Chapter 29
VICTOR
Lila’s text glared at me.
Lila: How’s your little slut? You weren’t thinking of me when you were buried inside her, were you?
Well, fuck. She always did have a way with words, my girl.
What the fuck could I say to that? I dropped the phone on my chest and stared at the dirty ceiling, a feeling of utter despair and a horrifying acceptance sweeping over me.
This is it. This is my life now.
I didn’t have to stay here forever—just until the house sold. It shouldn’t be too long; the house was in a desirable area. Near schools and shit.
My phone lit up again, and this time it was a call from Lila.
I nearly dropped my phone trying to stab the answer option on my screen, my stupid fat fingers nearly declining the call.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.” Her voice lit this shit room up like the ray of sunshine that it was, and I fought the urge to break down and cry. I trembled but kept it together.
“Baby…Lila…”
“I need to talk to you. Can I come over?” Her voice was crisp and controlled, unlike I’d ever heard it before.
But there was something more lurking there. She sounded…unsure. Scared maybe.
I sat up in bed.
“Yes.” I didn’t even need to think twice. She wanted to see me, she saw me. Simple.
“Can you send me your address? I’ll come now.”
Now?
It was nine in the evening.
Something was wrong.
“Are you alright? Do you need me to come to you?” I was already out of bed, tugging on my pants.
“No. Send the address please.”
Then the line went dead. I stopped, staring at the screen to see she’d ended the call.
“Fuck,” I whispered, sending her a text with my location, before realising Lila was coming here. “Ah, shit.”
I tried to tidy up a little before the buzzer went off, but it was what it was. Lila probably didn’t give a shit where I was living—she’d think I deserved it, which I guessed I did.
I opened the door, my heart racing in my chest when I saw her standing there.
She was tanned—glowing, actually. Her hair was in loose curls around her shoulders, and she wore an off-shoulder sweater and leggings. I wanted to sink to my knees and fucking beg for her forgiveness; I loved her so much.
A lump formed in my throat as I backed away, waving her inside my awful place. My cheeks burned with embarrassment when she blinked, staring around her like she was afraid to move further inside. I closed the door behind her and studied her, unable to stop smiling.
“You look so beautiful,” I whispered, reaching for her hand.
She flinched, moving away before we touched, and it hurt like hell. This was the woman I had loved since the moment I’d met her, and the woman I would love until the day I died.
Knowing this and taking in the way she looked at me was fucking horrifying.
Like I was dead to her. Her eyes were cool and narrowed, no sign of the fear I thought I’d heard on the phone. I wanted to ask her if she’d fucked the man in Greece, if she was seeing him, if she missed me…
But I knew from looking at her that none of that was my business. I also knew she didn’t miss me. Not one fucking bit.
Why had I ever cheated on her? Why? She was, and always would be, the most beautiful woman in the world. She’d been my best friend. The woman I wanted to grow old with.
What the fuck had I been thinking?
I’d thought this since the second Lila had left me, but now, it was worse. Somehow, it was louder, like the crack of a whip in the silence, or the first shot of a gun at the start of a race.
“Victor…” Lila began, unable to tear her eyes away from her surroundings. “I came here to tell you something.”
Had the house sold? Surely, she could’ve texted me that. Oh god, was she moving to England to be with that prick?
“So, I’m pregnant.”
Dizziness slammed into me, forcing me to grip the kitchen counter so I didn’t fall.
What? Why was she here, telling me this? How did she even know she was pregnant; she’d only met him four or five fucking weeks ago.
I’m going to find him and kill him.
“It’s yours.” Lila glared at me, like my thoughts had offended her.
It was like being hit by a truck. I gasped and shook my head; certain she was wrong. We hadn’t…
“But…”
“My mother’s birthday. Yes, even I struggled to remember.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice, but I remembered. How she’d laughed so much when we drunk that nice wine, how we’d made love like we’d always used to.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Heat flooded my face before ice replaced it, and I couldn’t keep up with my emotions as they slammed into me from all sides.
A baby.
A fucking baby with my wife.
“Fuck, baby…” I whispered, and for a brief second, I saw her. My wife. My Lila. My world. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” Lila crossed her arms over her chest. “Also, the payment is due on the mortgage. There hasn’t been much interest in the house.”
I blinked, unable to think of anything other than the fact I was going to be a daddy.
Lila was carrying our child, and nothing else mattered.
“I’m back at the house now,” Lila continued. “It’s still on the market, but I can’t afford to move until it’s sold.”
“Right,” I said, my voice coming out all croaky and shit. “Are you…how are you doing? How far are you?”
My baby. Lila is carrying my baby.
She frowned at me. “Around ten weeks. I have a scan in two weeks—”
I imagined seeing my baby for the first time, hearing the heartbeat—
“Can I come to the scan?” I blurted, as she stared at me. “Please?”
“I don’t want anything to do with you, Victor. The baby doesn’t change a thing. I’m just telling you because you’re the father. You have the right to be in the child’s life. Not mine.”
Reality slammed into me as Lila looked around. My shoulders sagged, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.
“Lila…”
“No, Victor. You destroyed our marriage. You don’t get to be in my life.”
Those words sliced into my throat, cutting the tendons and vocal cords, leaving my love for her pouring from the wound.
“I will send you a photo of the scan image, and I’ll keep you up to date with everything. Please make sure you make the mortgage payment.”
I can’t breathe.
“Jesus, please. I—please, listen to me.” My words were broken. I was stammering.
Lila hesitated, and I seized the opportunity.
“I fucked up so bad. I can’t walk away from you Lila, I can’t. Without our baby—”
Baby.
“I can’t live without you. I don’t want to. Please, I love you so much.” Then I panted—fucking panted—the exertion of trying to get my words out before she walked away was too much.
“Have you finished?” Lila whispered.
My eyes scanned her face, but there was no emotion.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I was stupid—”
“Clearly, your words mean nothing. I mean, look at our marriage vows.” Lila sighed and looked at me. “There’s nothing else for us to talk about. Goodbye, Victor.”
She turned and walked to the door, opening it delicately like she was scared of catching something. She stopped, one shoulder out of the door, and my heart jumped.
“I’ve been to the clinic. I’m expecting my results in a few days. If I’ve been infected because of your choices, if the baby is at risk, that’s on you too. I hope for your sake that when you buried yourself in her dirty cunt, you wore something.”
Then she was gone, the door clicking shut quietly for once behind her.
I stared at the door before backing away, turning to the window and staring down at the street so I could watch her leave. She’d parked right outside the entrance to my flat, and she slid into the car so fast I barely saw her.
Not that I could through the tears anyway.