9. Jane
It’s been three months since my last official day at the Maple Valley Library, but I’m still here every day, at least for a few minutes. At first it was painful to come in as a patron, but I’ve gotten used to it.
After I got my last paycheck, Amelia volunteered to take over Book Talk with Byron. She lasted three episodes. She hated every moment, and the followers rebelled big time. Amelia begged me to come back as a volunteer. I couldn’t think of any good reason not to, since I missed making episodes and I had nowhere else to go. And within a few weeks, to my utter shock, I was offered my first sponsorship. It was enough money to pay my mortgage for a month. Then another sponsorship came in and another. Now, Book Talk with Byron is paying so much that, for the first time in my life, I have money in my savings account—and a plan for how to use it.
I wander over to the librarian’s desk where Tabitha is labeling new titles and drop my elbows down, chin in hands. I should be excited about my success, but I’m not.
“You smell nice,” she says.
“Thanks. It makes no sense. Why pay me five grand to wear book-scented perfume in a video? No one can even smell it!”
“I can,” Tabitha grins. “I ordered a bottle. Amelia did too.”
“You did not.”
“I definitely did.” Tabitha inhales deeply. “It smells just like walking into the stacks.”
“So you basically want to smell like work… at home?”
“Can’t help loving what you love.”
“No truer words have ever been spoken.” My shoulders droop.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never felt so miserable reading a book before.”
“What’s the problem? Slow plot? Bad editing?” Tabitha puts the label maker down. “Tell me what kind of book you’re in the mood for, and I’ll recommend something you’ll like. Or you could try Abigail Cameron’s latest?—”
I shake my head. “It’s not the book. I should like it. I’m just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“I’m sure tomorrow’s title will be better. Have you picked one yet?”
“Living in the Moment, Even if the Moment Sucks,” I tell her.
“What? Jane, you’re torturing yourself.” She throws her hands in the air. “That’s the book Bryan posted about. Why are you doing this?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I kind of hope that if we’re still reading the same books, there might be a chance…” I trail off.
“You still haven’t reached out to him? If a guy like that was interested in me, you can bet your books I’d be at his front door right now.”
I roll my eyes, since Tabitha’s in love with her best guy friend. She hasn’t said as much, but it’s pretty obvious.
She adjusts her cat-eye glasses. “Why don’t you send Bryan a DM? Say hi. See where it goes. No pressure.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Of course you can’t.” Her tone is sincere but the way she rolls her eyes betrays her true thoughts.
“I’m better off without him.”
“Of course you are,” Tabitha echoes, shaking her head so her words and body are in obvious contradiction.
“Tabby, he built a robot to replace me.”
She raises an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine, he didn’t know Byron would replace me… but he still doesn’t get me. He tried to fix all my problems by throwing his money and followers around. And he keeps posting his stupid, sexy shirtless photos with his stupid, sexy literary quotes on QuickStar…” I trail off, my cheeks flushing.
“You still follow him?”
“No.” I scowl. “It’s recommended every now and then as an account I should follow.”
“You could block him.” Tabitha bores a hole in me with her stare.
“Fine. Yes, I still follow him. But shouldn’t I feel better about this? I was the one who ended things. We’re not right for each other. He’s rich, and I’m…”
“Getting paid five grand to wear perfume?” Tabitha suggests.
“Only because of his followers.”
“Actually, it’s because of your talent. Sure, he helped you get a half-a-million kick start, but how many do you have now?”
I mutter the number.
Tabitha cups her ear. “Did you say two-point-five million? Jane, that’s all you and your talent.”
“You have to say that. You’re my friend.”
“Then ask them.” Tabitha points at a small crowd that’s gathering around Byron, watching him put away books while they wait for me to start filming.
“Ugh! You’re supposed to be my friend. You’re supposed to take my side. Let me wallow in my misery!”
Before Tabitha can answer, Amelia pops her head out of her office. “Jane, do you have something you’d like to share with the class?”
Tabitha and I look at each other and then at Amelia.
“I just got off the phone with a lovely woman at a very well-respected university that offers an online program for a Masters in Library Science…”
Tabitha squeals. Amelia and I both ‘shush’ her.
“She said she’s very impressed with your application and was just making sure everything you included was factual since, as she put it, ‘this candidate seems a little too good to be true.’ I assured her you’re probably even better than what you included in your application. She said she’d be emailing you an offer right away.”
It’s my turn to be shushed as I blurt, “Yes!” with all my heart and soul.
