Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
M att had been wrong. He’d thought lying in bed with Scarlet in his arms after making love for the first time was the most content he would ever be.
Nope. It was this . It was waking up with her snuggled into his side after a full night of not only savoring her body, but being entrusted with her secrets. This was the most content, the happiest, and the most at peace he’d ever be. Surely.
Glancing at the clock, he saw it was just before five. He should get out of bed and go for a run. Instead, he buried his face in Scarlet’s hair and inhaled. Running was off the table this morning. He’d rather lie here with her for the next hour and enjoy this moment. Enjoy her.
Trailing his hand over her arm, gently so as not to wake her, he stared at the ceiling and grinned. He wanted to pinch himself, not quite believing that this, that she was real. That they were going to give this a shot.
Oh, who the hell was he kidding? He wasn’t giving this a shot. He was all in. Completely.
And yet... doubts lingered in the back of his head. With his history, how could they not?
Matt was terrified that she would change her mind. That after a few weeks, months, years, or even longer, she’d decide he wasn’t what she wanted after all. He knew there were no guarantees in life, but the mere thought of that possibility gutted him, hollowed him out in the most devastating way.
He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t lose Daisy. They’d quickly become his world.
“Good morning,” Scarlet said, her voice raspy. “What time is it?”
Glancing down, Matt met the most beautiful pair of brown eyes. She’d pulled one of his T-shirts on before bed last night, and yeaaah... Seeing his woman in only his shirt, with that sleepy gaze and rumpled hair, made his cock twitch. He kissed the top of her head. “It’s not even five. Go back to sleep. You have another hour.”
“Are you going for a run?” she asked, toying with the hairs on his chest.
“I think I’ll skip today.”
Her head lifted off his shoulder, and she looked at him in obvious surprise.
He let out a quiet chuckle. “What can I say? I’m comfortable.”
“Me too,” she said with a soft grin, lying back down. She resumed caressing his chest, then paused at the top of his right pec.
Matt went absolutely still as she touched his most recent scar—a raised circular mark. From the bullet he’d taken.
“Does this hurt?” she asked.
Remembering to breathe, he shook his head. “No. You know, funny enough, I’d kinda forgotten about it.”
For so damn long, he’d been consumed by his injury. Not so much the actual bullet through his chest, because even now, he’d take a bullet for his brother any day of the week. Rather, he’d been consumed by the aftermath of the shooting. The implosion of his marriage. His subsequent divorce. Leaving the force.
Recently, however, he hadn’t given any of those things much thought. He could say it was because he’d started working with Hudson Security. That reason held a small grain of truth. But the fact was, his thoughts and emotions were now consumed by Scarlet and a tiny little four-year-old. Both ladies had stolen his heart and mind.
“Can I ask what happened?”
He tugged her closer until she lay half on top of him. “You can ask me anything, sweetheart,” he said against her forehead. “In a nutshell, it was a case of mistaken identity.”
Scarlet tipped her face toward him, and questions swirled in her brown eyes.
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and eased her head back to his chest. “My sister-in-law, Carmen, had this sick fucker who was stalking her. She and I were walking to get some food, and the asshole shot me, thinking I was my brother.”
Scarlet gasped. “Oh, Matt . . .”
“I’m okay.” Now.
Her fingers still lingered over the scar, so he covered her hand with his, flattening her palm to his chest. Not because he wanted her to stop touching it, but because he wanted to feel her entire hand on his skin. “The guy shot me in the back and the bullet exited here. I’m just so damn thankful that Carm was standing next to me and not in front of me, or else it would have hit her, too.”
She pulled free from his grasp and wrapped her arm around him. Squeezing, she asked, “Do you promise you’re okay?”
God, this sweet woman . . .
“I promise, Scar.”
After holding him for another moment, she loosened her grip and propped her chin on his chest once more. “Your brother and sister-in-law are okay, too?”
Recalling everything that had transpired with Jake and Carmen, Matt sobered. He’d been so damn helpless.
“Yeah. They’re good now. Granted, they went through hell, but they came out on top. They were instrumental in my recovery, actually. I wasn’t in a good place after all that, but they were both there for me.”
“Talk to me,” she whispered, caressing the side of his face.
Matt leaned into her touch. This woman had trusted him with the dark secrets of her past. The least he could do was trust her with his own. And to his surprise, he wanted to share this part of himself with her, even though he’d never told another soul. Not his brother, not Cade, not his department-assigned therapist... No one.
He moved Scarlet fully on top of him, spreading his legs so she could settle comfortably between them. She tucked her head under his chin, and he pulled the sheets over them before wrapping his arms around her.
