Shattered to Be His

13| First Night.

"And when he looks at me, I swear I can't breathe"

I hide my face in his chest and curl myself in his arms as he heads towards the room, holding me in his arms. I'm feeling too exhausted to think or do anything.

I wish somehow I could erase this very day from my life, somehow I could forget everything happened today.

But the truth is, this somehow is a reality which is sucking my existence to the core.

I'm just a mess for now, a broken mess without any scope of peace. The two men whom I love the most and who love me more than I will ever be able to, they hid the biggest reality of my life from me. And the most hurting part is, I got to know the reality from someone else.

After reaching the room, he makes me sit in bed and went towards the closet. I sit still, didn't glance at him once. I fold my legs to the chest and hide my face in my knees, trying to find the patience hanging in the thin air.

"Get on your knees and undress"

Shivers wrack through my body as I hear his voice, I lift my head to look at him who's now standing just a few inches away from me, I didn't realise when he came out of the closet. My heart races and adrenaline surges as I feel his devouring eyes on me.

"Are you going to force me?" I ask, my tone laces emptiness as I breathe. He takes a step towards me, making my lips part with amusement and nervousness.

After reaching me, he grabs my face in his hand roughly and brings his face close to mine, he whispers "I will make you crave me." His voice shadowed with desire and anticipation. Hearing his words, goosebumps hover over my body like a fabric.

He grabs my waist and makes me stand on my knees in bed, his hands after taking off my jewellery, move ahead to open the knot of my lehenga. I close my eyes and my hands make their way to his shoulder in a tight grip.

My body and mind don't allow any protests at the moment, I stay still and calm.

A gasp leaves my mouth as he slides down my lehenga, his palms trailing against my hip and then upper thighs. My eyes round when his fingers skim beneath the waistband of my underwear.

His hands trace every inch of my skin as he opens my blouse, leaving myself just in innerwear in front of him.

I dig my nails in his shoulders as soon as I feel his warm lips on my pulse point, little above my cleavage.

My racing heartbeat fills the silence around us.

I keep my eyes close, not because of shame but because of the vulnerability washing over my mind.

I know if I'll stop him, he will stop. But I no longer think rationally.

His calloused fingers move on my bare waist, my chest heaving wildly as I feel his eyes devouring me, but I force myself to stay still.

"Open your eyes." He commands, his deep voice barely above a whisper. Sighing, I open my eyes only to meet my gaze with him whose eyes are already glued to mine. His intense gaze sends an electric Jolt down my spine.

He picks his black T-shirt from the bed and makes me wear it, the T- shirt is loose and big enough to cover my thighs comfortably, my eyes filled with confusion remains intact to him and my hands still on his bare chest.

"I will definitely devour you, but when you and your body are ready." He whispers, tilting his head slightly he pecks my lips.

"For now, sleep like a good girl and do not try to pull any stunt which will make me lose my temper and brings pain to you, understand?" He asks, his tone laces superiority.

I didn't react and turn my face. He grabs my face in his hand and turns it back towards him.

"Did you understand, fireheart?" He asks again, this time harshly.

"You can't control me." I snaps at him.

"I will control you from your very existence, and you will behave like my good f'cking girl, won't you?" He murmurs, towering over my head.

I nod my head slightly as I didn't have the strength to argue or anything.

"Words?" His lips are brushing against the shell of my ear.

Psycho.

"I will." I sigh, my voice barely audible.

"Good girl" he pecks my lips before leaving the room.

I take a deep breath and lay in the bed, curling myself in me, my eyes rove over the glass ceiling.

Tears inside them are dried but the ache I'm holding is too much.

My head, my legs and every part of my body hurts.

I glance at the vintage clock, it's 3.49 AM as of now, and the sleep is far away from me.

I turn and bury my face inside the pillow.

It's suffocating, very suffocating. Every breath I'm inhaling feels like a burden to me. I can't stay like this, I just can't.

I need peace or I might die!

And the only place that can provide me with some peace is my studio. Composing myself, I stands up, and went towards the closet. I pick a baby pink tube top and white mini skirt to wear. Leaving my hair open, I make my way downstairs.

Fortunately, there's no one in sight and I didn't even want to face anyone. I head towards the exit and as I reach there, the giant guards holding guns in their hands hinder my way.

"Sorry mam, you are not allowed to step outside the villa." One of them says, they have their heads bowed, acting like an instructed robot.

