CHAPTER 2
BELLA
JANUARY
The warm water raining down on me is welcoming against the deep chill that settled in my bones early this morning and stayed with me all day.
I’ve never understood how January is always colder than December but somehow it is.
The thick layer of white I woke up to find outside my window this morning would have been welcome a month ago when we were all feeling festive and embracing all things Christmas, but now it’s just a pain in everyone’s ass.
I have thirty minutes to get ready and get my ass across town to the Calloway Ranch for Liv’s baby shower but the deep ache settling in my bones and the heaviness building behind my eyes makes me want to crawl into bed and watch movies for the rest of the day instead.
I don’t know if it’s exhaustion from the long hours at work or if I’m coming down with the flu but the longer I stand in this shower, the harder it feels to hold my body upright, so I quickly rinse the suds from my hair and body and climb out, grabbing a towel from the warmer.
Whoever invented those, by the way… Genius.
Once I’m completely dry, I pull on a pair of skinny jeans and pair it with the light blue off the shoulder sweater that I bought specifically for today.
When Liv found out she was expecting a baby boy, Amelia – Grayson’s mom – and Elizabeth – Savannah’s mom – went full grandma mode and started planning the baby shower.
It’s been a long time coming and although I feel like death, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
I think for the longest time we all believed that Grayson would never have the kind of love he has now or that he would eventually go on to have a family. It was no secret that he believed he didn’t deserve it. And that just makes today even more special.
I haven’t known Liv as long as I’ve known Grayson, but the moment I met her and Savannah, I knew they were people I wanted in my life forever.
My thoughts are interrupted by the bedroom door opening and I look up at Justin through my vanity mirror. He leans against the door frame, his white dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves as he crosses his arms over his chest.
I smile at him, resuming my hair brushing. “Hi, honey. Did you just get home?”
He’s silent for a long moment, his eyes holding mine in the mirror and I try to get a read on the blank expression on his face.
“Hmm,” he hums.
I frown at his minimal response and turn to look at him properly. “Are you okay?”
His eyes trace the length of my body before meeting mine again. “Where are you going?” He asks, ignoring my question.
“To Liv’s baby shower. I thought I told you it was today,” I reply, confused by his strange behaviour.
He tilts his head. “No. I don’t think you did.”
Now it’s my turn to look him up and down. His eyes are slightly glassy, his usually put-together self more dishevelled than normal. There’s a look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.
“Are you drunk?”
Justin blinks at me before pushing off the doorway and moving across the room until he’s standing directly in front of me. His fingers find my chin, his thumb pressing into my bottom lip as he lifts my head so that my eyes meet his.
“Is he going to be there?” He asks, searching my face.
I blink at him. “Who?”
The smile that climbs up his face is full of spite as he stares down at me. “Don’t play dumb with me. You fucking know who.”
I sigh, my shoulders dropping in defeat. “No. He won’t be there.”
The he he’s referring to is Noah.
He has been like this ever since New Years Eve.
I should never have played that stupid fucking game of Never Have I Ever.
We left the party shortly after Justin leaned over and whispered in my ear that I had some explaining to do. And boy did I have to explain myself. He grilled me until the sun came up.
He’s been different ever since. Every time I leave the house, he questions where I’m going, who I’m going with, if Noah is going to be there. If I’m late home, he questions me. Every day after work, he asks if Noah came into the café that day.
It’s becoming draining.
To some extent, I understand. If the shoe were on the other foot and I had just found out that he had a one-night stand with a woman he spends the majority of his time with, I don’t think I would be too happy about it either.
But I also trust him enough to know that it is in the past. That she isn’t someone I have to worry about anymore.
And the fact that he is questioning my every move just proves that he doesn’t trust me even a little.
“But he’ll be on the ranch?” Justin asks and I nod.
“He lives there, Justin. So yes, he will be on the ranch somewhere.”
“I thought I told you how I felt about you being around him,” he says, his grip on my chin becoming tighter as he tilts my head back even farther.
I’m not familiar with this version of Justin and a boulder of dread settles in the pit of my stomach as I stare up at the man I thought I knew. I’m unable to find the words to respond with and my silence only seems to spur him on.
“How am I supposed to trust you to be around him without me there, huh? How do I know you’re telling the truth, and he won’t be at the baby shower.”
I swallow thickly. “You know you can trust me, Justin. I’ve never done anything to make you think otherwise.”
He laughs humourlessly, shaking his head. “Nah, babe. I think you need to prove it to me. Prove to me that I can trust you.”