“I’m not sure where to start,” he admitted. Taking a deep breath in, he took comfort from Scarlet’s hand tracing gently back and forth along his rib cage. “I guess... Long before I was shot, things hadn’t been going well in my marriage. When Krista and I got married, I’d already been a detective for a couple years, but I was still the newest one in the department and out to prove myself. Things were fine for a while.”
Until they weren’t.
“I don’t know,” he continued as Scarlet remained silent. Her steady touch kept him grounded, let him know she was still there and listening. “I could play the blame game, but with hindsight, I know I wasn’t faultless. I put my job before her a lot. I worked really late hours, and that wasn’t fair to her. For the last nine or ten months of our marriage, we were in couple’s therapy, and it looked like we could maybe work things out, but then... I got shot.”
Matt remembered waking up in the hospital and being flooded with panic about Jake and Carmen. And then he remembered the agonizing pain. The difficulty breathing. The concern on Krista’s tear-streaked face.
“When I came to at the hospital, Krista was there. She was obviously upset and scared. She told me I had to keep fighting. I had to get better. For her. For us. For our baby.”
Scarlet gasped. She lifted her head off his chest, and her surprised eyes locked with his.
Unable to hold her gaze, he looked at the ceiling and swallowed past the boulder in his throat. “I remember being so fucking happy. So goddamn thrilled. She and I had talked about having kids someday, but the pregnancy was a surprise. The best fucking surprise...” His voice grew hoarse, but he continued, “I wasn’t out of the woods yet, and I’d gotten a nasty infection. I drifted in and out for a couple more days. When I woke up again, I was still in the ICU, but things were clearer. I remembered exactly what Krista had said. We were having a baby, but...”
He screwed his eyes shut. The grief was a tangible pain in his chest, like someone had reached through his ribs and yanked out his fucking heart. He ground his teeth together until his mouth ached and a low growl left his throat.
Warm hands cupped his face. Soft lips pressed gently against his.
“Breathe, baby,” Scarlet whispered into his ear. “Breathe. I’m here.”
He hugged her tighter. It took two tries, but he finally managed to say, “The baby wasn’t mine.”
Scarlet pulled away, and again, her hands framed his face. “What do you mean?”
Whether it was the scent of her floral shampoo, her comforting touch, or having finally said the words out loud, he felt steadier. But his heart was still broken over something that had never been his.
“When I came to and looked at Krista, I realized I wasn’t the father. I couldn’t have been. She and I hadn’t been intimately involved for at least six months. And there was no way she was that far along.” Their confrontation replayed in his mind. His yelling, their tears, her denial... “She insisted the baby was mine, but I knew she was lying. I had the hospital staff bar her from seeing me. Hell, I basically tried to have everyone barred from seeing me.”
He let out a bitter chuckle. “The next day, my old partner came to visit. Even though Davidson and I didn’t work together anymore, we were still close. We still hung out. He was one of my closest friends. But he came to apologize. Said it was a lapse in judgement. That he’d never intended to get involved with Krista and that it was all a mistake. Like anything he said would make any of it better.”
Disappointment sat like a sour rock in his gut.
“Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry.” Scarlet scooted up his body and placed a tender kiss on his cheek.
“To this day, I still don’t know what hurt more—my wife cheating with my friend or my friend cheating with my wife.”
“Neither one of them deserved you.”
The corners of his lips tipped up at her fierce declaration. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“I’m serious, Matt,” she said, capturing his gaze. “You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You’re kind and honorable and loyal. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that and lied to. They are assholes and you’re a million times better off without them in your life. Good riddance.”
His heart warmed at her words, and he stretched up to kiss her. “Thank you.”
Scarlet ran a finger along his jaw and stared at him for a moment. “You know I trust you with Daisy, right?”
His breath caught.
“Daisy’s the most important person in my life, and I trust you with her. I know that you’ll protect her and look out for her. That you’ll always try to do what’s best for her.”
“Scar...” He was speechless. Holding her face in his hands, he kissed her lips. She didn’t realize she’d just given him the greatest gift. “I swear to you, I will protect that wonderful little girl with my life. You and Daisy... You two... I just...”
He closed his eyes. Honest, Alvarez. Be honest.
When he’d collected himself enough to meet her gaze, the hope staring back at him had all the tension draining from his body. “Scarlet, sweetheart, I didn’t know you were missing from my life. And now that you’re here—both you and Daisy—I don’t want to let you go. Ever.”
“You don’t have to let us go. Ever,” she whispered, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She glanced at the clock and smiled. “We still have some time before I need to officially be up. Will you let me make love to you?”
Every cell in his body shot to attention, and his blood surged south. But he shook his head. “Baby, you don’t need?—”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “You made me feel amazing and cared for and loved last night. I want to do the same for you. Let me?”
God, this woman slayed him. Unable to resist, he pulled her in for another kiss. “I’m all yours, sweetheart. All yours.”