Chapter 36
“You sure youwant to do this?” Xayden wraps his arm around me.
It’s been a couple weeks since my entire world fell apart. Well, since all our worlds fell apart. Everything that came out over the last couple weeks has thrown us all into a spin of what the fuck.
Dekker and Xayden learning about what their dads were involved in wrecked them. Seven’s dad was even involved and arrested. He had worked behind the scenes to hide evidence and some other computer things that helped Aaron get Ledger out. That came as a complete blow to all of us.
And as it turns out, David wasn’t lying. They did go into witness protection. My parents were in hiding. Someone recognized my father; even though he had changed his appearance a bit, it wasn’t enough. David found his brother and killed him.
“Yeah. It’s time to say goodbye.” I blow my nose into a Kleenex. I have been dreading this day for the last couple weeks.
A part of me I think hoped the medical examiner would never release her body. As sad as that is to say, if she was never released, I wouldn’t have to bury her. To say goodbye to my mother.
In my mind, that moment still plays over and over in my head. The guys have all suggested therapy, and I have agreed to see a therapist. Maybe it will help me sleep at night. Maybe then I will be able to turn the lights off.
Maybe I can be normal again.
How can you be normal after watching you mother be murdered?
I can still smell the death. See the blood on the floor. Hear the sounds of each gunshot going off. The hands of the asshole who tried to rape me still make me want to puke. And a lot of that night I still have a hard time processing.
Like Damien. Or should I say Agent Caden Bradley.
When he was recovering in the hospital, I went to go see him. He saved me that day. Even though he held a gun to my head a few times, left me in a parking lot at a drive-in, and was a total asshole, he still saved me.
And I get why he had to. I get why he had to be that way toward me. He couldn’t blow his cover.
He told me that when he took the assignment, it was a couple years ago. He had no idea I was going to be involved until Aaron married my mother. He was left out of a lot of the planning in all of that.
And when he did find out, at that point it was either go with it and try to keep shit from happening or blow his cover and kill the case he had been building.
It was actually his idea for him to go to school with me. Aaron had gotten him in. He figured if he could get close to me, he could keep an eye on me.
He thought Xayden, Seven, and Dekker were in on their father’s bullshit, but he soon learned that wasn’t the case. So, then he tried to push me to toward them. Figuring they could protect me better than he could. But then even that went to shit.
He told me he had no idea the bitches from the sorority were also pulling strings to make me leave. Which was what he was supposed to convince me to do once he gained my trust. Get me to move back to Vegas. Convince me that living with my new family wasn’t going to work and that I should do things on my own. Only, once I got there, what happened a couple weeks ago would have happened then.
Aaron knew I didn’t want to be in Texas but that my mom wanted to be wherever he was. They all figured that by getting me away from her, getting me to move back home, it would be easier access to me. That she could give up the money if they held me for ransom.
What they didn’t know at the time was that she had no access to it at all. She had always told Aaron that she did. When he found out that she didn’t, that was when they disappeared.
I straightened out my black dress and then tucked my black hair behind my ears. I went and saw my hairstylist, Ramona, a couple days ago to just to dye everything all black.
“Firefly, you ready?” Seven comes into the room dressed in a black button-down and slacks. The last couple weeks have brought us all closer.
All four of us struggled with the loss we all faced that night. The betrayal of people that were supposed to love us. We turned to each other, got lost in each other, started to fall in love with each other.
Xayden opened up to me about a lot of the things that happened over the last several months. How he felt toward me, his actions to keep me at arm’s length and how he didn’t give a fuck anymore. He hasn’t stopped apologizing, either. He wakes up every morning saying that he is sorry and will spend all his days making up for it.
Every day I tell him he doesn’t need to keep apologizing, that he is forgiven, and yet he still does.
Dekker didn’t seem so phased by the death of his dad, not even that he pointed a gun at him. He was more worried about what would happen to his mother if he was killed. I have repeatedly told him that him dead is something I don’t even want to think about.
Seven isolated himself for a bit, getting lost in some new computers and programs he bought himself. When he finally did break from it, he came over to me and spent a whole night with his body wrapped around mine. He would whisper how perfect I fit him, or how his world quieted when he was with me. He would trace his lips down my neck, or his fingertips tracing along my skin. He was also the first one to tell me that he loved me.
