Chapter 22
She Drove Four Hours
Eddie
Icrash out on my couch after another long day, staring at the beer in my hand like it might solve the world’s problems if I give it enough time.
But it won’t.
Nothing does.
At least the last week on the job has been easier. The guys have settled into a rhythm, which is typical once everyone finds their footing, but it’s more than that.
There’s a calm now.
A truce.
Kiki and I called it on the scaffold.
It wasn’t easy to set my anger aside, and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t still creep back in from time to time. But the truth is, it wasn’t doing any of us any favors. Not her, not me, not my crew.
And for a few minutes that afternoon, it was just Kiki and me again. Our own little world.
The conversation was rough at first, but we scrounged our way to something manageable. By the end, I realized I didn’t hate her. If I’m being honest, I never did.
But I hate how much I still love her. That I can’t shake her.
More than anything, I hate that she’s no longer a part of my life except on the job site.
Kiki is the one thing I look forward to every morning, but the second I see her, I lock it all down so I don’t give myself away.
Yeah, it would be a hell of a lot easier on me if I did hate her. But that would mean not loving her anymore, and I don’t know how to do that.
I drag a hand over my face and take a sip of beer, letting the cold liquid wash down my throat.
Another thing that doesn’t make any sense is Kiki’s pointed comments about Romy and me. She seems genuinely envious of the easygoing camaraderie between us.
Not that there’s anything to be jealous of. It’s a non-situation. Romy’s cute and sweet and trying really fucking hard, but she’s not Kiki, which means she doesn’t stand a chance.
No way in hell I’m telling Kiki that, though. The woman has made a big enough fool of me already.
My phone buzzes against the arm of the couch.
I glance down and roll my eyes. It’s Deirdre. Can’t wait to see what she wants. Until recently, the two of us talked regularly, but that’s a thing of the past now.
I let it ring twice before picking up. “Yeah. What’s up?”
“Can you take Theo to his hockey game tomorrow after school?”
“What time?” I ask, downing another sip of beer.
“Same as usual.”
I pause, mapping out my day. Delivery in the morning. Electrical being run. Another delivery in the afternoon. Drive to Theo’s school, then the rink—
Apparently, I take too long, because Deirdre snorts into the line. “Let me guess. You have to check with your girlfriend?”
Woman, do not start with me today. “I’m going to ignore that comment.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because I don’t have a girlfriend, Deirdre. I’m trying to figure out how to leave the job site, grab Theo, and get him to the rink on time without screwing over my crew. If that’s okay with you.”
Deirdre falls silent, which is never good where my ex-wife is concerned. “What happened with Kiki?”
I huff out a breath. “Oh, you want all the fun details? Let’s see. I fell for her. I was stupid enough to tell her that fact. And then she dumped me a few days later. Threw it all back in my face. So go ahead. Laugh it up.”
A long exhale sounds through the line. “Sorry it came to that.”
Now she’s going to act like an innocent bystander? Oh no, ma’am. Not happening. “No, you’re not. You meddled. Ensured Kiki felt unwelcome around us. That was your whole point, wasn’t it?”
“My point was to protect Theo. You know that.”
“Well, Kiki loved Theo.” I know it’s the truth, even if she never loved me. “She adored that kid. Not that it matters anymore.”
“Hmm. I’m starting to realize she did.”
I’m not about to dissect Deirdre and her vague comments right now because I’m far too tired for her games.
I flop back against the couch, counting the ceiling tiles while praying this conversation ends soon. “Anything else, Deirdre?”
“No. But at least now I know why you’ve been so utterly unbearable the last month.”
“Yeah, getting dumped on my ass might have something to do with it. Are we done here?”
“Don’t forget, the game’s at five tomorrow. Have a good night, okay?”
Now Deirdre wants to act concerned? I guess it’s easy to play the part once you’ve achieved your goal. That, and she’s got a new boyfriend to keep her occupied.
She’s lucky I’m not petty enough to return the favor to her new beau and give him a hard time.
