7. Chapter 7
Veronica
Berenice invited me to her place for dinner to apologize for not answering my call a couple of days ago.
No apology necessary; I know I’d have managed to find trouble one way or another, with or without her.
I’ve been on edge since that night. What if someone else had opened the letter?
What if they sent it to someone else besides me?
I’m driving myself out of my mind. There was no return address and no extortion letter.
Whoever did this is trying to fuck with me, and it’s working.
“I hope you’re hungry.” Berenice’s voice brings me out of my spiraling thoughts. I’m really not, but I don’t tell her that. I don’t have much of an appetite, well, except for the dessert I baked. I made her favorite for tonight.
“I can’t wait,” I lie. “I brought brownies with ice cream. How does that sound?” I see my friend light up because I know for a fact it’s one of her favorite desserts.
I look at Berenice; even though we’re the same age, she looks much younger than me.
We are what some call full-figured, but we say curvy.
Although I feign confidence in my body, I know she is confident in hers.
She loves to wear clothes that accentuate her figure.
Unlike me, Bere has never hyperfixated on what she eats.
I count every calorie; that’s why I save all mine for the sweets.
“Hey, Bere, do you remember when we first met?”
“Oh god, yes. How could I forget? I was the new girl at school. Where it was obvious I didn’t belong.”
“You belonged,” I tell her as I carry our dinner plates to the living room. We are getting ready to watch one of our favorite chick flicks.
“Vee, I totally didn’t belong. Not only was I the new, chubby girl in school, but I was also the charity case. I was at school on a scholarship.” She looks down at her plate. “You were the only one who ever showed me any kindness.”
I remember when she first arrived at the coed boarding school.
It was our senior year, and everyone thought it was odd to transfer with only one year remaining, but we didn’t ask questions.
I felt sorry for her and thought that she was unhappy because of the way she looked, but when I got to know her, I realized I was so wrong.
Her unhappiness stems from something much deeper.
Something I could never understand—abandonment.
After graduating, she headed to college and got her degree in social services.
While I took a year off and then dropped out after freshman year.
We always kept in touch during her college days and my partying.
“Whatever happened to that guy you met the summer after high school?”
Her question catches me off guard. “Which one?” I ask, but I know who she’s referring to because I only seriously dated one person. I was in love and wanted everyone to know. I was so stupid.
“Tony something or other.”
I don’t want to say his name. It’s like speaking him into existence. “Oh, that guy,” I say nonchalantly. “I don’t know. After we broke up, we lost contact.”
“He was such an asshole. I remember all the shit he put you through.”
I recoil at the memories. She doesn’t know half of it. “Yeah, he was.”
She must notice my uneasiness with the conversation, so we move on, but the front door opens and shuts. We turn in the direction to see her roommate, Abel, come into view. He heads straight to the kitchen and makes himself a plate of food, then joins us in the small living room.
“Hey, bitches!”
“Hi, Abel.” He sets his food on the side table, then comes to me and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which lasts a little too long. That’s how Abel is; he always has the charm dialed up.
Bere turns to him. “You better go take a shower; you reek of sex and bad decisions.”
“I know; doesn’t it smell amazing? Maybe you should give it a try.” He bites back.
I laugh. “Well, Bere, he could smell worse. Plus, he does work at a sex club,” I remind her, because he has no qualms about sharing.
She looks at him. “Abel, you’re a waiter; it’s not like you’re being a top or a bottom.”
“For your information, sometimes I top, and sometimes I bottom. You would know more about sex if you had it.” He throws back. Even I think that was too much.
“Hey, there is no sex shaming here,” I shout in his direction.
I know that Berenice has always been on the conservative side of sex. It has to do with her upbringing, which she’s working so hard to move away from.
“Fuck, you’re right. I’m sorry, Bere.” He moves close to her and wraps an arm around her.
She nods with a sniffle. “I know I’m a prude about sex, but I’m working on it.”
Abel hugs her. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m just being cocky.
I should know better.” He gives her a kiss on the forehead and directs his attention to me.
“What about you, Veronica? Maybe you should come to the club and help me drag this one out.” He squeezes Bere and uses his free hand to start eating.
“I keep inviting her, but she turns me down every time.”
