Chapter 28 #2
“I know,” Avery said. “You’ve always supported me. All versions of me. I can’t thank you enough for it.”
Morgan smiled and took Avery’s hand. “Come on.” She nodded toward the reception venue. “Let’s go inside together.”
The reception was held in a massive glass-walled dome near the cocktail hour patio.
White lamps attached to white metal rods hung from a ceiling that curved downward to enclose the guests in what looked like hundreds of white-paneled windows.
The trees and flowers blooming outside in the gardens, visible through the glass from the inside, were backlit by a sunset approaching its finale below the horizon.
Avery put her evening clutch down at her seat at the head table, which was covered in sprinkles of pink rose petals and small cream candles.
Already the table was plated with the first salad course, a spring mix tossed with walnuts and apple slices drizzled in a balsamic vinaigrette.
Avery had helped Morgan select the menu, a mix of dinner and dessert options catered from Gramercy Tavern and The Freakin’ Rican, in addition to helping design the tablescape.
It was gratifying to see her positive influence woven into the evening, despite all the negativity from the bridal party.
Avery gripped the back of her chair, her eye on the door from where guests were trickling in.
She watched to see when Ryan would join them.
As she waited, she picked idly at her salad to give her something to do, but then a couple minutes later, just as she was about to give up, he appeared, laughing with Viraj and holding a beer.
Ryan and Viraj walked over to Viraj’s seat at the head table, across from where Avery stood. Viraj put down his drink and fiddled with something on his phone, avoiding eye contact with Avery. But Ryan looked up.
“Hey,” he said, nodding in Avery’s direction.
Avery met his eye. She sucked in a breath. Did Viraj tell him something just now? “Hey.”
“How are you?”
Avery pursed her lips. Should she be honest? That was her new thing lately.
“I’m fine,” she said. “No, sorry—it’s weird. A little. Seeing you.”
Ryan exhaled a brief chuckle. Viraj disappeared, had taken off to talk to Charlie near the dance floor as the band started warming up. Ryan and Avery were alone, as alone as you could be in a banquet hall filling up with a hundred and fifty people.
“I feel the same,” Ryan said.
They looked around, each of them waiting for the other to break the ice.
It might be too early in the night for a real conversation.
Ryan was likely only on his first beer. Avery, meanwhile, had been forced to acknowledge in therapy that her drinking was unhealthy, so she was doing her best to stay sober tonight, meaning this was about as loose and open as she’d get.
“It’s good to see you, too, though,” she said, out of the knee-jerk politeness that plagues you when you’re not sure what else to say. “I’m sure Charlie’s happy to have you here.”
Ryan gave a small smile, probably out of similar politeness. “Yeah, I’m glad I could make it.”
An emcee took to the mic, telling everyone to find their seats because they were about to start serving the first course.
Ryan jerked his head across the dance floor in what Avery figured was the direction of his table. “Well, I guess I should go.”
Avery wasn’t sure what Ryan knew about her allegation against Noah, if he’d seen her essay or Noah’s response online.
The only thing she knew was that he’d planned to come here and have fun with his friends.
And at some point tonight, when the guys were several drinks deep, he would join them in thrusting his suit jacket upon the back of his chair, rolling up the sleeves of his sweaty, translucent white button-down shirt, and dancing like a moron on the dance floor.
That would be his focus tonight. Not Avery.
Avery behaved accordingly, with no expectations.
She ate her grilled pork shoulder entr é e and made conversation with Morgan’s cousin at the head table.
She moved her body on the dance floor, twirling Morgan around and scream-singing their favorite songs together, even dancing with Titi Julia when the band stopped to allow Gabriela to play some salsa on Spotify.
She took silly pictures with Charlie adorned in the sunglasses and hats that the band tossed out into the crowd.
She had a heart-to-heart with Joe about how grown-up Morgan was.
She watched Morgan and Charlie cut the cake and wipe frosting on each other’s noses.
She gave a speech, ignoring whispers from the bridal party to focus on speaking directly to the bride and groom.
“To Morgan and Charlie, the greatest friends I’ve ever had.” She raised her drink, a ginger ale disguised in a champagne flute, toward Morgan and Charlie at their sweetheart table. “Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and love. No two people are more deserving.”
Thirty minutes later, after Avery finished her piece of cake, she headed to the bar for another ginger ale.
The dance floor was at its peak, and the groomsmen’s shirts were one button away from coming off entirely as the band geared up to play “Mr. Brightside.” Ryan got in line behind Avery.
His tie was loosened around his neck and his eyes were bloodshot.
“What’s up, Avery?” His voice was louder than it was a few hours ago at the beginning of the night. He was definitely drunk now.
Avery flicked her head over her shoulder. “Hey, Ryan.”
The speakers shook so hard Avery thought they might topple over. Bright white spotlights moved about the dance floor as people started yelling alongside The Killers.
“So, I heard,” Ryan began. “About Noah.”
