Chapter 40
LILA
“The food smells so good; thank you for inviting me,” I told Bianci as she fussed in the kitchen, stirring multiple pots. Scents of garlic and tomato filled the air, pots bubbling on the stove.
Vanessa grinned.
“Mama loves cooking, you know this.”
“Don’t thank me like you’re a stranger, Lila,” Bianci chastised, shooting me a frown. “You’re family.”
My cheeks warmed at her words, and I sipped my iced tea. “Still, I appreciate it. Thank you.”
“Things haven’t been easy, but the baby is a sign of positive things coming your way, Lila. Becoming a mother is a great gift to any woman.”
“Except for the nausea,” I quipped.
“Ginger, your mother told you this. I know because we speak!”
Vanessa and I giggled at her tone, like she thought we were still kids.
I wish we were sometimes.
“Are you excited for the scan?” Vanessa asked, jumping up to help her mother dish up.
In the Rossi house, there were multiple plates of food.
The table was filled with garlic bread, olives, and mozzarella.
There was a big salad only Bianci seemed to touch.
First up was pasta, then came the meat, then the heavenly dessert.
I could already see the cheesecake resting on the side, and I was here for it.
“I am,” I said, lifting a slice of garlic bread to my mouth. I groaned as the garlic hit my tastebuds. I was ravenous.
“Victor is going too, isn’t he?” Bianci placed a big pot of steaming pasta on the table, glancing at me with the same brown eyes as her son.
“Yes,” I replied quietly. I swallowed my garlic bread and reached for my glass.
“How is it now he’s home?” Bianci watched Vanessa place the tomato sauce beside the pasta, nodding her approval.
How is it? How do I answer that? It was heartbreaking.
“Strange,” I commented with a frown as Vanessa bowed her head.
Shit, Bianci always said Grace before we ate, and I’d already nabbed a garlic bread slice.
I bowed my head as Bianci cleared her throat.
“Lord, thank you for bringing us together tonight. Watch over this family, especially the baby, and keep everyone safe and healthy.” Her voice wobbled when she said baby, and Vanessa reached out for her.
“Amen,” Vanessa and I said in unison.
Bianci clapped her hands together and pushed the pasta toward me.
“Guests first.”
I heaped the pasta onto my plate, the three empty chairs at the dining table judging me silently. Even though Bianci lived alone, there were six chairs.
One in particular bugged me, because Victor always sat beside me.
I avoided looking at it and instead focused on the meal, listening to Bianci and Vanessa discussing baby names.
“Luca is a strong boy's name,” Bianci remarked, twirling her pasta around her fork.
“But it’s a girl,” Vanessa argued. “Valentina.”
“Stupid girl, you do not know the sex!” Bianci rolled her eyes
Vanessa snorted, reaching for her wine. “I’ve got a fifty percent chance of being right.”
“They're both nice names,” I said, trying to keep the peace. Truthfully, I hadn’t thought of names. But a name was important. Maybe I needed to give it some thought, even though it was still early days.
“Victor was a big baby,” Bianci said. “They used scissors to cut me.”
“Mom,” Vanessa wailed. “We’re at the dinner table!”
“So? We’re all women here, nothing is off topic. We are the stronger sex, remember? We aren’t squeamish.”
I chewed on my food, wondering if Bianci would ever give me the recipe for her secret sauce. Even Vanessa didn’t know it.
“Has Victor mentioned any names?” Bianci asked as Vanessa shot her a look. “What?”
“They’re not exactly best friends, Mama.”
“No, but they’re going to be parents. Things like this will need to be discussed.”
“Nah, Lila gets to choose. Fuck him.”
“Language! That’s your brother you’re talking about. He may not be here, but you need to show respect.” Bianci’s eyes flashed, and mine widened.
Bianci seemed more protective over Victor than usual, and it made feel uncomfortable. He should be here instead of me. This was his family first.
“I won’t show respect to the schmuck who cheated on my best friend.”
Bianci pointed her fork at Vanessa. “He is still your brother. You’ve given him enough to think about without continuing your tirade of hatred. You can’t change the past now. He’s going to be a father.”
“As long as he doesn’t get to choose the name,” Vanessa said with a huff. “Dick.”
“Vanessa…” Bianci warned, and I subtly shook my head at Vanessa, pleading with her.
Don’t antagonise her.
“He’s working nights,” Vanessa mentioned in an attempt to be civil toward her brother. “So, he’s bringing in money at least.”