“No, thank you. I’m trying to steer clear of trouble.” I think about a couple of days ago. I’m still trying to piece together what happened at the club. I should know better than to mix pills and alcohol.
He brings me out of my thoughts. “Well, I’m going to go take a shower. I have a date with a fucking god.” He finishes his last bite of food. “I think I’ll top tonight.” Bere rolls her eyes at him.
I can’t remember the last time I had sex. Fuck, I need to get laid. As soon as he leaves to get ready, I turn to Bere. “He’s invited me to the club, but I’m too nervous to go,” she admits.
I know I shouldn’t say what I’m about to, given that I’m trying to stay out of trouble, but when have I learned? “Well, tell me when, and I’ll go with you. It may be the only way to get laid without anyone finding out.”
“Deal.”
Sitting here, pretending to watch the movie, all I can think about is the photograph.
There is only one person who had access to those photos.
It’s the same person who took them. The one man who I obeyed completely.
The man who, one minute, made me feel cherished, and the next, disregarded me, but like a fool, I always went back to him.
That went on for over a year. And as a result, I walked away with a lifetime of trauma.
I look at Berenice. Out of all my friends, she’s the one who stuck around.
She doesn’t party; she doesn’t come from wealth.
We are opposites, but nevertheless, I know I can call her when I need someone to talk to.
She doesn’t know how far I went for Tony.
She was in college, and I never wanted to burden her with the details, not like Tabitha, who hasn’t responded to me in months.
When I was in Miami for my birthday, I thought about stopping by her place, but I was caught up with my party. Fuck, I’m so selfish.
“Hey, Bere.” She turns and looks at me.
“Am I a bad friend?” I ask her because she would never lie to me.
“Well, you can be selfish; we all can. What matters is that you’ve been a good friend to me.
” I can see she wants to say more. “I worry about you. All the partying, the drinking, and the occasional drug use.” She holds my hand tightly, and it grounds me.
“Just be careful. All that can catch up to you.”
I know she’s right. I need to start doing better. She pulls me into a hug, and I hug her back. I didn’t know how much I needed this. The rest of the night, we spend cuddled up and laughing. I know she needed this as much as I did.
On my way home, I look out at Veridian Bay.
It’s a beautiful city; it’s my home. As much as I try to run, it will always be home.
I need to start creating a life of my own here.
I pull out my phone and text the person who will understand me.
I enter my apartment and head straight to my window.
There, I greet my babies and tell them all about my time at Bere’s.
Then, it’s straight to my bedroom, but I’m restless.
The mention of his name tonight brings back memories, and those memories are accompanied by shame.
The shame of how I let one person control me.
Control my body. After what seems like an eternity of tossing and turning, I finally fall asleep.
My doorbell rings. I open my eyes and look at my clock.
Shit, it’s only seven in the morning; who the hell is at my door so early and on a Sunday?
I didn’t drink last night, so I can get out of bed fast. I drag myself to the door in my tiny shorts and tank top.
I don’t bother looking through the peephole.
If someone is planning to come after me, they aren’t going to ring the doorbell.
I open the door and see Serena. She’s wearing a very sporty outfit and looks like she’s ready for a marathon.
“Time to wake up and get ready?” she says as she enters my apartment. I see two cups in her hands and hope to god one is for me.
“Good morning. Please tell me that is for me.” I motion to the cup in her hand.
“Yes, it’s to wake you up. Then you need to get ready. We have somewhere to be.”
“Yes, bed,” I mutter, still half asleep.
She laughs. “Nice try. You have twenty minutes to change into something more athletic,” she tells me as she hands me the coffee. “I’d get going if I were you. I don’t like to be late, and believe me, you don’t want to be late for this.” That’s ominous.
I yawn. “You’re bossy, you know.”
“I know. Now go get ready,” she orders
When I asked Serena to hang out so we could talk, this was not what I had in mind.
We enter Nina’s kickboxing gym. It’s actually very close to my apartment, but we were late, so after my attempt to warm up, Nina made us run a couple of laps.
If you’re on time, you’re late, and if you’re late, you’re fucked.
Well, that should be the motto when it comes to Nina as your instructor.