Avery turned to face him. “You did?”
“Charlie told me everything.” He ran his hand through his sweaty hair before meeting her eye. “Why didn’t you say anything to me last year? I knew you better than anyone. I would’ve believed you.”
Avery wasn’t sure how to react. Did she believe that he would’ve believed her?
It was easy for Ryan to say that now, after he saw that other people like Morgan and Charlie were on her side.
But in the immediate aftermath of that night, emotions were high, especially Ryan’s, and nobody suspected for a second that Avery wasn’t completely at fault.
If Ryan had had any suspicion that she didn’t cheat, he could have asked her point-blank if something else had happened.
His claim that he knew her better than anyone meant very little if he didn’t leverage it when it mattered most.
“That’s nice of you to say,” she said.
She ordered her ginger ale and Ryan ordered another beer.
The loud music and exuberant crowd filled what could’ve been an awkward silence while they waited for their drinks.
But Avery didn’t want to elaborate. She was fine with letting Ryan think he would have had the correct reaction.
Maybe he would have. It was a better reaction than she imagined him having, regardless of whether it was true.
“I’m not just saying it to be nice, Avery,” he said. He sounded more distraught because he’d been drinking, but she could tell he was being genuine all the same. “I mean it. I’m serious.”
She gave him a small and somewhat strained smile. There was no reason to make Ryan think he was a bad guy for not immediately assuming she didn’t cheat senior year. He had just been hurt and reacted to the situation according to his pain. Avery knew all about that.
“I know, Ryan. I believe you.”
The bartender returned with their drinks. Ryan took his and held the bottle up in salute, seeming satisfied. “Well, I’ll see ya on the dance floor,” he said.
Avery smiled, more earnestly this time. “See ya there.”
With her drink in her hand, Avery walked outside for a break from the crowd.
She sat down on a wooden bench and took off her nude heels, massaged her aching feet.
In the distance, dozens of fireflies dotted the space above the grass, and the cicadas’ cries rattled and reverberated in the silent night air.
A rustling sound came from behind a bush, the kind made by a small animal or a child who’d gotten lost. Avery leaned over to the side.
“Hello?” she called out.
It wasn’t immediately clear through the darkness that it was Pete who’d rounded the corner. Avery had to blink a few times to adjust to the low light. She had to wait for him to come closer. She had to convince herself that he wasn’t a mirage.
“Pete?” She stood up. “What are you doing here?”
Pete put his hands in his pockets. He was in a suit. The suit she imagined he would have worn if he’d come as her plus-one tonight. And he looked perfect.
“Well, I knew you’d be here,” he said with a grin. “And I … well, I had to see you. I saw your story covered in the Wall Street Journal this morning.”
Avery smiled. “Of course you read it there. Classic finance bro.”
Pete chuckled softly before slowly making his way toward her. Soon they were so close Avery could taste his minty breath. She felt the vibration of every cell inside her body.
“I’m not proud of how I reacted when you came to my office,” he said. “I was overwhelmed and still hurt, I guess, from everything. And I’m sorry.”
Avery shook her head reassuringly. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Yes I do.” Pete leaned in closer. “Because what I should’ve said was that I think you’re amazing.
And beautiful. And strong. And, now, so brave for telling your story.
” His blue eyes sparkled under the moonlight as his gaze stayed soft on hers.
“I’m in awe of you. I couldn’t go another day without telling you that. ”
Avery’s heart beat hard under her dress. She was elated to see him. Elated and in disbelief that he was here, at the wedding, like he should’ve been this whole time. “Well, you’re pretty awesome yourself.”
“Nah, I’m just a wedding crasher. Even though I was technically invited.”
He looked sheepishly at her. Avery longed to put her arms around him. To kiss him.
“You absolutely were invited,” she said. “I never should’ve uninvited you. I was just afraid of what you’d find out about me before I was ready to share it.”
Pete nodded. “I understand that now.”
He flicked his gaze to the ground, let the moment of silence sit between them. When he looked back up, he met Avery’s eye and smiled, his straight white teeth as beautiful as ever. Avery smiled back, just as shyly, as hopefully.
“But how about we start over?” he asked. “Are you free for dinner next weekend?”
Avery thought of all the times she’d lied to Pete.
All the times she pretended she was okay, that she wasn’t barricading the storm of her past from destroying the promising beginnings of him in her present.
There was power in pretending, Avery knew.
It made her feel strong and untouchable.
But pretending wasn’t what made her powerful.
Because even if she didn’t realize it, she was powerful all along, every part of her: her good and bad sides, her past and her present.
She just needed to believe it. To let him—to let everyone—see all of her.
“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?” she asked. “Why don’t we eat something now?”
Pete glanced over Avery’s shoulder toward the venue. “You sure Morgan and Charlie won’t mind?”
She took Pete’s hand, laced her fingers through his. “Not at all.”
And then she led him inside.