Chapter Eighteen Boom! Trans People Are Banned from Flying Because of Us #2
Jacob nods, not paying a lick of attention to what Owen said. “I want to wait for you.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry, that’s probably sudden,” he says. “I’ve been looking for a way to tell you all day, and I just couldn’t think of one.”
“I want to wait for you too,” Owen admits. “But . . . what does that look like?”
“I was talking to Dani this morning.” Jacob meets Owen’s eyes. “About what I told you, that I . . . that I’d be willing to come back to San Francisco, if you asked me to.”
“What did she say?”
Jacob snorts. “That I was being stupid.” He wipes at the inside corners of his eyes. “That I couldn’t let go of everything
that I’d worked on for a man.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” Owen says, hating himself for it.
“Then I asked her how she knew when to settle down,” Jacob continues. “She used to be a lot like me, bouncing around from
place to place, taking whatever job she could just to get experience and make some kind of a living.”
Owen swallows, heart thudding in his chest.
“I think I was jealous, when I saw her home, what she was able to build. And besides, I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m
no spring chicken, or whatever it is people say.”
“What are you saying, Jacob?” Owen asks him directly, needing an answer.
“When I’m done with my research, I’m going to come back,” he says. “I’m not ending my work early; I’m not coming back just
for you. I think I’ve realized that I’m ready to slow down, to . . . take things easy for a while.”
“And you’d be willing to wait?” Owen asks. “For me.”
“Only if you are,” Jacob answers. “Only if it’s something you want to do too. I’ll be gone for years. I don’t know how long
exactly, but it’ll be a while.”
“I’d be okay with that,” Owen says. More than okay, in fact. Owen leans over, resting his head on Jacob’s shoulder. “I am glad this week happened. Despite all of the . . .” He gestures widely. “You know.”
Jacob nods. “See, traveling isn’t so bad.”
“I still think this vindicates me,” Owen argues. “You have to admit this entire situation is wacky. We’re stuck in Alaska,
Jacob.”
“At least no one was filming us from the boat,” Jacob adds, grateful.
Owen watches as he steps off the picnic table long enough to pull a strand of grass from the park lawn.
“I suppose so,” Owen says, watching Jacob’s fingers move as he shapes the grass.
“Do you think you’d be willing to come visit me? I mean, it’s a little too late to come see the Dover lab, but the one in
Belgium looks nice, and I’ll have my own apartment this time.”
“I’ve never been out of the country before,” Owen says. “Wait, did we ever reach international waters?”
“I have no clue.”
Owen chuckles. “And you’re the marine biologist?”
“Would you come to see me?” Jacob asks again, ignoring Owen’s jab.
“Yeah,” Owen confirms. “I’m going to. Would you come back to SF more?”
“I want to,” Jacob says. “I’ll tell you now that it might be tough. I’m working hard hours over there.”
Owen shrugs, laying his head back on Jacob’s shoulder. “Sounds like the norm.”
“Sorry.”
“Just make it up to me,” Owen mumbles, his attention held rapt by the ring that Jacob is making out of the grass. “Why are
you making that?”
“Because I want to marry you.” Jacob says the words so plainly that Owen doesn’t register them at first. “Not right now, not
even soon. I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone for work.”
Owen could pass out. He nearly does.
He knew this information already. But hearing it directly from Jacob . . .
“Obviously you don’t have to say anything, maybe it’s stupid, but I thought—”
“Yes,” Owen finally says.
Jacob pauses. “I didn’t even ask a question yet.”
Owen smiles. “Then ask.”
“I want you to always be a part of my life, Owen Henson. I don’t want this to be an engagement—who knows when I’ll come back
to the States, who knows where we’ll both be by then. But what I do know is that I want you to be there. I want to be able
to call you whenever I want. I want to hear your voice before I go to bed, and I want to look forward to the day I get to
see you again.
“Owen Henson . . .” Jacob holds the grass ring up for Owen to see. “Would you like to always be a part of my life? Whatever
that ends up looking like?”
“Yes,” he answers.
He wants to be in Jacob Morrison’s life for however long he’ll have him.
Owen looks down at the ring, his heart swells, and he can’t stop himself from leaning in to kiss him. His anxieties want to
regret it, telling him that he should be afraid, that maybe they’ve taken this a step too far, or made a promise that neither
of them can hope to keep. Instead, Owen chooses to trust the moment, to believe in their futures. They are two sides of the
same coin, linked together. Forever. And neither one of them can do a thing about it.
But Jacob wraps his arms around Owen’s waist, pulling them both down to the picnic table, their lips still pressed together, giggles slipping past their tongues, and Owen lets those worries melt away, choosing to trust that Jacob will always be there to catch him.
“I love you,” he whispers to Owen.
