Chapter 9
After bringing River and Jules back to the pack, I leave as quickly as I can. I need Foster. I need space. I need…nothing, because I don’t deserve any sort of relief.
For the last five years, I’ve known the potion I gave River didn’t work as planned. I tried everything I could to fix the mess I created, but it was already too late.
I have no clue how Jules broke through to him—I can only guess I have the Moon Goddess to thank for that—but I was convinced that I’d ended his life.
The guilt has been choking me for so long that I can’t remember the last time I took a full breath or have been able to relax. Even on the days I’ve spent focused on the community’s needs, River has never been far from my mind.
Now, having seen the torture in his eyes personally, I don’t know how I’ll ever move past this.
I teleported back to LA, my intent originally to go find Foster, but when I arrive at the pack house and everything is dark, I decide otherwise.
The need to expel my frustrations, to unleash the pent-up magic within, is too strong to ignore. Lying in bed with my mate might make my heart feel better, but this tornado of chaos within is so much bigger than my heart.
Hurting River, even if unintentionally, had a ripple effect. I had to watch so many people worry over him that I’ve lost faith in myself. Not only that, but trust in my ability to help my mate lead his pack.
I’ve spent months slowly pulling away from everything that I might be able to destroy. I hoped that getting River back might alleviate my fears, but it seems seeing him has only amplified my remorse.
Soon, I find myself at the community that used to be my coven. Beatrix turned our home into a safe haven for all supernaturals. Though, it still leans heavily on the witch side, which is why I’m here.
The training center they have is the only place that I can fully release my powers without worrying about hurting anyone else. I need that right now.
Except as soon as the building comes into view, I sense a familiar presence behind me. My shoulders droop. I love this woman, but I’m not in the mood for her. I keep walking, hoping she’ll leave me be, but instead, she reappears in front of me.
“What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” Beatrix asks with a raised brow.
The woman might be leaning toward ancient in terms of age, but she is still a force to be reckoned with.
Her silver hair is braided over her shoulder, and she wears an all-black cotton outfit, the pants billowy on her smaller frame. When I don’t answer her right away, her green eyes darken. “Andie.”
“River is back in East Texas,” I tell her, hoping that will be enough. She knows how I’ve suffered, has even tried to help me through a lot of my worst days, but my magic, my mess.
“And?” she presses. “Does he have his memory back?”
I nod. “Jules was the key.”
“Damn wolf mate bonds.” Her gaze flicks toward the night sky. “That goddess is too powerful for her own good.”
She might be, but I have no ill-will toward the Moon Goddess. Not when she brought my mate to me and gave me a wolf spirit that’s not only helped me stay connected with the pack over the years but has deepened my relationship with Foster by allowing his wolf to also have a partner in this mateship.
“I’m just here to use the training room and then I’ll be gone,” I say, hoping that will be the end of our conversation.
“I’ll join you.” She gives me her back and heads toward the building.
“Beatrix, it’s the middle of the night,” I point out. “Go get some sleep.”
She turns around and levels me with her stare that shimmers under the moonlight. “Do you think for one second that I’ve had peace knowing how you suffer or that River’s absence hasn’t affected me just as it has you? You are my family, Andie, as is that boy. I will help you through this.”
My throat burns and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. Beatrix has been the matriarch of our mismatched family for so long now. Not only has she given us a connection to one another that we didn’t know we needed, but we’ve also given her a purpose.
As she gets older, I sometimes forget that she isn’t the snarky, all-powerful witch I first met. She’s a mate, a friend, a leader, a GiGi, an…everything to some of us.
I hate that she’s hurt because of my mess-up, but maybe after tonight that will change for the both of us.
My hand reaches out for her. “Let’s do this together, then.”
“Good answer.” Her fingers wrap around my palm, and I go to step forward, but I’m frozen in place.
“Bea—” I can’t get more than those three letters out. Magic spreads from her hold on my hand, trickling up my arm as she reaches for my other hand.
“I love you, Andie,” Beatrix starts. “I have since the day you were born and even more when your Aunt Junie made me promise to look after you when she no longer could. To so many people, I’ve never been more than a heartless bitch who does what she wants, but you know better than that. You know me, which is why I need you to not fight me right now.”
That’s harder to do than just her asking. My muscles are coiled, and my magic is doing its best to break free and push her away. Yet, I’m frozen in place, locked inside my own agony.
She continues, “I have wanted to do this for so long now, but you weren’t ready. You had unfinished business in the form of River. Now that he’s home safe and sound, you have no choice but to accept this.”
I wouldn’t say safe and sound just yet. He hasn’t been checked over to make sure the potion is fully out of his system.
“My time for ruling is over,” she adds, her bright eyes staying locked on mine. “I’m tired and old and I want to spend the rest of my days with my soulmate. Not controlling every little aspect of this place. It’s time for me to move on and the same for you. You have to move on from your mistake. Shit happens. You’ve seen me screw up too many times to count. Nobody is perfect and you need to get rid of this notion that you need to be.”
Oh, Gods. She isn’t really doing this right now, is she? The heat absorbing into my skin says yes, but on our own? Without the help of our most powerful witches? Beatrix really is crazy.
We’ve talked about me taking over as leader of this community, especially as I’ve pulled back from the pack. They haven’t needed me, and my best friend Charlie has been great at stepping in at Mack’s side as the beta female. Yet, I never took Beatrix seriously. I knew why I was backing away, and it wasn’t to take over another horde of supernaturals.
