Chapter Four Something Wrong? Call Anh Phoong! #2
“You spent most of tonight alone in the kitchen with your headphones on,” she reminds him, like he didn’t live the last six
hours.
“I didn’t have my headphones on,” he corrects, unable to deny the rest of Kaitlyn’s allegations. “I don’t know if I want to
go.” He imagines deciding that he can’t take it, telling Kaitlyn and Abigail that he’ll stay in San Francisco, have a week
all to himself while he watches his best friends have the time of their lives on an Alaskan cruise.
Kaitlyn’s face sinks immediately. “What? No! Come on, dude!”
“I’m just not sure,” he tells her. “You know I’m not a huge traveler.”
Guilt starts to stir when he meets Kaitlyn’s eyes again. Owen takes a final drag of the joint, then lets it fall to the step
where he crushes it with the sole of his Croc.
“But I want you there!” she says. “It’s bad enough that Ravi and Hailey can’t come. You have to be there.”
“I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea.”
“Listen, I know that the last year hasn’t been easy for both you guys,” Kaitlyn begins to say as she steps closer to Owen now that the smoke is gone, squatting next to him on the stoop. “But do you really think ignoring each other is how you move on?”
“Who said I want to move on?” Owen asks. “I’m still angry, Kaitlyn. He left. He decided to take that job.”
“He never thought he’d be sent across the Atlantic Ocean,” she reminds him all too helpfully, only making Owen feel more petulant.
“You know this position was his dream. This research is what he went to school for, what he wrote his dissertation on.”
That’s the worst part. Owen does know that. He knows just how hard Jacob has worked, even before they met each other. Owen knows all too well how long Jacob
spent studying, racking up thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loans, working dead-end job after dead-end job as
a lab tech or research assistant just to make ends meet.
Then he finally got his chance.
He just had to leave Owen behind to take it.
Owen’s not even really angry at him for it. At least one of them had the courage to finally go for the thing they’ve always
wanted.
“Are you sure you even want me there?” Owen asks her genuinely. “Even if Jacob and I don’t argue, I’m not sure how much fun
I’ll be. You know I don’t like to leave my bubble.” He says the words with humor, but they’re true.
“It wouldn’t be right without you there,” she tells him, and he believes her. “I can’t speak for Jacob, but I want you there. So does Abigail. Kevin too, I bet. And are you really going to let your ex keep you from going on a free vacation?”
Owen feigns a smile.
“Come on! I’m like five weeks pregnant, I’m about to have to stop my entire life to help take care of some crying sack of vomit and blubber for eighteen whole years.”
“Abigail’s more self-sufficient than that,” he jokes. “Give her some credit.”
Kaitlyn snorts before she amends, “I’m about to have to take care of two crying sacks of vomit and blubber. And she’ll no doubt be spoiled by her four uncles who won’t be able to say no to her.”
He hates that he’s imagining being a part of this unborn baby’s life for the first time. Abandonment just always felt like
the most expected outcome. But of course Kaitlyn and Abigail would want him there.
“Do you think it’s more about the traveling? Or is it really being with Jacob for a whole week?”
Both, Owen thinks. But one of them is weighing on him more than the other, certainly.
“Wanna know what I think?” Kaitlyn offers when Owen doesn’t reply.
“You’re going to tell me anyway,” Owen replies.
“True!” Kaitlyn scoots even closer to Owen, like that was even possible. “You’re both going to be a part of this kid’s life.
And mine, and Abby’s. And I think that it could be beneficial to the both of you to maybe . . . I don’t know, work things
out? At the very least, be . . . friendly with each other.”
She’s right. As badly as Owen doesn’t want to admit it, she is.
If he wants to maintain his relationship with Kaitlyn and Abigail, if he wants to be the fun guncle who gets to babysit and give this kid too much sugar and teach them swear words, then he’ll have to be around Jacob.
There’s no way to avoid it. Even if Jacob keeps moving from place to place for the rest of his life, he’ll come back to see this child. He’ll want to be a part of its life.
Owen’s the only real variable. Just like always.
Kaitlyn sighs, standing and stepping off the stoop. “Come on,” she says, motioning with her head.
“Where are we going?”
“Buck’s.”
“You want donuts at three in the morning?”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Where the hell else are we supposed to get donuts at three in the morning?”
“I could make them?” Owen offers, but she ignores him, continuing down the sidewalk like she expects Owen to just follow her.
So he does.
It’s a short four-block walk to the corner of Haight and Central, where Buck’s Donuts sits open twenty-four hours a day. Owen
and Kaitlyn found the place after they first moved in together, when Owen’s anxiety over his apprenticeship and studying for
his certification tests blended perfectly with Kaitlyn’s late-night studying habits.
