Chapter 4 – Kenna-Present
Chapter Four
A FUTURE IN FRAGMENTS
KENNA-PRESENT
As I step out of my car, I notice that the world feels alive today—like it’s breathing in time with me, and a little brighter than usual.
Maybe it’s because I’m meeting with Natalie and Rina, my two best friends for as long as I can remember, at Beanstalk, or because in the back of my mind, I know today is going to be different.
I push open the door, the bell above chiming softly. The smell of fresh coffee and pastries fills the air, comforting and familiar. Millie is behind the counter whipping up some sweet treats.
I catch sight of Natalie and Rina sitting in our usual booth. Rina, with her fiery bright red hair, sips her latte with that playful grin she’s known for, while Natalie scrolls through her phone, her quiet energy filling the space between us.
“Hey, guys,” I say as I slide into the booth across from them, my voice carrying a bit of warmth from the sun outside.
Rina’s eyes light up as soon as she sees me. “Kenna! Finally! We thought you weren’t coming.” She leans in closer, dropping her voice a little. “So, we need the scoop. Did you see Cole yet?”
It’s impossible to avoid his name, yet hearing his name fall from Rina’s lips causes me to freeze for a moment, an ache forming in my heart. Of course they would ask about Cole. Everyone’s been curious about him since he has returned.
“Uh, yeah,” I say, trying to sound casual as I sit back, keeping my tone neutral. “I just saw him the other day at the salon.”
Rina raises an eyebrow, her lips curling into a grin. “Just saw him? Someone told me they saw him at the shore a few days ago, and he looked like he hadn’t aged a day. Everyone’s talking about him, Kenz. I swear the town is swooning or gossiping about him. What’s really going on here?”
She nudges Natalie with her elbow, eyes wide with mischief. “You should’ve seen Janie from the bookstore. Said she nearly spilled her iced latte when he smiled at her. He’s like a walking romance novel now or something.”
Natalie lets out a quiet laugh but doesn’t look up from her phone yet. “Can confirm. He’s gone full Hallmark heartthrob. All the book club ladies are beside themselves. You’re the only one pretending like you’re unaffected, Kenna.”
I try not to wince at the way her words hit me, but it’s impossible not to feel that pang of nostalgia.
Rina’s not wrong. Everywhere I go, I hear people whispering, speculating, even wondering if Cole and I are picking up right where we left off.
But I can’t tell them the truth, can I? That everything about Cole—his smile, his laugh, even the way his eyes lock onto mine—is still so comforting.
I straighten my back, clearing my throat. “We’re just friends, Rina. Always have been. It’s nothing more.”
Natalie looks up from her phone, her eyes catching mine with a knowing look. She says nothing at first—just watches me, her silence makes me squirm, but Rina doesn’t notice.
“Okay,” Natalie says carefully, setting her phone down. “But if we’re being honest…we can’t talk about Cole without talking about Nathan too.”
Rina blinks. “Nathan?”
“Auto-shop Nathan,” Natalie continues. “The one you’ve been texting for months.”
My stomach tightens. “We’re just talking.”
Rina’s grin spreads. “For months.”
“And not moving forward,” Natalie adds gently, “even though you clearly could.”
I exhale slowly. “Because I knew Cole was coming back,” I admit. “And I didn’t want to cross a line I couldn’t uncross or one I would regret later.”
Rina sobers. “So you put yourself on pause.”
“I put us on pause,” I correct. “Nathan deserves more than half of me, and I knew I couldn’t give that while Cole was still this…unknown.”
Natalie nods like this confirms something she’s suspected all along.
“Your sisters grilled him at that dinner,” she says.”Millie and Lucie don’t do that unless they see potential..”
My cheeks warm. “That wasn’t my idea, trust me.” I mutter. “It was mortifying.”
Rina laughs. “Mortifying for you. Apparently he handled it like a champ.”
“He did,” I admit quietly. “Which somehow made it worse.”
“But he hasn’t met Cohen,” Natalie says, watching me closely.
I shake my head. “No. That’s the line I won’t cross. Not until I know what I’m doing.”
Rina sighs. “So you’re standing still while two different futures wait on you.”
The truth settles uncomfortably in my chest. Nathan isn’t a mistake.
He isn’t a distraction. He’s the proof that I’ve been trying to move forward while keeping one foot planted firmly in the past. I thought holding back was the responsible thing to do.
That it was protecting everyone involved, but now it just feels like another way of avoiding the inevitable.
