Chapter 11 #3
“It’s pointless using death as a punishment for a man who prays for it,” he grumbled, raking a hand through his hair.
“He had a breakdown on Monday. Rivera found him trying to shove a needle in his arm and got me once he’d calmed him down.
I’ve never seen Diesel so at peace with defeat.
He told me to kill him or he was visiting her, and when I refused, he held a gun to his fucking head.
I don’t know what to do with him, Holloway.
I can’t excuse him from the crew, it doesn’t work like that. If I could let him leave, I would.”
I took another shot before turning to face him. He looked like he’d aged ten years since the weekend.
“Does the crew know?”
“Brick does, but that fucker’s on team Rory too,” he huffed, looking annoyed. “I’m at a loss.”
“Maybe you should go and see her. Look her right in the eye and—”
“And what? Feel guilty? Let her make me feel bad so I help her? Then what? She gets out and we all act like she wasn’t sneaking around with the Devils?
There’s only so much willpower I have with that fucking girl,” he snapped, putting his gun on the table and scowling at himself.
“The cunt could cut my damn dick off and I’d let her apologize.
I need to stay the fuck away from her. She won’t make a joke out of me, not like Marco did. ”
I put my gun down too, eyeing him. “What the fuck are you going to do then?”
“The same thing I’ve been doing since I was seventeen when Marco fucked me over. Block it out, curse them out before bed each night, and wake up like I got a decent sleep,” he said dryly, motioning for me to finish up so we could leave.
We’d been at the range for hours, and my growling stomach told me it was past dinner time.
“Did Diesel say anything about her?” I asked as we tidied up.
“No, he knows better. She’s in with Lexi’s fucking crew now, so she has some protection. No idea who shivved her though.”
“Do you really think she was spying on you for the Devils?” I asked, making him pause to look at me. “I’d probably believe she was sneaking around with the guys because she wasn’t really discreet and did the same thing with Slash, but being a spy?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. She was sly about them, so who knows?” he said flatly.
“I miss Ty,” I admitted, and he gave me an amused grin.
“It was a pretty strong bromance.”
“Don’t you miss the way things were a few months ago? I feel like everything’s changed.”
“It has. Go and see him, nothing’s stopping you.
You’ll have to go alone though because I’ll kill the little fucker,” he answered before we switched off the lights and headed past the counter to say goodbye to Brendan.
Once in the McLaren, Skeeter glanced at me.
“I can appreciate you backing me, but you don’t have to.
I know it’s putting strain on you and Josie. ”
“Mom doesn’t get it. She likes Hunter and Marco,” I said with annoyance.
“They’re stupidly charming,” he agreed as he started the car. “They swear nothing was going on, but is it an act?”
“Let’s get food and head back to yours for a beer. I’m too sober for this,” I grumbled, checking my phone to find a message from Tyler.
Tyler: Xbox?
I might have been beyond pissed with Rory, but I was full of guilt about Tyler. Despite our current Rory issue, I didn’t hate him. I was simply frustrated that he was too blind to see that she was playing everyone, and every time we got together, we argued.
I understood, he had abandonment issues, so there was no way he was going to cut her off, but me avoiding him was probably causing him a lot of grief. We’d barely been apart for more than a day or two at a time our whole lives.
His text was an olive branch, a small way of reaching out without making it a big deal, and I sighed before putting it back in my pocket without replying, swallowing down the guilt. If he was gaming, it meant he was probably playing with Marco.
Regardless of my feelings about missing Tyler, I still wanted to stomp Marco into the fucking ground.
Letting Tyler back in meant accepting where he stood about the Devils, and I wasn’t prepared to toe that line. Skeeter had been pretty honest with me lately about his history with Marco and Hunter, so it made sense that he was so angry.
The first few days I definitely wished death upon Rory myself, lashing out at every chance possible. I understood Skeeter and he understood me, so we’d somehow teamed up on the hate train.
The longer I went without her though the harder it was becoming to stay away. I wanted to see her and get answers because I could tell if she was lying, but I also agreed with Skeeter that she’d suck us back in even if she had fucked us over.
It was obvious the others were all visiting and calling her, and part of me hated not being included in that, but what if we’d been right? If she’d been sneaking around with them, then what else would she lie about?
Something inside me told me that was bullshit and she was innocent, but I squashed it down, knowing that could just be the guilt getting to me at leaving her in there without contact.
One glance at Skeeter told me he was deep in thought too, which could make things either blow up more, or calm down.
Chances were high if he held any guilt it would just piss him off and he’d snap again.