Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
ETHAN
I'm taken aback by Jamie's certainty that he won't be called to the All Star Game. After all, the league guarantees a player from each team and he's by far our best. Who else would they tap – Alexei? Me?
God forbid.
Meanwhile, Jamie's putting up numbers that are almost single-handedly dragging us from the depths of the league to the top of our division.
But the thing I hate most about what he said?
The ring of truth in it. After the draft, the League has done everything possible to keep talk about Jamie to a minimum.
No special events, no celebrations. Hell, I haven't even heard his name talked about in the race for Rookie of the Year, and with his performance so far this year, he should stand a decent chance.
As the bus rolls up to the hotel, the guys shift around us, checking that they haven't left their phones or wallets behind. We've still got an hour or two before curfew, and I'm sure some of them are planning to make the most of it.
Personally? I'd like to stay in.
I wish I could say that I volunteered to split with Jamie out of a sense of selfless devotion to the team. And sure, that's part of it – I was happy to ease things for Ramsey when he already seems on edge about his return to Calgary.
But truthfully? It's been almost two weeks since our hookup after the team trip to the bar. We've exchanged a few...interesting texts since then, but last week's East Coast road trip really made it hard to connect in person.
If he even wants to connect in person again. This is why I don't do repeats. Why am I sitting here angsting over Jamie like some lovesick teenager when I could just jump on an app and get myself taken care of?
Just as I convince myself that I'm really gonna do it, he looks back at me from where he's about to step off the bus. A blonde curl falls over his eye, and I want nothing more than to push it back out of his face.
“You coming, Cap?”
Fuck.
In the room, things are awkward. Jamie kicks off his shoes and puts his wallet on top of the dresser before sitting on the end of the bed he picked. I push my own shoes off and lean against the desk in the corner, trying not to look like I'm waiting for him to make the next move.
“Uh, thanks for volunteering to room with me. I know it would probably be fine with someone else, but I trust you more, you know?”
My heart does a little flip in my chest at that, thinking of how far we've come since September. To think that I've earned this man's trust after how things started between us.
“It's not a problem. I've, uh, missed you, you know?”
From the look of confusion on his face, no, he does not know. I scramble to think of a way to save this, but he's already standing and walking toward me.
“Missed me? I've been right here, Cap.”
He's close enough for me to feel the heat emanating from his body. Against my better judgment, I reach for his hip, pulling him all the way to me. I kiss him, more gently than I have before.
“Never quite close enough for my taste, yeah?”
He seems pleased to hear this.
“I wasn't sure if you were looking for something....ongoing. I mean, I know you mentioned in September that it could be...convenient, you know? With two professional athletes.”
I cringe at the reminder of my words. Whatever this is, it certainly isn't convenient.
“Can we maybe pretend you never met me before, say, Halloween?”
He laughs at this.
“Yeah, we can do that.”
I lean back in again, bringing my lips to his, enjoying the feeling of them yielding beneath me. Just as I'm considering how to move us to a more horizontal position, he pulls back.
“You know, this really is convenient. I can't imagine why more guys aren't hooking up with their roommates on roadies.”
I'm caught off guard, mostly by the fact that I can find this funny.
“Rook, that's how I know you're a college boy. If you'd come up through juniors, you'd know plenty of guys are.”
The surprise on his face is, frankly, adorable.
“They are? I need you to tell me everything.”
Everything? No, probably not. But I think back to what he shared with me the last time we were in a hotel room together. Maybe I can share something.
“I know it feels like we're all constantly together now, but in juniors and the AHL, it's just a whole different world.
Sharing rooms all the time, lots of long rides on buses that are just a little too small.
And, of course, not very many girls are interested in spending time with a guy living in some stranger's basement. So guys get...inventive.”
“I feel like that could get...messy. I mean, I hooked up with my roommate a couple of times in college, but we were really clear from the start about what it was and what it wasn't.”
He pauses for a moment before looking at me.
“Did you...?”
The urge to be honest with him is so strong that I start speaking without really thinking about it.
“Yeah. A guy from my team and I would hook up from time to time. I don't even know if he's actually gay or not. But, you know, all mouths feel pretty much the same in the dark, I guess.”
I can't quite meet his eye, thinking back to those days when I was so desperate to show that I wasn't gay, that this couldn't be me.
