kiss her forehead, the warmth flooding my mouth. “I’m not going to leave you, Laynie.”
Her cries muffle a fraction, enough for me to get my thoughts in order as I hold her in her crammed little car. The engine is off, lights cut out, as we sit in the dimness of the full moon hanging low in the sky.
Stroking her hair, Laynie’s head curls into the crook of my neck. She coughs out, “Do you remember when I went to Sydney?”
Her question brings bile to my throat. We’re going there, are we?
“Yeah, I remember when you left town.”
Sniffling again, her fingers hesitate for a beat before entwining in mine, as if she considered pulling away, putting that distance between us again, but reconsidered.
Thank goodness.
“I went because I wanted to see my cousin. She’d been struggling ever since my aunt died a year ago.” My head tips forward, recalling the funeral. “And she needed me. She’s been with her dad, helping him with his work, and she needed a break.”
“So you went,” I continue when Laynie pauses.
“I went because I was feeling lonely as well.”
That makes my frown deepen.
“Mum and Dad were gone, and they were hard to get a hold of since they were in and out of reception. You were hanging out with Sawyer a lot before he left for the season, which I understood, and he and Cole were constantly vying for your attention for gaming.” I clear my throat, slightly confused with where she’s going with this.
“I really missed having someone with me, and I know that’s incredibly selfish, but all I wanted was your attention, Grayson. ”
“My attention?” I huff out. “You always have my attention, Laynie. You have since we were in preschool.”
Her glistening eyes meet mine, and I shatter a little seeing her this torn. “I’ve liked you for a long time, Grayson. I’ve liked you since high school, but it felt like all we would be is friends.”
My hand runs down my face. “That’s why you slept with Scott?”
She nods slowly, another tear trickling over her bottom lash line. I reach out and wipe it away.
“I felt like I was never going to be good enough, that all I’d be is your friend, and I couldn’t deal with it.
My parents weren’t there to talk to. Macie always knew I liked you, but she didn’t want to get too involved.
” She sighs. “So when Scott offered to take away some of my anxiety and thoughts, I agreed.” She sucks in a deep breath.
My pulse thumps. “You slept with him because you felt alone?” Laynie’s eyes find mine, and the pain behind them is enough of an answer. “You were never alone.”
“It felt like it, and then I went and did something stupid.” Her hand smacks her head.
I shake mine. “You’re not stupid.”
She sits up, staring at me. “I know I’m not stupid. I said it was a stupid idea.” She argues, her chest moving faster.
“Err, right,” I murmur, focusing on her shaking.
Laynie’s breathing picks up, fingers digging into the material of my jacket so tightly that it’s pulling me down. She stutters for air. My protective nature kicks in once again.
I frown. “Laynie?”
“I ca—can’t breathe,” she squeezes out, losing control of her anxiety.
Pushing herself away, she holds onto the door, her eyes flared and cheeks flushed pink. I can tell she’s about to panic. Her hands and lips are trembling as she struggles to inhale deep enough. “Laynie, listen to me. Just breathe.”
Her head shakes.
I frown.
We’ve been through this so many times.
“Breathe…”
“I. Can’t,” she grits out through her tears, breath choked and hollow.
Moving to grab a hold of her hand, she pushes open the door and pulls herself out of the car into the darkness. I’m out a second later, droplets hitting me, soaking through my clothes. I see her leaning over the hood. I rush around, holding onto her waist as she catches her breath.
“You’re okay, Laynie. You’re okay.”
Her lungs struggle to grasp oxygen, and I go to rub her back, but she pushes me away.
Frowning, I move back a step as she collects herself, sniffling loudly, eyes sharp with tears as she stares up at me.
“I did something stupid, and I can’t take it back.
” Drenched hair swishes around her neck and shoulders as she fights to fill her lungs with air.
“And now you want to be part of this, but I can’t let you. ”
“Why not?” I bite out, needing to know what it is that’s holding her back. “Why won’t you let me?”
“Because I don’t want to ruin your life!” erupts from her throat. She’s shaking, hands fisting at her sides, and I let her. She needs to get out all her pent-up emotions, and I’ll stand here and take them.
My throat works, head shaking. “You’re not ruining my life. If anything, all you’re doing is ruining our chance to finally be together, Laynie. You can’t keep pushing me away because you think it’s what I want, because I’m telling you right now, it’s not what I want.”
Her chest heaves, the rain drumming down around us as we stand in the middle of nowhere. Boots squelching in the mud, she steps closer, irises burning with a silent irritation. “Then what do you want?”
“I want you!” I shout back, leaning closer to tower over her.
“Can you not see that? I love you, Laynie, and it tears me apart seeing you try to keep us away from each other. I don’t care that you slept with someone else and got pregnant.
I’ll love your baby like it’s my own blood, and you know it.
” She chokes on a breath, hand ruffling her hair, I continue, “I have loved you for so long, but I was too chicken to do anything about it.” I guess Reid was right after all.
“But I’m not letting you slip away again.
You’re mine, and I’m yours, and this baby is ours. You want that, and I want that.”
Blinking at me through the rain, I watch her lips tremble, either from surprise or the cold, but when her lips land on mine, I know it’s from awe.
Cupping the back of her head, I pull her close, knowing that I will never let her go again.
She’s mine. She always has been deep down, but now it’s out there in the universe.
Laynie Adler is mine, and I will love this baby with everything I’ve got.