Chapter Three The Migration Pattern of Some Stupid Squid #3
For a while, he gets to sit on the floor with Hailey and Kevin, watching music videos as they continue to stuff their faces
with sweets. Eventually, the games end, and everyone gathers together again, most of them half asleep thanks to their full
bellies.
“All right, gang!” Kaitlyn says, clapping her hands together as she stands. Owen watches her traipse over toward the Christmas
tree in the corner. “We’ve come to the grand finale of the night.”
Kaitlyn plucks three red envelopes from behind the plastic branches where she’d hidden them.
“What’s this?” Jacob asks, eyeing the envelope as it’s handed to him. “We’re doing gifts?”
“Well, we are,” Kaitlyn says with a sly grin as she walks around the room, handing envelopes to Kevin and Owen as well.
“Ravi and Hailey don’t get one?” Kevin questions.
“We unfortunately will have to abstain from the gift,” Hailey says, turning to Ravi.
“We didn’t think it was a great idea to take a baby on a—” he starts to say, letting out an oof when Hailey elbows him in the ribs.
Through gritted teeth she asks, “How about we don’t spoil the surprise, hmm?”
“Kaitlyn and I are going to make it up to them later,” Abigail says. “And we received their blessing to proceed as planned
with the three of you.”
“Well, that only raises further questions,” Owen says bluntly.
“We’re getting a lot of hot pot out of it,” Hailey assures them. “It’s fine.”
“Like an irresponsible amount,” Ravi adds.
“Actually, there are two presents—this is part one.” Kaitlyn continues, sinking back onto the couch next to Abigail. Hailey
and Ravi give each other the same confused look, which tells Owen that they didn’t realize there were parts to this gift.
“What is it?” Owen can’t help but ask.
Kaitlyn leans forward, holding her hands together as she grins. “Open this one first, then we’ll get to the second one.” The
room immediately fills with the sound of ripping paper.
“‘You’re setting sail!’” Kevin gets his card free first, reading the text aloud. The words are in a giant speech bubble, being spoken by a coconut with sunglasses lounging on a beach with a drink in hand, a cruise ship far off in the distance.
“Does what the coconut is doing count as cannibalism?” Owen inquires, staring at the coconut drink in the mascot’s hand.
“Yeah, that feels sort of messed up,” Jacob agrees, and Owen has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at Jacob daring to
join in on the bit. “I feel like a pineapple would be better?”
“Isn’t that still weird?” Kevin piles on. “I feel like any fruit drinking another fruit is still weird.”
“Is Kevin allowed to say ‘fruit’ that many times?” Owen teases, watching as Kevin’s cheeks flush. “As the only straight man
in on this gift?”
“What if it was a vegetable?” Hailey asks. “Like carrot juice?”
“Okay, that’s it.” Kaitlyn holds out her hands. “I’m taking the gifts back! None of you deserve them. Give them back.”
“We’re just asking the important questions!” Owen argues, snatching the card out of her reach.
“Holy shit, you didn’t . . .” Jacob starts to say. That’s when Owen realizes that Jacob read ahead. “Kait, you bought us a
cruise?”
Owen’s blood freezes as he stares at the folded piece of paper inserted into the card:
Congratulations, Mr. Henson, on booking your trip with Pacific Coast Cruises! Your nautical vacation aboard our premium ocean
liner has been confirmed through a fellow passenger. We can’t wait to welcome you and your group aboard as we embark on a
journey along the West Coast up toward the beautiful shores of Alaska.
“You’re joking, right?” Kevin shoots to his feet, staring at the confirmation. “Like you’ve got to be fucking joking. Right?”
“Nope!” Abigail grins proudly. “We’ve been saving our travel points, and Kaitlyn’s company gave her a pretty big bonus for
the holidays—”
Kaitlyn finishes the thought for her wife. “—and we realized that we’ve never gotten to take a vacation as a family before,
so we thought it’d be fun!”
“Minus the two of us,” Hailey says, totally heartbroken. Though she tries to make the words sound like a joke.
“And instead you get to stay on safe and solid ground with the daughter that you love so dearly.” Ravi tsks sarcastically, playing gently with his wife’s hair. “What a shame.”
Owen looks around the room at the faces of his friends, all of them staring in awe and excitement at the brochures that Kaitlyn
hands out. There are lists upon lists of amenities, restaurants, shops, exhibits, event nights, and a thousand other things
to do on board. And everyone else is so excited.
And then there’s Owen.
One week. On a boat. Out in the middle of the ocean where anything could happen, and the nearest help could be hundreds of
miles away.
“Whatcha thinkin’?” Kaitlyn looks at Owen, grinning from ear to ear. He forces himself to mimic the expression.
“This is . . . amazing, Kaitlyn.” Owen shakes his head, still in disbelief. “Thank you so much.”
Her smile a little softer, she turns to face the group. “Well, we wanted to do something special. And like I said, this is
just part one!”
She leans forward, just enough to dig something out of the back pocket of her jeans.
“We didn’t want to tell you guys until it was official. Like officially official,” Kaitlyn continues, her voice louder so that they all know she’s talking to the room now. “But for the last few