Chapter Seventeen #2
Wade reached out to hold her hand. He brought her knuckles to his mouth. “Some men break that cycle.”
“Strong men,” she agreed, looking at him.
He didn’t have to say that he’d been raised in a dysfunctional household, with parents who’d hated each other. He hadn’t learned how to show love, either, but he would never be like his father.
“Tell me how you fell in love with Natalie.”
He dropped her hand abruptly.
“I want to hear about a normal relationship.”
“We didn’t have a normal relationship.”
“What was it like?”
Wade didn’t feel comfortable sharing the details, but he wanted to please Mary. He wanted her naked again as soon as possible. “I felt protective toward her after Mike died. I checked in on her a lot. She’s very independent and hardworking, like you.”
“What does she do?”
“She has two jobs, bartender and librarian. She’s also a single mom to a very active kid. She’s got her hands full.”
Mary snuggled closer to him. “Go on.”
“I went over to her house on Mike’s birthday. I brought a bottle of his favorite tequila. We planned to hang out and reminisce. It was emotional, and we both drank too much. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed together.”
“Did you fall in love with her before that, or after?”
“After.”
“Because it was so amazing?”
“No.” He winced at the memory. “It was awkward, actually. She called me Mike in the middle of it.”
Mary sat up straighter. “What did you do?”
“I choked,” he said, shaking his head. “I hurried up and finished, and I left.”
“You finished?”
“What was I supposed to do? Not finish?”
“Did she enjoy it?”
“She did not.”
“She said that?”
“She didn’t have to. I could tell.”
Mary clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. “That’s terrible.”
He smiled wryly. “It was a huge blow to my ego.”
“How did you recover?”
“I avoided her for a few months. I thought she needed space. She obviously wasn’t over Mike, and I didn’t want to embarrass her by bringing it up. I figured we’d have plenty of time to make things right. Then she met Jason, and that was it.”
She gave him a sidelong glance. “If the sex had been good, would you have forgotten about her and moved on?”
Wade eased into a sitting position to put some space between them. Mary had once accused him of preferring a chase and a challenge. He didn’t want to probe into the possibility that he might have used and discarded Natalie if she hadn’t rejected him first.
“You’re ambitious. You don’t like to lose or fail.”
He rose to his feet, annoyed. “Who does?”
“You didn’t realize how you felt about her until the competition arrived.”
Wade rummaged around in his pack for his socks.
He put them on, along with his boots. She took the hint and started getting dressed.
He stared at her pale, slender back as she slipped into her bra.
Fresh arousal coursed through him. She donned her damp tank top and panties.
He came up behind her and slid his arm around her waist.
“You’re mad,” she whispered.
“No.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
She lifted her hand to the nape of his neck, stroking there.
He kissed her bare shoulder, where freckles stood out against her pale skin.
Then they broke apart to finish packing up.
By the time they reached his truck, he’d sorted through some of his feelings.
He tossed his backpack inside the cab and turned to face her. She studied him warily.
“I don’t know how to explain my relationship with Natalie,” he said. “I don’t know if I was really in love with her, or if we were both grieving Mike. I know I never felt this for her.” He made a gesture between them. “I never felt desire like this.”
She blinked as if stunned by his revelation. “I’ve never felt it before, either.”
He nodded in acknowledgment. They stared at each other for a tense moment.
“I shouldn’t have questioned your feelings for her. I guess I’m jealous.”
“She’s engaged to someone else, so don’t be.”
“I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.”
“Why?”
“I’m not very experienced. I’ve only been with one person, and he was kind of a dud. You’re on a whole different level.”
“You’re not going to disappoint me.”
“How do you know?”
“Because we just had the best sex of my life, and we didn’t even go all the way.”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. “I think you should lower your expectations before we go all the way.”
“As long as you call me by my name, we’re good.”
His self-deprecating humor brought a smile to her lips.
“I’m not hard to please.” He drew her into his arms and inhaled the scent of her hair. “I love the way you smell, and the way you taste.”