And Owen whispers back, “I love you too.”
At the end of the workday, Owen and Jacob take Dani’s Jeep to pick her up from the lab before they head back to her house.
In an effort to continue to thank Dani for all of her assistance, Owen takes over making dinner, starting up Dani’s grill
out on the wraparound porch as Jacob gets the fire pit going. Owen breathes a sigh of relief when he opens Dani’s spice cabinet
and sees the variety of options at his disposal.
“Smells good,” Jacob says, waving the smoke from the grill away from his face as Owen lifts the lid to check on the chicken
thighs.
“I think they’ve got a few more minutes,” he says. “I’ve steamed some broccoli, and Dani’s got rice going.”
“This is starting to sound like those meals Kevin makes while he’s training.”
“Yeah, except I’m not blending it all into a smoothie.”
After dinner, Owen takes the lead on the dishes, appreciating the time to think about his and Jacob’s conversation from earlier.
The first thing he’d done when they got back to Dani’s house was put the grass ring in the Chetek book he found earlier. On page 458, the scene where Pattern and Intyre quietly declare their feelings for each other the night
before what they believe will be a suicide mission.
Owen remembers reading the passage for the first time as a teenager, surprised that such an old fantasy book would have queer characters openly admitting their attraction to each other.
That wasn’t just the first time he’d considered what love would look like for himself—that was the first time he’d envisioned living long enough to find that love.
Never in a million years did he think he’d find someone who loves him the way that Jacob does. So effortlessly, like it’s
the easiest thing in the world to do.
He hears heavy footsteps behind him, the floor creaking under Jacob’s feet.
“Are you baking?” he asks, sniffing the air and eyeing the oven. “You never stop, do you?”
“Dani had the stuff to make blueberry cobbler,” Owen tells him, tossing the dishrag back to the counter. “Minus a Mama Morrison–approved
skillet of course. Besides, it’s the least I could do.”
“You made dinner,” Jacob says, stepping closer so that he can grab ahold of Owen’s hips. “You did the dishes. I think you’ve
done enough.” Jacob pulls Owen even closer, letting him rest his head on Jacob’s chest.
To think, he wouldn’t have gotten to have this again if he hadn’t come on this vacation. If he hadn’t taken a chance, taken
that leap. He and Jacob would still be back where they started.
“I’m going to open the shop,” Owen says.
The words surprise even him.
“Yeah?” Owen can feel Jacob smiling as he presses a kiss to the top of his head. “You were so on the fence just yesterday.”
“Yeah . . .” He looks up at Jacob. “I guess I got the push I needed.”
It’s not going to be easy, and he still might have to delay the plan by a few months, just to save up a bit more. But this
is his dream, it’s what Owen knows that he wants. A step toward happiness. And if it fails, if they shutter in a year and Owen has to go back to his spot at Sunset Tattoo, that’ll be okay. Because at least he was kind enough to himself to try.
Once the cobbler is done, Owen finally joins Jacob and Dani in the living room. He’s never seen an episode of The Sopranos in his life, but Dani’s in the middle of her rewatch, and really wants to show them a specific episode. She even entertains all of the questions that he and Jacob have to ask.
Before too long though, Dani turns in, double-checking the time of Owen and Jacob’s flight to Seattle before she says good
night. Left to their own devices, Jacob finds a YouTube video to watch, and Owen lays his head in Jacob’s lap, closing his
eyes as Jacob starts to play with his hair.
He could fall asleep here, under the comfort and security of the man that he loves, the man that he’s been all too happy to
pledge himself to.
With a slow hand, Owen reaches up, cupping Jacob’s cheek.
“What?” he asks, looking down at Owen and smiling.
“Nothing, just . . . wanted to touch you while I can.”
“We’ve still got a few days before I head back,” Jacob tells him.
“I know.” But it’s not enough. It never will be, not until he’s back. “I just like you.”
Jacob smiles from ear to ear. “I like you too.”
They both lie there for as long as they can before exhaustion begins to set in, Owen standing first and offering his hand
to Jacob, who follows him into the bedroom. Tucked under the covers, Owen rests his head on Jacob’s chest while Jacob’s hand
wraps around his shoulders, scratching Owen’s back, nearly lulling him to sleep.
Then Jacob’s hand starts to dip, further and further.
When Owen looks up, he sees Jacob with his head on the pillow, eyes closed.
“Jacob?”
“Hmm . . . ?” Jacob hums, eyes still shut.
“Hand’s going a little low there, huh?” Owen teases.
“Shit! Sorry, I . . .” Jacob says, yanking his hand away.
“It’s okay,” Owen promises, leaning in closer. “I don’t mind.”
“Should I bother asking if this is the smart thing to do?”