I take a pause, trying to maintain my composure.

"And who will stop me? I guess you very well know that I'm your boss's wife- Your lady boss, isn't it?" I retort, my tone firm.

"But mam it's too late and the weather is also not good, it is not safe, please understand." This time another one speaks, his voice dripping fear.

"My safety is my concern, now side." I croak, taking a step forward.

"Okay, so we'll come with you." he pleases "We can't leave you alone."

"I'm saying last time, I can take care of my safety by my own, so don't you dare follow me." I move ahead, ignoring them completely.

???

It's been half an hour since I'm driving, those guards were following me through my path, but I somehow got rid of them.

I am driving at the break neck speed as the road ahead is almost empty.

It's already dark and the weather is heavy indicating that it will Burst out in rain storm anytime.

But you can't care less about the situation when your inner chaos is eating you from inside more than anything.

After around 15 minutes, I stop the car in front of my studio, I step out of the car head inside.

Lights are already on as I reach the main hall.

I glance around, this place used to be my peace as bro gifted me this studio on the very first time when I showed interest in the music.

The instruments, the interior and every minor to major thing here is designed by him, that too according to my likings and convenience.

Taking the view of this area, I make my way to my recording room. Picking up my guitar, I sit on the couch and entangle my fingers with the strings after setting the tune. I close my eyes to focus on the notes and move my fingers within the strings.

I am holding the guitar almost after a month but I remember each and every note clearly, still can't focus on it.

"Princess?"

I open my eyes and look at the direction of this voice, where hazel and Ryan is standing, looking at me with amusement. They both manages all the things here and are good friend of mine. They are dating each other for almost two years.

"Call me by my name, hazel." I stand up keeping my guitar aside, and head towards them.

"Are you okay, Tara?" Ryan asks, his tone gentle with concern. "You are looking upset."

"I'm ok, Ryan." I passes him a forced smile.

"We are going to the nearest club, would you like to join us?" He asks again.

"No, not actually. You guys enjoy." I reply, my voice a slow whisper.

"Hey please, Tara! Please it's been a long time since we hung out together." Hazel pleases, holding my hand and looking at me with a convincing manner.

"Hazel, ple-"

"Please, Tara! You'll feel better."

"Fine" I sigh.

???

"Hey, you don't drink! And this one is too strong." Hazel's faint voice reaches me as soon as I pick up the glass of whisky, turning my attention towards both of them.

We are sitting at the same table, near the glass wall giving a tantalizing view of New York City at this late hour.

This place is calm and adorable, but still can't help my chaotic mind.

I even hate the smell of alcohol, but Eventually I decided to drink so that it might help me escape from all this, atleast for some time.

"It's okay" I reply, forcing a faint smile on my face and trying to act normal as much as I can.

I gulp down the whole glass in a single go, and cough leaves my mouth as its bitter and strong taste burns the back of my throat.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asks, I lift my head to look at them. They look pretty together, just like they are made for each other.

I nod my head slightly in response and take another shot, though it is burning my throat, still I drank four shots of the same whiskey back to back.

And finally I realise the intoxication consuming my mind as my vision goes blurry and everything seems strange and fascinating.

Ryan and hazel, sitting in front of me, holding each other's hand and lost in their own world. Pretty, but I can't see them properly. I blink my eyes a few times but it proves to be worthless.

Why are they dancing?

"I- I need to go." My breath stutters as I speak and manage to stand up.

"You are drunk, we are coming with you." Hazel immediately gets up accompanied by Ryan.

"No, I will go myself only. I don't need anyone." My steps falter as I head out of the place. They tried to stop me but I didn't.

Uneasiness washes over my mind as somehow I manage to reach the studio back, cause I didn't know where to go now. I thought intoxication will help me escaping this, but it is making worse. I'm being restless as I move ahead with faltering steps.

Why is all this happening? What did I do to deserve this? I'm tired, very tired. I didn't know where to go and whom to reach, who will understand me.

My husband, he is a bastard! He doesn't love me and even I also don't love him, yet we are tied together.

I Glance around myself, I'm alone, all alone! I need dad and bro. I want to see and hug them, want to ask them to protect me from all this, like they always does. But I can't, I'm helpless.

The worst feeling of your life is when you live your worst nightmare, and I'm feeling the same.

The dried moisture of my eyes burst out in tears once again, just like the clouds crying outside, accompanying me. I'm crying here, I didn't want to cry, but I can't hold it anymore. If I did, It might suffocate me.