“I knew it the day I walked you back to your dorm. Something pulled me to you. When I kissed your cheek, it took all my strength to walk away. Because the minute my lips touched you, I was addicted. I love you, Rory. I was so scared at the casino. I thought I was never going to get to tell you.” Seven’s leg is wrapped around my body, my head laying on his arm as our chests are touching. He had a hard time sleeping last night, so I tugged him to bed for a nap.
My mouth drops open at his confession. He loves me. He fucking loves me. “Seven…” My lips quiver. “I love you, too.”
“Good, because now we will have the rest of our lives to say it over and over until we make Xayden gag from the lovey dovey shit.” Seven breaks out in a chuckle.
Dekker and Xayden both told me that they loved me in their own ways. Dekker took me out for a drive to the Grand Canyon and told me as we watched the sunset.
“There really is nothing like a beautiful sunset.” I say as I sit in his lap. Suddenly I am lifted in the air and turned around, straddling him, his lips dangerously close to mine.
“Angel,” he drawls, his voice low and husky.
“Dekker,” I respond back.
His eyes meet mine and I see his chest rise up as he lets out a shaky breath. “I’m completely in love with you. Like you are all my suns and moons. I fucking love you.”
I break out in a big grin, my eyes watering from his confession. “I love you, Dekker.” I let out a giggle.
“What’s so funny?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“I didn’t know you had it in you to be such a poet.” I purse my lips together to keep from breaking out into a fit of laughter.
Dekker says nothing. He just growls at me, a growl so feral I feel it in my lady bits. His lips seek out mine as he kisses me with a bruising force.
Xayden was a bit more, well, Xayden. The other two were out at the gym when he found me in the kitchen of the AirBNB we had rented.
“Princess, what are you doing?” He says from behind me.
“I made some brownies.” I turn around to see him stalking toward me. His lips turned up slightly, his eyes fixed on me. He doesn’t care what I’m doing. He just wanted my attention. “What are you doing, Xay?”
He’s on me in a second, his hardness pressed up against me. My body instantly vibrating at his touch. His hands find my hips and he lifts me up onto the counter top. I open my legs and he settles between them.
His lips find mine and it’s a searing hot kiss that leaves my lips numb. One hand is gripping my hair, pulling slightly, while the other finds itself around my neck. He smiles against my lips and whispers to me, “I love you, Princess. Fuck do I love you.” His lips crash back into mine, swallowing any words I was going to say.
When he finally lets me come up for air, I cup his face and tears fall from my eyes. “I love you, Xayden. I fucking love you.”
“Hey, Firefly? Where did you go?” Seven startles me out of my thoughts. “Are you ready?”
I shake my head out of the fog. “As ready as I’m going to be. I really can’t believe this is happening.” I turn around and face the two of them.
“All of us will be right there with you. Are you sure you want to say something?” Xayden rubs the small of my back.
I nod. “Yeah. I need to say what I never got a chance to. I know it will just be us, but she needs to hear all this.”
Dekker comes up behind Seven, “Let’s go, Angel.” He holds out his giant hand, and I take it, mine being swallowed up in his.
By the time we reach the funeral home, my stomach is twisted and there’s a ball of emotion stuck in my throat. My leg is moving at a fast, jittery pace, and Seven places his hand on my leg to try stop it from shaking.
“Relax. You are going to work yourself up into a frenzy before you even get the chance to say goodbye.” He cups my face and softly places a kiss on my lips. I let out a sigh and feel myself relax just a tad. “There you go. You sure you don’t want one of us up there with you?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I need to do this myself.”
Seven doesn’t say anything, he just bites his lips and nods.
We leave the vehicle and make our way into the funeral home. The funeral director, Perry, greets me at the door. It’s not a place I ever thought I would be visiting. The air smells stale, but with a hint of floral from the arrangements I am sure that get moved in and out of here daily. It’s quiet and somber inside the funeral home. The furniture is old but well taken care of. The walls are an off white, but the colors of the paintings on the walls and plants keep it from being so drab.
“Miss Dawson, we uh, had to put out a few more chairs,” he says as he looks toward the room we are holding the service in.
“Um, what do you mean? There was only us.” I look back at the guys and they all shrug.
“Well, it seems your mother had more people that wanted to say goodbye to her.” He holds out his hand and gestures for us to head into the room.
