Chapter 3
Dawsyn gives me River’s last known location and sends me on my way. The very thought of stepping beyond the confines of the pack to search for him sends joy through my veins, and I can’t suppress the grin that splits my face as I descend the pack house stairs with an eagerness that seems to make the very air around me thrum with energy.
I have a bag to pack and a mate to find.
Finding him and making sure he’s okay is my number one priority. River might have carved into my heart with a wooden spoon by leaving without a word, but I understand now that he thought he was making the right decision. All this time, I’ve tried giving him the benefit of the doubt, believing that things went really wrong and he’s had no choice other than to run. Yet, knowing I’m going to see him soon, I can’t deny that a part of me wants him to pay for abandoning me.
He broke my heart while also still being the only reason it beats within my chest.
I will find my mate and I will bring him home. Even if that means I have to tie him up.
Let me take him down. My wolf emerges from the shadows of my consciousness, her voice a growl of pent-up determination.
A sliver of shock rolls through me. Over the years, since having to learn how to be without our mate, she’s remained a quiet presence in my life. Always there and supporting me in our trainings, but keeping to herself when possible.
If I’d completed the bond with River and then lost him like we did, I’m sure she would have convinced me to go rogue by now. Instead, we’ve had to suffer through our shared heartbreak and figure out a way to come out stronger.
Do you think it will come to that?I ask her with a tinge of uncertainty. That we will have to force him?
I know I said I’d tie him up to bring him home, but actually being forced to do so is something else entirely, and suddenly I’m not so sure that I’m prepared for what we’re about to face.
We’ve spent years training for this moment, she replied confidently, though still aloof. You will do whatever it takes to keep him safe, even if that means protecting him from himself.
Her conviction anchors me, and the weight of assured readiness settles in around me. We’ve been ready for months, maybe even years now. The young, na?ve heart River left behind has matured into a driven, unstoppable, and motivated woman.
With renewed vigor, I stride toward my cabin, intent on getting the hell out of this pack before anyone can try to stop me, but the moment my small home comes into view, I come to an abrupt stop.
Sitting on my front porch is my sister Sophie. The sun shines down on her, highlighting her brunette hair and making her green eyes shine as they glance up at me.
Her smile doesn’t make me feel any better, and I cautiously close the distance between us. “I can’t talk right now, Soph,” I say as I open the door to my home.
She follows me inside without an invitation. “I know, but that’s exactly why I’m here.”
Defiance rears its ugly head within me. “You can’t stop me from finding River,” I declare without slowing until I enter my room. “He’s my mate, and I’ve waited long enough.”
Her hand grabs my shoulder, a gentle yet unyielding force causing me to turn around. “I know, Jules.”
My head tilts to the side. “What do you mean?”
I’m fully prepared for a battle right now, but she’s confusing me.
“You’re not a child anymore,” she says softly. “You haven’t been for a long time now and I didn’t want to admit that you don’t need me anymore, but you’re ready for this and I’m happy for you. Truly.”
Damn it. I don’t know how much I need to hear those words until she says them. My body crumples in on itself and I lean into her open arms, a shelter I’ve become all too familiar with these last few years thanks to my storming emotions.
Her hug is all encompassing. “I love you and you’re going to find River and bring him home to all of us.”
I nod against her shoulder. “I will.”
Sophie pulls back, her gaze alight with sisterly pride as she smiles. “How can I help? What do you need from me?”
Turning to grab a duffle from behind my dresser, I try to think. My mind has been so focused on just knowing where River might be for the first time in six years that I haven’t thought about the resources that might make this all easier.
“Kyler’s truck if it’s not too big of an ask,” I say with a grimace. Being able to get through any kind of territory and having the space to toss a full-grown wolf into the bed might come in handy.
“Consider it yours,” Sophie replies without hesitation.
She really is the best. There were a couple years after moving here that I had a hard time getting along with her after all we’d been through, but seeing her now, I know that was just more wasted time. Her love and loyalty aren’t something I intend to ever take for granted again.
“What about food?” she adds. “Oh, and clothes for River. Do you still have his things his parents left? Of course you do. That’s a stupid question. You’ll also want some weapons.” She pauses but before I can get a word in, she holds a finger up and gives it a solid shake. “Tranq gun. Knock his ass out if he’s being stubborn.”
I snort and give her my full attention. “Maybe you should just come with me.”
I’m joking, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I wonder if it would be better to have backup.
