Chapter 14 #2
I walk up to the bar and wedge myself between a slim blonde who’s chatting up a humid-looking middle-aged man in a tropical shirt and a group of dudes shouting at the soccer game playing on the TV over the bar. The bartender sends me a nod of greeting and heads my way.
“Hi, Derek. Could I get a mango juice, please?” I glance over at Alec, the Tremblays, and the rest of my little posse as they’re chatting and laughing together. “Actually, give me another round for my friends too, please.”
“Coming right up, love.” He shoots me a wink and pivots to get my drinks.
“Oh, hello again.” The blonde next to me has lost her sweaty admirer, I realize as I swivel my head in her direction and am met with Honey Carlisle’s shrewd gaze. “Anna, is it?”
“Ella.” I return her tight smile.
Up close, she’s as flawless as she was at the pool, all cheekbones and polish.
She’s wearing a breezy white linen dress that shows off her tan and strappy leather sandals with a big designer logo on them.
Everything about the woman screams “I’m expensive” and she’s looking at me as if she knows I’m more comfortable shopping the discount racks.
She did the same assessment then, the quick once-over that took in my flamingo towel and drugstore sunscreen and drew her conclusions.
“Fun night,” she says, nodding vaguely in the direction of the limbo bar and my group on the beach. “You always look like you’re having the best time.”
“I try.” I make myself sound open and friendly, giving her the benefit of the doubt, even when the back of my neck is prickling the way it does when a customer is about to send their steak back for the third time.
“So, how long have you known Alec?” She traces the rim of her glass with a red-tipped fingernail. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind.” I’m not sure why the lie slides off my tongue so quickly. Maybe because I don’t want this woman to suspect I’m rattled by her. Maybe I don’t want her to see just how emotionally invested in him I truly am. “We met on the flight here.”
“Really?” She draws back in surprise. “How interesting.”
“Yes, it has been.”
She’s dying to ask more, I can tell. I can also tell that she’s trying to work through exactly what Alec and I are to each other. “I thought maybe you two were together when I saw you at the pool a few days ago. But then Alec said you weren’t, so…”
She lets the remark hang, but I don’t take the bait. I really don’t want to discuss Alec and me, least of all with her. It’s obvious she’s got her eye on him, and I have no right to be staking out any territory. Even though I want to.
Derek slides my drink order toward me on a tray. “That’s a lot to carry. You want me to bring this over for you?”
I shake my head as I pay the tab. “Nope, I’ve got it. Five years waiting tables has to be good for something.”
He chuckles. “Enjoy, Ella.”
“Thanks.” I take the tray, balancing it on my open palm the way I would carry four breakfast specials and a pot of coffee.
“You’re a waitress?” Honey’s question has about as much subtlety as a sledgehammer.
“Yep.” I stare at her, daring her to say whatever is sitting on her tongue like a bug she accidentally inhaled. “If you ever make it down to Sedona, come see me at the Red Rock Diner.”
The smile she’s been trying to hold in place melts into a bewildered sneer. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
I watch her judgy gaze flick away from me the moment before I feel a warm, strong hand come to rest at the small of my back. Alec.
“Let me help you with this.”
Ordinarily, I’d tell him I was fine. But something evil in me really wants Honey to see Alec come to my rescue, even though I don’t need him to. “Thanks. That would be great.”
Alec doesn’t even acknowledge Honey. He takes the tray of drinks off my hand and carries it with both of his. “Ready?”
I nod. “Mm-hm.”
Once we’re away from the bar area and heading across the sand, he glances at me. “What was that all about back there? It looked like you were under interrogation.”
“Almost.” I arch a brow at him. “I think Honey has you in her sights.”
He scoffs. “She’s not my type.”
“No? What is your type, then?”
He looks at me and doesn’t say anything for what feels like the longest time. “I’m still figuring it out.”
We arrive back at the bonfire and distribute the drinks. Everyone is caught up in conversation and laughter as the music plays in the background and the shouts and applause carries over from the limbo game.
Pierre murmurs to Colette in French. Jess catches my eye across the fire and gives me a look that says everything words would ruin. They all see it. Whatever Alec and I look like from outside this circle, everyone around this bonfire sees us as a couple.
The party winds down in slow degrees. The Tremblays leave first, Colette pressing her lips to both my cheeks and whispering goodnight. Jess and Mike follow them back to the resort. Kai waves as he lopes off to join some of the other resort workers at the bar. The fire burns lower.
Alec seems to have drifted closer to me. I can feel the heat of him as he leans toward me. “I was thinking of walking back along the beach, instead of through the resort.” A pause. “The path by the water is longer, but if you’re up for it—”
“Sure. Let’s go.”
We leave the bonfire behind and the shift is immediate.
Steel pan music fading to surf. Firelight giving way to moonlight on dark water.
Sand cool and loose under my bare feet. His arm brushes mine as we walk, and neither of us adjusts the distance.
The warmth of him beside me in the dark is steady, constant, a presence I can feel along my entire left side.
We talk about the bonfire. About Jess, who reminds me of Lisa.
About Pierre, who Alec says is the kind of man he’d have no idea how to be, which is such an honest, unexpected thing to say that it quiets me for a few steps.
Then the conversation drifts the way conversations do when it’s dark and the ocean is right there and the lack of eye contact makes honesty easier.
