CHAPTER 30
BELLA
Parking my car in front of the little boutique in town, I smile through the window at Daisy where she waits for me on the sidewalk.
I texted her a couple of days ago and arranged for the both of us to go outfit shopping for Hunter and Savannah’s joint bachelor-bachelorette next week, and I figured it was also time I was honest with my best friend about everything that’s been going on.
Grabbing my bag from the back seat, I climb out of the car and lock it, pushing my sunglasses up on my head as I round the vehicle and pull her into a hug.
“Hey,” she says, looping her arm through mine as we part.
“Hey, yourself.”
We step up to the boutique and push through the door together, our arms still interlinked. “So, any idea what we’re looking for here?” Daisy asks.
I shake my head. “Nope. But I need a couple of things since I don’t have much at Noah’s.”
We move to the racks of clothing, starting at the one holding an array of denim jeans and shorts and begin flicking through them.
Daisy eyes me over the top of the rail and I raise an eyebrow at her. “Go ahead. Ask your questions.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry. I just feel like I’m so out of the loop on your life right now.”
I pick out a pair of cute mom-jeans and drape them over my arm, moving onto shorts. “I know. And it’s me that should be sorry, Dais. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to keep things from Killian and telling you everything means asking you to do that.”
Daisy stops her perusing, giving me a serious look. “Bella, I might be married to your brother, but you are my best friend. I loved you long before I ever loved your brother.”
My insides twist with regret at her words. Because she’s right. Daisy Bennett was one of the most important people in my life before she was ever Daisy Ashby. And she was always the first person I told everything. For most of my life this woman in front of me has been my sounding board and I hers.
My heart aches at how far I’ve allowed myself to drift away from her.
“Justin was cheating on me,” I admit in a quiet voice.
Daisy’s eyes widen. “What? Who with?”
“His secretary.” I shrug like it’s no big deal. “And probably anyone else that would have him.”
“God, Bella. I’m so sorry,” Daisy says, her chin wobbling.
I eye her, confused by the tears gathering in her eyes. “Are you about to cry?”
“No,” she responds immediately, blinking furiously.
“Hormones?” I ask, trying to conceal the amusement in my voice.
She nods, her lip between her teeth. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I bat a hand through the air.
“I was sad about it for the first twenty-four hours, but when I woke up after those two days feeling lighter than I have in years, I quickly came to realise that I was never in love with him the way I thought I was. I think I was just in love with the idea of having the life you, Savannah and Liv have.”
We move on from the denim rail and on to the dresses and I run my fingers over the soft fabrics, taking out the ones that catch my eye.
“Do you think…” She pauses, debating her words. “Do you think Noah’s helped you realise that?” My heart thrashes in my chest just from the sound of his name, images of the past week assaulting me.
“In some ways, yes,” I tell her honestly, cheeks heating under her burning curiosity. “But it’s more than that.”
“There’s something going on between the two of you, isn’t there?”
I avert my gaze, focusing on the clothes for much longer than necessary. “It’s uh… new.”
Daisy gasps, clapping her hands excitedly and I quickly stop her, looking around the boutique to make sure she hasn’t drawn attention to us. “Would you stop?” I whisper, laughing.
“Sorry, sorry. I’m just happy for you. It’s about damn time.”
My brows pinch. “What do you mean?”
She rolls her eyes, throwing a cute tank top over my already weighed down arm. “Oh, please. It’s obvious the two of you have been dancing around each other for years. And I saw the way he was looking at you at the cookout the other day.”
“Does Killian know?” I ask, my breaths quickening with panic.
“No. I think Killian is the only person on this planet that hasn’t noticed the obvious attraction between you and Noah.”
Blowing out a relieved breath, I nod. “Noah thinks he’ll never allow it.”
Daisy scoffs. “Noah’s probably right. Killian told me years ago about some stupid promise he had him make.”
I freeze, gaze flying to hers. “What promise?”
Daisy continues perusing items of clothing, unbothered as she responds. “That he’d stay away from you.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I say, much louder than I intended which causes a few heads to turn in our direction, but I’m suddenly far too angry to give a shit.
“He’s married to my best friend, but I’m not allowed to go near his?” I ask, incredulous.
My body thrums in frustration. At Killian for making Noah take some sort of fucking oath, and at Noah for doing it.
Daisy looks at me, her eyes filled with sympathy, and I know what’s going to come out of her mouth before she even opens it.
“He was kinda right to do it, though, Bells. Noah is a player. Has always been a player. I don’t think the man has ever had a girlfriend.”
My jaw clenches so tight I’m worried I might break a tooth. Her response pisses me off for two reasons. One, because she’s defending her husband and his macho big-brother-bullshit instead of seeing it for what it is – hypocritical. And two, because she’s right.
God-fucking-dammit.
In all the years I’ve known Noah, he has never once had a girlfriend. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with the same woman twice. So, what makes me any different?
My mind flashes back to the day he took me out to the forest on the horses. He told me that day that he could see himself getting married and having children someday. But only, when he finds the right woman.
Am I fooling myself by thinking that this thing between us could actually go somewhere? Could I be the right woman? Or am I just a placeholder? Someone to warm his bed at night until the right one comes along to take her rightful place.
My stomach sours and I stay silent, my mind running a million miles per minute. Taking the clothes slung over my arm, I head to the till and pay for them, not bothering to try them on first. I just need to get out of this store and away from the walls that feel as though they’re closing in on me.
Once out on the street again, I suck in my first full breath in minutes. Daisy’s hand landing on my shoulder startles me. “Bella, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
I shake my head, swallowing down the emotions threatening to spill. “No. It’s fine. You’re right.”
She steps closer. “No. I’m not right. I shouldn’t have said that. You aren’t like those other girls he’s been with. Do you really think he’d risk his friendship by getting involved with you if it was temporary?”
I absorb her words, allowing the rationality in them to soak into my bones and calm the storm raging inside of me.
Because, no, I don’t think he would.
Fuck, this is all too much too fast.
I’ve been sleeping with the man for a week for goodness' sake.
With a resigned sigh, I give my friend a closed lipped smile. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
And then I pull out my phone and let my anger take over as I fire off a text that will likely change everything.