I can't pretend to be strong anymore, cause I'm not! Especially today, I feel the weakest person in this earth. Tears sheds through my eyes just like unhinged rainfall happening outside.

I take out my phone to call Alie without thinking anything. She picks within a single ring and I break out in tears "A- Alie, take me from here."

"Hey baby, are you okay? Where are you?" She panics.

"I- I don't know, I don't know anything." I sob, my voice breaking with the dry breath I inhale. "I'm alone, I'm scared, Alie. I'm not feeling well. Just take me out of all this."

"Tara, where are you? At least tell me." She murmurs. "Wait, wherever you are, just be there baby, I'm coming. Okay?"

Suddenly, something comes beneath my feet and I fall on the floor. The phone slips out of my hand and falls somewhere.

???

"You are playing a dangerous game, my boy." Romano standing in front of the glass wall says and turns towards me, his lone laces concern or else I can say- fake concern.

"Dangerous is what attracts me, Uncle." A smirk makes its way on my lips.

"What if the whole underworld goes against you?" He ask, heading towards me.

I take a pause, my smirk deepens as I reply "I don't give a fuck on anything or anyone, until my queen is by my side."

His expressions changes in an instant, from concern to confusion. "How are you so sure that she won't betray you after knowing the truth?"

"That she will be by your side instead of her brother?" He frowns, sitting in front of me.

"She will be by my side, either by consent or by force. And about betrayal, it will end up in death, either her or mine." I say, my voice drips intent and firmness.

"I know you since childhood, son! You can never love anyone. And you are using her just for benefits, right?" He scoffs, tilting his head with amused grin.

"Of course you know me, uncle. You know me very well." I reply, leaning on my chair and pressing the cigar between my lips.

You know me as much as I want you to know me!

"The underworld party which is going to happen within two days is very crucial for us." He murmurs. "Are you involving AJ's sister in all this?"

"She's the part of me, the queen of underworld, so she's already involved in all this." I answer, puffing on my cigar.

"I must say, you are good with words." He smirks and gets up from his chair.

"I'm good at playing with minds too, Uncle." I murmur, putting my cigar into the ashtray.

He turns on the projector and a map flickers on the wall, showing the seven different countries of south Asia. My eyes rove throughout the map.

"The most rarest and precious diamonds, black pearl diamonds will be smuggled within these seven countries, and the shipment will be finalised in this party only."

I shift my gaze from the map to him.

"These shipments will be held under my supervision." I say, my voice is cold and firm.

"This won't be easy, four out of seven routes come in AJ's observation, and in this case, These shipments are almost impossible." He sighs.

"I'll handle." I declare and stand up, taking the file from him, I make my way out to area.

After reaching my car, I take out my phone and anger washes over my mind as soon as I check her location, through the GPS I set in her neptual chain.

she stepped out of the villa even after my warning, and that too at this time and worse weather- Its raining heavily.

Those mother fucker guards, I'll skin them alive if I found a minor scratch on her. Without wasting another second, I get in the car and start it, my jaw clench and eyes flicker out of fury.

"You really love to test my patience, fireheart." Another dark shadow passes through my eyes as I keep pressing the accelerator until the highest speed reaches.

After around eighteen minutes of driving at break neck speed, I stop the car at her current location, in front of her music studio. I step out of the car and make my way inside with impulsive steps.

Reaching inside, I glance around but can't see her. My eyes darken with fury as I move ahead and eventually, my eyes fall in the recording room where she is standing, a girl holding her arm, trying to guide her steps.

Her face is red and wet with moisture, indicating that she's been crying since past few hours. Her lashes bend towards the floor and a slow voice of her sobs reaches me, clenching my heart. I head towards her.

"Remove your f'cking hands from her if you don't want me to rip them off." I warn that girl, grabbing her waist I pull her towards me, Her hands land on my chest.

"You have come?" She lifts her head slightly and glances at me while fluttering her wet lashes. She's drunk, too drunk actually. "Aba, my- my man is here." She turns her head towards that girl, I rub my left brow with my thumb, trying to control the anger evaporating within me.

I hold her hand and heads forward, rage is still running in my veins and I'm controlling it to the fullest. After a few steps, I stop and bend down on my knees, taking off her sandals I lift her in my arms as soon as I realise she isn't comfortable.

"J- just take me off you- you bastard." she murmurs, throwing her legs and hands in my arms. I remain unaffected as I head towards my car.

