Chapter 25
Excitement coursesthrough my veins as I skip happily toward the dining hall once more. My stomach is grumbling happily at the prospect of food. Even that of the sweet variety.
But I just can’t believe it. Finally, something went right with my magic. Something other than healing injuries. Or well, lighting myself on fire or running face-first into a wall. Every other act—minus the face squishing—has been brought on by my emotions, but this time, it worked because I asked it to.
The memory of Thaddeus’ own happiness at my win lingers in my mind, even though it was only moments ago. Pride shone in his eyes when he dismissed me from class, regardless of the daggers Miss Izzicle was throwing him.
What I can say, though, is that I am almost thankful for her interruption. While the timing was shit, it saved me from the inquisition I knew would quickly follow. But I know I’m not safe from his questions. They will just have to wait another day. Her presence, though, also reminded me once again of the up-coming test coming in her class. So that means going to the library instead of celebrating in my dorm room with the dessert I so desperately crave.
But I don’t turn around and head in the other direction. I’ll just nibble on it as I head over there.
My eyes blow wide as saucers when I come upon the one table I’ve been skipping since I’ve been here. There are cakes, candies, wobbly stuff that looks like a weird imitation of Jell-O, along with fruit, tarts, and something that looks strangely like that dead flesh, just covered in powdered sugar.
Hard. Pass.
As I peer through the selections, an idea starts to form in my mind. I’m hopeful it’ll work, but I deserve any anger Luka may throw my way. He helped me. He held me as I broke down. And what did I do? I ghosted him. Not the best way to say thank you in my opinion.
One of those plastic containers you get from takeout places sits at the beginning of the table, and I snatch one up, piling a little bit of everything inside. Minus the dead flesh. I doubt Luka eats that stuff. And if he does… I shudder just thinking about what his breath would smell like after. If I plan to do any kissing to his sexy mouth, he better have a stock of breath mints on hand.
Not that we’ll be kissing. Nope. No way. I’m going there to study and apologize. That’s it. Or that’s what I keep telling myself.
The container barely snaps shut, but I hold it carefully as I navigate the halls toward the library. I know Luka said he’s only acting librarian for now, so there’s a chance he may not even be there. If that’s the case, I guess more sweets for me. But even I know they’re always better to share with a friend.
Is that what we are? Friends? Marion and I are friends. But I don’t want to kiss her. I pull a face, wrinkling my nose just thinking about it. She’s beautiful, I can totally admit that. But I’m strictly of the dickly variety.
Luka, though? I feel like I want to be more than friends with him. Axel, too, if I’m being honest. My thoughts take a turn for the dirty side when I start to revisit that train thought in my head. Maybe I’m not ready for something to that extent, but eventually? Yeah, I think I’d like that. Very, very much.
But then the thought that they might not want that for their lives batters my dirty dream away, leaving me feeling an ice cold bucket of water was dumped on my head. I shiver as the unease of rejection roils around in my gut. My feet stumble underneath me, almost dropping the desserts, and I have to stop, propping myself up on the wall until it passes.
How can two men—two supernaturals—affect me like this? Is it the work of the gods? Are they trying to tell me something?
When I feel more centered, I blow out a harsh breath and continue to the library, imaginary fingers crossed that he’ll be there. My heart rate speeds up the moment the double doors he may be behind come into view.
Out of nowhere, that tug that led me to the library the first time clenches my belly, and like an invisible fishing wire, I’m hooked and being reeled into the room. I don’t know what it means, but I hope it’s something good. It led me to Luka before, and I can only hope it’s doing the same again.
The heavy doors are easy to slip by, my supernatural strength aiding in my charge. It’s quiet inside once again as all the other students finish their classes for the day. The door thuds closed behind me, making me cringe as it echoes around the vast space.
Dust emotes flutter in front of the windows as the sun shines in, making the library just a little bit brighter than it was the last time I was here. The inside of the library hasn”t changed much, either, except this time, the cart next to the main desk is overflowing with tomes of all shapes and sizes. Some look new, while others look older than dirt.
A door closes softly from somewhere behind the librarian”s desk, and I start to get nervous, shifting from foot to foot. The container of sweets trembles in my hands as I try to take deep breaths to steady myself. I don”t know why I”m acting like this, though. I shouldn”t be this out of whack. He”s seen me at my worst—bruised, crying, and snotting all over him after dumping myself through a portal. Now that I think about it, it seems to be a running thing with both of the guys. Axel and Luka. I”ve dumped myself practically into their laps through a portal, crying every. Single. Time.
Something about that doesn”t sit right with me. For once, I want to pop into my portal and show up on the other side with a smile on my face. And with what I accomplished today, I can actually see that happening. Soon.