My eyebrows dip and the boulder in my stomach sinks lower. “What? How?”
His free hand moves to the belt around his waist, and my eyes follow every movement as he unbuckles it, undoes the zip and lowers his slacks and his briefs. The moment his hard dick comes into view, nausea hits me.
Is he suggesting what I think he’s suggesting?
Is this shit turning him on?
My eyes widen in disbelief, and I lift them once more to meet his. “You can’t be serious.”
He smiles wide, his white teeth on full display. “Oh, I’m serious, babe. Show me how much I can trust you.”
I look between his face and his dick once, twice, a third time before I regain some fucking sense and snap my head back, freeing my chin of his hold.
“Fuck you, Justin,” I say, my voice trembling with emotions I’m trying my hardest to conceal.
I stand abruptly, done with this fucking conversation, and barge past him, my shoulder knocking his as I go.
Just as I pass, he grips my wrist, halting me in place and I turn, ready to tell him to let me go when he says, “Best behaviour tonight.”
And then he leaves.
***
Grayson and Olivia’s barn-style house has been completely transformed into a sea of blue.
There are a mixture of dark blue, light blue and white balloons creating an arch over a welcome sign at the front door.
Blue cupcakes, cookies and sweet treats cover the kitchen island, a two-tiered cake in the centre with a pair of newborn sized cowboy boots on top.
Liv sits in a chair that’s been strategically placed in the centre of the main sitting area.
Her long, usually straight black hair falls in loose waves over one shoulder.
She smiles wide at something Elizabeth is saying and her face radiates with happiness.
Her hand rests on her bump, drawing small, affectionate circles absentmindedly as she responds to Elizabeth and the sight brings a smile to my lips.
“I can’t believe she’s actually having a baby,” Savannah says, coming to stand next to me.
I turn to look at her, my brow creasing. “Is it that surprising?”
She shrugs, a grin teasing her lips as she watches her life-long best friend. “She always said she would be the fun aunt forever.”
“And then she met Grayson,” I say.
“Him having a baby is even more surprising,” Amelia, Grayson’s mom, adds, joining us with her grandson Crue resting on her hip. “I thought that boy of mine was gonna be a hermit forever.”
Savannah and I chuckle and when Crue begins to giggle at his Mama, all three of us burst into hysterics.
My laughter quickly dies when my phone buzzes in my back pocket for the second time in five minutes. The fact that I’m surrounded by almost everyone I know means that there is only three possible people it could be. My brother, his best friend or Justin.
As much as I’d rather not speak to any of them, I say a small prayer that it’s one of the former and not the latter.
Sure enough, when I pull my phone out there’s a text waiting for me from Justin along with a handful of missed calls. I frown at the screen.
Justin: Answer the damn phone, Bella.
I hold my phone up and excuse myself. Savannah nods with a smile before her eyes drop to the phone in my hand and the smile drops from her face.
I don’t give her strange reaction much thought as I step out onto the front porch and round the corner of the house to ensure that nobody overhears.
I redial Justin and the phone rings three times before his slurred voice comes through the line.
“Oh, look. She learned how to use her phone,” he spits.
I take a silent breath, already tired with this conversation. “I didn’t hear it ringing.”
His responding laugh is dry and full of malice. “Yeah. Must be hard to hear anything when you’re fucking Noah, huh?”
I almost choke on my own saliva at his accusation. He’s made some comments about Noah since the New Year’s Eve party, but this is the first time he has outright accused me of ‘fucking’ him. “What are you talking about, Justin?”
“You know what I’m talking about. Do you think I came down in the last shower?”
I scoff. “No. I think you’ve had too much to drink and sound insane. I’m at my friend’s baby shower. Grayson isn’t even here, let alone Noah.”
There’s muffled laughing and the distant sound of shoes crunching on gravel, almost as if he’s moving across a parking lot and I can’t bite my tongue fast enough to stop myself asking, “Where are you?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he sneers sarcastically before hanging up.
“Everything okay?” A voice sounds behind me and I whirl around, finding Savannah standing on the porch. I smile at her and tuck my phone back into my pocket.
“Yeah. I was just letting Justin know what time I’ll be home.”
“Hmm.” Savannah nods thoughtfully and I shift under her all-knowing gaze. “Is there anything you want to talk about?” She asks and I swallow thickly.
“No.” I shake my head, trying to force a sincere smile. The look she gives me tells me that she doesn’t believe me at all, but thankfully she doesn’t press the issue. She just reaches for my hand and squeezes it reassuringly.
“You know where I am if you do.”