Reaching my car outside, I take her off. She shivers as soon as the heavy raindrops touches her heated body, soaking both of us as we are standing in the middle of the street at this late hour, the sound of rain drops shedding and lightning consumes the silence around us.

"How dare you step out despite my refusal, hmm?" I ask her, tightening my grip around her waist. Anger sparking my voice and my eyes remain intact to her face.

She looks at me with a mix of confusion and uneasiness, as if trying to figure out what I said. Her wet hairs stick to her body, some strands to her face as she blinks her lashes.

My eyes rove over her body, her wet clothes sticks to her body, revealing her perfect curves to me. I take a deep breath to control myself, how easy is for this woman to make me lose my control.

She's so fine, so beautiful and so mine!

The black shirt I'm wearing sticks to my body completely as she holds my tricep in a tight grip, shivering from the cold rain drops.

My eyes remain intact to her face, tightening my grip over her arm, I ask again "I asked something, fireheart?"

She lifts her head and looks at me.

"I HATE YOU" a slow whisper leaves her mouth. In an instant, she stands on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around my neck, she presses her lips against mine.

(Play 'tum hi ho' by arijit singh)

At the very moment my lips comes into contact with hers, my heart slows and every muscle in my body relaxes. It's just me and her, and the world around us fades away.

Her eyes are close as her thick lashes flutter, while my eyes fixated on her face. I let her s'ck on my lips in a slow kiss for a few more seconds. My one hand holding her sandles, and another wraps around her waist in a tight grip.

I grab her by the throat, making sure that I didn't choke her, I pins her against the car and starts devouring her tender lips with burning hunger and passion. Raindrops fall on our bodies as I keep kissing the life out of her, just to make her forget whose air she's breathing.

My tongue enters in her mouth and I l!ck and savour every corner of it as she tries her best to kiss me back, but fails miserably in matching my pace. I deepen the kiss with every passing second, consuming her like a hungry wolf.

The Only woman in this whole goddamn world who holds the power to make me lose my control, my sanity and my everything. And if I control her, she also rules over my mind. I can destroy this whole fcking world for her, but to keep her only mine, I can destroy her too.

She sighs in my mouth and taps on my shoulder, indicating me to let her breath. I bite on her lower lip and sucks the blood pouring out of it a little, before freeing her lips of my mouth.

Resting my forehead on hers, I look deeply into her eyes. The restlessness and pain in them is palpable, she's struggling to fetch each breath.

"Breath, breathe Amour!" I cups her face within my palms, and she breaks out in tears once again, this time more impulsively.

"I- I can't take it anymore, Aayansh. I can't breathe." Her breath stutters and breaks with every word coming out of her throat. Her eyes red and face drained of colours, reflecting how broken she is.

That's exactly what I wanted, when I break her, she'll find solace only in my arms. When she needs someone, only and only I will be there for her.

"I'm in pain, Aa- Aayansh, I can't bear it. I- I might di-" before she can complete her words, I smash my lips on hers once again, without any warning, without thinking anything, like I want that breath she's holding.

I start s'cking and biting her lips to the extent, that the only thing her mind can process is my presence, my touch and my closeness to her. I want her to forget everything at this moment, to feel only myself on her.

She needs me, and I want her. At this moment, If to fade the pain aching her heart and mind, I have to give her another pain, I will.

Without breaking the kiss, I grab her waist and lift her a little, she wraps her legs around my torso in response. Holding her with my single arm, I open the door of the car and lay her in the back seat, making sure not to cause any discomfort to her.

Cupping her tear soaked face within my palms, I slowly and intensely kiss all over her face, her eyes and then peck her lips. Keeping My whole body weight on my single arm, I bury my face in her neck and starts nibbling and kissing there with desperation.

Her fingers tangle within my hairs and her sweet moans reaches my ears as I bite on her collarbone, and s'cks on it. I lick her earlobe before biting her shell, her intoxicating warm breaths flowing on my neck as she stays still under me.

I don't care about the f'cking world, the f'cking people. The only thing that matters to me is my woman, laying under me and staring at me with the pain filling her eyes. She owes my existence, and I would gladly mercilessly kill each and everyone who even glances at her.

"Ah- yan- ansh." Another soft moan leaves her mouth as I rub my clothed bulge in her entrance, making her body ready for me.

"Yes, baby?" I peck her lips and she looks at me with tears gleaming her eyes.