“You know, some heads up would have been nice,” I say in between breaths. Fuck, I am so out of shape.
“You wouldn’t have come if I told you.”
She’s right. My only workout consists of dancing at the club and walking on my treadmill. This shit is intense. “You’re probably right.” She looks at me, and it’s intimidating. “Okay, you are one hundred percent right.”
Nina approaches us. She scares me. “Are you ready?”
“No,” Serena and I say in unison.
I didn’t even make it thirty minutes. Not only can I not feel my legs, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass out.
I sit and watch Serena and Nina spar. They are both badasses.
It’s obvious they’ve trained together for a long time.
Neither relents, so after a while, they both concede and make their way to me.
“How are you holding up, Veronica?” Nina asks.
“I’m barely alive.” I’m only half joking. Nina laughs. “You should come back. It would be good for you.” I look between them.
My insecurities begin to creep in. My body—she must be referring to my body.
“I use it to relieve stress,” Serena admits. “It’s also a good way to learn how to defend yourself, especially seeing as you’re living alone.” She grabs her water. “You can also hold your own against nosy brothers and cousins.” She smiles. I exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Yes, because fuck those guys,” Nina shouts. “I don’t even know them that well, but damn, they look intense.”
“Yes.” My voice comes out low. I can’t believe I’m going to admit this. “I thought you meant because of my body?” Nina and Serena look at each other.
“What about your body?” Nina asks.
“Nothing, it’s dumb.” I hesitate, but they don’t push. I don’t usually admit this to others. “When people look at me, they expect me to be a size two, blue-eyed, blonde bombshell. My mind just goes to the negative.”
“Vee.” Serena moves next to me. “Fuck them, and for your information, you are a blue-eyed, blonde bombshell.”
“If I wasn’t happily married, I’d be all over you,” Nina whispers, for only us to hear.
I can’t help the abrupt laugh that comes out of me. Nina grabs my shoulder and motions for me to face her. “Veronica, everyone is going to have an opinion about you. Look at me and Annie. We are happily married, but that doesn’t mean everyone is rooting for us. So, try to block out the noise.”
“It’s just so hard being a Kayde,” I admit. “The pressure to be someone.”
“Vee.” I can hear the emotion in Serena’s voice. “You are someone. You are more than a Kayde.” She wraps her arms around me. When she pulls away, I see tears running down her face.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, you didn’t.” She uses her long-sleeved shirt to wipe away the tears.
“It’s just that…well…I hate that you feel this way about yourself.
I know what it’s like trying to fit into someone’s expectations.
” She closes her eyes. When she opens them, I see a resolve in her.
“Be the version of yourself you can be proud of when you look in the mirror.”
“That’s why I wanted to meet with you.”
“Oh.”
“My class is starting soon,” Nina says. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” She heads to the equipment area, while Serena and I gather our things and head to the exit.
She pulls out her phone. “Sorry, your brother and I are leaving for our trip, and I’m just making sure everything is taken care of.” We take a seat on a bench outside the gym. “What’s going on?”
I play with a strand of hair. “I want to get a job, but I have no experience at all. I was wondering if you could help. Maybe you need some extra help at your office?” I close my eyes, waiting for her to laugh at me, but there’s nothing. I open them, and she’s just staring at me, smiling.
“Well, I don’t have anything at the moment, but I can check if the foundation needs any help. Do you have any experience?”
“Not unless you want someone who knows how to throw a good party?” I joke, but it doesn’t land the punch.
I know that coming to Serena is the best option.
Not only is she a successful businesswoman, being the Vice President of Kayde Investments, but she also helped start a nonprofit organization with Nina. If anyone can help, it will be her.
“Vee, I doubt that’s the extent of your skills. Don’t sell yourself short. I’m leaving tomorrow, so let’s go back inside and talk to Nina about you helping. She runs more of the operations.”
“You don’t have to do that, Serena.”
“Oh, I know.” She grabs my hand and leads me back inside.
We make our way to Nina, who is setting up for her next class.
After making a quick call, I’m added as a volunteer, starting next week.
Elated, I give both women a hug. Nina has to tend to her class, so Serena and I head out.
Gus, Serena’s driver, insists on taking me home, and considering my legs still feel like jelly, I take his offer.