The tug in my gut tells me that whatever is causing it is getting closer. I see his massive bulk coming around the corner before I even see his eyes. The man is just that wide. He stops in his tracks the second he spots me, and I nibble my lip, trembling for a whole other reason the longer he gazes back at me without a word. Finally, after what feels like two lifetimes, his sinful lips tip up in a smirk, and all his demigod swagger comes to the forefront as he continues until he”s standing right in front of me. My neck twinges as I tilt my head up until I”m able to see those stunning navy blue eyes.
”Hi,” I whisper, knowing that with his supernatural senses he”d hear me.
”Hey, goddess.” He reaches out, his calloused hand cupping the side of my face. I lean into the touch, all feelings right in the world again as his thumb softly brushes back and forth against my cheekbone. ”I wasn”t expecting you today. How...how are you?”
”I”m okay,” I murmur, but he raises a dark brow calling me on my lie. ”Ish. Okayish.” I try to smile, but even I know it falls flat.
”Come, goddess.” My cheeks flame as his words, the innuendo not lost on me. Nor him. ”Get your mind out of the gutter, dirty girl.” I have to swallow back a whimper at how his words make me feel.
Luka retrieves the box of sweets from my quivering hands, then laces our fingers together before pulling me further into the library. In the same direction as the door closing earlier.
We arrive outside of a plain wooden door, and he pushes it open, holding it for me to go ahead of him. I reluctantly release his warm hand and step into an equally plain room. A desk and a chair sit in the center, the walls bereft of any decorations. Is this his office? It”s kind of... sad if it is.
Like he read my thoughts, he tells me, ”This is a private study room. You have to reserve them, but I”ve made sure to keep one open. Just in case.” He winks at me as he passes by, placing the white container on the desk. ”Whatcha got in here, goddess?”
”Oh,” I mutter, my cheeks heating again at just how cheesy it is now that I”m here. ”Apology desserts?” I shrug my shoulders, trying to cringe away from my own words. Yep. This was definitely stupid.
Luka smacks his taut belly and licks his lips. Eyeing me like I”m the dessert instead of what”s in the container. ”I”m a growing boy, goddess. I”ll always take food as an apology. But there”s nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.”
”But—” I step forward, needing him to accept my apology like I need air to breathe. I don”t know why. But fuck.
He cuts the distance between us, snaking his arm around my waist. A squeak slips past my lips as he picks me up, clutching me to his broad barrel chest. My hands grab his shoulders to hold myself steady, but it”s not something I need to be concerned about. Luka is steady enough for the both of us. He proved that when I sobbed into his chest after the mall incident.
”Goddess,” he murmurs, nudging my nose with his. ”There is nothing to apologize for. What you went through was rough, and I would have been concerned if you were running around here acting like it didn”t happen. You”re strong. Fuck. You”re so goddamn strong. Look at all you”ve been through in such a short period of time. But I see your strength. I saw it that day at the lagoon, and I see it now, trying to apologize for something that doesn”t need one. It”s okay to be weak once in a while and protect yourself. And if you need it, I”ll be your pillar and hold you up until you can stand on your own two feet again.”
Tears well in my eyes at the picture he”s painting of the way he sees me. No one—not even my parents—has ever seen me that way. And if they did, they didn”t say anything. But those words... I didn”t know how badly I needed to hear them until he said them.
Not second guessing what I”m about to do, I lean forward, brushing my lips softly against his. Just like I wanted to do that first day if I wasn”t so full of myself with my hatred of his kind—our kind.
Luka pulls back from the barely-there kiss, searching my eyes. For what, I don”t know. But whatever he sees must have been what he was looking for because he closes the minuscule distance he put between us, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it and kissing me deeply.
The feeling of being in his arms and his lips on mine makes all of my synapses fire at once, lighting me up from the inside out.
I jolt in his arms, a moan begging to break free when his hand wraps around my neck, his thumb pushing against my chin to tilt my face. That small move deepens the kiss further, stealing all the breath from my lungs. When I feel like I can”t breathe, like he”s stolen my very life force with his lips, he pulls back, pressing his forehead to mine with his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
”Fuck, goddess. That was better than I imagined,” he pants, his breath ghosting over my lips.
”You...you imagined us kissing?” I ask between breaths, trying to get my erratic heart rate under some semblance of control.
”Since that very first day I saw you,” he admits, his cheeks pinkening against his tan skin. From being embarrassed or from our passionate kiss, I”m not sure. But pink looks good on him. Not that I”d tell him that.
”Same.” I almost swallow my tongue, kicking myself for admitting that to him. My actions that day when he first showed up were deplorable. I stared at him like a piece of meat, even as hate coursed through me for what he was.
Not anymore, though. Never again.
Luka closes his eyes again and takes a deep breath before slowly lowering me back to my feet. It almost feels like another form of rejection until he seems to decide something and takes my hand, drawing me over to the lone chair in the room.
