Chapter 16 – Kenna-Present #2
His fingers tighten ever so slightly around mine, like he’s afraid I’ll slip away if he doesn’t hold on just a little tighter.
And maybe I am. Maybe a part of me still lives in fear that this version of us is too fragile to last. But then I see it—the steadiness in his eyes, the same look he gave me that first night we said goodbye. But now it’s not goodbye.
The pizza arrives not long after, and we dive into it, eating in quiet contentment, savoring the simplicity of the evening.
“Thank you, Cole,” I whisper, my voice sincere.
He chuckles, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing the top of it gently. “You’ve said thank you more times than I can count since I’ve been back. But I should thank you. You’re giving me another chance…to be here…with you.”
I swallow hard, fighting the lump in my throat. His words hang in the air, heavy with meaning. “I’m sorry if that’s too much pressure,” he adds quickly, “I know we’re taking it slow. I get that.”
I want to tell him I would rush ahead with him if he just made the move, that I’ve been waiting for him to be ready. But he hasn’t yet.
I squeeze his hand, letting my fingers lace with his.
“Let’s stop taking things slow, Cap.”
He takes a deep breath, his eyes searching mine before he nods.
“If that’s what you want, Sunshine.”
“It’s what I want, Cole.”
His gaze softens, and I feel a flutter in my chest.
“I don’t want to be an obligation to you. I want what we had back, sure, but I also want us to last this time. ‘Cause you’re it for me. You always have been.”
My heart stutters at his words, and I look up at him, searching his face for any sign of hesitation.
“Cole…there’s never been an obligation between us. There isn’t going to be one now. I’m not saying I want to move faster because I feel like I have to.”
He puts his pizza down, his face serious, but the weight of what he’s saying is clear.
“I mean, I want to take things further,” I admit, “but it’s because I love you, not because of—” I stop, noticing his expression, and my tone softens. “What?”
“You love me, Sunshine?”
His eyes meet mine, and I feel like time itself slows down.
“You honestly think I ever stopped?”
The words hang between us like a spark in the air, waiting to catch. And it does. Everything catches fire.
I can feel the air between us shift, like a current that pulls me closer, the words I’ve been wanting to say for so long finally breaking free.
His question lingers in the room, and for a moment, I can’t do anything but look into his eyes—those familiar eyes that have seen me at my best, at my worst, and everything in between.
“I—” I stop myself, suddenly overwhelmed by the depth of what I’m feeling. “I never stopped loving you, Cole.”
He blinks, and his mouth parts like he wasn’t expecting to hear it out loud. Like it was a dream he didn’t let himself wish for.
His face softens, and I see a glimmer of relief in his expression. He leans in slightly, his hand still holding mine.
“I didn’t want to push you. I know I’ve got a lot to make up for. But hearing you say that…it means everything to me.”
I can feel the raw honesty in his voice, the sincerity that’s always been there, but I’ve been too afraid to let myself fully believe in it. In him. In us.
I reach out and brush my fingers against his cheek, feeling the soft stubble of the day’s growth beneath my fingertips. He leans into the touch, his eyes closing for a moment, as if savoring the simple connection.
“Cole, I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to be afraid to just…be with you. To let things happen.”
He opens his eyes, locking onto mine with an intensity that makes my heart race.
“I’ve waited for this, too. But only if you’re sure. I don’t want to rush you into something you’re not ready for.”
“I’m ready,” I whisper, a sense of finality in my voice. “No more doubts.”
He moves in slowly, and when our lips meet, it’s not fireworks. It’s something deeper. Something aching. A reunion. A forgiveness. A surrender.
The kiss is slow, gentle at first, like a promise, an acknowledgment of everything we’ve been through and everything we still have ahead of us. It’s soft but firm, a reassurance that no matter how complicated things have been, we’re here together.
When we pull apart, there’s a comfortable silence that settles around us. His thumb softly traces the back of my hand, and my fingers are still intertwined with his. It’s quiet, peaceful, and for the first time in a long while, I feel like I can breathe again.
“I’ve missed this,” I breathe, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” he agrees, his thumb still moving in soothing circles against my skin. “Me too. But I think we’ve both learned a lot while we’ve been apart.”
I nod, knowing exactly what he means. The time away from each other has changed us, strengthened us in ways we didn’t expect. We’ve both had to grow, but now, sitting here with him, it feels like the pieces are finally falling back into place.
“Do you ever think maybe we had to fall apart to get here?” I ask.
He tilts his head, thinking for a moment before answering. “Sometimes…I think we were too much, too fast. All heart, no foundation. But now?” He shrugs with a soft smile. “Now we know how to hold it.”
He shifts slightly and pulls me into him, wrapping one arm around my shoulders. I rest my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It’s a sound I never realized I missed so much.
“Do you think Cohen would ever be okay with this?” he asks after a pause, his voice low. “With us?”
I close my eyes, thinking of my son’s bright eyes and curious mind. “I think…he just wants me to be happy. And I think he’d love you if you gave him a chance.”
“What if he doesn’t?” Cole’s voice falters. “What if I remind him of everything he’s scared to lose?”
My heart tightens. “Then we’ll take it one step at a time. Like we’re doing now. But I know my son. He’s kind. He’s curious. And he’s never seen me this happy. Kids know. They feel it.”
Cole presses a soft kiss to the top of my head. “Then I’ll earn it. Whatever it takes.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to us,” I whisper. “Just be here. That’s all he’ll need. That’s all I need.”
He nods against me. “I’m here. For real this time.”
And I believe him.
Later, after the pizza’s been half-eaten and the games abandoned, we just sit. Music hums softly from the speaker in the corner—something slow, familiar, and raw. I lean against him, legs curled under me, and he doesn’t move. Just breathes with me.
“I used to dream about this,” he blurts. “This exact night. The couch, you in your hoodie, no makeup, just you.”
I look up, surprised. “Really?”
He nods. “Every day I was in my cell, I thought about you as you are right now. You are what keep me going during my time and I can’t help but feel like this is all a dream.”
I touch his face again, softly, anchoring him in the moment. “You’re not dreaming.”
He kisses my forehead, like he’s sealing that truth in. And I know he believes me.
Maybe we can finally have the future we lost.
Not the fairytale. Not the movie-ending.
But something real. Something earned.
Maybe this time, we'll get it right.