Chapter 41 #2
It feels wrong, this quiet, this softness, after everything.
Daisy is asleep beside me, her body curled towards mine with one arm draped over my chest, her cheek pressed against my shoulder. Her breathing is slow and even, lashes resting against flushed skin. Peaceful. Utterly unaware of the war still raging inside me.
I don’t move though. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll shatter this moment. Afraid that if I breathe too deeply, The Void will remember it lost twice and try to take more than it managed.
You should’ve stopped, it whispers, low and smug. You practically let me win.
My jaw tightens.
I fought it. Gods, I fought it harder than I’ve ever fought anything. Even the fucking Drekkar. I held the line again and again, forced it down when it clawed its way up my spine, when it begged—screamed—for blood and ruin and release.
And still. Still, it slipped through.
My gaze drifts to her neck. Only faint pinpricks remain now, barely more than shadows against her ivory skin. Her magic has already done most of the work, her immortal blood knitting flesh faster than any human body ever could. One of the blessings of what she became.
She’ll still be sore when she wakes. I know that. That’s why I made her drink the tonic before sleep claimed her, even when her eyes were heavy and her words slurred. I couldn’t undo what I’d done, but I could soften it. Minimise it and control what little I still could.
Control. Pff. The word tastes bitter.
I should have left. I know that. The moment I felt The Void surge, the moment her blood touched my tongue and the world narrowed to heat and hunger, I should have walked away. But the sight of her—on her knees for me, trusting me, wanting me—undid something fundamental inside my chest.
I am obsessed with her. There is simply no other way to put it.
With the way her body curves like it were sculpted by divine hands.
With her resilience, her fire, the way she refuses to break even when the universe seems determined to grind her into dust. With the way she looks at me like I’m still worth loving.
Pride coils high in my ribs. I held out longer than I ever thought I could. The pride quickly fizzles out and is replaced by anger, though. Because I didn’t hold out long enough. How far can I let my control slip before I do something unforgivable?
I stare at the ceiling, sunlight blurring as my vision burns. If this is what loving her means now, if every moment beside her is a gamble between salvation and destruction… how long before the odds turn against us? Before The Void doesn’t just whisper… but it takes?
The knock at the door comes like a hammer blow. It’s so loud, urgent, and wrong.
The Void explodes awake.
Threat. Threat. Threat. The words slam through my skull, drowning everything else out. Kill. Destroy. Ruin.
I’m on my feet before the thought even fully forms, the room warping as the door bangs again. I feel Daisy stir behind me, mumbling my name, confusion bleeding into her voice.
The door swings open.
Two people enter into the room. Too close. Too sudden.
My body moves without permission, crossing the space in a heartbeat. I slam them both back against the stone wall, my hands closing around their throats with lethal precision. Power crackles under my skin, The Void roaring in triumph as they thrash, shoes scraping, gasping for air.
Something like a scream echoes behind me. It barely reaches, sounding muffled and distant. Like I’m submerged beneath murky water, sinking deeper with every heartbeat. All I can hear clearly is the chant echoing in my skull.
Threat. Kill them. Destroy. Ruin. The words are not words anymore. They are instinct burned into me like a deadly command.
Hands claw at my arms. Small, delicate hands. Her hands. She’s shouting my name, begging for me. But even her voice is twisted now, warped into something thin and unreal, as if the world itself is lying to me.
I turn my head just enough to see her. My Daisy.
My little flower. Her eyes are wide with terror, tears shining in them with golden hair wild around her face.
The sight punches a crack through the madness.
The split second of awareness is enough.
A knee drives upwards, connecting hard and unforgiving and with devastating precision.
Pain detonates through my body so violently, stars burst behind my eyes.
A savage snarl rips from my throat as my grip falters, and I drop both bodies from my grasp.
The Void shrieks in my skull at my failure.
It lashes at me, furious and ravenous. Desperate from how close it came to ending two lives.
I surge forwards again on instinct, giving in to its demands.
But Daisy moves faster. She throws herself between us without a single ounce of hesitation.
No fear for herself, only for the two strangers my body is aching to destroy.
My flame erupts in reflex. Black fire tears from my palms in a catastrophic wave meant to consume whatever dare stand before it. It hits her. And the entire universe stops.
I feel the impact. Feel the intention behind it. I can feel The Void’s savage delight before it thinks it has won this time. It wanted her to burn. It wanted me to be the one to destroy her.
There’s no scream. No pain. No scorch. The flame curls harmlessly around her body like a living thing recognising its creator. It winds over her skin in tender spirals, kisses the line of her jaw, dances through her hair like dark silk—then dissolves into nothing.
It didn’t hurt her.
My knees give out, crashing hard against the stone floor, the impact jarring through bone, but I barely feel it.
Relief hits me with such force, it feels like a tidal wave of grief, joy, and something unbearably close to happiness.
My chest caves inwards as I stare at her, alive, unburned, and still reaching for me without fear.
Even when I lost control. Even when I lashed out. When I became the monster I tried so hard to avoid becoming, I still did not hurt her.
She crosses the distance in an instant, standing in front of me and pulling my head into her chest. Her heartbeat thunders against my ear.
I don’t realise I’m crying until I’m already sobbing into her, my body trembling so hard I can barely breathe as the weight of it all finally crashes down.
I wrap my arms around her waist and cling to her like she’s the only thing keeping me anchored to this world.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out between gasps. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Shhh,” she soothes, her hands sliding through my hair, smoothing it back from my face the way one soothes a wounded child. “I’ve got you.”
Those three words both heal me and break me.
“Maelkar’s the one that likes the kinky shit, not me,” Lucifer coughs dryly from somewhere behind us.
The moment shatters and I lift my head, blinking through tears. Lucifer is bent over, rubbing at his throat with a murderous expression. Beside him, Ezra is doing the same, face flushed and eyes wild with terror.
I stare at the sparkly ginger. “How the fuck did you get here?”