CHAPTER 26
BELLA
My breathing is laboured as I collapse against Noah’s shoulder, my entire body going lax in the wake of the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my entire life.
His chest rises and falls in rhythm with mine and I feel his cock twitch beneath me, still hard from his lack of release.
I pull back, sliding my body down the length of Noah’s and look up at him. His brow dips. “You okay?”
“Perfect,” I answer, still slightly breathless as I reach for the waistband of his shorts. His hands shoot to mine, stopping me.
“This wasn’t about me, Bells.”
I frown in confusion. “What?”
Noah wets his lips and sits forward, hooking his hands under my arms and pulling me back until I’m in his lap again. “What just happened here? I didn’t do that with the expectation of something in return. I just wanted to make you feel good.”
“You don’t want to feel good, too?” I ask, not understanding.
Noah chuckles and suddenly, I feel a little stupid. “Of course I want to feel good. And I do. Fuck, Bells. Watching you come apart like that is one of the best things I’ve ever seen in my life. But I didn’t do it because I want something in return.”
“But you’re still hard.” I state the obvious.
He laughs again. “I’ll survive, Bells.”
I have never done something like this where it didn’t lead to sex, or the man didn’t expect something in return. It’s foreign. And for some reason, it feels a little like rejection.
Noah studies me, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m predictable and wear every emotion on my face or he knows me too well, but his expression darkens. “Do not do that.”
“Do what?” I ask, feigning confusion.
“Don’t doubt my want for you. Because I want you, Bella.
I want you more than my next fucking breath.
” He flexes his hips into me, showing me the very hard evidence of his want between his legs.
“You feel that? That is what you do to me. Constantly. I could easily pull my hoodie off your body and fuck you right now. But I know that if I get inside of you, even once, I’ll get greedy.
And your brother will never allow that. So, yes, I fucking want you, but I can’t have you. ”
I cross my arms, pissed at everything he just said. “So, what? You’re just going to deny yourself. Deny the both of us, to keep my brother happy? My brother who is married to my best friend.”
“Yes. I made…” Noah cuts himself off, shoulders dropping as he blows out a frustrated breath and shakes his head. “No. I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Can’t we just enjoy tonight and take the rest as it comes? Please?”
All the anger fades away when I look into his pleading eyes. He’s right. I’m getting way too ahead of myself. I mean, Christ, I came on the man’s fingers less than five minutes ago and I’m already sounding like a needy, clingy girl begging for more.
I sigh and nod. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
Noah strokes my cheek affectionately. “Don’t be sorry.” He sits up, brushing his lips over mine in a tender kiss that makes my cheeks heat.
“Now, let’s get you cleaned up so that we can eat and watch the movie, yeah?”
With a shy smile, I nod my agreement.
***
Blinking against the harsh morning light streaming in through the open curtains, I groan before rolling over and stretching out a hand, searching for the man I know fell asleep beside me last night. Instead of a warm, muscular body, my hand lands on something rough and crinkled.
Eyes opening, I sit up and lift the piece of paper from the empty space beside me and read the surprisingly neat handwriting.
Bells,
I have to run out for an emergency repair in one of the north paddocks. I didn’t want to wake you.
See you later?
p.s. you look beautiful when you’re sleeping.
Noah xo
I read the note three times, my attention coming back to the final sentence over and over. A warmth floods my cheeks, and I gnaw my bottom lip to control the smile wanting to break free.
He could’ve left me a text message and it would have served the same purpose, but I’ve come to learn that leaving little notes is Noah’s thing.
With a happy sigh, I stand from the mess of blankets and cushions on the living room floor and begin tidying it all away.
When I’m done, I head to the guest room I’ve been residing in and take a shower. Usually, I would be in and out, leaving my longer showers to the evenings, but I don’t have to be at the café until lunch time, so I take my time as I run a razor over every inch of my skin and wash my hair.
Climbing out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my body and wipe the condensation from the mirror before reaching for the hairdryer and curl products.
Once my hair is dry and falling in loose waves down back, I open my makeup bag. I apply my usual amount of daily makeup, keeping it light and natural but add a little extra blush to my cheeks and shimmer to my lips.
Moving to my temporary wardrobe, I stand there, shoulders slumping at the meager choice of clothing staring back at me.
Most of my belongings are still at Justin’s house.
Or not. He might have thrown them out by now for all I know.
And I haven’t been shopping for anything new since I left with only the stuff I could grab.
I glare into my wardrobe for much longer than necessary before choosing a pastel-yellow sundress and white sandals for my outfit.
When I’m dressed, I turn to the full-length mirror on the back of the wardrobe door and look at myself.
For the first time in years, I feel confident in my own skin.
My eyes are alive and lack the dark circles they had only a month ago, my muscles relaxed after so long being tense as I awaited the inevitable berating I would get for my choice of outfit.
And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Noah is the one responsible for that change.