Because no matter how steady Nathan has been, no matter how carefully I’ve kept things in that safe, undefined space, Cole’s return has shaken something loose inside me. His name alone still carries weight. History. A version of myself I’ve spent years trying to tuck away.
I know Rina sees it. She always has. She notices the way my shoulders tense whenever Cole comes up, the way I deflect with practiced ease.
Natalie watches more quietly, but her silence is just as telling.
They’re both waiting for me to admit what I haven’t said out loud yet.
That some connections don’t fade, no matter how much time passes or how much you grow.
I don’t argue—because she’s right.
“Oh, come on,” Rina teases, leaning in. “You can’t be serious. I know you, Kenna. There’s always going to be something between the two of you. You were inseparable, remember? You can’t tell me you’ve completely forgotten that.”
I open my mouth to argue, but Natalie’s voice cuts in.
“Or should I remind you of the little boy that you’ve kept a secret for the past nine years?”
I exhale sharply, running a hand through my hair. “No, Nat, I haven’t forgotten about Cohen. I could never forget my little boy. I saw Cole, okay? But I don’t see the point in bringing it up, okay? It’s just…not something I need to explain to anyone right now.”
“But you will eventually,” Natalie says softly. “Just not now. Not to us. Not to him. Maybe not even to yourself.”
“What about Cohen?” Natalie asks, not trying to hide her skepticism. “Are you just going to continue lying to your son? He’s almost nine now, Kenz. You said he’s been asking questions.”
Rina’s smile fades as she shifts in her seat. “He’s going to put the pieces together soon if he hasn’t already. You know how smart he is. You think you’re protecting him, but maybe you’re just delaying the fallout.”
The air in the cafe feels heavier suddenly, like a weight I can’t shake. I feel my face flush, but I try to keep my cool. “It’s complicated,” I mutter, avoiding Natalie’s gaze.
She leans back in her seat, arms crossed, clearly not satisfied with my answer. “Complicated how? You need to figure something out between the two of you, or the whole town is going to tell Cole he has a son before you can.”
I try not to squirm. I’ve spent so much time imagining how I would tell Cole about our son. But hearing Natalie talk about it, pushing me, makes it all more real.
A part of me will always love Cole. He gave me the greatest gift, but Natalie is right. I need to figure out what I’m going to do if Cole sees Cohen.
The image alone of Cole crouching down to look into Cohen’s eyes and realizing the truth in an instant makes my throat tighten. The moment feels both inevitable and impossible.
I feel a tightness in my chest again, the weight of unspoken words.
“Look,” I say, my voice firm, “I don’t know, it’s weird. He’s out and I’m not the same 17-year-old girl. I’m a 26-year0old single mom trying to keep up with her crazy life.”
Rina speaks up, her voice soft but carrying that infectious confidence I’ve always relied on. “Are you sure about that?” She asks, her gaze steady on me. “I mean…he’s your past. But you said you’re friends. Could he be you and Cohen’s future?”
“Even if it’s messy,” she adds. “Some futures are built of chaos, ken. That doesn’t make them wrong.”
Natalie looks between us, sensing a change in the conversation.
“Wait a second, Kenna,” she says, a new curiosity in her voice. “Are you saying that you still have feelings for him? After all these years?”
I feel my breath catch. I don’t answer right away. Instead, I glance down at the coffee cup in front of me, tracing the rim with my fingers. It’s easier to look at the steam than meet either of their eyes.
The question lingers in the air, and I feel my heart race. I don’t want to admit it, don’t want to voice the truth that’s been hiding in the back of my mind for years now.
Can Cole be a part of my and our son’s life? Sure. I’ve kept Cohen mostly hidden, and only my family knows about him. When we go out in public, he is my cousin who lives with me. But what if I could go out and proudly display my son to the world?
I would have to tell Cole about him first. And I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. Or if I’ll ever be.
“I don’t know,” I say finally, my voice quieter than I expect. “Maybe. I mean, it’s Cole, you know? The father of my child. He’s…he’s always been there. But I can’t pretend nothing’s changed. We can’t just pick up where we left off. It’s not that simple.”
“No,” Natalie says slowly, “but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Simple and worth it are the same thing.”
Rina gives me a sympathetic look, but her eyes still glimmer with that knowing expression. “Yeah, I get it,” she says, her tone softening. “But maybe you should stop acting like you don’t care. If you do care, then...maybe you should do something about it.”
“I’m just saying,” Natalie adds, her voice calm, but a little more pressing now. “You don’t have to figure it all out right away. But if there’s a chance to make it right, maybe you shouldn’t let it slip away.”