Chapter Five #2
Blood coated her back, as Carl lost his grip on her as he choked on his life’s blood.
He finally caught his breath, and he stared into Carly’s eyes.
I watched as his defeated eyes filled with all of his love for his daughter.
“Baby girl. What is the first rule of our kind?” His laboured breathing was starting to gurgle, fluid building in his chest. He was waning.
Everyone could see it, but he was holding on to make sure his little girl was okay. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
She trembled as she shook her head. “No daddy, please.” She pleaded. “Stay with me.” She looked up and kissed his cheeks. “Let me make you better. Let Amy help. Please, daddy.”
He closed his eyes, and I could see his resolve teetering on the edge. He wanted to stay. “What’s our first rule?” He pulled back to look at her. “Come on, baby girl, what’s our first rule?”
Her lower lip trembled, and her tears continued to fall as she sniffled.
She wiped her nose with her sleeve, as only little kids could, and she swallowed before she answered.
“There is only one shaman at a time. One shaman at the time, for the balance of the world.” Carly looked at him, and he nodded.
But another tear fell, and she leaned closer to his face.
“But I’m not ready. I’m not trained yet. You promised you’d train me.”
Carl collapsed, so I pulled Carly away and helped him get to the ground fully.
He was trying to sit up, but I pulled him back.
I laid his head on my lap and then Carly cuddled against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as he stared up at me.
“I wish we had more time, baby. I really do, but you are special. Like Amy here. That’s why the Goddess chose her to help you through your first vision.
And why I chose her to take over for me here? ”
“You said you would watch over me.” She cried into his chest and his face crumpled.
“Oh I will, baby. I will watch over both of you every day of the rest of your lives.” He kissed her head a few times. “I might not be here physically, but as long as the Goddess will allow, I will be with you.” He hugged her close as I ran my fingers through his hair.
I looked up at Erubus, but I honestly stopped caring. “There is a way to check in.”
Carl snapped his eyes open. “What?”
“It obviously can’t happen all the time, but I think the Goddess will understand if I do it.” I gave them the only thing I could. Hope. “Carly, on the days that missing your daddy gets too hard, when it hurts too much, I promise you that your daddy will be there to help you through it.”
She shook her head as she looked up at me. “Don’t lie. Once he’s gone, he’s gone.”
I gave her a small smile. And I closed my eyes, opening myself to my power, and I called out.
“Grandma, I need your help here. This little one needs hope, and you can help give this man a sliver of peace.” I felt her hand on my shoulder as everyone gasped.
I opened my eyes and I looked up to see her smiling face.
“Hello again Carl.” Carl stared up at my grandmother and then closed his eyes, and his face filled with peace. “Your little girl here is adorable, my lad. You did good.” She sank to her knees as Carly looked up at her. “Hello, wee one.”
She sniffled again. “Who are you?”
“I’m Amy’s grandmother. And this…” She turned and waved her hand, the new cottage shifting to her old one. “This was my home, once upon a time.”
“Daddy said the lady who lived here died a long time ago.”
“And I did.” She waved her hand again, and the old cabin ignited into flames. “There was an attack, much like this one. And like your father here, I gave my life for those I love. That gives me a little leeway with the goddess.”
Carl looked up at her. “Leeway? How?”
“What’s leeway?” Carly sat up against Carl, still clinging to him, but grasping on to the tiny thread of hope she was being handed.
“Leeway, my girl, means the Goddess looks away when I nip down here to see my girl here.” She leaned over and I felt the ghost of her lips on my forehead. “When something like this happens, Carl. The Goddess looks the other way when, say, someone calls for you.”
“How is this possible?” Hanna looked at me, and then back at my grandmother.
She smiled up at my friends. “You know of her magic.” The girls nodded, but Erubus stayed still.
I saw the tiny smile that sprang to her lips as her eyes landed on him.
“Well, Amy sacrifices a tiny amount of magic to call for me, and another to help me come to this plane.” She waved her hands at me.
“When she needs me, I come. Do you know what that means, little one?” Carly shook her head as my grandmother dropped to her knees beside me.
She raised her hands to hold Carly’s face.
“It means that when you are really sad, and you need to see your daddy. Amy can call him here for you and the Moon Goddess, in her understanding, will allow him to come to you. So even if he is gone, even hundreds of years from now, if you need him…Amy will bring him here for you.”
Carly closed her eyes and tilted her head. “I can’t feel you.”
“No baby, you can’t. I’m not physically here. But that’s just one aspect of love, right? Physical touch. You will see your daddy, speak with him, get advice from him.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Even have him at important points, like your mating ceremony. Or to meet his grandchild.”
Carl’s eye snapped to mine. “Swear it.” I could see the pleading in his eyes. This was something he could never experience without me, but now it was an option. One he never had. “Please, swear it to be true. That I can come back for her.”
“I swear it.” I rubbed my hand against his cheek. “I will make sure you are there for everything.” He shuddered and his breathing became a rattle.
“But I want him with me every day.” Carly’s voice was a whisper as she laid back down next to him and he hugged her to his chest.
“I know, baby.” My answer wavered as my vision blurred. I laid my other hand on her head, and I looked up at my grandma. “I’m not ready.”
She smiled. “Just like he said. Get ready, my love.” She kissed me again.
Then she turned to Erubus. “And you…get your head out of your ass. And think for yourself. You are a grown ass man. Grow some balls. Your father would be ashamed of you.” He flinched at her words, and she softened.
“You’re a good boy.” She looked at me and she leaned into me.
“Listen to him when the time comes. You’re allowed to be mad.
You’re allowed to throw down, punch out, and be viciously pissed.
But once you calm yourself, listen to the boy.
He has his reasons.” I stared up at her, and her eyes furrowed. “Give me your word, love.”
“I will. I promise.” She nodded and then she was gone. I looked at Erubus, and I watched as he decided. He came closer to me.
“We have kept too many secrets from each other.” His words were filled with hurt, but he was right, so I just nodded. He closed his eyes. “Remember your promise.”
“What are you even talking about?” But before Erubus answered, Carl started to cough again. I turned back to the two in my lap. Carly pulled away and started to cry.
“Don’t leave me, daddy. Please. I promise to be a good girl. I’ll eat my veggies and go to bed when you tell me. Just stay.” She wrapped her arms around Carl, but was staring at me.
Then he echoed Erubus’s words. “Remember your promise.” His breathing slowed and then stopped.
“Daddy.” Carly pulled back, but his eyes were fixed on mine. The light behind them faded and then, in the fading light, his heart stopped beating. “Daddy! No daddy, come back.” His arms slipped from around Carly, and she struggled to keep his arms wrapped around her. “Come back.”
I heard a curse, and then a soft whisper.
“I’m going to fucking kill him.” From Toya.
But Carl was gone. Five sets of knees hit the ground as I threw back my head and released my mourning howl.
My friends all joined, and then a tiny voice joined ours.
We sang to the rising moon about the man, the father we just lost. Then Carly was in my arms, sobbing.
“It’s okay pup. I got you.” I whispered into her hair, as I looked back at my friends. My people. Only to find a set of familiar eyes staring back at me.
“Let me explain.” He pleaded. But I just stood, rage burning in my belly. I turned, Carly clutched to my chest as I walked back to the cabin, my friends trailing behind me.
Leaving Rowan alone with Carl’s body.