Chapter 31
CURVEBALL
BJ
Staying awake proves to be a challenge, and the bliss of unconsciousness, where I’m free from pain and fear of the unknown, claims me again. The next few times I wake up, either Mom, Dad, or Winter is holding my hand. I’m not alert for long, though.
When I finally wake feeling clear, Lovey is at my bedside.
“Hey, bestie,” I croak.
She startles, and her phone clatters to the floor.
“Hey. Hi.” Her eyes well with tears, but she blinks them back. She takes my hand. “Fuck you for almost dying.”
I laugh and then cringe, because everything hurts. “Sorry ’bout that.”
Lovey’s chin wobbles, and her shoulders shake.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m okay.” I squeeze her hand.
She fights to stay in control, but tears run down her cheeks and drop to her lap. “I promised I was going to keep it together, but you know how shitty I am about keeping my feelings from leaking out of my eyes.”
I smile. “You cry every time we watch Vet Rescue.”
“It’s true. I’m so sappy.”
“Don’t ever change.”
“I won’t.” She plucks a tissue from the box beside her and blows her nose.
“We thought we were going to lose you. If it hadn’t been for Winter—” Her voice cracks.
“I thought I wasn’t going to get to be the best woman at your wedding, and you weren’t going to be co-maid of honor with Lacey for mine. ” More tears fall.
“Pfft. Like I was going to die and miss out on wearing a suit the same color as the bridesmaid dresses.”
“Hey, look who’s awake.” Quinn appears in the doorway holding takeout coffees. “How you doing?”
“Alive, so that’s good.”
“Seems like you’ve got more than one guardian angel watching over you.” He hands Lovey a coffee and murmurs something I don’t catch.
“Lavender and Kody just arrived. I’ll meet them in the waiting room and give you two a few minutes.” Lovey releases my hand and stands.
“What are Lav and Kody doing here? He’s not playing against Chicago for a few more weeks.”
“They’re here to see you, bro. Brushes with death make you popular.” He skims Lovey’s hand as she moves past him and leaves the room. “You need a drink or some food or anything?” he asks me.
“Water would be good.”
He sets his coffee down and passes me the plastic cup with the lid. He helps me get the straw to my lips so I can take a couple of sips.
“Where are my parents and Winter?”
“Your dad is in the waiting room. They only allow two visitors at a time, and everyone is here. Your mom took Winter home to shower. She hasn’t left your side since you got out of surgery two days ago.”
“Two days ago?”
“You lost a lot of blood, my friend.” He clasps his hands. “You scared the hell out of us.”
“How’s Winter holding up?”
“She puts on a brave face. Seems a lot like where you are now is an echo of where she was earlier in the summer. Sort of like how the Clover situation echoed Lavender’s earlier in the summer for Mav. We’ll all keep an eye on her for you,” he assures me.
“Thanks. I appreciate that. She’s spent a lot of years being the support instead of the supported.”
“That’s accurate. But her mom drove up here yesterday to support her, which is good. Her mom is a real sweet lady, started cooking up a storm the second she walked through the door. Guess we know where Winter gets her mad skills from, huh?” he says.
“She loves to cook, and bake, and grocery shop.” I smile faintly. When the newspaper shows up every Thursday, Winter lays out all the flyers so she can price match and plans out the weekly dinner menu with everyone’s input. “What about my parents? How are they?”
Quinn scrubs a hand over his face. “They’re okay. Your mom is… It’s been hard for her. But your dad is pragmatic. You’re their only child, and they almost lost you, so it makes sense that they’re pretty freaked out.”
“What about Lovey?”
A small smile tugs the corner of his lips. “She’s been vacillating between emotional and productive. Something like this makes us aware of our own mortality and how much we take for granted.”
“I don’t remember much of what happened yet.”
“You got yourself a sweet concussion and some stitches in the back of your head, so that’ll be a fun new scar to go with the one on your leg. I’m guessing things will fall into place over the next few days.”
“How’s Adele?”
His jaw works. “She’s fine. Don’t worry about her right now. Your focus should be on healing.”
I remember asking about her before, and my mom having a similar reaction.
There’s a knock on the door, and Kody’s massive frame fills the open space. Lavender stands in front of him, her hair falling in dark auburn waves around her shoulders. She looks different but the same.
“Come on in. I’ll give you guys a few minutes to say hi.” Quinn moves toward the door. “You want me to get you anything? Food? Something else to drink?”
“We’ve been sent with nourishment.” Lavender holds up a Tupperware container of muffins, and Kody has a ginger ale.