With trepidation, I walk slowly inside, not having a clue as to what is going on. When I get past the threshold, my mouth drops and tears spring from my eyes. “Holy cannoli.”
There were way more than a few chairs put out. My eyes scan the room, and I can’t believe what I am seeing.
Addy sits in the front talking to our friends, Jason, Scarlett, and Morgan. Behind them are some of the brothers from the Sigma Xi Delta Fraternity. And when I say some, there are like twenty of them. Holy shit.
On the other side of the room, I spot Agent Bradley and some of the other agents from the day they rescued us. Caden sees us and heads over in our direction.
“Rory.” He offers me a hug, and I take it. His arms wrap around me as he pats my back. “I am so sorry. So sorry I?—”
“Stop,” I cut him off. “None of this was your fault. You did what you could to protect me. And I can’t thank you enough for that. And honestly, knowing my mom, that’s what she would have wanted.”
“Promise me something.” He looks at me as he purses his lips.
I nod. “Sure.”
“Live. Go get your degree and live. Go on to build the life you deserve. The one your parents would be proud of.”
My eyes start to water again. I’m left not able to say anything, so I just nod. I watch as he returns to his seat. Looking back, I meet the eyes of the three men who have found themselves in the shitstorm no one expected to be involved in.
We walk in, accepting hugs from some people and condolences. A sea of black throughout the room. Finally, we take our seats and allow the service to begin.
About ten minutes into the service, I am called to the podium to say a few words to my mom. When I originally planned on doing this, it was just me and the guys. The room is packed with people to say goodbye to a person they didn’t even know. But they are here to support me.
With a bit of hesitation, I make my way up to the podium and lay out my speech in front of me. My palms are sweaty, and I can feel my heart racing. I look out in front of me and see the three of them sitting there with concerned looks on their faces. I slightly shake my head to let them know I am okay.
And then I begin.
“First, let me say thank you all for being here. I-I honestly didn’t expect this, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you are here. And while she isn’t with us, I know it means the world to my mother too.
“I was young when my father passed away. I felt lost and hurt that he left us. I didn’t quite understand how he could be taken away. I was angry for so long.” I pause. “Actually, that’s not true. I still am. And knowing what I know now, probably even more so.
“I grew up thinking life was amazing. I was loved, I had amazing parents, and while we weren’t rich by any means, we were happy. Until that fateful day my dad died.
“And we were sad for a long time. But we picked up the pieces, and Mom and I were a team.” I take a moment to inhale, letting it out slowly.
Because we were a team until Aaron came along.
Until he came into our lives and gave my mom false hope. False love.
I continue, “And I’m sure you can figure out what happened next. But you know what? My mom deserved happiness. She deserved love. She gave up so much to raise me and get me through the hardest time of our lives. And she thought that love and happiness was in the new family that we created.”
I look up at Xayden with tears in my eyes. I can see his are all red and I know he is holding back as much as he can to keep from breaking. He lost his father in all this, too.
“While that happiness was short-lived, it was actually good to see her smile. She came to life. The entire trip out to Texas, she was glowing. She talked about all the happy new memories we were going to make out there. My mom was ecstatic for the new lease on life.
“And I wish I would have done more to convince her … well, I don’t know what I would have convinced her of. Because at the end of it all, she did what she could to try to do what was best for me.” Tears blur the words on the page. “Even in her last moments of life.” I close my eyes and cry.
Suddenly I feel hands on me, and I open my eyes to find the guys next to me. Dekker nods, silently telling me to continue. Xayden grabs my hand, and Seven rubs my back from behind me. I take a deep breath and wipe the tears away.
“You know, I had all this stuff written out, but…” I take the paper I had and fold it closed. “My mom was an amazing mother who even in her last moments of life tried to protect me. I saw the life leave her eyes. The pain in her face. I saw her die. There have been moments I wish it was me instead of her. That I had been the one who died that day, but then I know she would have to live without me. A mother without her child.
“She would want me to live the life I’ve always wanted. The one her and my father dreamed I would.” I look over at the casket, knowing her body is in there. There’s a part of me that is just waiting for her to wake up and come home with me. That this is all a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from.
But I know she can’t wake up.
I sniffle. “She’s gone. Taken from me and this world. Leaving me without her. She’s really gone. And now she can be with my father once more. So, Mom, I hope you can hear me when I tell you this. Thank you for all the love you have given me, the patience you have shown me. I will do everything in my power to make you proud of me. Rest now, and find yourself back in your husband’s arms. Make sure to tell him that I love you both so much.
