Chapter Thirteen
In the doctor's waiting room on Wednesday morning, Reaves made a face when he realized he was perching on the edge of the plastic chair—sitting the way he'd noticed Alara so often did.
In her case, he'd assumed it meant she wasn't sure about staying, that she couldn't settle in. That wasn't the case for him. He'd meant what he'd told her—he wasn't going anywhere. He sure as hell wasn't about to leave this spot until she came back out through Henry's office door.
He felt as though he had more insight now. Maybe she was like him. She didn't perch because she expected to take off at any moment. It was because she was on edge, not knowing what was wrong with her.
He looked at the office door again. She'd been in there a while now.
He forced himself to sit back in the chair. She'd scared him last night, talking about what would happen if… No. Even now, he wouldn't let himself go near that thought. Of course whatever was wrong with her would be curable. It had to be.
He looked around the waiting room. It was busy this morning, and there were a few familiar faces.
No one he knew well, but people he'd seen before.
A young mom sitting in the corner with a boy of maybe three or four on her lap gave him a warm smile.
Maybe he knew her from somewhere; he didn't remember.
His own smile felt forced and mechanical.
She had her child here, at the doctor's office.
It made him wonder when Zia had last seen a doctor.
He was going to have to talk to Ollie, see if Alara's insurance through the company would cover Zia as well.
If not, he'd pay for it himself. He had no idea how that worked, but there had to be a way.
He leaned back in the chair and made himself take slow, deep breaths. One thing at a time. And the first hurdle was finding out what was wrong with Alara.
It didn't look good. He wasn't stupid; her symptoms added up to any number of scary issues. Headaches, losing weight, being tired all the time…
He didn't want to think about it. He'd done a good job of refusing to let his mind go near worst-case scenarios for weeks now.
He couldn't crumble just when they were about to find out the truth.
He swallowed hard. No matter what the truth turned out to be, he'd be there with her every step of the way.
He jumped to his feet when Dr. Ambrose's door opened and Alara came out.
The relief of seeing her made him smile—but she didn't smile back. She only glanced at him before fixing her eyes on the main door and heading straight for it. He stood frozen for a second, his stomach dropping as she walked straight past him.
He hurried after her. Clara gave him a puzzled look, but he didn't stop.
He caught up with Alara outside, where she was standing, visibly shaking. He went straight to her and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest, and he clamped his hand around the back of her head.
He wanted to be patient, but he couldn't. "Alara, what did he say? What's going on?"
Her shoulders heaved as she took in a deep breath before looking up at him.
"What is it?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It's nothing. I'm fine. It's nothing."
He'd imagined this moment—pictured her telling him she was fine, that everything was going to be okay. But her whole demeanor made a lie out of the words.
"Tell me more." His voice shook as he asked. "What are you hiding? You don't need to hide anything from me, remember?"
She shook her head. "Honestly, Reaves, it's nothing. It's… I'm not even ill."
"Alara, we both know that's not true," he said gently.
"I know. But not like that. It's…" Tears rolled down her cheeks and she buried her face in his chest again.
He had to struggle to hear the muffled words. All he could make out was something about iron deficiency, anemia, B12 deficiency, depletion. He started to feel a little more hopeful—until she looked up and said, "He said all I need is infusions and intramuscular injections and…"
She dropped her head again and he hugged her to his chest.
He couldn't make sense of it. Was it nothing, or did she need infusions? He just didn't understand.
He rested his chin on top of her head and let her have the moment she obviously needed. He stared at the building and tightened his grip on her when he noticed Henry looking out the window at them.
When Henry raised his hand and motioned that he'd come outside, Reaves held her even tighter, fighting the instinct to bundle her into his Land Cruiser and drive away before Henry could come and tell him something he didn't want to hear.
~ ~ ~
Alara wished she could stay here like this, with her face buried in Reaves's jacket, his arms around her, while the cold hard truth crashed down on her. She was such a freaking failure.