She drew in a sharp breath but didn’t pull away. He knew then that he was already half gone. He was in serious danger of losing his heart to her. He was tempted to fall to his knees and worship at her feet. She made him feel like a giddy teenager, dopey with desire and downright lovesick.
He turned on the radio for the drive home but kept it at a low volume in case he got struck by the urge to burst into song.
She gazed out the window, her expression neutral.
She was still worried about something, and he didn’t think it was their sexual compatibility.
She wasn’t an easy woman to get close to.
The trust he’d built with her would have to be continually reassessed and re-earned. He was okay with that.
They arrived at Nolan Ranch just before dusk. He parked next to his mother’s Subaru and glanced at Mary.
“Wynona’s home,” she murmured.
“Will you come to the barn?”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
“She’ll notice.”
“So?”
Shaking her head, she exited the vehicle.
The dogs raced around her in circles, greeting her with adoration and enthusiasm.
She stroked King’s shaggy neck, threw the ball for Daisy, and picked up Chico to cuddle before heading into the house.
Wade followed her into the kitchen, because he was thirsty, and he didn’t give a damn what his mother thought about their date.
Wynona was sitting at the kitchen table with a longneck.
She assessed the situation in a single glance.
“You two been rolling in the dirt together or what?”
Mary flushed at the question. Her clothes were damp and wrinkled, and her shoes dusty. “We went to the lake for a picnic.”
Wynona’s brows rose as she sipped her beer. Wade gave her a warning look and opened the fridge to grab his own bottle. He felt conflicted about drinking with his mother, but he figured every beer he consumed was one less for her.
“A man called for you,” Wynona said to Mary.
Her face froze, and Wade felt his shoulders grow tense.
“A man?”
“Said he had a truck to sell, if you’re still interested. I wrote down the number.”
Mary found the note by the phone. “Thanks.”
“You don’t need to buy some jalopy,” Wynona said, frowning. “I’ll give you the Subaru, free and clear.”
Instead of accepting this generous offer, or calling the seller back, Mary walked away. “I’m going to take a shower,” she said, and disappeared into the hallway.
Wynona waited for Mary to get out of earshot. Then she turned to Wade, her voice a sharp whisper. “If you run that girl off—”
“I’m not running her off,” Wade interrupted, sitting down at the table.
“What are you doing?”
He twisted the cap free and took a long drink. “It’s none of your business.”
“This is my house,” she retorted. “I have rules.”
Wade shook his head in disbelief. The idea of his free-spirit mother attempting to enforce rules was ludicrous. She hadn’t even done it when he was a kid, and he was thirty years old now. “I think that ship sailed, Mom.”
“Don’t you dare disrespect me, Wade Aaron Hendricks. I can still take a switch to you.”
“You never did, even when I deserved it.”
“I was too soft.”
He made a noncommittal sound. She hadn’t been too soft; she’d been too tipsy. “I need to talk to you about tomorrow.”
“What about it?”
“It’s Billy’s birthday.”
“I know.”
He raked a hand through his hair. She wasn’t making this easy. “I thought we could spend some time together after I get off work. We could go to dinner or something.”
She flinched at the suggestion, as if it pained her. “Dinner?”
“Sure. Wherever you want.”
“What if I want to go to the bar?”
Wade struggled to hide his annoyance. She knew it was the last place he’d choose. He refused to be around her when she was drinking heavily. She assumed he would say no. She was trying to avoid his company—as usual.
“I already made plans with Patty,” she said stubbornly.
“Fine. I’ll come along.”
To his surprise, her eyes filled with tears. “Okay then.”
Wade felt his own emotions rising to the surface, which was stupid. They’d agreed to an outing at her favorite dive bar. This was not progress, or a breakthrough, in their relationship. It was a concession to her illness. A step toward defeat.
Even so, he didn’t feel hopeless, and he couldn’t stop the warmth that spread through him at the sight of her tears.
She cared about his request to spend time with her.
She cared about him. And damn it, as much as he tried not to, he cared about her, too.
Despite all the hurt and anger between them, he loved her.
“See you tomorrow,” he said in a gruff voice and left the room.