“I’m going to miss you.” And on that last word, a sob is wrenched free from my throat. I fall back into Seven’s arms as the three of them walk me back to my seat.
The rest of the service was beautiful, or at least I think it was. My mind gave out. I blanked completely. All I could think about was all the time I spent with my mother. When it was just her and I. Our movie nights, going shopping, even her trying to teach me how to drive.
Before I realize it, we are standing in front of the architecture building at UNLV.
“What are we doing here?” I look up at the guys as I come out of my fog.
“We are following your dreams,” Xayden says.
“My dreams?”
“You want to be an architect.” Seven shrugs. “What better place than to learn at the UNLV School of Architecture.”
“Yeah, but …”
“But what, Rory?” Dekker steps up to me and puts his hands on my shoulders.
I can feel my face redden at the thought: My but is them. As much as I hated them to start with, the four of us have grown closer than I had ever expected. I mean fuck, they came to find me.
“It’s us,” Xayden answers as if he can read my mind, and I nod.
He comes over to me, Dekker stepping back, and cups my face.
“We graduate this year. I have already sent in my application to the law school out here. We just have to get through spring semester and then we can move out here. We won’t let you go at this alone, Rory.”
“What?” I gape at him.
He leans in and kisses my lips. “You aren’t alone. The three of us love you more than you can imagine.”
Tears spring to my eyes as the three of them surround me.
“We will be with you every step of the way on this journey,” Seven reassures.
“From the moment you stepped into Texas.” Dekker blows out a breath. “Like a magnet to you.” He runs a hand down his face.
“I think what they are trying to say, what we are all trying to say is, you’re stuck with us, Princess. This was where you wanted to go, and this is where you should get your degree from. We can help financially if you need us to, but we just want you to thrive. To do what you love. With us by your side.” Xayden smiles down at me.
“But I-I don’t… everything is so confusing and messy. Where am I going to live? All the stuff with my mom, I just… I don’t know.”
Dekker places a finger under my chin and makes me look at him. “We have stepped away from the fraternity and now have an apartment right off campus for all of us. You can’t start here until fall of next year. This gives you plenty of time to work out everything else. And you have us to help.”
“Wait, you left the frat?” My eyes widen. The fraternity was their life, it was part of them. I can’t believe what I am hearing.
“Yeah, it’s not for us,” Seven confirms. “With all the shit that went down, we didn’t want that connection to our fathers. Not anymore. So, we left. We don’t need it, Rory. But we do need you.”
“And I am sorry. I know I have apologized so many times, but you have no idea how much it eats at me that I tried to hate you. I never hated you. As much of a dick as I was, there was never an ounce of hate in me for you. I liked you. Fuck, the minute you walked into the house, I was instantly drawn to you. I never hated you. I’m so sorry, Rory.” Xayden presses his lips to mine, and a warmness spreads in my heart.
I pull back slightly. “Xay, you keep apologizing, but I have already forgiven you. I understand. The complications from it all. I understand why you tried to push me away. Please, I forgive you.”
He frowns. “You don’t understand. Sometimes I feel like if I had acted different, maybe I could’ve seen this happening. I could’ve stopped all this. I was so pissed that they got married, so angry that I was losing my father, I didn’t even notice that I had already lost him to whatever crazy scheme he was involved in.”
A tear falls from his eye. I know he is still trying to process all that happened.
He told me about the photos that he found in his dad’s office. Which we later found out was something his dad was using to help get me out and away from my mother.
Even the Mustang had a tracking device on it. Aaron was a grade-A asshole.
“It’s over now. Let’s just pick up the pieces and move on. We can mourn our losses but learn how to survive in the reality we now live in.” I rest my hands on his chest.
“Come on, Angel. Let’s go tour this building.” Dekker beckons me over to him.
Xayden leans in. “Let’s go, Miss Future Architect.” He places a hand on the small of my back, and I reach out and grab Dekker’s hand.
We slowly make our way up to the front of the building, and Seven runs and holds the door open for us. I take a deep breath before walking inside.
And yet the moment I cross the threshold, something comes over me. The cool air from the vents hit me, and the sound of students in the building excite me. This is where I belong.
This is the next chapter of my life.