Several patrons turn to look, and Amelia beams with pride and announces, “Jane has been accepted into library school.”
A chorus of “congratulations” fills the air. For a minute or two, I feel truly happy. This is where I’m meant to be. This is what I’m meant to do. But I also feel like nothing will ever fill the hole Bryan left in my heart.
I walk toward the romance section to record my Book Talk with Byron video, but change direction at the last second and pause in an adjacent aisle so I can be alone for five seconds to regroup.
I rejected the one man in the whole world who loves books as much as I do. And it hurts. I wish that I could celebrate my good news with him. He made this life possible, and I stupidly pushed him away.
I breathe in the smell of actual books, mixed with my book-scented perfume, to center myself. “I can do this.”
I head to the romance section, grab the book of the day, and turn to Byron. “Ready, buddy?”
A few of the people watching me record chuckle.
I power up the robot and move him into the frame. He’s finished his morning shelving, so I expect his bin to be empty. But a dark red book comes up his conveyor belt. It’s oddly shaped. Probably a new children’s picture book I haven’t seen yet.
The robot picks it up with his shelving arm… and pokes me in the chest with it.
“What are you doing?” I demand, taking a step back.
Byron moves toward me.
I take three more steps backward.
Byron just keeps coming at me. He pokes me in the chest again with his shelving arm… and the odd red book he’s holding.
“Is that supposed to happen?” a concerned patron asks as I stumble backwards a little.
“No. Byron, stop!”
Of course, the robot can’t hear me.
I hold out my arms to block him. “What are you doing? Trying to kill me?” I mutter, even though I know it’s crazy talk. This isn’t I, Robot.
“He’s not trying to kill you,” a familiar voice rings out over the crowd, and Bryan walks into my sightline as his robot pokes me again.
My knees go weak and my voice comes out shaky. “What are you doing here? And what’s your robot doing?”
“He’s trying to give you something.”
Byron pokes me in the chest again, and I take the small book and stare down at it. It’s called My Heart Belongs to You. There’s no author name on it.
Being this close to Bryan, my heart races. “Why is Byron shoving this at me?”
“I programmed him to shelve this heart-shaped book in your chest. It’s filled with every passage and line I’ve read in the last three months that made me think of you.”
The crowd ahhs. I swallow hard and stare down at the book in my hands. I flip a few pages, and words like ‘love’ and ‘forever’ and ‘soulmate’ jump out at me before my eyes blur and I can’t read any more.
“I’m so glad I’m recording this,” a kid’s voice squeaks. “This is gonna go viral.”
My cheeks flush, but as soon as Bryan speaks, I forget all about the crowd.
“I’m so sorry I made the robot that took your job. And I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first before trying to fix it. I should never have sent people to watch your videos.”
“Yeah, you should have,” a teenager with purple hair says, oozing attitude. “Book Talk with Byron is the reason I started reading.”
“Me too,” adds a woman holding a toddler on her hip.
“I just bought some Bookish Perfume,” Millie, an elderly lady who never misses a book club meeting, says, tilting her neck so the man standing beside her can smell it. “I used your affiliate link, Jane.”
“Thanks for your support,” I tell her absently as I turn back to Bryan. He has his arm extended toward me, hand open as if I’m supposed to shake it. I reach for him and feel a magnetic connection.
“Hi. My name is Bryan. I fell in love with you and your passion for books nine months ago when I saw your very first video. I know I’m not perfect, but I’d like to believe that I can be perfect for you, if you’d give me a chance to prove it.”
“I…” I swallow nervously as I struggle to put my thoughts into words. “I’ve missed you, Bryan. I’m sorry I pushed you away. And I…” I take a deep breath. “I fell in love with you before we ever met. I read every single one of your quotes and looked at every photo of your abs?—”
“So did I!” a woman in the audience cries. A few others chime in agreement.
Bryan looks decidedly uncomfortable at their admission, and I start to smile. “I’m not perfect either, Bryan. But I would like to try.”
He whoops—far too loudly for a library, but with the size of our audience, we’ve abandoned those rules a long time ago—and then I’m in his arms.
With just one kiss, my entire body ignites. I wrap my arms around Bryan’s neck, forgetting all about the video I’m supposed to be filming—and our cheering audience—until someone gives a pointed cough.
“I’m going to have to ask you not to do that in the library,” Amelia says, but she’s grinning.
I turn to Bryan. “How about we do this Book Talk with Byron episode together? You did read the book, didn’t you?”
Bryan grins. “You know it.”