Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
Iloved Ethan’s lands. Rowan had mountains and nature as well, but Ethan’s lands felt less forgiving.
The topography and climate were harsher, and more predators prowled his lands, and something about that appealed to me.
I sat on the deck watching some deer venture closer to Ethan’s flowers, grinning as they looked to and fro to see if anyone would disturb them if they tried to take a nibble.
The Lord himself was inside speaking to a few of his staff about a mundane problem I’d already forgotten about. He’d brought me a steaming cup of coffee and a plate of fresh blueberry scones, and all the thoughts went right out of my head.
Ethan didn’t live in the main Keep house unless there was a reason.
He preferred the property toward the back, the one with the view of a massive mountain range.
I curled my fingers around my mug and sighed.
The air was crisp with the smell of pine and growing things this morning, and there was a chill to it that made me glad I’d brought extra sweaters.
Though I needn’t have worried. Ethan had handed me a thick cashmere cardigan at the same time he’d brought out the scones.
Without hesitation, I’d tugged it on and sighed at the way the luxurious material felt against my skin, along with the warmth it provided.
I found a pair of thick wool socks tucked into the sweater’s pockets—ones that smelled like him. Without overthinking, I tugged off my thinner socks and put those on, too.
Nothing had been amiss when we arrived earlier.
His people welcomed me back with smiles and hugs, and his chef—a small woman named Vicki—had promised to adjust the menu, sliding a look of pique Ethan’s way.
“He didn’t tell a soul you were coming,” she chided.
“And I’d set the menu up for his tastes, all steaks and potatoes. ”
Vicki rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’m glad he has someone here with a more discerning palate.”
Vicki was a wolf shifter. In her human form, she had pale skin and light brown hair with watery blue eyes. Her wolf form was larger than I expected, with fur so dark it was almost black. Her food was to die for, and I usually ate like a horse when she was cooking.
Her gaze sharpened as she took in my face.
When her eyes dragged down my body and back up, her face broke into a wide smile.
“I should be furious you’ve been eating someone’s food, and it was delicious enough for you to put some weight back on, but for some reason, I don’t think human food had much to do with it, did it? ”
She took both my hands. “You look healthier than I’ve ever seen, my dear. Gorgeous and glowing.”
I smiled. “No, Vicki. My dietary needs are more complicated than I expected. Someone else helped me figure them out.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Oh.” She lowered her voice. “Is that why he’s been so pissed off these last few months?”
I let out a surprised laugh. “Let’s just say the Lord and I haven’t seen eye to eye on a few things lately.”
She nodded sagely. “I hope you figure it out, my dear. We love having you here.”
Vicki slid one more look Ethan’s way. “And as much as we love him, we love him even more when you’re around.” She squeezed my fingers gently and hurried away.
I suspected she was the one who plied Ethan with the blueberry scones a little later. The coffee was amazing, too, and it was hard to beat Seattle area coffee. Whatever blend they were serving had me rethinking my tea addiction.
I tugged the blanket lying haphazardly across the back of the couch over my lap and curled up. Birds sang in a canopy of trees, and the wind blew a gentle melody over the property.
His place had always been quieter than any other Keep I’d ever visited. For some reason, his shifters were calmer, less prone to violence than others.
They were certainly capable. Every single one of Ethan’s shifters was physically fit and deadly.
When I first came to stay, they’d treated me respectfully but kept me at arm’s length, and I knew they’d all kept a close eye on me.
I think it took about two full months for them to let their guard down even an inch around me.
Now, most of them were comfortable around me. We weren’t friends, but they’d defend me, if need be, and I’d do the same for them.
Ethan came back outside several minutes later holding a carafe of coffee. Without asking, he refilled my mug.
“Thanks,” I murmured.
He sat on one of the chairs to the side. “You look good here,” he said quietly. “Like you belong.”
My fingers tightened around the mug. “The only way I’m going to stay is if we keep this professional.”
He nodded. “I’m just saying there’s a place for you here. With us. You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, Moira. And you don’t have to be with me.”
Surprised, I shifted my body to watch him. He sipped his coffee and eyed the deer, a ring of gold around his irises. The deer took a few steps back.
“You really mean that, don’t you?”
“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” he answered. “Not to you.”
“Rowan is building me a house,” I blurted. “He wants me to meet with him to finalize the blueprints.”
Ethan nodded. “Is that what you want? A home?”
It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted in my long, immortal life. A place to call my own. A family. People I loved. A place to belong.
“Everyone wants that,” I said quietly.
“I’ll do the same for you.” He sighed. “I did the same for you. Though I confess I didn’t consult you.”
I blinked in surprise. “What.”
“The cottage isn’t that much of a cottage.” He looked uncomfortable for a moment, dropping his gaze to stare at his feet. “I had it made after you left. The place has never been lived in.”
Ethan glanced up, his eyes molten gold, flecked with midnight blue. “It’s yours if you want it.”
My jaw dropped. “Ethan, I—”
“Don’t answer now. Take some time to think about it.”
“You’d offer this even knowing about Cernunnos?”