She looked up at him when he tensed. "What is it?"
"I thought I should give you fair warning. Henry spotted us through the window and he's on his way out."
"Oh." She sniffed and stepped back from him, brushing her thumbs under her eyes. "He's going to think I'm so stupid. There's really nothing wrong with me, Reaves."
He just stared at her, looking confused.
"I want to ask why you need infusions if there's nothing wrong with you.
But I figure Henry's about to explain that.
" He curled an arm around her waist again.
"I'll leave you to talk to him by yourself if you want.
But… since he's coming out here, and since I'm struggling to understand, would you mind if I listen in? "
She closed her eyes against the tears, before opening them again and nodding. He deserved to know what was going on—even though it meant he'd get to hear what a failure she was, right from Dr. Ambrose's own mouth.
"There you are."
They both turned as Dr. Ambrose approached, still wearing a kind smile even now.
"I'm sorry, my dear. I thought you were upset when you left the office. And then when I saw the two of you out here, I wanted another word, if I may." He glanced at Reaves.
She nodded. "It's okay. I don't mind him hearing."
"Then why don't we go back inside my office for a few minutes?"
She tensed at that. He'd already gone out of his way to squeeze her into his busy schedule. "I don't need to take up more of your time. You have your real patients to see. And I know you're busy this afternoon—Clara said."
"You, my dear, are a very real patient. The others in the waiting room are here for a clinic, not to see me. I have all the time we need. So what do you say? Want to come back in and talk this through? I'd like to be sure you both understand before you leave."
She glanced at Reaves, and he nodded.
Once they were back inside Dr. Ambrose's office, she took a seat across the desk from him. Reaves sat down beside her and reached for her hand, clasping it on top of his thigh.
"I feel as though you stopped hearing me earlier, and I want to make sure that we're clear."
"Okay."
"When I talked about chronic undernutrition, that wasn't an accusation."
She nodded again and wouldn't meet Reaves's gaze, even though she could feel him looking at her.
"Let's start again at the beginning, shall we?"
"Okay." She had a feeling he was doing this for Reaves's benefit, but that was probably a good thing for both of them.
"The bloodwork came back showing severe iron deficiency anemia, and also B12 deficiency.
Now, I think you understood, but I'll say it again so there's no doubt.
We're not talking about cancer. We're not talking about anything fatal.
We're talking about a body and a system that have simply run out of fuel. "
He smiled kindly. "From what I understand, you work hard. In addition to being mom to a very lively six-year-old girl. And from what we discussed earlier, taking care of yourself hasn't been your top priority."
She dropped her chin to her chest. Taking care of Zia was her top priority. It had been since the day she'd found out she was pregnant.
"We've already discussed the fixes. We'll do iron infusions and B12 shots.
Caroline, our nurse, will do the first of those for you on Friday.
Then we'll see you back again on Tuesday for another B12 shot.
And next Friday, we'll do a second infusion and a third shot and go from there.
In a month, we'll run your blood again and see where things stand.
But I fully expect we'll be able to move to maintenance B12 every three months after that. "
He rested his elbows on the desk and leaned forward. "I think the prescription I already gave you—the most important one—is the one you'll struggle with the most."
She nodded mutely, and he turned to Reaves. "There's no need for you to look so horrified. In fact, I'll be depending on you and your father to help administer this prescription."
Reaves sat up a little straighter. "I'll do anything."
She squeezed his hand tight. She didn't deserve this man.
"And from what your father told me on Sunday, I know that he feels the same way." He smiled at Alara. "About both you and your daughter." His smile faded. "And forgive me—I acted with the best of intentions, but I'm afraid that moving your appointment forward only added to your concern, didn't it?"
She nodded.
"I probably shouldn't admit this, but it was a courtesy to a friend. When Charles told me about you and your daughter, and how he thinks the world of you both, I wanted to get you in sooner."
