Chapter Eighteen #2
“I’m not hungry.” I snapped out again, but then my body betrayed me by letting out a loud growl.
He just lifted a brow. “Fine!” I snatched my glass and took a big drink.
Rowan snorted and uncovered the plate in front of me.
The smell of steak and baked potato hitting me in the face, causing my stomach to growl once more.
Rowan chuckled as he uncovered his own plate of food.
I growled softly as I glared over my glass of wine.
I needed another drink, so I downed the remaining wine in my glass.
Rowan had already picked up the bottle to fill my glass, so I just held it out.
He shook his head as a smirk graced his lips.
“I know you have every right to hate me, but please just listen to me for the duration of this meal. Then if you still want nothing to do with me…” He trailed off as he put down the bottle.
“Goddess, I hope that doesn’t happen, but I would respect your wishes.
” He looked over at me and for the first time in a long time, I believed him.
“Fine.” I put down my glass and grabbed my fork.
I wasn’t stupid enough to starve myself just to stick it to him.
He was obviously staying until he said his peace.
I’m not going to let Clara’s food go to waste.
“But.” He looked up from his plate and met my gaze.
“When this is over.” I waved my knife between us.
“I don’t want to see you, or talk to you, unless it has to do with Vince and his clowns. ”
Rowan sat back. “You don’t want to talk to me?” He chewed at his lip and I groaned inside. “Like at all?”
I was staring at his lip, and I needed to snap out of it.
Nix and Megan were no help at all, as they were back to purring.
I shook my head. “I will do my duty to you and our kind. I will ensure you continue your reign as king, but for my sake…a clean break is necessary.” I tilted my head.
“And I think that includes Erubus coming to see Nix and Megan.”
Hey! Nix called out.
But Megan just shushed her. She’s right. If we still see him, we won’t ever give anyone a fair shake. Megan looked back at me. I don’t want to hurt Amy anymore than I already have.
Nix looked between us and then sighed. Fine. Then she stalked away.
Rowan watched me for a few seconds before he sat back with a nod. “Fine.”
I felt my stomach unclench. “Fine.” I shook off the tiny pit in my stomach and started eating. I waited for a few seconds before I glanced up at Rowan. “Are you going to start, or are you just going to stare at me?”
He smiled and gave a tiny nod as he grabbed his own wineglass and upended it. He placed his glass down softly and grabbed his own fork and knife. “It's funny.” He chuckled as he sliced into his steak.
“What is?” I took a bite.
He chewed his mouthful slowly, then swallowed. “I had this entire thing planned out. After you outran Erubus earlier, I came here to wait. I spent the entire time planning on what I would say and how I could fix everything…” He trailed off and looked at me as he cut into his steak.
“And now?” I tilted my head as I stuck a new piece of steak into my mouth.
He sighed. “Now I don’t know what to say.
I don’t even think I could say anything to make you change your mind.
” He grabbed the wine and filled up his glass before pulling out his phone.
He dialed someone and waited. “Hi. Can I get like three more bottles of wine to Amy’s room, please, Clara?
” He waited for a second. “Any will do. I just need to work up the courage.” There was a soft giggle.
“Thank you.” He hung up his phone and turned back to me.
I raised my eyebrow, and he smiled, then downed another glass of wine.
“I don’t even know if I should try to explain it at all. ”
I felt like a noose was tightening around my neck. I shook off the feeling and shook my head a little. “Oh…why is that?”
“Because.” He took in a deep breath through his nose. “You deserve way better than me.”
We just sat there staring at each other until there was a soft knock at the door. “Come in.” Rowan called out, his eyes never leaving mine.
Clara came in with another cart. “I brought your four bottles. Just in case, and the chef gave me two slices of your favourite strawberry cake, Amy.” She smiled as she pushed the cart over.
“I’ll just leave the cart here. Once you are all finished, just push it out into the hall.
” She gave us both a small bow and then left us alone.
I grabbed my glass and took another sip as he finished the first bottle. I waited for another minute, then I sat back. “Well, if you aren’t going to explain, we can just skip this awkwardness and just go our separate ways.”
He nodded. “That’s what I have been debating.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “Well then.” This was a waste of time. I pushed back and stood.
