39. Epilogue - Siena
Epilogue - Siena
T HREE MONTHS LATER
“Good morning, baby,” I whisper, nuzzling into Matti’s warm, naked body. He’s sound asleep, despite the sunlight pouring in through the open balcony doors, the ephemeral cream curtains billowing in the ocean breeze.
We’ve been in a fully staffed villa on a private beach in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat in the south of France for the past two days, a surprise date that turned into a long weekend.
Without opening his eyes, he slides his arms around me, pulling me closer. His velvety skin emanates heat, his body hard and comforting at the same time. I press my lips to his chest softly, dropping little kisses as I work my way up to his neck.
Matti groans and I can feel his hard cock pressing against my leg. “Mmm, my favorite way to wake up.”
Sliding his hand over my large pregnant belly and down to my ass, he squeezes softly, then brushes down over my thigh, pulling my leg over him. Snaking his fingers between my legs, he drags his finger tip along my wet slit and groans again, but I take hold of his wrist, stopping him.
“My love?”
His eyes pop open, and he looks up at me in alarm. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”
I smile and let go of his hand to cup his cheek. “I’m fine. We’re fine.”
He exhales sharply, relief flickering across his face, immediately replaced by concern. “What’s going on? Do you need to go home?”
I pause for a moment, looking at his beautiful face. His blue eyes that are as clear as the water outside our door, that mouth that kisses me like no one has ever kissed me before. That strong jawline, his thick hair that has grown a little longer since we first met.
It’s been less than a year since I first laid eyes on him, but he gets more breathtaking every time I look at him. Not just because he’s physically beautiful, although he is, but because he spends every waking minute protecting, providing for, and loving me—and now, our baby.
“You didn’t have to do all this, Matti,” I say softly, smiling.
“You don’t like it here?” He frowns, looking around the room. “We can go to another villa or were you thinking of going to a big city, like Marseille?”
I put my finger on his lips to quiet him. “No, nothing like that. It’s just, you do so much to take care of me. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this.”
Matti’s expression softens, and he presses my finger harder to his lips, kissing it gently. “Siena, you don’t have to do anything to ‘deserve’ me taking care of you. You’re mine. You have been since the second I laid eyes on you. It’s that simple. ”
“So it could have been anyone who fought with you on the dock that day? If my cousin had shown up, you would be with her right now?” I’m teasing him, my voice light, but deep inside, it’s been bothering me. Why me?
Matti’s face darkens. “I’ve been with a lot of women in my life, Siena, but that just means that I knew right away when I saw you that you were different. You’re gorgeous, obviously—”
I don’t think it’s obvious, but okay.
“—but you had a fragility to you underneath your tough exterior that grabbed me by the throat and wouldn’t let go.
You were about to jump a cop if I didn’t stop you!
When I saw what you did to fight for your sister—putting yourself in harm’s way with me, Valentina, Aurelio—I knew that you were like me, that there’s nothing you won’t do for someone you love.
And though I didn’t realize it for a long time, the truth is that I wanted you to love me like that.
Siena, you killed your brother to protect our baby.
What kind of man wouldn’t do anything and everything to make sure that you’re taken care of for the rest of your life? ”
I’m speechless and cup his face with my hand, hoping that my expression says everything for me.
He smiles to himself, then pulls me on top of him, holding my hand. “I did know when I first saw you that I wanted to fuck you. And I was right about that: you’re pretty good in bed.”
I swat at him and roll my eyes. “Very romantic. Glad to see that you hit on my best qualities: murderous and sleazy.”
He squeezes me to him, laughing, and I melt into him, his strong arms warm and tight around me. “Sleazy, but not easy. You were made for me, kitten. ”
The baby is growing bigger every day, my belly swelling more and more.
Dr. Rossi says I’m due in the next few months, but it’s just an estimate.
For all I know, this little girl was conceived while I was shackled to the wall the first time I had sex with Matti at the Edge.
Now, that’s a conception story I’m sure she’ll never want to hear.
I thought my birth control implant was effective for five years. Turns out, that’s not the case. I hadn’t had sex in so long that I had no way of knowing that it wasn’t doing the job and probably hadn’t been for a long time.
As I’m wondering if maybe I’m too heavy to be laying on top of Matti, there’s a movement in my belly. I jerk my head up to look at Matti, my wide-eyed gaze meeting his. He felt it, too.
“What the fuck was that?” he asks, panic in his voice.
I shake my head and slide off of him so that I’m laying on my side beside him. We both silently stare down at my belly. It happens again: a visible little bump appears as the baby moves inside me, and I shriek.
“He moved!” he gasps. “Is he supposed to do that?”
“I guess. I mean, at a certain point, right? Do you think I put too much weight on her?” I hold my hand to my belly, waiting to see if she moves again.
Matti looks up at me, his eyes big. “Wait. Did you say ‘her’? We’re having a girl?”
Fuck. I hadn’t told him that I had Dr. Rossi find out the sex for me. Matti kept calling the baby a boy, and I was nervous about telling him. Definitely didn’t want him to find out because I slipped up.
