Chapter 68
BETH
I’m drifting away, in and out of consciousness.
‘Beth, open your eyes.’ Loud voices are a blur, fuzzy around me. An ambulance siren grows louder, slicing through the air. ‘Help. I need help over here.’ A hand slaps my face.
I open my eyes. Blue is licking my hand, quietly whining, his tail still. DC Wiggins slaps my other cheek. ‘That’s it. Keep those eyes open, Beth. I’ve got you. You left a message for DS Porter, calling us back here. What do you need to tell us?’
‘I can’t,’ I murmur. ‘It’s… too… late.’
Hattie cries, somewhere around me. I try to find her. She was going in the lake. ‘Hattie,’ I try to scream, but only a pathetic whimper emerges from my dry mouth.
‘Hattie’s fine. My colleague’s with her.’ The urgency in the DC’s voice pierces through me. ‘Keep those eyes open, Beth. Listen to me, Beth. Hattie told me that she recognised the girls in the photos I showed her. Scarlett and Daisy. Did they come here, Beth? Answer me.’
‘Yes.’
A tear slips down my face. I’m becoming breathless. Blood seeps through the sleeves of my cardigan. This cancer has eaten me from the inside out. ‘Where’s Connor? I need… to see him.’
‘Who’s Connor, Beth?’ She slaps my cheek again. ‘Come on, stay with me.’
‘My boy.’ I feel so sad. So goddamn sad. ‘Get him for me.’
‘I’m not sure where he is, but I can find out,’ the DC says. ‘We’ll get Connor here for you. Just hang tight. Then you can see him.’
‘Tell Immy. I’m sorry.’
‘Immy? Who’s Immy?’
‘The girl. In the photo. Scarlett.’ Water splashes. I try to look towards the lake but the officer blocks my view. I want to push her out of the way, but I can’t even lift my hand. All my strength has gone. My body is finally giving up on me.
Mandy Malone, the first girl I killed, sweeps through my mind.
The night I followed her after I’d caught her and my childhood sweetheart making out.
She must have sensed someone was behind her.
She kept looking over her shoulder. Even to my dying day, I can’t explain what was going through my mind at that point.
Or when I quickened my pace and pushed her, helping her to find her resting place in the depths of that fast-flowing river.
Accidental death, the coroner concluded.
A teenage tragedy born out of underage drinking.
How I wished they’d done a better job. Made the police probe a little further into that tragic accident.
They could’ve caught me. I’d have spent time in prison.
But at least I’d never have met Justin. And I might be living a decent life now.
As decent as can be for a murderer. But then I’d never have had Connor. Life deals wins as well as losses.
The DC waves a hand in the air. She shouts across the grounds, ‘Over here.’ She turns back to me. Her eyes are soft and steady despite the chaos flying around her. Another slap across my face. Harder this time. ‘Help is on its way, Beth. Come on, stay with me, darling.’
Darling. She doesn’t mean it. Just like Justin hasn’t meant that word all these years.
Blue nudges my shoulder. The officer strokes his head.
‘So how do you know Scarlett?’ she asks. ‘Beth, keep those eyes open.’
‘She… here… staying here. I’m sorry.’ The smell of burnt grass from the scorching sun, sharp and ashy, wafts over me.
‘What are you sorry for?’ the DC asks.
‘Daisy.’
The officer is fading. It’s as if she is moving away from me, but her hand is still on my shoulder, gently shaking me every few seconds. Blue, too, is slipping away from me. ‘What about Daisy?’
My eyes are so heavy. They just want to close.
‘Beth. Beth. Stay with me. What about Daisy?’
The smell of Justin’s well-tended roses drifts around me. I think back to our wedding day. My bouquet of red roses. Him all dapper in his black morning suit, waiting at the altar. I thought I’d won the lottery. I was so happy. I loved him so much… once. ‘And Mandy. Sorry… for… Mandy.’
‘Who’s Mandy?’ The DC shakes me harder and harder.
A tear slips down my face. ‘Mandy Malone… river. Me… killed her.’
The DC’s face blurs. ‘And Daisy? Did you kill Daisy, Beth? Or was it Justin?’
‘Me,’ I say faintly.
‘Why?’
‘Shouldn’t have… been here.’ It’s time to sleep. Sleep and never wake up. ‘Found out too much.’
‘Too much what?’
‘About Justin.’
The memory of the first girl who ended up in the lake flies through my mind, followed by the second, third, fourth and the fifth – Phoebe. Blondes, brunettes and redheads, it didn’t matter as long as they were beautiful and vulnerable. ‘Look in lake. Five bodies. I… killed… them… all.’
The DC puffs out a large breath. Her gaze leaves mine. She raises her hand to her forehead to shade her eyes from the sun as she looks at the lake.
‘Please get Connor.’ I think of my boy when he was a baby. His power to magnetise me with his purity. ‘I want my son.’
But it’s too late. I’m never going to see him again.
My eyes close. My thoughts disappear, and I take my final breath.