But what would that prove? I don’t care if Deirdre dates and being a jerk isn’t going to fix the fact that Kiki never loved me back.
So, I let it go. You pick your battles.
Maybe it’s better that I’m single now and can focus on my business and Theo without the added pressure of a relationship and all that might entail. You know, rings and marriage and babies.
Really wish I could take Mike’s advice and get laid, but that’s not the answer either.
At this point, I don’t know what is.
Surprise, surprise, I’m the first one on site the next morning, even though I’m battling one hell of an emotional hangover. Let me tell you, beer hangovers are far easier to push through.
I take advantage of the time and make a slow pass through the house, checking everything off as I go.
The electrical is mostly run, inspections are lined up, and the drywall guys have started closing up the living and dining rooms. The floors are already in, and once they’re polished, they’re going to gleam.
And despite Nolan’s twisted logic, the place is finally coming together.
The man may have unhinged working parameters, but he’s downright giddy over every set of progress photos I send him.
He still drives me crazy, though.
He’s especially thrilled about the dining room trim we salvaged. Of course, I told him it was all Kiki, which is interesting, considering he swore up and down she said it was my idea.
I swear that woman makes no sense.
Kiki isn’t on site for most of the morning. Not that I’m paying attention or anything, although I’m tempted to text her to make sure she’s okay. She’s part of the crew, right? I check in on my guys all the time.
Nothing to see here, folks.
She finally strolls in about twenty minutes before I have to leave to pick up Theo, a large paper bag clutched in both hands and a wide, trepidatious smile on her face as she heads straight for me.
“Where have you been?” I ask. “Did you take a vacation day or something?”
“Kind of,” she admits. “But when you look in the bag, you’ll understand why.”
She thrusts it toward me, and my jaw slackens the second I look inside.
No way.
I pull out the box, letting the bag drop to the floor as I turn it over in my hands, half expecting it to disappear if I blink. “The remote-controlled dinosaur,” I mutter. “Holy shit. How did you get this? It’s sold out everywhere.”
She shrugs, a small smile playing about her mouth. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
I bark out a laugh, still staring at the thing like it’s made of gold. “Mike,” I call over my shoulder. “Kiki got the dinosaur.”
Mike glances up from across the room, squinting at me. “What? Dinosaur?”
“For Theo,” I add.
He gives me a thumbs-up, still confused as hell. “Yeah, I kind of figured it wasn’t for you.”
“Right,” I grumble, rolling my eyes. I’ve been talking about this thing for weeks, and apparently my buddy hasn’t bothered to listen to a word.
But Kiki did.
I set the dinosaur down on my makeshift desk and pull Kiki into a hug before I can think better of it. At first, she stiffens against me, but then… she melts.
Just like that, she’s in my arms again.
I tuck my face against her hair and breathe in her familiar scent.
For a brief instant, we’re right back at the beginning. Before she walked away. Before she broke me.
But we’re not those people anymore. And the truth is, I don’t know what Kiki ever felt for me, or if our entire relationship was nothing more than a dream concocted in my mind.
When I step back, her fingers catch in my shirt, tightening like she doesn’t want to let go.
That alone almost does me in.
But something crashes in the other room, followed by a string of curses, and it cuts through our moment like a chainsaw.
We pull apart, and I pick up the box again, still not believing I’m holding the thing. “I’m shocked you remembered me telling you about this.”
“I remember everything about you and Theo,” Kiki replies.
Why say something like that, Kiki?
But I force my attention back to the dinosaur and remind myself of the truth.
She loves Theo. She just doesn’t love me. And that has to be enough.
She runs a finger along the edge of the packaging. “I hope he enjoys it.”
But the elation doesn’t last.
God, I hate this, but it has to be done.
I tuck the dinosaur back into the bag and slide it toward her.
Her brows knit together. “What are you doing?”
I shove my hands into my pockets and rock back on my heels. “The thing is, Theo only stopped asking about you a week ago.”
A look of understanding passes over Kiki’s gentle features. “I see.”
“I shouldn’t have let him get so close to you.
