Chapter 46
LILA
The week passed quickly—too quickly in my opinion. Victor was around most evenings, acting like a kid who’d lost his favourite toy.
Well, good. Maybe I should fuck Graham and send him a video.
Victor would probably die. He couldn’t handle that—me with another man. He had always loved the fact I had only ever been with him.
Ha.
As my body changed, so did my libido. I’d gone from hating the idea of sex to being permanently craving it. I’d been pleasuring myself, but Jesus fuck, what I wouldn’t do to have someone inside me, making me feel good.
My body craved Victor. It always did, but I told myself that’s because he was all I knew.
However, I wasn’t about to hop into bed with just anyone, not when I was pregnant.
God, if only I could detach myself from reality and let him fuck me.
Just sex, just once. To scratch the itch that wouldn’t leave me alone.
But I wouldn’t give him the pleasure. The thought of him touching me after seeing him with her—no. It made me shudder.
So here I was, thinking about how unfortunate it was that I couldn’t fuck my ex-husband, while getting ready to see Graham.
The weather had grown colder now, but I’d still opted for a dress that hugged my curves in the right places but was soft around my belly.
It was a new piece I’d picked up especially for tonight—I didn’t want to go in maternity pants, which I’d been living in for weeks now.
I pulled on my coat and boots, admiring my reflection for once in a long time.
Pregnancy suited me, I thought, with my glowing cheeks and renewed energy since the placenta had finally formed.
The nausea had subsided, thank god. I’d curled my dark hair at the ends and applied a bit of eye shadow and lashings of mascara.
I swiped gloss onto my lips, screwing on the cap as the doorbell rang.
Yes. The doorbell.
I waited with bated breath as Victor opened the door, closing my eyes as I revelled in his disbelief.
“Can I help you?”
Oh, Victor. I’d already told him my date was picking me up—he didn’t need to play the oblivious card. I grabbed my purse, and with one final look in the mirror, I headed downstairs.
“Good evening. I’m here to pick up Lila.” Graham said smoothly, not an ounce of fear in his voice.
Victor wasn’t as intimidating as he used to be since the break-up, but he was still a decent-sized man. His shoulders tensed as I approached, his knuckles white on the door.
Graham wore a crisp white shirt and navy chinos, his Rolex glinting beneath the porch light. His eyes swept over me, and he gave me a crooked smile. A sleek black car waited at the end of the drive.
“Here she is.”
“Lila, please,” Victor whispered as I passed him. “Don’t.”
“You look dashing!” I said with a giggle, ignoring Victor who looked like he was going to be sick or kill someone—or both.
“You look beautiful, as always.” Graham lifted my hand to his lips; his gaze locked on mine.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, and it was nothing to do with the baby.
“Lila.” Victor was more urgent now.
Graham glanced at me, then at Victor. “Is everything okay?”
I sighed and finally met Victor’s eyes, if only to bask in their pain.
I wasn’t disappointed. He’d paled, his brown eyes dull and defeated. His eye was twitching—something that told me he was close to losing it.
“Please,” he whispered, his eyes locked on me.
“Don’t wait up,” I told him, turning back to Graham. “Shall we?”
Graham nodded at Victor, more of a cursory goodbye than anything else. Then we walked to his car, his hand resting on the base of my back.
My heart was thundering in my chest, wondering what Victor would do next when—
“Lila, please. Baby, I’m sorry. Don’t—” His voice cracked. “Please don’t go out with him.”
Graham stopped and I turned to see Victor stomping halfway down the driveway, scowling.
“I know I hurt you. I’m so fucking sorry. But this?” He waved a hand at Graham. “Isn’t going to make you feel better. He isn’t me, baby.”
I studied him as Graham sighed.
“I know he isn’t you. That’s exactly why I’m going.
Now, leave me alone.” I turned to the passenger door, which Graham held open for me, gazing at Victor, who looked like he was about to cry or break down.
I stared straight ahead as Graham walked around to the front of the car, sliding in beside me.
His cologne tickled my nostrils, reminding me of hot Greek nights beneath the stars.
“Are you alright?” he asked, starting the car. It purred beneath him as it slid away from the drive, leaving Victor staring after us like a broken man.
“I’m fine,” I replied shakily, clipping in my belt. “It’s expected.”
“It’s so good to see you,” Graham said, flashing me a pearly white smile. “Pregnancy suits you.”
I grinned. “Thank you.”
“How is everything going with the baby?”
Graham seemed genuinely interested as I told him how I’d been feeling better, but I left out the raging libido. He kept gazing at me, like I was something rare. Like he was hungry for me.
I didn’t know what to do with that. So instead, I answered his questions and asked why he was here.
“I had some business on the east coast.”
My brows flew up. “That’s quite a way from here.”
He gave me a lazy grin. “I’d fly around the world to see you again, Lila.”
The butterflies went crazy again. My cheeks flushed and I looked away, unable to contain my smile.
“I’m very flattered,” I responded quietly.
“You look like you need a night away from that house, if you don’t mind me saying.”
“I don’t mind at all. It’s not easy living with your soon to be ex-husband.”
“I can imagine. He looks like he’s paying quite the price for losing you though. He’s a good-looking man, but I’m sure he’s looked better.”
My mind drifted to Victor, how he had lost weight and his world, pretty much. But he was still beautiful. He’d always been beautiful.
My heart ached. Memories of us driving to restaurants like this, our hands entwined. How he’d look at me like there was no one else in the world.
How he’d ruined us.
“Anyway, let’s not talk about that tonight,” I insisted, refusing to let him dampen the evening. “Where are we going?”
Graham grinned. “I found a local Greek restaurant. I hope that’s alright?”
I smiled, ignoring the way my stomach dropped. I knew the one. Victor and I had gone there for our anniversary.
“Emilios?”
Graham looked pleased. “Yes, do you know it?”
Intimately. We’d gotten drunk on ouzo and ended up making love in the car before driving home and continuing on the kitchen counter.
Then the bedroom.
Focus, Lila.
“Ah. That look tells me you do. Shall we go somewhere else?”
I frowned and shook my head.
“No, tonight I’m creating new memories.”