Alara could still only nod.
He addressed Reaves. "The most important part of the prescription is rest and diet."
Alara braced herself, waiting for Reaves to let go of her hand and demand to know why she'd made such a big fuss over nothing.
Instead, he squeezed it again. "We've been doing our best with that, haven't we?"
When she finally turned to meet his gaze, she saw nothing but care and concern in his eyes.
"You have. You and your dad and Faye have been feeding me so well—me and Zia. And no one minds when I fall asleep, and everyone tells me to get all the rest I can. It's me that's been screwing up. You've all been doing everything you can."
"Hey." He cut her off. "You're the one who's been doing the best you can. You've just had to do so much all by yourself for so long. It's not surprising that you'd get run down, is it? I'd be run down if I tried to do everything that you do."
She shrugged, not knowing what to say—especially with the way Dr. Ambrose was smiling as he watched them.
"Have I explained everything more clearly this time?"
She nodded, feeling bad. "You explained everything clearly in the first place.
And thank you, you've been so good to me.
I just… I'm mad at myself, if I'm honest. I did this to myself.
" She shook her head. "And then worse, everyone else has not only had to step up to help me, but I've had everyone worried as well.
" She glanced at Reaves. "I know I have. I'm so sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. Why would you be sorry when we just found out that everything that's going on is fixable?"
Dr. Ambrose nodded. "He's right, you know.
And one thing I will say is, this happens more than you'd think.
It's very common, really. It's not a failure on your part.
If anything, it's a measure of a loving mom who hasn't always had a support system.
" He gave her a kind smile. "But it seems to me that if you can accept it, you'll have all the support you need now. "
She gave Reaves a small smile and murmured, "I know."
She pushed her chair back. "So basically, I just have to eat and rest and come back for infusions and injections."
Dr. Ambrose chuckled. "Yes. But don't list it like they're items you can check off and be done with and carry on as you were.
It's an easy fix, Alara, but it's not a fast fix.
Even though we'll get you off to a fast start with the treatment, it'll be a couple of weeks before you notice a difference.
It won't be an overnight change, but you will start to feel better.
" He frowned. "And since I won't see you again beforehand, I should warn you now.
The first iron infusion on Friday may leave you feeling worse, not better.
Just for a day or two." He glanced at Reaves.
"So. Rest, eat well, no stress, no anxiety.
This weekend, nothing more taxing than relaxing and taking it easy.
" He smiled. "And let yourself be taken care of. "
He made it sound so easy. But resting, and letting herself be taken care of? That was probably the bitterest pill to swallow.
He checked his watch. "Now. Any more questions? Anything at all? I don't want you leaving here worried or unsure about anything."
Alara shook her head, but Reaves leaned forward. "When you say rest, do you mean absolute rest? Like no working, restricted movement, hanging around on the sofa all day?"
She shot him a quick scowl, and Dr. Ambrose laughed when he spotted it.
"I don't think we need to be that severe, no. But certainly reduced hours at work. It's not physical work, is it?"
She shook her head. If she reduced her hours any more, she'd barely be doing anything, and this wasn't the time for that. "No, I sit at a desk. That's fine." She shot Reaves a meaningful look. "And I don't think cutting back at the moment is something any of us want."
"The new distributors will understand if we need to delay a while. You're more important."
She wasn't going to call him out on it in front of Dr. Ambrose, but that was the craziest thing he'd ever said.
"I think that's everything," she said, and started to get to her feet. "Thank you so much for this. And thank you for seeing me early."
He met her gaze. "You're welcome. And I'm sorry if it caused undue concern. Caroline will see you on Friday, and I'll stop in to check on you while you're here, in case you have any more questions."
"I have a question," said Reaves.
"What's that?"
"Will I be able to stay with her while they do the infusions?"
Alara finally relaxed a little when Dr. Ambrose winked at her and said, "I think he's asking the wrong person, don't you?"