4. TrickTreat
CHAPTER 4
Trick or Treat
SCHADE
Fabulous, the local hot spot is thumping tonight. Me and my boys, Charlie and Theo throw back our Fireball shots while I nod my head to the steady beat from the bass.
I’m four shots in when Theo slaps me on the shoulder letting me know it’s time to head to stool seven.
“Y’all better have my back! Don’t you let this shit get fuzzy. I don’t want to look at this broad like she’s Merry Christmas tonight only to wake up and find it’s Trick or Treat!” I tell them both as they laugh. “For real, you get a good buzz, they all look like a fuckin’ present. Wake up in the morning, it’s a damn horror film from Halloween. No thank you.”
“Pussy is pussy, it’s all a present and pretty in pink.” Theo says while giving me one last shoulder squeeze.
Charlie takes a serious look to his face. “Fuck no it’s not. If her teeth are jacked up, you raise three fingers in the air and we’re swoopin’ in to save ya, brother!”
“What does a chick’s grill have to do with pussy?” Theo asks and I can’t help but wonder where Charlie came up with this myself.
“Look at it like this, broad doesn’t brush her teeth, she ain’t cleaning top to bottom.”
“Man, I’m buzzin’ don’t kill it with dirty pussy.”
Charlie shakes his head. “Had this chick once, name was Sylvia. Bitch was sucking my cock so hard and so good I thought she would suck my balls right off me. Till she released me with a pop just before I could blow my load.”
“Okay,” I say waving my hand for him to continue.
“She had to stop and fix her teeth, her fucking dentures! I was nineteen, Sylvia was only twenty and had full set top and bottom dentures.”
“Well that’s awkward as fuck, but what did that have to do with her pussy? They don’t make glue in pussy.” Theo says still not being shaken by the story. “At least she had options for a grill later in life. Bet she got one with bling.”
Charlie looks down. “Bitch asked me to return the favor. I couldn’t get past the odor and threw up all over her twat. I shoulda stopped at the teeth. Schade, if she’s got bad teeth, you get the fuck out.”
“Way to kill my mood, man.” I say before giving them each a quick handshake thing we do and settling in on bar stool seven.
If tonight wasn’t bad enough on it’s own now apparently dental hygiene is more than a clean mouth it represents a clean body too.