Chapter 56
BETH
My eyes follow the Uber as it drives away.
My only chance of escape. I’m deflated, exhausted, and in so much pain.
It’s as if the past five years have culminated in this moment.
I just want to curl up and cry. Die right here, right now.
There’s no point in carrying on any more.
I look up to the sky. Take me. Just take me.
‘Where on earth were you going? The station?’ Justin’s tone has softened, his demeanour more passive.
He’s switched into full charm mode. But he doesn’t fool me.
I’ve witnessed it all before. How far he can push it so easily is beyond me, even now.
But it won’t wash with me any more. It just makes me want to kill him.
Put an end to all his nonsense. Because I really fear for what’s in store.
‘I needed to get away for a few days,’ I reply. ‘This place is suffocating me. And you weren’t listening to me.’
His head gives a jerk, his lips curling into a half smile.
He takes my unwilling hand. ‘But we’ve only just been away.
And I’m listening now.’ He leads me back along the hallway into the snug, adjacent to the living room.
This is my room. He has his office and his gym, but this room is mine.
There’s a desk by the casement window that I use when I’m working.
But lately, I just sit and stare out of the window at the calmness of the lake, wishing I’d never met my husband.
Justin makes me sit down on the low sofa and drops down beside me. He always sits too close. There was a time when I loved it – his leg pushed up against mine, our shoulders touching. But not any more. I’m shivering, in spite of the stuffiness of the room.
‘I’ve called the consultant and explained in detail how you’ve been feeling. He’s agreed to see you tomorrow. Three o’clock. You can explain everything to him then. The leg pain. The nausea. The dreadful anxiety. Paranoia.’
How easy it is to pass all of this off under the pretext of my condition. He takes me for a fool. ‘What about your mother? Have you got someone from the agency already?’
‘No, I’m afraid not. We’ll have to take her with us,’ he replies.
‘You know what she’s like in hospitals. You stay here with her.
I’ll go alone.’ I could kick myself. I should’ve thought this through.
I should’ve spoken to the consultant myself and rebooked the appointment, or waited until I could slip off when attending one of my numerous hospital appointments.
My mind is racing. I need to orchestrate a private consultation when we go tomorrow and plan my escape from there.
It shouldn’t be too hard with Hattie in tow.
I’ll persuade Justin to take her for a coffee.
For once, having her with us will be a blessing.
I’ll rest all day today. Collect my strength in readiness.
‘You’re not well enough to go on your own.’
He’s on to me. I need to play this carefully. He’ll be watching my every move.
‘Look at you. You’re simply not well enough, darling.’
The way he keeps calling me darling, the pathetic forced look on his face, it’s all grating on me.
I hate him more than ever. All I want to do is scratch his eyes out.
But I must play the game. And the last thing I want to do is antagonise him.
But still, I need answers. ‘Justin, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.’
‘When have I ever not?’
I snort. ‘Come on, Justin. It’s me you’re talking to. Has Immy really gone?’ I ask calmly and use the silence between us as my weapon.
His shoulders slump. Here we go. I knew it was coming. He’s about to come clean. I wait in anticipation. His expression is blank. ‘Beth, I need your help.’ He smirks, knowing I can’t say no.
I drop my head in my hands. ‘Not again.’ I look up at his ugliness. ‘What have you done this time?’
‘Phoebe. That girl who helped us out. She’s still here.’