He sits me down and crouches in front of me, the desserts on the table long forgotten. Remorse shines in dark eyes, then he averts them from my gaze, staring down at our entwined hand. “Goddess, there’s something I need to tell you.” The precious air I just got back from our heated kisses freezes in my lungs. Nothing good can ever come from those words.
I want to get up and walk away. Refuse to hear what he has to say. But I’m rooted to the spot, unable to move.
“You’ll probably be upset that I kept this from you, and you have every right to be.” Every word is like a fresh stab to the heart, and all I want to do is shake him and tell him to get on with it. To just hurry and break me so I can leave as soon as possible. “Bailey, I—we—” Fuck. Here it comes. Tears gather in my eyes, unprepared for the blow that’s about to happen. “You’re my soulmate, goddess.”
“What?” I screech, the chair toppling behind me as I jump to my feet.
Wait.
That’s not… well, shit. My hackles lower, and my body seemingly deflates as I think about his words. That’s not even close to what I was expecting him to say. “Why?” I shake my head. No, no…that’s not what I want to ask. “W-w-when,” I stammer, “h-h-how?”
How the hell is that possible? Professor Asshole said I was his mate. So there’s no way Luka and I can be mates. Right?
Luka laughs at my bluster, cringing when I shoot him the best death glare I can muster under the circumstances.
Planting my hands on my hips, I pin him with a harsh stare, begging with my eyes to explain. Because someone has to be mistaken. Unless there’s something I don’t know. Which in this world is entirely freaking possible.
But wasn”t I just thinking the other day that I”d rather have Luka or Axel as my mate? Jeez. I fist my hair, pulling tightly at the roots. I”m so damn confused.
”Whoa, whoa, goddess.” Luka is before me in a blink, disentangling my fingers from my long locks. ”Please, don”t hurt yourself. I knew it that day at the lagoon when you touched me. Fuck. You zapped me, and I haven”t been the same since.”
I pull away, shaking my head. ”Are you saying I forced this on you?”
”Oh gods no.” His dark hair falls over his eyes as he shakes his head before swiping it back. He closes the distance once more and clutches my shoulders so I can”t retreat again. ”You can”t force someone to be your mate. I was born with the purpose of being part of your soul.” Part?
”But, Lu, someone already told me I was their mate. Did they...lie?”
He grunts, gritting his teeth. ”No. And fuck, it pains me to admit that when I wish I could tell you yes. But for curiomancers,” he lowers his voice, almost whispering the word, which I appreciate, ”the more powerful you are, the more mates you need to keep you centered—soul mate or chosen mate. We all,” I grimace at the use of all, ”help keep your magic stable. You”re very powerful, goddess. You may not see it or, hell, feel it, but you are. I don”t want to hurt you by saying this, but I wouldn”t be surprised if there are more than just us.”
But...
”Is Axel...” I trail off, Luka already seeming to know what I”m asking.
He gives me a sad smile and shakes his head. ”No. But that”s not really my story to tell you, goddess. I will say, though, don”t count him out.”
”But how can you be okay with that? With...” I gulp. ”Sharing me.” He tilts his head as he decides how to answer, but I lift my hand, stopping anything he might say. ”Forget it. Don”t answer that. I don”t even know if I”m okay with that.” But I”m also a big fat liar. Because I was already thinking about him and Axel running a train on me. Fuck. This is all so damn confusing.
”Let”s put a pin in this conversation for later.” His hands slide from my shoulders up to cup my face. ”You can take time to think about it all and decide what you want to do. Just know that I”m here, goddess. And I”ll wait forever if I have to. But you”re mine, and I”m yours. And I”m not going anywhere.” I sag in his hold, the weight of this whole life once again bearing down on my shoulders. It”s all just so damn much. It”s one thing right after another, and I never feel like I have enough time to just...be. ”I know what we need.” A mischievous smile lifts his lips. ”Let”s get out of here and explore the city.”
My spine goes ramrod straight, a slight tremor working its way through my body. Out. He wants to leave. The library. The academy. The grounds. To go to the city, out in the open where there are others around. That little tremor turns into whole-body quakes, and I”m shaking my head, backing out of his hold. ”I...I...I c-c-can”t. I”m not...not ready.” So much for being the strong woman he said I was. Now I”m just a scared little kitten, exactly like Jasper called me on my first day here.
“Bailey.” My eyes open, not having realized I closed them. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?” He holds out his hand, understanding simmering in his navy eyes.
Trust. It’s such a hard thing to come by nowadays. There’s no way to truly know if someone is going to fuck you over in the end. But Luka has never given me one reason not to trust him. He was there for me. Has been here for me, even when I didn’t know it. So yeah, I think I can.
I slip my small hand into his large one, looking up at him sincerely as I say, “I trust you.”
Let’s just hope it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.