“I’ll be back a little later,” Quinn tells me. He stops to hug Lavender on the way out and gives Kody a hearty back pat. They have a brief, whispered conversation as Lavender approaches the bed.
“This is pretty dramatic, even for you, BJ.” She shakes her head. “First your house almost burns down and now this?”
“Just keeping things fresh, I guess.”
She sets the Tupperware on the nightstand, taking my hand between hers. “I’m sorry this happened to you. Don’t let this define or derail you.”
“God, I miss you this year.”
“Same. So much same.” She blinks a bunch of times and sighs. “I met your girlfriend.”
“When?”
“In the waiting room a few minutes ago. She’s a real badass. Tried really hard to keep it together when she met Kodiak.” She smirks.
I chuckle. “She’s all hockey all the time.”
“Oh yeah. The two of them started talking, and it was like another language.” Her smile is soft.
“She fits in well with our crew.”
“She does. It’s good you found each other when you did.” Lavender knows all about the Winter situation because we have a group chat and our own private chat that we use often.
“Divine intervention at its finest.” Winter is the reason I’m still here.
Kody appears behind Lavender. He seems bigger than when I saw him last—broader, thicker. He has a five o’clock shadow, and his hair is longer than usual.
“You’re a good-looking fucker, you know that?” I say.
A smile tips his mouth, and his cheeks flush. “Yeah, but I’m an asshole, so it’s all about balance. How you doin’?”
“Based on the number of visitors, I’ve been better. What day is it?”
“It’s Saturday.”
“Shit. Don’t you have an exhibition game?”
“Yeah. I’m flying out later this afternoon, but I wanted to get Lavender here and see you first.” He wraps his arm around her.
“I’m staying for a few days,” Lavender says.
“That’s great. You can take my room, if you want.”
“Don’t you worry about sleeping arrangements. We’ll figure it out.”
We chat for a few more minutes, and then fatigue slams into me, thick like fog. Kody tells me he’ll be back in a few weeks, and Lavender promises to visit later.
My parents and Winter return. I guess the visitor rules are different for them. Winter settles in a chair and slips her hand in mine. It’s all the comfort I need. I close my eyes and fall asleep.
After three days, I’m able to keep my eyes open for more than twenty-minute intervals.
Once I’m moved from the ICU to the regular recovery ward, my parents and Winter are no longer able to stay the night.
Those hours are the longest. I’m used to sleeping next to Winter, to the sound of her steady breathing and the comfort of her presence.
On the morning of the fourth day, I ask Winter the question that’s been bothering me. “Why hasn’t Adele been by?”
My parents left a few minutes ago on a food run. My appetite is returning, and all I want is shitty fast food.
Winter’s eyes grow sad. “She’s not allowed to.”
I frown. “Her parents won’t let her?”
Winter lowers the bedrail so she can sit on the edge. She takes my hand. “What can you remember?”
I close my eyes on an exhale, sifting through the fog. “I remember you and the banana in the kitchen.”
She chuckles. “Of course you do. And after that, I dropped you at the arena.”
“I asked you to be my girlfriend first, though. And you said yes.”
“I did.” She smiles. “I probably should have waited until after skate practice to pull the banana move. Anyway, I dropped you off and went to hockey practice, then came back to pick you up.”
“We were going out for dinner. I made a reservation, and we missed it.”
“It’s okay. We’ll have plenty of opportunities once you’re on your feet again.
” She swallows. “You were in the middle of your routine when I arrived. I watched from the door for a couple of minutes. You were flawless. It was perfect, but then Adele—” Her jaw clenches, and she clears her throat.
“She messed up, and you tried to correct it, but she… She overcorrected. It was too late to stop the fall.”
“I didn’t want her to get hurt.”
“I know.” Winter plays with my fingers.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
She looks away. “She messed up the lift on purpose.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know, but you were recording the run-through, and it was all on the video.
That’s why she’s not allowed to visit. I don’t think she meant for you to get hurt, but she was reckless, and it almost cost you your life.
” She cups my cheek, eyes full of sadness and empathy.
“I’m so sorry, BJ. I can’t imagine how hard this must be to hear.
Whatever you need from me, I’m here, okay? ”
Shock makes me numb. “It’s on video?”
“It is.”
“Can I see it?”
“I don’t have it with me.” Her thumb runs across my knuckles. “It’s pretty graphic.”
“So you’ve seen it?”
She nods.
“I want to see it. I need to see it.”
“Shh... Take a breath, Randall.” She presses her lips to mine. “Give it a day. If you still want to see it tomorrow, I’ll see what I can do.”