“But.” He cut in with a smirk. “I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t explain it all. And I know Erubus would absolutely revolt if I didn’t at least try.” He nodded to my chair. “Please.”
I pursed my lips as I considered it. Nix whispered softly. Can you just listen to him? Maybe there is a reason.
Her words nearly broke me. A reason good enough for everything that he did?
I don’t know. But I want to at least have all the information before you make your decision. She looked at Megan, who nodded.
“Fine.” I sat, and I started back in on the food. I grabbed my wine and finished it. I grabbed a second bottle before Rowan could and filled both of our glasses. “Start at the beginning, then.”
He nodded once before cutting a bit of steak.
“Well then.” He smirked. Then he dove in.
“You had me hooked as soon as you asked me to torture someone.” I laughed, but he looked at me with hungry eyes.
“Then I saw you, and I was sold.” I snorted at that.
“But it was who you are… that made me fall completely in love with you.”
He talked more about our time together until he got to my heat. “I knew you would hate me if we went any farther. I had to force myself away. Even Erubus was struggling, and he was set on a beautiful she-wolf from the forest.” He smirked again.
I had finished my meal and was just swirling my glass. “So you left…” I took a sip, trying my best to focus on now, and not how I felt back then.
He nodded. “I went back to my place and was going insane. So I called your father.”
“My dad?” I grabbed for the cake, picking at it as my stomach rolled. “Why?”
“Because I wanted his advice.” He took a drink. “Believe it out not…I don’t have a lot of friends.”
I nearly snorted wine through my nose. I coughed. “You don’t say?”
He laughed, but then his smile fell. “I called because I wanted him to tell me it was okay if I chose you instead of waiting for my mate.” He grabbed the bottle of wine and just took a sip from the bottle. “You can guess how well that turned out.” He snorted.
“What did he say?” My words were soft.
“He said that we had to play this smart, and getting together at that point would have put a target on your back. Vince, Brandon, they wouldn’t have touched you with a ten-foot pole.
And your dad needed you to get close to them.
” He took a longer pull from the bottle.
“He told me to create space between us. That he would explain it all when the time came, but for our plans to play out, I needed to leave you alone.”
My heart cracked open. “Your letter said you and him made the plans…but I didn’t know he told you that.”
“You read the letters?” He looked a little lost.
I nodded. “When I found out about them…a few days ago.” I grabbed a bottle of my own and popped the cork. Might as well. “Before that, I was kept in the dark. You had just left me, and then you ignored me.”
“Ignored you?” He shook his head. “I never ignored you. I called, I emailed. You didn’t answer. So when your dad came to me about helping you…I created Thoth.” He emptied the rest of the bottle. “Not like it mattered.”
I growled. “Not that it mattered?” I slapped a hand on my chest. “It mattered to me.”
“You ignored me!” He screamed back. “I was drowning without you and you ignored me.”
I stood up. “I never fucking ignored you. You ignored me.” I screamed the last part as everything came rushing back. “You fucking left me when I needed you the most and then you wouldn’t answer my calls, my texts. Nothing. I FUCKING LOVED YOU AND YOU LEFT ME!”
He stared at me with his mouth slightly opened. “I messaged you Amy. I emailed you, I called. But I was blocked.” He pulled out his phone and placed it on the table. He clicked the contacts and clicked my name. I pulled my phone out and waited.
“The customer you have called is unavailable.” My eyebrows shot up.
“That’s not right.” I put my phone down. “We spoke when I was getting fixed up in the hospital.”
He nodded. “You called my office line, not my cell phone.” He sighed.
“It’s a desk phone I check every day. I could still call you from that number…
” He looked at me with a pained expression.
“But it’s not secure, and what I wanted to talk to you about was personal.
” He looked away. “But.” He waved his hand at his phone. “You blocked me.”
“But I didn’t.” I pulled up my block list, which was empty, and showed it to him. “See.” I then scrolled to his number and hit call.
“The customer you have called is unavailable.” The same voice rang out, and I raised my eyebrow.
“You blocked me.” He shook his head and did the same as me. He pulled up his block list, and it was also empty. “How the fuck?” There was a soft click and my door swung open. My father walked in with a sheepish look, holding his phone in his hand.