Chapter 18 – Cole-Present #2
I try to swallow the lump in my throat. The last thing I want to do is smother her, but this silence between us? It feels like something more, and I’m not okay with that. I need her to let me in, even just a little.
She stands up then, the movement jerking me from my thoughts. Her voice is casual, almost too casual, as she says, “I think I’m going to take a bath. You want to join me?”
I raise an eyebrow at the invitation, surprised by the shift in her mood. “In the bathtub?” I say with a teasing grin, my voice light. “I’ll join you, but not in there. I’ve got no interest in getting wrinkly.”
She shoots me a half-smile, a fleeting glimmer of the Kenna I know. “Well, you know where to find me,” she says, and with that, she walks toward the bathroom, leaving me with my thoughts.
I sit there for a moment, processing. I hate feeling like I don’t know what’s going on with her.
She’s scared—that's the key. I need to give her space, let her come to me when she's ready to talk about the why of that fear. It’s hard, man. We’ve been through so much, and it felt like we were finally in a place where things were easy.
But now I’m standing on the edge of uncertainty again, and the thought of losing her is a cold dread in my gut.
The sound of running water from the bathroom pulls me from my thoughts.
I stand up and walk toward the door, leaning against the frame as I watch her slip into the tub.
The steam swirls around her like a fog, creating an almost ethereal glow as she settles into the warmth of the water.
She’s submerged to her chest, surrounded.
Her eyes catch mine, and for a moment, I see something in her gaze that I can’t quite place—a sadness, maybe, or just the exhaustion of holding everything inside.
“You know, twenty questions could be fun,” I say, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. “It’ll be like old times.”
Kenna rolls her eyes but laughs softly, the sound a little breathy, and that’s a relief. It’s small, but it’s something. She nods, though I can tell she’s not entirely convinced. “Seriously? We already know everything about each other, Cole. This is dumb.”
“I don’t know about that,” I reply, stepping into the bathroom. “There’s always something to learn. I’ll start.”
She looks at me skeptically, but I see a slight twinkle in her eye, like she’s amused despite herself. “Alright, fine.”
I think for a moment, then ask a question that’s been on my mind for a while. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in high school?”
She laughs softly, the sound a little nervous but real. “Oh god, you really wanna know? Well, I guess it would be when I accidentally spilled my drink all over my chemistry teacher’s lap. He was so pissed, but I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m pretty sure he hated me after that.”
I chuckle at the memory, shaking my head. “Classic Kenna, okay your turn” I say, and she grins.
She meets my gaze, her eyes serious now. “When you were inside—when you went to prison—what was the hardest part?”
I hesitate. I’m used to keeping things close to the chest, especially when it comes to the hardest parts of my life.
But she asked, and I know this is the kind of thing we need to work through.
I swallow hard, and the words come out slower than I expect.
“When I first got there, I missed my family and you. I would write you letters, but I never sent them. I thought it would be better for you if you just forgot about me. But every day I thought about you. Every damn day.”
Kenna goes silent for a moment, and I can see her processing. Her face softens, her expression flickering with something like sympathy, but it’s more than that. It’s understanding. She gets it.
“I had no idea,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you just...send them?”
I rub my hand over my face, looking down for a moment before I meet her eyes again.
“I thought you’d be better off without me.
Without knowing. I thought I was doing the right thing by cutting you out of it.
I didn’t want my mess to become your mess, but every day, I missed you.
I thought about you constantly, and sure I wrote the letters.
But I never sent them. I couldn’t...I couldn’t do that to you. ”
Kenna doesn’t speak at first. Instead, she just stares at me, her gaze soft, and for a second, it’s like we’re back in high school.
Back when things were simpler, when we could still see each other without all the baggage of what life had thrown at us.
I’m not sure how long we sit in that quiet moment, but I feel it—a connection, like we’re finally starting to heal.
Without warning, she stands from the tub, the water slipping off her skin as she looks at me.
I don’t say a word, but I stand up, lifting her gently out of the bath and into my arms. Her skin is warm against mine, and I carry her back to the bedroom, setting her down gently on the bed. The night feels different now—like we’ve crossed a threshold, something unspoken between us.
I look down at her, and it’s almost like we’re still just two kids who still have so much to figure out but somehow know that this, right here, is worth everything.
Her eyes glisten, and before I can stop it, a tear slips down her cheek. Then another. And another. I reach for her, pulling her into my arms as she starts to cry, soft sobs wracking her body. I hold her close, kissing the top of her head, and I let her cry as much as she needs to.
When her breathing finally slows, I ease back just enough to reach for the brush on the nightstand.
I sit behind her and gather her damp hair carefully, drawing the brush through it in slow, gentle strokes.
She leans into me, her shoulders relaxing with every pass, and I tuck the loose strands behind her ear, taking my time, letting the quiet speak for me.
“I’m here, Kenna,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m right here. Always.”
She clings to me, and for a moment, it feels like the world is quiet, like nothing else matters but this. I pull her tighter, my arms wrapped around her, not letting go.
And as I kiss the top of her hair, I whisper the words that have been in my heart for as long as I can remember: “No matter what happens, you’ll always be my Sunshine.”
The soft glow of the lamp beside the bed flickers as I stare at the ceiling, the weight of everything finally starting to settle in. The room feels quiet now, much quieter than it was before, the space between us thick with emotions we’ve only begun to sort through.
Kenna’s still in my arms, her breath deep and slow as she drifts in and out of sleep. Her body is warm against mine, and I can’t help but feel a deep sense of contentment, even though I know she’s carrying something heavier inside her that she’s not ready to share just yet.
I want to ask her what’s going on, but the silence is peaceful, and I don’t want to ruin that. Not yet.
After a while, Kenna stirs, her fingers lightly brushing against my chest as she stretches. “I’m kind of hungry,” she says, voice soft, muffled by the pillow she’s resting on.
