BELLA
***
BELLA
Wind whips against my face and my eyes water as Chance gallops across the open land. My smile is so wide that my cheeks ache and in this moment I can’t for the life of me remember why I ever stopped doing this.
There’s nothing more freeing.
I can hear the heavy pounding of hooves behind me as Noah and Nugget gain on me and a childlike giggle escapes me when I glance over my shoulder and see how close they are.
In seconds, Noah is riding alongside me, his smile mirroring my own as the two of us put all of our trust into the horses beneath us.
I don’t know how long we ride side by side like that before a line of thick trees come into view and I look to Noah for direction. He begins to slow and I follow suit, using the reins between my fingers to let Chance know what I want him to do.
Noah doesn’t speak, just leads us into the tree-line and onto a trail and I follow behind him, taking in the beauty of the nature surrounding us.
It’s quieter here, the towering evergreens protecting us from the wind and I soak it all in. The sound of birds chirping above us. The distant trickle of a stream. And the quiet rustling of leaves.
“I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed, Bells,” Noah says, breaking the silence.
I smirk at him. “You doubted me.”
He gives a regretful nod. “I did. I won’t do that again.”
Now I laugh. “I wouldn’t advise it.”
If I’m being completely honest, I doubted myself too.
When Noah asked me if I wanted to ride Chance, my stomach sank.
I know what this horse means to him and the thought of doing anything to spook him or hurt him terrified me.
But the moment I let him outside the barn, and I had a moment alone; it all came back to me.
And at the first opportunity I got, I was gone.
I took off running for two reasons. One, I had a point to prove. And two, I needed to put as much distance between me and the youngest Calloway as possible before I embarrassed myself again.
Because even though I spent the better part of last night in a state of panic after Justin tried to force himself on me, all I could focus on was the comment he made at breakfast this morning.
It’s not so much what he said, but more the way he said it.
I’ve spent so long either avoiding Noah or arguing with him that I had forgotten just how much of a flirt he could be. I had forgotten the effect that he once had on me.
I used to be so infatuated with Noah. Thanks to Killian and Daisy, we had formed a close friendship when we were just teenagers.
Being slightly younger than him, I always felt so special that he wanted to spend his time with me.
Of course, he kind of didn’t have a choice when it was just the four of us and Killian and Daisy would constantly sneak off, but still, I felt special.
And like most teenage girls, I grew a crush on him.
That crush only grew as years went on until I was basically in love with him.
That all came to an end when I finally opened my eyes and realised that what I was feeling was completely unrequited.
I learned from watching from afar that no matter how sweet, caring or flirty Noah is with me, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the way he is. It’s his personality.
And beneath it all, he is still the man who took my virginity at a party and then swiftly forgot all about it.
And somehow that hurt more than the fact I just ended a two-year relationship with a man I thought I would marry.
There must be something severely wrong with me to even be focused on that after everything else that’s happening in my life right now.
“Are you okay?” Noah asks, and I blink in his direction.
“What?” I shake the thoughts from my head. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
His brows pull low beneath his cowboy hat. “Are you sure? You look like you’re ready to punch someone. Or cry.”
I force a fake laugh and try to school my features. “I’m fine.”
He observes me closely but doesn’t say anything and I quickly change the subject. “It’s so peaceful out here.”
“Hmm,” Noah hums, turning his face skyward. “It’s my favourite place to come when everything else gets a bit too heavy and I need to clear my head.”
I nod, wondering what could possibly bother this man who has the personality of a unicorn. I’m pretty sure that in all the years I’ve known Noah Calloway, I’ve only seen him ruffled once. And that was when he found out that I was going on a date with Justin.
I want to ask him to elaborate. The curiosity burns in my throat, but I swallow it down, not wanting to overstep.
“I can see why you’d come out here,” I say instead. And because apparently, I have absolutely zero brain to mouth filter, I add, “I bet it’s a hit with all the women.”
Noah’s head spins in my direction, his expression a mixture of surprise and seriousness. “I wouldn’t know.”
My cheeks heat in embarrassment and I look away from him, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
“Because it’s what you think of me.” Noah shrugs.
“No.” I start to protest but then sigh. “Yeah.”
“It’s fine, Bells. I know what people think. I know what they say about me. And I guess in some ways, I’ve earned that reputation.”
“But your reputation is a facade. It isn’t who you truly are,” I reply. Guilt gnaws at me when he smiles sadly in my direction.
“No, it’s not. It’s a mask I wear in public. But people have never tried to take the time to really know me.” Noah shrugs again. “They want the Noah that loves to party and has a different woman in his bed every night. So that’s what they get.”
“Don’t you get sick of being that Noah, though?”
“Sometimes, sure.” Noah’s face takes on a small smirk as he leans in. “But sometimes it has its perks.”
I roll my eyes, knowing he’s joking but also wishing he would stop trying to brush off a serious moment with a lewd comment.
“Do you think you’ll ever give it up?” I ask, pushing for more of this side of him.
He raises an eyebrow in my direction. “My reputation?”
“The facade,” I correct.
He’s thoughtful for a moment, is gaze drifting off into the distance as he mulls over his answer. I wait in silence, the soft thud of horseshoes against the ground the only sound between us.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” He sighs. “When the time comes that I hopefully find what my brother’s and Killian have found, with the right woman of course, then yeah.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “You want what they have?”
“Sure, I do.”
“Wow.” My voice is just above a whisper, the shock evident.
Noah glances my way. “Why’s that so surprising?”
“I just never thought you’d be the settling down type. I can’t imagine you with the white picket fence and two-point-five kids. That life seems too… boring for you.”
A low chuckle rumbles in his chest. “Clearly you haven’t heard what’s been going on in the tack room.”
“What?” I frown, confused.
“Nothing.” Noah shakes his head, amusement lining his tone. “All I’m saying is, married life with me? Could never be boring.”
“Okay…” I draw out, still confused by the tack room comment.
“What about you?” He asks as we come to a halt along the edge of a small stream and dismount from the horses.
“What about me?” I ask, guiding Chance to the water so that he can have a drink.
“Think you’ll settle down? Get married, white picket fence and the two-point-five kids?” Noah asks, mirroring my actions.
I blow out a long, thoughtful breath. “If you had asked me that two months ago, I’d have said yes. Now, I’m not so sure.”