“Nights?” Bianci frowned, her fork hovering above her plate. “In addition to his day job?”
I stared at my plate and pushed the pasta around. I felt guilty, like he was doing it for me.
Which I guessed he was.
“Yeah, that’s what Lila said.”
Both sets of eyes focused on me.
“Yes. He’s working in security.”
“How does he have the time for a night job and a day job?” Bianci demanded. “Does he even sleep?”
I hadn’t thought about that. He didn’t work at the building site on the weekend anymore, so maybe he could sleep in the day then.
“Maybe he only works weekends at the night job,” Vanessa said, shovelling pasta into her mouth and washing it down with red wine.
“Maybe,” I murmured. “I think he’s coming down with something.”
Vanessa blinked. “Why do you care?”
Bianci shot her a look of exasperation. “Because she was married to him for many years. You don’t just switch off caring for someone.”
She was right. I did still care about him—it was an active effort to not look after him.
“Will you take him some food?” Bianci asked me. “Please?”
“Of course,” I mumbled.
“He’s probably sick because he’s run down. All this stress…” Bianci tutted. “Working all the time, none of it will be helping his immune system.”
“Who cares?” Vanessa sang. “He deserves the flu. It’s the least he deserves.”
Bianci gritted her teeth and turned to Vanessa, so I jumped in.
“I’ll bring you the scan images to see next weekend, if you like?”
Bianci turned back to me, her eyes shining. “Oh, that would be lovely. Thank you my darling. We didn’t get a scan with Victor. They just handed me a perfect little bundle with too much dark hair. I blame the hair for the indigestion.”
I smiled, but my heart cracked at the thought of a baby Victor, innocent and beautiful. I’d fallen in love with him so hard I’d nearly broken when he’d hurt me.
Somehow though, I was still here.
“I can’t imagine Victor as a baby.” Vanessa tilted her head. “I mean, I’ve seen photos, but you know what I mean.”
“Ah, he was beautiful. But stubborn! Even as a baby. That never did change.” Bianci met my eyes. “Even as a toddler, he was determined. He carried things that were too heavy, and when you came along Vanessa, he was the typical protective older brother.”
Vanessa looked away, twirling the wine glass between her fingers.
“He’s security conscious too,” I said suddenly, surprising myself.
“His father was the same. Always triple checking the locks and driving me mad.”
I laughed. “Did his father work a lot too?”
Bianci’s eyes misted over. “Every hour the good Lord sent. He was a worker first, a husband and father second.”
“Sounds tough.” I watched as Bianci shrugged.
“It was just the way of it back then. The men worked and we stayed home with the baby. Now women are expected to bounce back after having a baby and work. It’s crazy.”
The conversation moved away from the topic of Victor, thank god, and soon we were clearing the table.
“I’ve made enough for a few meals for you both,” Bianci stated as she prepared boxes of leftover food for me to take home. She wrapped garlic bread in foil, placing it all in a bag before waving at the door. “I’ll carry it to your car.”
You didn’t argue with Bianci Rossi, so I hugged Vanessa and headed to my car.
“You know, I pray every night that you two find your way back to each other,” Bianci admitted softly.
I froze, turning to see my mother-in-law staring at the ground.
Jesus Christ, she did? Why?
A lump formed in my throat as she reached for me.
“I love you. Both of you.” Her eyes fell to my stomach, and she smiled even though her eyes were shining with tears. “All three of you.”
“Bianci…” The words got stuck in my throat as she reached out and cupped my cheek.
“I know. I’m a silly old fool who wants a fairytale ending. But sometimes, even my husband fucked up. We’re human; it’s the way we handle it that matters.”
I stared at her.
Was she saying he’d cheated on her?
I couldn’t ask her that. I couldn’t. Emotion clawed at my throat as I took her hand.
“I’m sorry,” I said because that was all I could say.
She nodded, and tears slipped down her cheeks. “Tell Victor I love him.”
“I will.” My eyes blurred with tears as I took the carrier bag of food from her. “Thank you for dinner.”
“Anytime. Keep eating, you’re too skinny.” She said the last bit as she scrubbed at her cheeks with the heel of her hand.
I had to look away; to pretend I hadn’t seen that. It hurt too much.
“Love you,” she called just before I closed the door, and I blew her a kiss back.
Reason three million and one that I wanted to kill Victor, because an affair didn’t just destroy the marriage. It destroyed everyone around it too.