“You can do this, Andie,” she says as a silver glow grows around the two of us. “You are smart and capable and stronger than you know. You have accomplished so much over the years. I won’t allow for one misstep to define what you do moving forward. I need to know that I’ve left you on the right path and this is it. You taking charge, showing the world that we are not to be fucked with, and continuing to bring everyone together.
“Don’t fight your destiny. Own who you are, body and soul. Admit that mistakes happen, but that they don’t have to define who we are. Learn from what’s been done, grow from it. You are more than magic. You are light and heart and power. I have known that since the moment you returned. Now, it’s time for you not only to know as well, but to believe in yourself.”
Beatrix steps forward until our foreheads are touching. As she closes her eyes, mine flutter shut as well. My mind is bright with her light, and three shadowy figures start to come closer.
Mom, Aunt Junie, and my grandmother. A woman I’ve never met, but I recognize her energy and know without a doubt that she is family.
They’re standing there, pillars of strength and love. I can’t make out the details of their faces, but I feel them in my heart. I can’t see their mouths moving, but I hear their whispers of encouragement.
I was born for greatness. I’m capable of more than I’ve yet to realize. Our world needs the kindness I can offer.
The restraints I’ve held around myself begin to rattle, my magic pulses inside me, and my shoulders rise. I can do this. Not because of who I am, but because of the power I have standing with me.
I don’t need to be perfect, because I’m never going to be on my own.
For too long, I’ve told myself I wasn’t good enough after what I did to River. I pushed everyone away for fear of hurting them too. Even Foster has felt my distance, but he’s been steadfast with his patience.
No more. Beatrix is right. I needed this push, and she was the only one who could have given it to me.
“That’s our girl.” Her voice breaks through my thoughts. “When you’re ready, open your eyes.”
I take in my mother, aunt, and grandmother one more time. I don’t often get to talk with them, but they’re always there when I need them. Their support and strength have gotten me through so much over the years, and I almost let myself forget that.
Not again.
Looking at Beatrix again, my attention only stays on her aging face for so long before I realize the two of us are locked inside a sphere of energy.
Tendrils of silver, blue, and purple whip around us, mixing together before separating once more. I want to reach for the power, but Beatrix still has a tight hold on my hands.
“This is the power of the coven, Andie,” she says earnestly. “We might be part of a community now, but the witches are still one and they need a leader. By taking on this magic, you become their beacon, their sense of home and safety. They will count on you to be wise, not on your own, but as a whole. Will you be everything they need and more? Will you swear to protect the lives of the witches tied to you with all that you have?”
I can move again and nod my head. “I will, now and for however long I’m blessed to do so. I will care for them as you have, and I will make you proud.”
Beatrix’s gaze softens as she squeezes my hands, and she offers me one of her rare genuine smiles. “You already do.”
She releases me, and the moment the connection is lost, the wisps of energy converge over Beatrix, creating a ball of magic in front of her that swirls with the intensity of a thousand witches. I’m drawn to the power unlike anything I’ve felt since officially becoming Foster’s mate.
Wind whips around us, still trapped inside the shield. Just as I try to reach out, the magic feels as if it explodes and a blindingly bright light takes away my sight.
No matter how many times I blink, there’s nothing to see other than white around me. “Beatrix?”
My voice sounds far away, and my heartrate increases until magic slams into my chest, making my body feel as if it’s folded in on itself from the impact.
I can’t breathe or see or move, but I’ve never felt more alive.
The power from the hundreds of witches within our coven illuminates within me, making me feel as if I’m ten feet tall. Their energy swells like the waves of the oceans, a force to be reckoned with, and I’m now charged with keeping them all safe.
The weight of that responsibility settles over me, but I’m not afraid like I would have thought before Beatrix showed up. There’s a warmth within me that calms my thoughts and emotions, reminding me that there is nothing we can’t handle together.
“Well, I didn’t expect that,” I hear Beatrix say, and my eyes shoot open.
“What’s wrong?” I glance around, but there’s nothing around us. Not even the shield we’d been surrounded by moments ago.
She chuckles. “Nothing at all. In fact, everything is more right than it has been in much too long.” Her hands wrap around my shoulders. “Your journey has only just begun, and I can’t wait to see all that you do.”
As sweet as she’s being, I can’t stop from glaring at her. “You tricked me.”
“You needed the push.” She shrugs.
I want to be mad at her, especially for doing this when she knew I was vulnerable, but I also know she’s right. I would have wallowed for as long as I could, allowing my guilt to control me.
Not that I don’t still feel remorse over what happened to River, but with the energy of the coven flowing through me, the hollowness in my chest is no longer there. The drive to make things better is all that I feel. Well, that and the need to get home to my mate and tell him everything.
My arms wrap around the old witch. “Thank you. For everything you’ve always done. Even if we didn’t understand or agree, you never gave up on us.”
“And I never will.” She squeezes me back. “You might hold all the power now, but I’m still here for you.”
We separate, and she shudders. “Alright. I need to go before I combust.”
My head cocks to the side. “What’s wrong?”
She glances back toward the houses. “Without the distraction of the coven, I think I’m finally feeling the effects of my soulmate bond.” She grins widely. “Unless the world is ending, don’t bother me for a few days, okay?”
I chuckle and return her smile. “Take all the time you need with your mate. We’ll be here when you need a breather.”
“Ha!” She cackles. “That ogre will need one before me. I’m still spry. Age is just a number.”
And with that, she teleports out of sight, and I’m left laughing alone. Though, not for long.
I have a mate to get home to and plans to make. Things are only going to get better from here.