I smile, pulling her a little closer to me. “You’re always hungry,” I tease, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
She huffs a small laugh and raises her head, her eyes locking with mine. “I am not,” she protests, though there’s no real conviction in her voice.
“Yeah, you are,” I reply, poking her playfully in the side. “Remember the time you ate an entire pizza by yourself in one sitting?”
“Yeah, well, you ate the last slice,” she shoots back with a grin. “I had to make sure you didn’t get away with that.”
I chuckle, brushing my lips against her forehead. “I still don’t know how you managed to pull that off. You’re like a bottomless pit when it comes to food.”
She gives me a mock glare, but the corners of her lips twitch into a smile. “You know you love it.”
“Yeah, I do.” I pause, meeting her gaze. “So, what do you want to eat?”
“I don’t know. Takeout? Something easy?” she suggests, rolling over and sitting up on the edge of the bed. “But first, I think we should watch a movie. You in?”
I sit up beside her, stretching as I rub my hands over my face. “I’m in. What are we watching?”
“Dirty Dancing,” she says immediately, her eyes gleaming with excitement as she looks at me. “It’s one of my favorites. You’ve never seen it, right?”
I groan, shaking my head. “I’ve seen it, but I don’t remember much. Besides, I’m not in the mood for a sappy romance movie. I was thinking more along the lines of Big. You know, something funny and light.”
She raises an eyebrow at me, clearly unimpressed. “Big? Seriously? I don’t even know how that’s a thing. It’s just a grown man who turns into a kid. I don’t know if I can handle that right now.”
I cross my arms over my chest, not backing down. “Come on, it’s a classic! It’s funny, and it has heart, Tom Hanks. You can’t deny its a good movie.”
Kenna lets out a dramatic sigh, rolling her eyes. “Classic ‘80s guy. Why do you have to make everything a comedy? Dirty Dancing has way more depth.”
“Depth?” I scoff. “It’s just dancing, and some guy falling in love with a girl. What’s deep about that?”
Kenna shoots me a look that makes me laugh, but she doesn’t back down. “The dancing is incredible, Cole. And the music! Plus, I mean, who doesn’t love Patrick Swayze?”
I grumble in protest, but I know it’s a lost cause. “Okay, fine. But I’m picking the next movie after this. No more chick flicks.”
“Deal.” She grins, obviously pleased with her win. “But I’m serious about this. I love this movie. You have to appreciate it.”
I shake my head, amused by how fiercely she defends it. “Alright, alright. But I’m telling you, the minute this movie starts, you’re gonna regret it.”
She hops off the bed, heading toward the living room with me trailing behind her. “We’ll see about that,” she says over her shoulder. “Maybe I’ll change your mind.”
Once we reach the living room, Kenna flops onto the couch and pulls a blanket over her. I settle next to her, but my mind’s still a little preoccupied with the conversations we’ve had and the one we haven’t had yet. She’s still holding something back, and I can tell.
Before I can say anything, she pulls out her phone with a smug look on her face.
“Oh, and by the way I wasn’t really going to make you watch Dirty Dancing.
I have this app that picks a random movie for you.
It’s called Movie Roulette. I use it when I can’t decide what to watch.
I’ve gotten Dirty Dancing a bunch, but let’s see what it picks. ”
I blink, slightly taken aback. “Wait, seriously? That’s a thing? You’re gonna leave this decision up to an app?”
Kenna grins, scrolling through the app. “Yep. It’s kind of like a game. You hit the button, and the app picks a movie based on whatever genre you choose. It’s like fate telling us what we should watch.”
“You’re really into this, huh?” I chuckle, clearly amused by how invested she is in this idea. “I don’t know, sounds like a cop-out. I’m telling you, Big would be way better.”
Kenna taps the button on the app with a flourish. “Well, you’re in for a surprise, Mr. Skeptical.”
The app whirs for a moment before it makes a selection. Kenna holds up her phone, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “And the winner is... Dirty Dancing.”
I roll my eyes. “Well, looks like the app is on your side. But I’m still not going down without a fight.”
Kenna gives me a mock glare. “You already lost, Cole. Deal with it.”
I settle back into the couch, resigned to my fate, and the familiar opening music of Dirty Dancing starts playing.
As the movie unfolds, I can’t help but feel the shift in the atmosphere around us.
It’s not just the playful banter that we’ve had, but something deeper.
There’s a comfort here, a sense of togetherness that feels almost too good to be true after everything we’ve been through.
Kenna snuggled against me immediately, legs tucked under the blanket. Her head rested on my shoulder, hair brushing my neck. Without thinking, I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. She fit naturally against me, and a warmth spread through me that had nothing to do with the room.
The opening notes played, and I realized I didn’t mind.
Not really. Not with her like this. Her soft sighs mingled with the music, and I felt the steady beat of her heart beneath my hand.
She shifted occasionally, curling in tighter as if unconsciously staking her claim, and I let her. It felt like home.
Halfway through the movie, Kenna murmured, “Hey…can we talk later? Not now. Just…later.”
I nodded, brushing her hair from her face. “Whenever you’re ready.”
She smiled faintly and pressed closer. “Thanks.”
By the time the credits rolled, Kenna had dozed completely against me. Her breathing was soft, even, and I didn’t want to move her. I let the quiet stretch between us, my mind drifting through the evening, through everything unsaid.
I stared at the ceiling, replaying her small gestures—the curl of her hand on my chest, the way she fit against me like she belonged.
A smile tugged at my lips despite the weight of the unknowns.
Whatever was coming, we’d face it. For now, this was enough.
Holding her. Feeling her. Knowing she trusted me enough to fall asleep in my arms.
And in that moment, even with everything left unsaid, everything felt…right.