“The god has nothing to do with this,” Ethan snarled. “This is between you and me.”
I sighed and sipped my coffee, dragging my eyes away. “And what if I kept dating him?”
“You can marry the sonofabitch if you want,” he snapped. “As long as I have you close by.”
A hard, unamused laugh escaped me. “You don’t mean that.”
“I already told you I always say what I mean when it comes to you.”
We stared at each other, anger brewing hot in my veins. Ethan’s eyes sparkled with the thrill of the challenge. He wanted this to be a fight, wanted to prove me wrong.
“You can’t just build a woman a house and present it to her like a cat dropping a dead mouse at its owner’s feet!”
“Why the hell not?” Ethan growled. “It’s my money, my land, my Keep. I can do whatever the hell I want to.”
I adjusted my tone. “You’re right,” I said. “You can do whatever you want. But what will your people think when the house remains empty?”
To my surprise, Ethan chuckled. “I’m a Lord for a reason, darling. I don’t lose.”
“I’m not a prize to be won.” I set my mug down with a click. “Two days, Ethan. If I don’t see anything concerning, I plan to return home. Once I do, I think it’s best you and your fellow Lords make building the junior council and finding reps to assist you a priority.”
His voice turned soft and deadly. “Are you saying you won’t return to my Keep anymore?”
I smiled sadly. “I’m saying this is a battle I can’t win. Every good general knows when to lay down their arms.”
Ethan blinked. His brow furrowed and he was about to argue when I stood. “Want to show me where I’m sleeping? I’d like to take a nap.”
“You never nap,” Ethan said, frowning up at me.
“Today I do,” I said archly.
Ethan gave me another odd look but stood. “Fine. Follow me.”
“Where’s my suitcase?”
“Already there.”
He brushed past me, his scent wild and untamed.
I followed, wishing once again for things to be different between us, for us not to be so acrimonious.
Ethan had to know I wouldn’t give on this one.
If I couldn’t have him, that was one thing, but him pushing me to stay with him while never giving me what I really craved was downright cruel.
Neither one of us said a word until he stopped before a small brick house. My lips parted as I stared. The place looked to be a few bedrooms at most. One story, deep red brick with dark green shutters, the place looked like it belonged in the middle of a forest.
The porch was wrap-around style. Made of stained dark wood, it looked warm and homey, and damn him, I could see myself sitting out here with a cup of coffee and a blanket each morning watching the sun rise.
Hot tears pricked the backs of my eyes. Ethan jogged up the steps and unlocked the door. The smell of fresh wood and linseed oil hit me as I walked in behind him.
The walls were painted a dark blue and the wood floor was the color of mahogany.
He’d furnished the place, as well. A sectional sofa curved around the room, facing a brick fireplace, crackling with a real wood fire.
The coffee table was abstract, all curves and lines with a flat top, stained to match the flooring.
I walked over and ran my fingers over the smooth surface.
My breath caught as I did. Ethan’s scent and touch was all over this. I swallowed hard and looked over my shoulder.
“Did you make this?” I croaked.
I’d seen a workshop at the Main Keep house but had never seen anyone working inside.
Ethan’s eyes were somber. He nodded.
I turned away before he could see a tear fall, dashing at my face before I stood to explore the rest of the place. The kitchen was larger than the living room which made me smile. He’d installed Viking appliances and a double oven, and the fridge was tucked behind decorative wooden cabinets.
Every decorative touch had him written all over it. I ran my fingers over the granite countertop and went to the next room and then the next and so on. When I was finished, I was bursting with pent up emotion.
I turned to see Ethan hovering close behind, his damn heart in his eyes. Lashing out was my first instinct because how dare he do this to me? How dare he take so much time and so much effort to do something like this that was obviously meant for me and still push me away?
I moved a step closer, another, and another until Ethan was forced to back up. When his back bumped the wall, he stopped, swallowing hard at my look.
A vivid green glow cast his face in a brilliant shadow of magic. He blinked a few times. Desire rose through the air, the scent of pine and wildness saturating the room.
I pressed my palm against his chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart. When I spoke this time, my voice was low and deadly.
“You don’t build a house for a woman you don’t want.” I shook my head. “But I won’t live here with you. I won’t accept this house. I won’t soften my heart to you.”
Hurt filled his expression, but I wasn’t done.
“I won’t do any of these things until you admit how you feel about me and let me in.
Do that, Ethan, and I will fall on my knees for you.
You will never wonder how I feel about you.
You will never doubt the depth of my love.
I will be yours for the rest of my immortal existence. But I won’t accept half of your heart.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I pressed my finger against his lips.
“You will always love her. I’m not asking you to forget her or pretend she was never part of your life.
I don’t want you to do any such thing. The people we love live forever in our hearts, as they should.
All I’m asking is for you to try to squeeze me in, too. ”
Ethan closed his eyes, a pained expression crossing his face. He released a shuddering breath and reached for me, taking my face into his hands. Calloused thumbs stroked my cheeks.
He opened his mouth to speak and only one word came out.
“Understood.”