Chapter 37
LILA
Victor was here.
Enzo had brought him, and my heart leapt about a million times when I saw Victor’s face as he walked up the drive.
He’d done that so many times before; walking up the drive, complaining about the neighbour’s parking and how tired he was.
He’d then see me and his eyes would light up—actually light up—and he’d cuddle me and chat about dinner.
If I made him react like that when he saw me, why did he fucking cheat on me?
I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned my attention back to my phone.
I’d been researching pregnancy trimesters and had found myself on a forum for expectant mothers.
Then I’d gotten lost in all the posts, seeing myself in so many of them.
Apparently, after twelve weeks of pregnancy, it got easier, as the placenta was formed and could provide for the baby without relying on my body.
My hand stroked my stomach as I read, until there was a knock at the door—how very polite of him. But then, his key no longer worked, so what did I expect?
I inhaled and closed my eyes before striding to the door, saying a silent prayer for me not to murder him upon sight.
It was always a possibility.
I opened the door, and there he stood—the morning sunlight creating a halo effect around his head.
He was no fucking angel.
“Morning,” he greeted me, his chocolate brown eyes locking on mine. His gaze dropped to my stomach and his lips lifted in the corner before he caught himself.
“Hi,” I replied stiffly, forcing my gaze to Enzo who waved from his car. I smiled at him and waved back, then moved back to let my wreck of an ex-husband back into the house.
His cologne hit me first, assaulting my senses so violently I felt dizzy. I stared at the olive skin on his neck as he walked past me, wondering if Cami kissed it like I used to. Open mouthed kisses like he loved, dragging my teeth along it with promises of what was to come…
Urgh, fuck.
My heart hammered in my chest as he dropped his bags to the floor, clearing his throat as he turned to look at me. He swallowed. “You look beautiful.”
I blinked.
Was this how he was going to play it?
He looked painfully thin, almost shockingly so. His clothes hung from his skinny frame; his eyes were circled with darkness and bloodshot.
Fucking hell. I’d never seen him looking so rough.
A pang of sadness vibrated in my chest, but then I remembered that he’d done this to himself.
The bastard.
“You look like shit.” I shut the front door and snatched up my phone. “The spare room needs making up. I’d appreciate it if you kept as far away from me as possible. Like a lodger would.”
Pain flashed across his eyes and he opened his mouth, like he was in shock.
Good. Welcome to my world.
“Lila…” he began, but I waved my hand.
“Victor. This is purely financial. If it were up to me, I’d never see you again.”
His gaze dropped to my belly, unspoken words filling the room between us.
Of course, I’d have to see this man regularly because I was having his child. But that was unfortunate—it wasn’t a choice I’d made. It was a choice I would've made months back—to have my husband's child.
But now?
He was dead to me.
“I see.” Victor raised his brows and coughed into his fist. “I’ll head out of your way.”
I lifted my chin and crossed my arms, waiting for him to finally leave the room, to give me access to the air he’d stolen the second he’d walked back in. Tears filled my eyes ,and I cursed myself.
I’d sworn I wouldn’t cry. But it was too much seeing him here again.
I busied myself with my phone for a few hours until I heard his footsteps on the stairs, and my entire body stiffened.
I heard a glass clink, and the faucet turning on.
Okay, he was making a drink. That was fine. Absolutely fine.
Then I heard him drinking it, the sound of his throat bobbing making my hackles rise. I tried to ignore it, but then he rinsed the glass, placing it on the side which annoyed me even further.
Then he coughed. Again.
“Are you sick?” I snapped, pinning him with my gaze.
Looking at him was a mistake. He looked sick. He was pale, for starters, and he had a sheen of sweat on his forehead. I sat up.
“I’m fine,” he said, his voice raspy.
He wasn’t fine.
I eyed him. “I can’t risk getting sick.”
Victor nodded. “Yeah, I know. The baby.”
Oh, fuck, it was hard hearing him talking about the baby in here. In our home.
I ignored him the best I could until my stomach rumbled, demanding food. I put a cheese sandwich together, contemplating stabbing Victor with the knife.
Where are these murderous thoughts coming from? It was alarming.
I watched TV until I dozed off, almost jumping out of my skin when I heard his voice.
“I’m heading to work,” Victor said quietly, glancing at the door.
Work?
I knew he’d lost his job, but I’d assumed he’d get another—he’d been in the trade all his life. I frowned, rubbing my tired eyes. It was dark. What work could he do on a building site?
Then I saw his coat, one I’d not seen before, with the word ‘security’ printed on the front like a name badge.
Security?
I blinked in confusion. “You have a new job?”