“You know I can’t do that, but I absolutely would if I could.” Her hand covers her stomach, her resolve as clear as the love in her words.
The area beneath her touch is still flat, but she’s right. I do know.
I step closer and add my hand over hers, feeling the life within. “Of course. We can’t put Jules the Second at risk.”
Sophie lets out a hearty laugh that momentarily lifts the heaviness from the room. “So, you’re already assuming the baby is a girl and picking out her name? You’re taking this auntie business rather seriously.”
“She has to be a girl,” I say with a wink. “We can’t have Kyler thinking he’s going to one-up us with a son. Girl power all the way.”
My poor brother-in-law has endured some torturous nights, being ganged up on by me and Soph, but he’s always taken everything in stride and with a smile on his face. I don’t think my sister could have found a more perfect mate.
“I’m going to get Kyler’s keys and load up the truck with some things you might need,” Sophie says, leaning closer to give me a hug. “You finish up here and meet me at our house.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” As much as my stomach churns with nerves, I’m still filled with a fierce determination that continues to propel my movements forward.
She shows herself out and I finish throwing a few outfits into my bag before I glance at my bed, or more specifically to what I know is stored beneath it.
Totes full of River’s belongings. His parents, Vaughn and Kelly, left them with me a couple years ago. It was a sweet gesture but had set me back months.
For weeks, I couldn’t leave my cabin. All I wanted to do was be surrounded by his scent, holding on to whatever fragments of my mate that I could find. His lingering scent had been a balm to the raw wounds that his absence created, or so I kept telling myself.
It wasn’t until Dawsyn showed up and forced me out of my crazed state and promised me that we’d work together to bring River home that I finally put everything away—aside from a few shirts I wear to bed—that I got my shit together again.
I haven’t lost it since and hope that’s not going to change anytime soon.
Pulling out two of the totes, I carefully open the first lid and nearly weep. River’s scent is barely still present, but there’s enough there to remind me of what I almost had, what I’m not going to give up easily.
I’m coming for you, River.
With shaking hands, I grab a few things for him, only allowing myself a deep inhale of the sweatshirt I fold and put into the bag.
I give the totes a final glance. If I have my way, they’ll be the first thing I unpack when we return.
Heading to Sophie and Kyler’s home that’s only a few minutes’ walk from mine, I see her next to the truck with the door open and Kyler exiting their house with several bags and…a gun.
Not that I’ve never shot one before, but I’m not a fan, preferring to use my claws over man-made items. Though, if this is the tranq gun my sister mentioned before, I have no qualms about using that to keep River safe.
Sophie takes one bag at a time from her mate and sets the items into the truck before climbing in. I watch her rearrange things, placing waters and snacks within reaching distance of the driver’s seat and tucking the rest under the back seat.
Kyler slings an arm over my shoulders. “You better bring my truck back in one piece.” He laughs. “I’m kidding. Mostly. As long as you and River come back in one piece, nothing else matters.”
My head leans into his side, allowing myself a moment of gratitude for their unwavering faith. “I appreciate that.”
“And don’t worry about things here,” he adds. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t stress too much.”
All I’ve sensed is support from Sophie, but of course, Kyler would know the truth of her emotions and I don’t blame her for being worried. Not when I am as well. The most important fact is that she’s supporting me.
Sophie hops out of the truck and shuts the back door. “Now, you’re ready to go.”
I step away from Kyler and throw my arms around her. “You’re going to make an incredible mother. Hell, you already are. What you’ve done for me… I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you for that.”
She holds me tighter. “No thanks needed, Sister. Helping you have the life you deserve has been my honor.”
Emotions burn up my throat, and I blink away the tears that threaten to fall. This isn’t the time to lose control.
I pull away and clear my throat, steeling myself for the trip I’m about to take. “I guess that’s it then.”
“And you’re heading where?” Kyler asks, pulling Sophie to his side and holding her waist.
“Dawsyn said he was last spotted in Colorado,” I reply. “I’m hoping once we’re close enough, my wolf will be able to track him through the bond, even though it was never completed.”
“You’ll find him.” My sister nods with confidence. “Don’t forget to call. And be safe.”
“I will. Love you both.”
With one last goodbye, I hop into Kyler’s truck and hope like hell all my unease is for no reason, that whatever reason River has been running from everyone is just some odd misunderstanding.
As I pull out of the driveway, I snort.
Fat fucking chance of that.