Her hardened buds peaking through her top as if begging me to take them in my mouth and s'ck on them until I ruin them out of pleasure. I can feel the heat generated between her thighs, making it harder for me to control myself and not to ruin her.

She's equally wet for me as much as I'm rock hard for her.

I cups her perfect round breast within my palms before kneading on them.

"H... hurting." She breathes heavily, I move to look at her face which is reflecting the same uneasiness and pain.

"I promise you, Amour. Every pain will fade away once I'm done with you, and you'll find peace in my arms." I whisper, licking her earlobe sensually.

The jingling sound of her sweet moans mixes with the sloppy sound of raindrops happening outside.

After taking off her top, I open the button of her skirt and slide it down, baring her just in a white panty covering her p'ssy from my sight.

I take the n!pple of her left tit in my mouth and start s'cking on it, slowly and wildly, trying to provide her the pleasure with pain which might fade the pain aching her heart.

Her hands tugging my hair as I feel her racing heart against my ear.

My teeth work on her left tit while my hands are tracing every inch of her bare waist.

A pride takes over my mind as I circle her pretty little cunt and rub it slowly with my palms. I was her first like she was mine, And we will be each other's last.

"Ah- Ayan." A soft moan slips out of her mouth when I slide her panties down, revealing her p'ssy completely to me while my mouth works on her other tit.

Her leg wraps around mine, sending blood straight to my d!ck and making my already rock hardened dick more hard.

F'ck!

I take a deep breath, preventing the sadist inside me to take over.

"Hmm?"

"I- I need you."

"I know, baby, and I'm here." I place wet kisses all over her belly before my lips make their way to her belly button and bite and s'cks on it with a wild rhythm. My palms curls around her hips as I push her to the seat comfortably.

After getting rid of my wet shirt pants and then my boxers, I wrap her legs around my waist and place her hands over my shoulders, taking care of her comfort.

She looks at me with a blurry vision, her eyes still gleams moisture.

Our wet bodies completely entangle to one another, she shivers due to the cold.

"It- it's suffocating, wh- why did all that happen?" Tears shedding her eyes again as she speaks, she moves her head out of restlessness, agony washing over her mind.

"I- I-....ahhhhhh." her scream fills the silence around us as I thrust my d!ck in her hole without any warning. She digs her nails deeper in my shoulders and I bury my face in her neck, kissing there gently.

This pain is necessary to overshadow the pain clenching her heart, otherwise it will suffocate her soul.

"Relax, for now! just feel me inside you, hmm?" I whisper near her ear while caressing her upper thighs gently, pushing myself deep inside her.

"Ahmm." Her moan echoes within the car as I move deep inside her, hitting her g-spot again and again. The soft walls of her cunt clench around my dick and hug it perfectly as if they know whom they belong.

We stare into each other's eyes, as I'm still moving deep inside her. Her eyes igniting the beast inside me, who want to devour her to the extent that the only thing remains in her mind is me, consume her whole cause of the desire burning inside me.

Her eyes roll back with the mixture of pleasure and pain I'm bringing to her. Her legs start shaking as I continue to torment and shatter her, I hold her hips back, pulling her towards me.

The urge to fill and mark her with my cum is too high but I didn't want to get her pregnant. My baby is too young to carry a baby inside her.

The moment I feel my own release, I pull out my dick, spilling my cum on her belly. I thrust inside her again, this time more wildly, earning a gasp from her mouth. I nibble, suck and lick every inch of her skin desperately.

I continue to pull out and ram inside her with a wild pace, she shivers but that doesn't make me stop. My lips make their way to her tits again, as they brush against her hardened bud.

"Ahhhmm." She moans as I squeeze her tits after cupping them within my palms. Her hands are moving over my back, her nails adorning it with scratches. As much as I love to see my marks on her body, I love her marks on me too.

Her face soaking with tears and sweat as she groans.

I thrust in her again within a single go, hiding my face inside her neck, inhaling her addictive fragrance which drives me insane everytime.

"Are you okay, baby?" I whisper, my face still burying in her neck.

She didn't answer.

"Fireheart?"

I lift my head to look at her face and a satisfaction appears on my face.

She fainted!

She looks too adorable after being fucked by me.

I lean down to peck her lips before standing up and wearing my clothes, I dress her up. Holding her in my arms, I sit in the driving seat, settling her comfortably in my lap, I start the car.