He’d always worked in construction—surely security didn’t pay as well? Panic set in as I imagined him not being able to pay the bills but living here anyway.
Victor gave me a sad smile and shrugged. “Another job.”
I stared at him.
“Another job?” I echoed, and he nodded.
“Yep. Okay, do you have a set of keys? Mine don’t work anymore.”
He was working two jobs? My mind was frantic, trying to work it out.
Why?
“Lila?” He looked concerned as I realised he was waiting for a response.
“Keys. Erm, I got you a set made. They’re hanging on the key rack.”
Victor flashed me a smile that used to send me insane with lust, but now I felt nothing but pain.
“Thanks. I won’t be back until around four or five.”
I gawked at him. “In the morning?”
I grabbed my phone. Of course, he meant the morning. It was five in the evening now.
“Yeah.” Victor walked to the door. “Have a good night.” He paused, staring at me a beat too long, then he left.
I stared at the closed door, hearing him lock it behind him. Ever security conscious, even now. He never left me alone in the house without locking the door.
I scrambled over the sofa and headed upstairs, hurrying to my bedroom window to watch him leave. He walked down the street with his head down, and my heart ached.
He had to walk because I’d burnt his truck, I remembered with a wince. But then he’d gotten drunk and wrecked anyway, so it wasn’t entirely my fault.
But still, I watched him until he disappeared around the corner. I sighed and dragged my hands through my hair, deciding to have a bubble bath.
God, I had to share a bathroom with him.
I ignored his toothbrush as it watched me run the bath, his deodorant still filling the air. I opened a window.
Then curiousity got the better of me, and I padded towards his room.
His room, the spare room.
My breath caught when I opened the door, his familiar scent greeting me. Memories of us making love on the spare bed filled my mind because Victor had wanted to christen every room in the house. I’d laughed and tried to protest that it was for guests, but I’d climbed him like a tree anyway.
I sucked in a breath and held a hand against my chest like it would stop the pain.
It didn’t.
There was a book on the bedside table, face-down. Victor didn’t read. Ever.
So, what was it?
I went over, feeling prickly for being in here with his presence surrounding me.
Then I turned the book over, my heart flying into my mouth when I saw the title.
Pregnancy for dummies.
I placed it back, making sure to put it back as it was so he wouldn’t know I’d been in here.
Victor was reading about the pregnancy. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
Part of me wanted to punch him, and the other part wanted to ask him what he’d learned.
God, why did he have to do this to us?
I backed out of the room and closed the door softly, my throat thickening with emotion.
I texted Vanessa.
Lila: I’m struggling with him being here.
Three dots appeared immediately. Then her reply:
Vanessa: What's he doing? I’ll come over and tell him about himself.
I laughed as I shut the bathroom door and locked it for good measure.
Lila: He’s not doing anything; he’s at work. It’s just…weird.
My phone flashed with a call from Vanessa.
“Hey,” I said softly as I turned off the faucet. I tested the water with my fingers before placing the phone on speaker.
“You okay, girl? How’s my niece?” Vanessa’s voice boomed into the bathroom, and I hurriedly turned the volume down even though no one else was home.
She was convinced I was having a girl. There was no logic to it either.
But that was Vanessa for you.
“I’m fine, just tired. I’m twelve weeks on Monday, then I have the scan…”
With Victor, I added silently.
“Damn, I bet you can’t wait to see the little bean!”
“I can’t,” I confessed, stepping out of my pants. My belly wasn’t too swollen yet, but it was definitely rounder than usual.
“And my brother? What’s he doing to piss you off?”
“Drinking.”
“Drinking what? Is he getting drunk again?” Vanessa’s voice hardened. “I swear to God—”
“No!” I laughed. It felt weird, the sound echoing in my chest. “Water.”
There was a pause.
“Sorry? He’s pissing you off by drinking water?”
“I know. It was the noise. Swallowing.” I groaned. “I sound crazy.”
Vanessa snorted. “You sound pregnant.”
“Yeah. He looks awful, Ness.” I put the phone down and tugged my top off, releasing my bra.
My breasts ached immediately, and I winced.
“Yeah, but it’s his own fucking fault.” Vanessa sighed. “He’s home though, so at least you don’t need to worry about paying the bills.”
“Yeah.” I slipped into the water and sighed as the warm water soothed my breasts. “He’s working nights too; did you know that?”
“He is?” Vanessa sounded surprised. “Why?”
“I don’t know, and I didn’t ask. I’m trying not to talk to him.”
“Valid.”
We talked for a while longer, until my eyelids grew heavy and I had to end the call.
I washed myself, noticing my changing body as I did. It was exciting, growing a human in your belly.
But I wished I could share it with the father.
God, I hated Victor Rossi.