Whoops.
“Hey. You good?” Jamie lifts my chin, bringing my eyes to his.
“Yeah. It just...it wasn't really my best time, you know? I was simultaneously having a lot of definitely gay sex while trying to show everyone how not-gay I could be.”
Jamie hums.
“Yeah, I, uh, don't want to excuse what Josh did to me, but I was definitely not my best self when I was with him, either. I knew he was into it, and I figured he was separate enough from that whole world of hockey and agents and the draft that the two would never touch. I look back and I realize I was using him. I kind of had it coming, you know?”
My hand goes back to his hip, pulling his body fully into mine.
“I think sometimes we have to be able to find forgiveness for ourselves, you know? Or at least be able to forget, to grow.”
His arms snake around my waist.
“Yeah, and maybe forgiveness for others, too. You know?” He looks into my eyes and I find myself desperately hoping that I'm one of those lucky others who have earned his forgiveness.
I bring my mouth back down to his, and this time the kiss turns incendiary.
Before I know it, he is pushing me back onto the nearest bed before falling on top of me.
His knees fall to either side of my hips, bringing our dicks together.
Even through the layers of denim, I can feel his hardness against mine.
I pull his head back down to mine, simultaneously thrusting up into him.
For a few moments, our bodies rub together while our tongues tangle.
When Jamie pulls back, I worry that he wants to put a stop to this.
Instead, he strips his shirt off, revealing the beautiful body I so admired earlier tonight.
His eyes are hungry as he looks back down at me.
With Jamie still perched on my thighs, I sit up, pulling off my sweater and undershirt. I’m still shaking the clothes off my wrist when he comes back in, shivering as my chest hair scratches against his bare skin.
I run my hands down his back, letting my thumbs dip under his jeans as I grab his ass. He moans, low and filthy, as he pushes his dick into mine.
“Wanna fuck?”
Well, if that isn’t the dumbest question I’ve heard in a long time.
“I mean, yeah. But we’ve got a game tomorrow. If you’re not up for it, that’s fine. I could get off just like this.” I push up into him, the rough scratch of denim bordering on pain.
He smiles at me, soft around the eyes.
“Thanks, Cap. But I think we’ll be okay.”
He stands up and pats my thigh.
“Get these off.”
I obey immediately, pushing my jeans and underwear down and off as he does the same, leaning over to grab lube and a condom from his duffel. Placing them on the pillow, he climbs back on me, socks still on.
My hands go back to his hips, grabbing onto the flesh there.
As we rub together, he leaks onto my stomach. I run my hand down his crack, knowing we need to get this started soon or it will all be over. I’m surprised when my fingers graze over silicone there. I pull back to look at him and find him smiling crookedly back at me.
“Thought I might save us some time,” he says, and I can't help but smile back at him.
“When did you put it in?”
“Before dinner.”
The thought of him wearing the plug through dinner, on the bus with all of our teammates...I feel my cock twitch. I flip him onto his back, working my way down his body. I pause at his neck as his moans turn needy, then again to suck a nipple into my mouth.
I continue downwards, between the tight muscles of his abs, over the dimple of his belly button. I kiss the spot where his leg and groin meet; he keens in response, pulling his legs back, knees wide.
I trace a finger around his hole, not quite touching the plug. His breathing speeds up, his moans turning needy.
“Oh my God, stop teasing and start doing,” he whines.
I chuckle low in my throat and grab the end of the plug, pulling gently.
It remains firm at first, then slowly slides out, his hole gripping the silicone.
Just as the widest part stretches him, I push it back in.
Over and over I fuck him with the plug, twisting it and pressing it.
A sheen of sweat appears on his torso while his dick leaks on his abs.
I can't help but stare, entranced by how undone he is.
His eyes float open and meet mine.
“Please?” he whispers, almost begging.
I pull the plug fully out, unable to keep myself from tracing his rim where it has gone loose, moist with the lube he used. I stand up, tearing the condom wrapper apart and putting it on as quickly as I can. As I drizzle more lube on, Jamie grabs my hip.
“Can I ride you?”
Unable to find words, I nod, sitting on the bed, my back supported by the headboard.
“Is this good?” I've never done it like this before, and I'm not sure what will work best.