“I still can’t believe you managed to keep the secret,” he says to her, hoping that she won’t mind the change in subject.
“You’re lucky I already had the needle container for my meds.”
“Yeah, I was praying you wouldn’t notice that I was using it.” Kaitlyn winces. “Sorry about that. I’ll pay you back for the
Band-Aids I stole.”
“Have you thought about names yet?” Owen asks.
“Nah, we’re too far away to think about that right now.”
He eyes her suspiciously. “I find that extremely hard to believe.”
“Okay, but . . .” She looks down at her stomach, though there isn’t anything to see yet. “You can’t tell anyone.”
Owen holds out his pinky for her to take.
“Piper, if it’s a girl.” She hesitates. “Abigail and I have already talked about it.”
“And if it’s a boy?” Owen teases.
She scoffs, holding her stomach tenderly as if she’s already showing. “Come on, we’re having a girl. I can tell.”
Owen’s heart flutters. “What if they’re trans, huh?” he jokes.
“Well, then that’ll be your responsibility to help figure out, not mine. So long as she doesn’t name herself . . . Kai.”
“I told you that in confidence!” Owen bemoans, forced to think back to the most cringe-inducing parts of his early transition.
“I think Jacob’s more excited than either of you are,” Owen says to her plainly, unsure of why he’s steering things back to
Jacob.
“I saw him google ‘How to be a good uncle’ before bed,” Kaitlyn says, a smile on her face as she shakes her head.
They’d discussed kids before, he and Jacob. Not seriously, not until they were on the bus one day, a few months into their
relationship. A woman with a stroller sat across from the two of them, and Jacob spent the entire ride downtown entertaining
the baby. Playing peek-a-boo, making funny faces to get them to laugh. Owen remembers staring at him, wide-eyed, heart melting
in that very specific way that comes with finding out the perfect man is great with children on top of everything else that
Owen already loved about him.
The line at Buck’s is nearly empty in the early morning. Owen grabs a bottle of Ritual coffee from the refrigerator, Kaitlyn ordering their usual: one chocolate éclair and one blueberry cake donut.
“Can I ask you something?” Owen prompts as they exit the bakery, Kaitlyn immediately opening the box to grab her pastry. Owen
twists the top of his coffee open. “And I think I want the truth.”
“You think?” Kaitlyn eyes him, chewing slowly.
“I think,” Owen starts to say, wondering how this could possibly be the right thing to do. He shouldn’t ask, it’s none of
his business. But he goes for it anyway. “How was Jacob? After the breakup.”
“A mess.” Her voice is quiet after a second of hesitation. “He called me crying, saying that you wanted to end things. That
the distance was too much.”
Owen doesn’t appreciate how much of the blame seems to have been placed on him.
“He asked me if he should reject the offer, get on the first plane to SFO, and work things out with you in person.”
Owen pauses mid-chew. “Did he really ask that?”
“You cannot tell him that I’m telling you this.” Kaitlyn walks back the conversation, her words pointed firmly at Owen.
“I won’t.”
“I’m serious. If I find out you said something, I’ll tell everyone about your AO3 account.”
“So?” He shrugs. “Hailey and I send fics to each other all the time.” He doesn’t even post on that account. He just bookmarks
and hands out kudos.
Kaitlyn cocks an eyebrow. “The other account.”
Owen’s blood runs cold. “How do you—”
“I have my ways. Don’t you say a word.”
“I swear.” Owen holds up his hand. “What did you say to him? When he asked you what he should do?”
“I told him that he needed to follow his gut. I didn’t want to make it seem like an ultimatum, like he only had two choices.”
“Didn’t he?” Owen asks her. “Either stay or go.”
“I don’t know,” she says. “I feel like it’s more complicated than that.”
Owen feels a flash of frustration before it settles. How could she really understand? This wasn’t her relationship. “You didn’t
do anything wrong.” But how can the issue be complicated? Either stay or leave.
“I know,” she says. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re both idiots.” These words come out lighter, like she wants Owen to know
she’s not insulting him. Well, not exactly.
“What does that mean? He had a decision, he made it. What was I supposed to do?” he asks her, trying to keep his voice down.
“I couldn’t go with him to North Carolina. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to go overseas.” The idea of bouncing from country
to country, never having the chance to settle down anywhere and get comfortable—even just the thought of it makes Owen fidget,
pressing the nail of his index finger against his thumbnail.
“I know, I know, I’m just saying . . .” Kaitlyn huffs. “Never mind.”
“What?”
“No, I don’t want to—”