That’s on me. But it wrecked him when you disappeared.
I can’t have you coming in and out of his life like that.
He cried for weeks, wanting to know why you didn’t want to be his friend anymore.
” I swallow down the emotion as I recall the conversations I’d had with my curious little boy.
“I told him you were busy, but I don’t think he believed me. ”
Kiki’s eyes fill with tears, but she leaves the gift on the edge of my makeshift work area. “I understand completely. But I’m leaving this here. I drove all the way to the city to get it for him.”
Her words hit right in the gut. “Kiki—”
“Don’t,” she cuts in, the emotion trembling in her voice. “Please. This is for Theo. Just don’t tell him it came from me. Give it to him and make sure he has the best birthday, okay? He’s the most awesome little guy ever, and he deserves that.”
A few tears slide down her cheeks, and I fight the urge to pull her back into my arms. But this time, I might not let go.
I look at the dinosaur, then back at her. “If you’re sure… I’ll get you the money tomorrow.”
“I’m positive.” She swipes at her cheeks and rolls her shoulders. “Now I’m going to get caught up on my work. I hope you didn’t tell Nolan I was MIA this morning.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
And I appreciate you, Kiki. Fuck—
When is this going to get easier?
Romy leans into the room. “Hey, handsome,” she calls, tapping her wrist. “You’re going to be late. You told me to remind you, remember?”
I smack my forehead. “Shit, you’re right. Thank you.”
“I put your bags in the truck,” Romy adds. “You’re ready to roll.”
I turn back to Kiki. “Yeah, I have to—”
Kiki lifts a brow, her gaze flicking between me and Romy, but she doesn’t ask for clarification. “Guess it’s your turn to play hooky now, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll cover for you if Nolan calls. It’s the least I can do.”
“Thanks. I’m taking Theo to hockey.”
Her eyes drop to the bag in my hand. “You might want to leave the dinosaur here… or with Romy. I’m pretty sure having it in the truck with you is going to ruin the surprise.”
“Yeah. Good call.”
I hand the bag off to Romy, who immediately peeks inside. “How cool, a dinosaur. Theo will love this. I’ll stash it somewhere safe, away from the chaos.”
“Appreciate it.”
I’m halfway across the room when I turn. “Seriously, Kiki, thank you. You have no idea what this means to me. To Theo.”
She nods, but there’s a rigidity in her stance now, and I can’t be sure what’s put her on edge.
My guess? Me telling her the gift can’t come from her.
And I get it. It was hard enough to say. I can only imagine how it felt to hear.
But I have to think about what’s best for my little guy, and nursing him through another heartbreak isn’t it.
Her gaze flicks once more between Romy and me. “No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a good night.”
I stop by Mike, let him know I’m heading out and he’s in charge, then hustle toward my truck.
“Hang on a second,” Romy calls, rushing to my side.
Oh boy. What now?
“Why didn’t you tell me you and Kiki were an item?” There’s no jealousy in her tone, just curiosity.
I let out a short laugh as I unlock the door. “We’re not… anymore.”
“Hmm. That’s a shame.”
“Why do you say that?”
Romy shrugs. “Besides the fact that she has awesome taste in dinosaurs, she’s madly in love with you. God, everyone knows it, Eddie. It’s obvious.”
“She’s not,” I argue, but Romy holds up a hand, cutting me off.
“Trust me.” She leans in with a conspiratorial wink. “She is. No one drives four hours round trip for a coworker. Food for thought. Have a good night.”
She sashays away, looking entirely too pleased with herself.
For a second, I just sit in my truck, keys in my hand, staring at nothing. Gobsmacked by Romy’s announcement.
It’s a nice thought. For a while, I believed Kiki and I were on the same page. Thought she loved me too.
But I was wrong.
I wouldn’t be surprised if my guys clocked me as still in love with her. That part’s not exactly subtle. But Romy saying Kiki’s in love with me? That doesn’t track.
Kiki made it pretty clear what I was. A way to fill a void. Nothing more.
So, what the hell are they seeing that I’m not?