Chapter Forty-One
Iwoke slowly. My alarm going off was probably the worst thing I had ever heard in my life.
All I wanted to do was to stay in the soft, warm comfort of their arms. Their arms…
what? My eyes sprang open to the soft glow of the recessed lighting in my bedroom.
The room itself was familiar, but the arms wrapped around me were not.
I turned my head slowly to the side, terrified to find the lost soul, the woman I thought I left behind beside me.
I closed my eyes in relief when I saw it was Toya.
I turned to the other side to see Wendy snuggled on my shoulder.
The rest of the night flooded back to me and I remembered that my two friends had slept over. Whether it was for them, or for me, I was grateful. Toya finally cracked an eye. “Shut it off.” She groaned as she snuggled into my side.
I started to laugh. “I would, but my phone is on the other side of you.” My voice was soft, but both girls flew off of me. Wendy fell off the side of the bed with a soft bang.
“Fuck me. I forgot.” Wendy grabbed the side of the bed and pulled herself up. She giggled as she stood. “What time is it?”
Toya rolled over and grabbed my phone, the alarm still ringing out, and handed it to me. “Too early.” She stretched on the bed, her elbows popped as she straightened her arms.
“It’s six.” I groaned as I turned off my alarm. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but I had things to do. I slid out of the bed on Wendy’s side. “You guys can sleep for a little longer.”
“Where are you going?” Wendy wiped the sleep from her eyes.
“I’m going for a run before we head to breakfast.”
Both girls sat up, but it was Toya who asked. “A run, or a wolf run?”
I felt a smile break out as I heard both Nix and Megan perk up. “A wolf run. Nix hasn’t been out in too long, and Megan even longer. I think they both need a little stretch.” My two friends nodded. But slid out of the bed. “You guys can sleep.”
“And we will.” Wendy nodded. “But we are going to sleep in our own beds. That way we can get ready and be in the hall by nine. That way, if you get a little distracted, which in this case you should, we are there to handle the applications.”
I hugged her. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Her voice was warm, a small comfort I never knew I needed.
“For understanding.” I turned to Toya. “Both of you. Thank you for your help and understanding.”
“Of course. Now, let’s go. Your wolves must be stir crazy for being locked up for months.” I nodded as Toya walked around my bed. We left my apartment behind and got into the elevator. “Shit.”
“What?”
“I know you keep your clothes when you shift, but if you don’t want to explain to anyone, shift now, and we will get you out of the building. This way, you can just run and head back when you’re ready to.”
I could feel Nix’s need to shift press against my side. She was weak, but pushy. I need to reconnect with nature, to the Goddess, to the wind. It has been too long since I felt the winds whisper through my fur. Please Amy.
I felt her need pulse in my chest, but something held me back. I promise I will shift Nix, but we can’t do it here. I shook my head. “I can’t, not here. I will wait until I’m in the trees.” I felt my wolves pause, as if to consider my words.
Something feels off. Megan’s words were a balm to my soul. I missed her. I feel like Amy’s right. If we shift here, something will happen. Her words hit me in the chest. She was right. That was what I was feeling.
Fine, I will wait. Nix reluctantly agreed. She pulled her need back inside of her as much as she could, but I could feel her vibrate with the need.
I felt unsteady, but also on edge, as if someone or something was watching.
My first thought was the Mara, but the Goddess, she saved that soul.
And they were gone. I looked around, watching Toya and Wendy look around in confusion.
“What is it?” Wendy asked but my eyes stopped on the camera in the corner, with its blinking light.
I turned away from the camera. “It’s nothing.
” I forced a smile, but I knew. Nix, tell their wolves that there is someone watching us.
I’m not sure how I know, but I can feel it.
Tell all the girls to keep quiet in the hallways and the elevators.
I will figure out a way to keep their apartments safe, but out of them, we aren’t safe anymore.
Understood. Nix disappeared and went to tell the others. I watched their eyes widen, but nothing else. Good.