I tell him about growing up in Hoboken. My mom working reception at a medical office, my dad pulling doubles at the plant.
Two little sisters I haven’t seen in too long.
No college, because working was more urgent than learning, and by the time I could have gone back, waitressing had become the thing I was good at instead of the thing I was doing until something better came along.
He listens. Not the distracted kind of listening where someone is only waiting for their turn. Real listening, the kind where the silence between my sentences feels held, not empty.
“After Jake and I broke up, I moved to Sedona on my own,” I say.
Alec smiles. “Right. Pointed at a map with your eyes closed and landed in Arizona.”
I smile at him. “You remember what I told you on the plane?”
“Of course.” He grins. “It was kind of hard to forget.”
That grin. He almost never does it. When he does, his whole face opens up and I lose track of what I was about to say because my brain is too busy replaying the way that mouth felt on mine on the veranda.
The pressure of his hand at my back. The half-second where he kissed me like he meant it before he remembered he wasn’t supposed to.
He glances at me and I hope to God he can’t read the direction of my thoughts.
“Choosing a place at random isn’t something I would ever do in my life,” he says.
“No? Maybe you should try it sometime.”
He chuckles. “New York is my home. The most random thing I might pick is my sock color in the morning. No, that’s not even true. I don’t leave that to chance either.”
I stare at him. “That’s actually a sad thing to admit. You know that, right?”
He shrugs. “I like stability. I like order. I’m not big on surprises.”
“Then you must’ve really loved getting stuck with me this week.
” I brave another look at him and find him watching me.
Not smiling now, just looking. The full weight of it lands low in my belly and stays there, but I try to play it off with a laugh.
“Surprise! You’re rooming with a woman who runs on caffeine and chaos. ”
“It’s not so bad.”
His voice is so low when he says it. Almost quiet enough to be meant for himself.
My whole body responds to it, stomach tightening, skin flushing hot under my dress despite the breeze coming off the water.
The space around us feels charged and on the knife’s edge of something neither of us is willing to acknowledge.
Our hands are loose at our sides, fingers occasionally touching as we continue our stroll in the dark.
I keep walking because if I stop I’m going to turn toward him, and if I turn toward him I’m going to close the distance between us, and if I close that distance I won’t want to stop at kissing.
We’re heading back to a suite with one bed.
The thought burns at the base of my skull like a lit fuse.
“What about you, Ella? Are you sorry you took this trip now that you’re forced to spend a lot of it with me? I know I can be a dark cloud.”
“No, you’re not.” He arches a brow at my polite denial. “Okay, you’re not always a dark cloud. You were fun tonight. Last night was fun too.”
He grunts. “It was. Both nights. You make it fun.”
His praise warms me more than he can possibly realize. I feel the walls start to come down between us, inch by inch. I’m beginning to trust him, which is something I thought Jake had broken in me. Alec is different. I feel safe with him in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. Maybe never.
“Can I tell you a secret, Alec?” He holds my gaze solemnly, and nods. “I haven’t been totally honest with you.”
A look chases over his features. Almost a flinch. “What about?”
I take a deep breath, then blow it out. “I’m rich.”
“Oh?”
I nod. “Three weeks ago I bought a couple of lottery tickets on my way home from work and one of them was a winner.” I let the words sink in, because it still feels strange to say it out loud. “I won two million dollars.”
Alec goes quiet for a moment. “That’s… a lot of money.”
“I know, right? It’s an obscene amount of money. Especially to someone like me, who’s always had to scrape and save and still not have enough.”
“And that’s how you ended up here, flying first class and booked into the best suite in the resort.”
“First real vacation of my life. First time I’ve done something for myself that didn’t come with a budget asterisk.”
He’s silent for a few steps. Waves rush up over our feet, warm and foamy, then pull back. I’m acutely aware of him beside me in the quiet, his steady presence while I’m cracked open like this, and the closeness feels like standing near a fire with no skin on.
“I haven’t told anyone,” I say, quieter now.
“Lisa knows, obviously. But here? At the resort? I just...” I trail off because the words aren’t polished yet.
I haven’t had this money long enough to have a philosophy about it.
All I have is the raw, unsorted feeling of being the same person I was a month ago in a life that no longer matches.
“I don’t know who I am with it yet. And I guess I’m scared that once people know, that’s all I’ll be.
Lottery girl. Not Ella who’s good with people and tips well because she knows what a tough shift feels like. Just the waitress who got lucky.”
His footsteps slow. I slow with him. The waves wash up around our ankles.
“But you told me,” he says.
I glance at him. “And you told me about your heart.”
He’s paused now, turned so that he’s facing me under the moonlight. There’s a charged moment between us where I think he’s going to kiss me. I want him to kiss me—so desperately I almost say the words out loud.
But then he slowly shakes his head and glances down at the sand. “Come on, let’s walk back now.”
We turn back toward the resort. The lights glow in the distance, and we walk toward them side by side. His hand hangs close to mine, and every few steps our fingers almost brush in a way that feels deliberate on both sides and acknowledged by neither.
He hasn’t said “roommate” once all night. Not at the bonfire, not on the walk. And the word I’d use for what we feel like right now isn’t one I’m ready to say. But when his knuckle grazes mine, just barely, I don’t pull my hand away.
And neither does he.