Chapter Eighteen #2
She considered throwing the iced tea in his face.
Instead, she turned on her heel to leave.
Her senses were already on high alert, and the mention of Tripp triggered the need to flee.
Wade caught her before she reached the door.
When his hand settled on her arm, her mind went blank.
The iced tea slipped from her grasp and fell at her feet in a dull splash.
She barely registered the sensation. Although the plastic didn’t shatter, memories of other broken things assaulted her.
She felt the shards of the coffee table Tripp had thrown her into.
She felt the impact of his hard palm against her cheek.
She came back to herself after a few seconds. She was cowering by the open door with her arms over her head protectively. Wade knelt beside her, no longer touching her. He kept repeating her name.
She sat down on the concrete floor and hugged her knees to her chest. After a series of deep breaths, she’d calmed enough to meet his gaze.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Bad memories?”
She nodded, swallowing hard. Then she picked up the plastic glass she’d dropped. It was chipped and cracked. She swept the stray ice cubes into the cup and handed it to him. He put the cup away and returned with a bottle of water, which she sipped gingerly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I was being an asshole.”
She was more concerned about her weakness than his crude words. “I need to be stronger.”
He shook his head in disagreement but said nothing. When she could stand, she moved from the floor to the room’s only chair. He sat across from her on the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not right now.”
“Would you rather listen?”
“Okay.”
“You asked about me and Billy.”
“I did.”
“I hit him,” he said, studying his hands. “The last time I saw him, I hit him.”
Meredith took another sip of water.
“I’d just learned that he’d been harassing Natalie at work, and I knew my dad wouldn’t try to curb his behavior, so it was up to me.
I was on a routine patrol when I spotted his truck parked at this place we called the Lookout.
I pulled over to talk to him. He was partying with a teenaged girl, trying to act like a tough guy.
He insulted Natalie to my face. I was furious with him, and I … snapped.”
She waited for him to continue.
Wade studied his hands, which were clenched into fists.
“He wasn’t a threat to me, physically. He wasn’t as strong as me.
I didn’t have to hit him to get my point across.
I just wanted to. I wanted to make him pay for what he’d done, and I wanted to make him think twice about harassing another woman. ”
Meredith understood why Wade had struck Billy, and why he was tortured about it now. “You did what you felt was right.”
Wade lowered his head in defeat. “I didn’t bully him or steal his girlfriends like he said, but I wasn’t a good brother to him. We didn’t get along, even as kids. I wish I had a better memory for our last interaction.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to know what kind of man I am.”
“I already know what kind of man you are.”
“Let me finish,” he said gently. “I have a temper, and I don’t always control it.
I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve done things I won’t talk about.
If your ex comes around here, I’ll give him the beating he deserves.
I imagine punishing him in ways that are too dark to describe.
But I’d never hurt a woman, and I won’t hurt you. ”
“I trust you.”
“You don’t trust me,” he argued. “If you did, you wouldn’t be plotting your escape to Mexico while pretending to enjoy an afternoon with me.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I wasn’t plotting, and you know damned well I wasn’t pretending.”
He examined her face in silence. He’d opened up to her about some of his lowest moments.
He’d confessed to violent behavior and expressed his bloodlust for Tripp.
These statements should have bothered her.
Instead, she felt calmer now. He had flaws, like any other man, but he also had a conscience.
He cared about people and took responsibility for his actions.
His ability to self-reflect and make changes for the better was an incredible asset.
And she was hopelessly, helplessly in love with him.
Meredith squeezed her eyes shut, wishing the feeling away. It did not go away. When she opened them again, he was staring at her. She stared back at him hungrily. The intimacies they’d shared earlier made him even more attractive.
“Why do you want an old truck?” Wade asked.
“It’s all I can afford.”
“My mother offered you the Subaru.”
“I can’t take it.”
“You’d rather buy a piece of junk that will leave you stranded on the side of the road? You’re so desperate to get away from here that you can’t save your money and wait for something better?”
She rose to her feet and paced the length of the barn. “I found an article online about my disappearance.”
He leaned back, digesting this news.
“A family member reported me missing.”
“When?”
“Recently.”
“You’ve been missing over a year. What took them so long?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Two years ago, I wrote a note to my little sister saying I’d joined a religious group. A cult, basically. According to the article, they interviewed members of the group, and no one fitting my description had ever joined.”
“Does your ex think you joined?”
She gave a rueful smile. “He’s the one who made me write the letter. He wanted me to have no contact with my family.”
“Have you had contact with them?”
“No. It’s safer.”
“For you or them?”
“Both.”
“Can I see the article?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Was your ex mentioned?”
“No, but I assume he’s been questioned.”
“Do the authorities suspect foul play?”
“I don’t know.”
Wade stood up and grabbed his own bottle of water. “You described this guy as a loser. A starving artist.”
“He’s not starving anymore.”
“He has money?”
“Yes.”
“From where?”
She didn’t answer. He was getting too close to the truth, too close to guessing everything. “Travis will do whatever it takes to silence me, and the article put me back on his radar. I’m not planning to leave, exactly. I just want to be ready. I want to be prepared.”
“You have a younger sister.”
Meredith nodded. “Eight years younger.”
“Like me and Billy.”
“Yes.”
“Is she the one who reported you missing?”
“Probably.”
“Has he threatened retaliation against her?”
She looked away, unwilling to say more.
“He belongs in prison.”
“For what? I have no proof. It’s my word against his, and I’m nobody.”
“You’re not—”
“I am,” she said, interrupting him. “I’m a high school dropout. I have no permanent address, no skills, and no prospects. I can barely read, but even I know you need evidence to charge someone with a crime.”
“What about medical records, or witnesses?”
“I didn’t go to the doctor for any of my injuries, and I never told anyone. If I report him, it’s more likely that I’ll end up in jail. I stole a pair of his diamond cuff links before I left and pawned them for bus fare.”
“Diamond cuff links?”
She fell silent, swamped with memories. Tripp’s success had changed the dynamic between them. The money and power had fed the monster inside him. He’d become obsessed with controlling his image and controlling her.
“Please,” she said, holding up one hand. “I can’t give any more details.”
Wade took another drink of water and nodded.
He respected her boundaries, which she appreciated.
She also appreciated the play of muscles beneath his thin T-shirt and the fit of his jeans on his lean hips.
Though he’d showered, he hadn’t shaved. She could see the fine grains of stubble on his jaw, golden in the fading sunlight.
“I understand if you want to break things off. Maybe it would be best for both of us to avoid getting attached.”
His gaze searched hers. “Too late.”
Tears pressed behind her eyes. For a woman who rarely cried, she was turning into a regular watering pot around him.
She took a deep breath and blinked away the moisture, but not before he noticed.
He stepped forward and framed her face with his hand.
His thumb traced the scar beneath her lower lip.
“Promise you won’t leave without saying goodbye,” he said.
“As long as you promise you won’t follow me.”
His gaze darkened with frustration, because they were in an impossible situation. No agreement could be reached here. “Goddamn it, Mary,” he growled. “You’re asking me not to care if you disappear, and I can’t do that!”
“Meredith,” she said, looking up at him.
“What?”
“My name. It’s Meredith.”