After I kicked my two friends out of the elevator on their floor, I continued down to the main floor.
I gave a tiny wave to Jora, who was wrapping up his shift, and I walked out the door.
I am sure he called after me, but as soon as I hit the cool morning air, I was running.
I ran around the building, straight into the woods, and shifted into Nix.
She paused on a hill, feeling the wind ruffle her fur, and she closed her eyes. “I have missed this feeling for far too long.”
I receded enough inside to sit next to Megan. “I promise we will make time for both of you to shift more.” I turned to look at Megan. “And I want to train in your form as well.”
I felt her stiffen next to me and she turned her head to look me in the face. “You would have no reason to fight in my form.”
I wrapped my arm around her. “It is always better to be prepared. What if you are running and are attacked? We won’t be able to stop and shift into Nix.” I ran my fingers through her fur. “It would make us vulnerable, and it would expose our secret.”
I watched as she thought through my words. “But not everyone knows about me.”
I raised my shoulder. “Toya and Wendy do. I’ll work out a day that Toya will run the training in wolf form, instead of me, and I will attend as you.” I bumped her shoulder. “Do you not want to?”
She shook her head, but her voice was low. “I want to.” She looked away. “I just thought you didn’t think I was important enough.”
Her words hurt me, but I obviously made her feel this way. “I am so sorry, Megan. I didn’t even think about it until you were both gone. I never should have neglected you.”
Her eyes widened, and I could see a slight bit of panic enter them. “You didn’t. That isn’t what I meant.”
“Don’t lie to us, little one.” Nix’s voice was soft, but she turned and started running through the trees. “We are all in this together. If you feel you need something, talk to us, and we will help you.”
So obviously she kept this from Nix as well. “You are both a part of me, Megan.” I got to my knees and wrapped my arms around her. “I’m sorry we weren’t paying attention to your needs.”
“Me too.” Nix called to us, but then she skidded to a stop. “You.” Both Megan and I snapped our attention back outwards and froze. Nix’s snarl was vicious as she stared at the wolf in front of her. “You have some fucking nerve to show your face in front of me.”
The wolf, that looked black in the dark shadows of the trees, stepped out. His dark grey fur rippled as he came closer, dropping to his belly, and slowly shuffled closer to us, with his white blue eyes focused on Nix’s. “I have been looking for you.”
Nix snorted. “I stopped believing your words months ago. When I stopped looking for you.” She turned and went to run, but the male jumped in front of her. “Move.”
“Please listen to me.” He dropped back down and rolled onto his back, showing his belly to her. Both Megan and I stiffened.
“Males shouldn’t sow their bellies to females.” Nix’s voice was icy and dark. She was still unimpressed.
“Any male will if he knows he fucked up.” His dark voice made all of us shiver, but Nix turned to leave again. “Please.” His begging stopped Nix’s paw.
“Just say what you wanted to say, Erubus.” Her words were knives even I winced.
“Maybe you should hear him out.” Megan offered softly, but Nix snorted and turned.
“I was told to hear you out, and I will. Not because I feel you deserve the chance, but because my soul sister asked me to. Now speak.” Nix words cut him. I watched as he winced.
“I swear to you I haven’t neglected you.” Nix snorted again, but she stepped closer. “I swear I have been out here every week, looking for you for months. But you have been missing.”
I felt his words hit, and Nix softened a fraction. “I searched for you for months, and you never came.” Her words, uncertain. “I gave up.”
He dropped again and slowly approached on his belly. “I wasn’t able to get away for a little while. I didn’t know who I could trust. But I figured it out and I have been out here waiting for you.”
“How do I know you are telling the truth?” Nix cut in.
He stopped, as if to think, but shook his head. “I know my words mean nothing to you. But all I can do is prove it going forward.”
“And how do you expect to do that?” She scoffed.
“Every other day from four in the morning until sunrise, I am out here. I have been out here. That is my time to run. Join me?”