I bite my bottom lip nervously. “We’re having a girl. Is that okay? I know you wanted a boy— ”
Matti cuts me off, crashing his mouth hard into mine. When he pulls back, we’re both breathless. He grins at me, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling. He whispers, “We’re having a girl. Holy shit.”
I nod, tears welling up. I’ve never seen that look in his eyes before: pure, unadulterated joy. I can’t believe that this incredible man is looking at me like this. “We’re having a girl,” I whisper back.
He presses his forehead to mine, and I bring both of my hands up to his chest, feeling his heart pounding.
Closing my eyes, I speak without thought. “I love you, Matti.”
He pulls back from me, his eyes searching my face. “You do?”
I nod, a tear escaping down my cheek. “You didn’t know?”
“I knew,” he says, wiping away my tear. “I just didn’t know if you knew. You’ve never said it. At least not sober.”
Swallowing hard, I try to will myself to stop crying, but my hormones betray me and more tears come. “I know. And I should have. I should have told you a long time ago. I’m sorry.”
“Kitten, don’t apologize. You’re mine. You’re having my baby.”
He rolls away and opens the nightstand drawer. When he turns back, there’s a ring in his hand—a platinum band with the biggest square-cut diamond I’ve ever seen. “And I’m hoping—baby, I’m praying—that you’ll be my wife.”
I stare at the ring, then back at him. “You’re asking me? You always just call me your wife. I didn’t think you would ever —”
“Siena, you are the fucking light of my life. I would be in total darkness without you. I never saw myself marrying anyone before I met you, and once I found you, I couldn’t imagine my life without you.
“I should have asked you to marry me a long time ago. I should have set up a huge surprise in front of all your friends and family and asked you when you were dressed up in your favorite dress and given you the moment you deserve.” He clears his throat and looks down at the ring in his hand.
“For the first time in my life, I was truly scared. Because if I proposed to you and you said ‘no,’ I knew you would leave me. And that would fucking gut me, Siena.”
I nod slowly. I know exactly what he means, the feeling he’s describing. It’s how I felt when he sent me back to my house after what happened at Aurelio’s office, when I thought he was done with me.
“Matti, I was scared, too. Scared that you would send me away again. Or that you would disappear for weeks like you did in the beginning, and I wouldn’t hear from you, much less be able to find you. Holding back on saying ‘I love you’ felt like the only way I could protect myself.”
He hangs his head for a moment, then looks back at me, meeting my gaze with sadness in his eyes.
“I’m sorry you ever felt like you needed to protect yourself from me, Siena.
I know I’m a selfish asshole sometimes. I know I’m always going to piss you off.
But I will never hurt you, I will never leave you, and I will make sure that no one ever lays a finger on you ever again. You or our little baby girl.”
“But you’re asking me now because…” I say, watching his face as he looks up again, meeting my gaze with a slow nod.
“I’m asking you now because you finally admitted that you love me.
I’m praying that this means you know that we are meant to be together, and that marriage is just an acknowledgment of that fact.
Not something new, but a naming of something that has been true since the very beginning.
” His eyes twinkle. “And it’s hard not to want to marry you when I’ve been staring at those beautiful tits for two days straight.
Jesus Christ, they were big before, but now—”
“But you brought the ring with you,” I laugh, pulling the sheets up over my chest and wiping away the tears that won’t stop coming. “You didn’t know I was going to say ‘I love you.’ I didn’t know.”
Matti nods, his face serious. “I’ve been carrying this ring around with me ever since Vin brought it over the day he brought the money from the Luminous job.”
Taking another deep breath, he blows it out slowly. I’ve never seen him look truly nervous before.
He stands, wrapping a sheet around himself, and comes to my side of the bed, pulling me to the edge so that I am facing him. Holding both of my hands in one of his, he holds the ring out to me as he gets on one knee in front of me.
“Siena, there is no one else in this world I want by my side, no woman who will ever compare to you. Will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I nod slowly, trying to hold back a sob. One look at his worried face, though, I realize that even now, he’s scared of what I’m going to say.
“Yes, my love. Yes, I’ll marry you.” I pull my hands out of his and throw myself into his arms.
Squeezing me tightly, he stands up, taking me with him. Our sheets fall away as he swings me around, burying his face in my neck. “Fuck, Siena, baby. ”
I can feel his heart pounding, his chest pressed against mine, as he devours my neck.
He lays me down on the bed underneath him, and takes my hand, watching me watch him slide the ring onto my finger.
Holding himself up on his forearms, he caresses my breasts and runs his hand over my belly. He looks down at my swollen stomach, then back up at me, his eyes shining. “Beautiful.”
I wrap my legs around his waist and throw my arms around his neck, kissing him hard. He returns my kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth, and I feel his cock hard against me. I grind my wet pussy against him in response. “Do I still get to be your whore if I’m your wife?”
Matti pushes inside me, making us both moan together.
“For the rest of your life, kitten. Every fucking day for the rest of our lives.”