Chapter 5
VICTOR
Icouldn’t afford to stay in a motel room forever, so I found myself at Enzo’s two weeks later, sleeping on the couch. A baseball game on the TV played in the background, and I hit the mute button on the remote when Vanessa arrived unannounced.
I rose to greet her, but she crossed over to me quickly—too quickly, and I knew I was in for it.
Her first slap stung, but not as much as the second. Then Enzo stepped between us.
“You’ll just stand there and take it like the bitch you are!” Vanessa hissed at me over his shoulder, her brown eyes blazing. “How fucking dare you!”
I had expected this. Vanessa was a wildcat at the best of times, but over Lila? Yeah. I deserved this.
“Vanessa. I said—” I rubbed my cheek and stared at her, hoping she’d at least listen to what I had to say.
She went for me again, but Enzo held her steady.
“Calm down,” he muttered as she scowled at him through furious eyes. “I know you’re mad, but you’ve already hit him twice since you got here. Try using your words.”
But Enzo’s calm words did nothing. She was like a hellcat.
“I’ll kill you!” Vanessa threw over his shoulder, before he carried her to the opposite couch with throw blankets and scatter cushions, sitting her down with firm hands on her shoulders.
“No one is killing anyone in my house,” Enzo said, staring daggers at me. “Even though he deserves it.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, still bracing for my sister to come at me. I’d been at the receiving end of her wrath before, but I think this was the wildest I’d seen her.
Fuck.
I didn’t think I could feel any worse.
Wrong.
“After her dad left her mom for another woman, you fucking did this? You absolute piece of shit!”
Also, true. I bowed my head, wanting to die. It felt like I’d been living underwater, reality a million miles away from me. Lila would never forgive me.
“Who is this bitch? Did she know you were married, huh? I’ll find her, and I’ll crack her head like a fucking watermelon!” Vanessa glared at me, her chest rising and falling.
I winced, knowing full well my sister would, too. She was fearless, very like our mother. Our Italian, feisty, don’t-fuck-with-me-mother.
Fuck, my mom’s going to kill me too.
I stared at the floor while my sister continued ranting, throwing threats around like grenades.
“You’re a cunt! I swear to God, I’ll scratch your fucking eyes out for doing this to her!”
Eventually, Enzo took her into another room, where I heard something worse.
My sister was crying.
I hung my head in shame. They wanted an explanation, didn’t they? Didn’t everyone? Why did I do it? When I had the perfect woman, a solid marriage. Why would you risk that?
Because I’d been unhappy. And I’d tried talking to Lila, and she didn’t want to know. She’d snapped at me and told me to deal with it, and I couldn’t.
I missed my wife when I was lying next to her in bed.
It wasn’t an excuse, but I felt like she hated me. I still loved her, and I’d have done anything for her…but her for me? I didn’t think so.
I’d tried talking, but she didn’t want to know. She shut me out. Nearly a year without sex and refusing to talk about it, except for one drunken fumble she couldn’t wait to forget.
“Vanessa has promised to listen to you, but only if you tell her the real reason why you cheated on Lila.” Enzo huffed, darting a concerned look back to the other room where my sister paced like a lioness.
I nodded. I could tell her the truth, but it wouldn’t ever be enough for her. I got it. It sounded pathetically selfish, and in hindsight, it probably was.
Vanessa strode in, standing across from me with Enzo in the middle of us, watching her warily. She had her arms crossed, and her foot tapped the floor the entire time.
“I know no reason is good enough,” I began, finally making eye contact with her.
She glared back at me, fire in her eyes. Her lips pressed together as she watched me.
“We haven’t been intimate in nearly a year,” I confessed, dropping my gaze. “Every time I tried to talk to Lila, she lost her shit with me. Told me I didn’t understand. I wanted to, but she just kept pushing me away.”
“Boo-fucking-hoo,” Vanessa snapped, but Enzo shot her a sharp look, and she slammed her lips together again.
“I missed her. I missed my wife even when she was right next to me. She looked through me. Ignored me most days.”
Enzo glanced at me, and I addressed the elephant in the room.
“I met Cami one night while out with my work buddies.”
“Did she know you were married?” Vanessa demanded, her fingers tapping on her arm. She was losing patience.
“Yeah.” I sighed.
“Whore. Home-wrecking fucking whore,” Vanessa spat as Enzo held his arm out to keep her back from me. “And you’re a fucking piece of shit!”
“Do you want to know what happened?” I snapped, glaring at her. “I know you’re pissed, but I’m your brother.”
“No. You’re nothing to me now.” Vanessa pinned me with a look of disgust. “I can’t wait for her to divorce your sorry ass.”
I swallowed, knowing she was speaking in anger, but still. It fucking hurt. I loved my sister.
“Vanessa,” Enzo warned, but she shook her head.
“Lila is my best friend, Enzo. We’ve been tight since we were six years old. I was there for her when her piece of shit dad left, and now I’ve got to be there for her because my brother screwed someone else and ruined her life.”
Fair point.
“I’m sorry,” I said, rising to my feet. “But I wasn’t happy. Neither was she. I just… handled it wrong.”
Vanessa stared at me, her eyes filling with tears. “You broke her heart, Victor. You ripped it out and fucking stomped on it. She’ll never get over this, and you’ll never get her back. I hope you know that. She’s done with you.”
Then she turned on her heel and walked out, the glass door shuddering in its frame behind her.
My body felt numb. I watched Enzo follow her out to her car, and I slumped back onto the couch, the cushions soft behind me.
I handled it wrong. What an understatement.
But it was the truth—if I could turn back time, I’d beg Lila to see a therapist with me. I’d never have gone out that night, the night I met Cami, and allowed temptation and attention to take me away from my wife, the only woman I’ve ever loved.
I’m such a fucking fool.
Cami hadn’t stopped texting me, reminding me how I wasn’t happy and that this was probably for the best.
What did she know?
Did she expect me to move in with her and marry her?
Fuck no.
But I had to say something to her. It’s been over a week since this all kicked off, and I’ve ignored her like it’s all her fault when it was actually mine.
She sent Lila that fucking video—I couldn’t forgive her for that.
Not ever. Seeing Lila in such pain, on her knees on the soft cream carpet in our bedroom…
I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath, forcing the image from my head.
Then I texted Cami.
Victor: I don’t want to see you again. What happened between us was a mistake. I love my wife, I just forgot how much. You’ve done enough damage, so just keep away from both of us. Please.