Nix snorted. “You already told me you ran Tuesdays and Fridays, yet every day I looked for you, there was no one. I’m tired of inconsistent males trying to impress me.” Nix turned away from him. “If you are looking for a fling, or someone to mess around with, I am not your wolf.”
“What?” His surprise sounded genuine.
Nix snarled at his tone. “I said what I said.” She bunched her muscles, and I knew she intended to leave.
“Wait.” There was something in his voice that made her pause. It wasn’t panic per se, but something like it.
“What now?” She was at her wit’s end. The male had played with her too much and she was over it.
“I don’t want a fling or some wolf to mess around with. I want a mate.” His voice was clear, and there was almost a desperation for her to understand.
“Maybe think it over.” Megan offered, and I smiled.
“This is the wolf you have thought about daily for months. Maybe something came up, and he was away. It’s not like you know his human and he can let you know when there is an issue.” I waited to see how she would take it.
“Are you both on his side?” She sounded a little hurt.
“Not at all.” Megan shook her head.
“We are with you, Nix. But we also can see his side of things. Plus, you’re angry, and you have a right to be, but I don’t want you to hate yourself for shutting him out.
You might move past the hurt and realize that you made a mistake.
I don’t want you to be sad later for your anger today. ” We waited for her decision.
She slowly turned back to Erubus. “My human has asked me to reconsider you.”
He jumped to his feet, and his ears perked up. “And?”
“I might give you a second chance. But I need to know, where have you been?”
There was a silence that settled in the clearing. “There have been more attacks,” he paused, and I saw a flash of guilt pass over his eyes. But it cleared, and he continued. “The king needed me at the forefront of the attacks.”
I felt Nix settle. If there was one thing she supported, it was saving weaker wolves. “You were protecting people?”
He gave a nod. “The king, he needs powerful wolves surrounding him that don’t have divided loyalties.” Nix threw back her head and laughed. Erubus stiffened. “What’s funny?”
Nix shook her head. “I was just laughing at what you said. Every king needs to be surrounded by loyal people, but this king needs it more.” She shook her head.
“I know kings have to be careful, but somehow, this king seemed to surround himself with everyone that wants him to die.” I felt the change in Erubus before Nix did.
“Nix. Be careful. He didn’t like what you just said.” She turned to face the male, and she could see the shift in him finally.
“What did you say?”
Nix didn’t like his tone. But I cautioned her. “You called his king, our king, stupid to his face. And Rowan is doing the best he can.” I felt a little hurt by her words, too. He was put into this position. He didn’t make it himself.
Nix conceded. “I’m sorry if I said it wrong. I know someone the king is close to. She knows the situation he is now in.” Nix shook her head. “He is doing his best with the shitty hand he was dealt.” Her tone calmed down.“But what? You don’t agree with his methods?”
“Not at all,” she confessed. “I think he is trying to placate everyone when he doesn’t have to. And I know people are actively trying to kill him. But…”
“But this farce of the council forcing him to select a mate instead of waiting for his Goddess-given mate is ridiculous.” Nix called back to me. “He is hurting you, and I don’t like it.” Then she turned her attention back to Erubus. “He is hurting my friend.”
I watched Erubus recoil. “Who is your friend? And why is she hurting?”
But Nix was done. “I won’t speak on her behalf, because honestly, does your king deserve to know?
” She shook her head. “I’ll give you one last chance.
But if you disappear, if you disappoint me one more time.
That’s it.” Nix stared at him. “I like you. As much as it pains me, I like you a lot. But I won’t allow any man or male to play with me or my feelings.
Not now, not again. So I need you to think about this, Erubus.
” She stepped closer to him, and she drew in a breath, trying to scent him.
But still, there was nothing, and that aggravated her.
“I need you to think long and hard before you show up next, because if you do and then you mess around, or disappoint me yet again, that’s it.
” She got closer to him. “I will never give you another chance. So think, long and hard, before you male your decision.” Then she took off.