Chapter 5
Amelia
Ihoped that Shooter got exactly what he deserved.
Three months of at least of recovery and six to twelve weeks with a boot.
The stubborn ass belly-ached the whole time they fitted him with a boot, which he’s lucky it wasn’t a full cast or that his injuries were more extensive.
I tried so hard not to laugh at every single moment of it.
Pain in my fucking ass.
He was lucky that I never told Hound Dog about his little ER visit.
But I certainly messaged Melody about “guess who ended up in my ER” and she completely guessed with no help from me. Okay, I gave a little hint. Okay, fine, a huge hint. Okay, I completely told her. What she did with that information was up to her.
I blamed the long hours and numerous amounts of coffee making me want to spill the beans. I mean technically, I never promised not to tell anyone.
Everything hurt, from my feet to my back even to my arms from lifting drunk college students off the floor.
Regardless, I was going to be resting and hoping that Chris would be out of the house for a couple of days, like he usually disappears closer to my pay days.
Thinking that he could have a “weekend with the boys”.
Each paycheck just meant one step closer to paying off the damn debt that had been the biggest ball chained to my soul.
I knew what most people would say, that I need to just let him fall on his own or that he made his bed and he needs to lie in it.
But what the fucker truly did to me wasn’t the bruising from his anger or abuse but the fact that he put my name down on his books, that I was also in the mix of all his debt.
So, to clear my name, I had to clear his.
Fifty thousand dollars was a lot to pay and even though I make decent money from my job, Chris couldn’t hold a job long enough to establish roots.
Which led to the hole that was dug for me, I was the only one taking care of it.
No matter how much begging and pleading I did for him to cut me loose from this so-called marriage, he made me a promise.
If I took care of the debt, I’d be free.
I shouldn’t have trusted him. He broke the one promise in the very beginning, to love and cherish me, to protect me, to care for me. But at the end of the day, I was the only one that would take care of me.
He said that he would finally sign the dotted line of the divorce papers that I had drawn up, and I would be free from him. Free of the loveless marriage that was nothing but a mark on my heart. Seven total years of being in the fucking marriage that drained my soul or what was left of it.
I fell out of love very quickly, in my mind the moment he hit me, made me the woman that was afraid to piss him off, he was no husband of mine.
He was nobody to me. Think of it this way, he was a roommate I couldn’t evict.
He was the warden sentencing me to a life of taking care of his mess. I just wanted him gone.
Each day that I completed my shift was another day closer.
And after dealing with Shooter and the rest of the shift, I was glad to be coming home.
When I didn’t see Chris’s car in the driveway, I was really thankful.
I could catch up on sleep, maybe cook a decent meal that wasn’t take-out from the staff lounge or leftovers from co-worker’s family dinners.
My pixie cut was getting a little longer, and I half-debated on letting it grow out, but the painful memories of why I cut it so short came flooding back.
The only thing that could have made it worse was exactly what happened.
I was welcomed by two very familiar men leaning on a car parked on the curb by the house.
All color drained from my body, worried that I was behind.
I may be a spaz sometimes, but I kept careful notes of the balances and recordings of them agreeing that I gave them the money.
Tony and Gage. Two cousins that didn’t fit in Memphis. One looked like he didn’t belong in the south and the other looked like he had been picked up from the Mason-Dixon line. Seeing them made my stomach churn.
As the brakes of my truck squeaked to stop, I plastered on my fakest, calming smile to entertain their reasoning for ruining what I hope would have been a long sleep.
“Tony. Gage. What a pleasure to see your handsome faces.” I said, meeting them to extend my hand to shake theirs, ready to start recording a voice memo of the transaction.
“Oh Mrs. McDonnell, you flatter us,” Tony exclaimed, his northern accent ringing out.
I gritted my teeth at the cursed name. I was never a “McDonnell”. No matter how many times they wished to ignore that. It was just a solid reminder that they owned my ass, and I was their little money toy.
“Please, I told you to call me Mia. We’ve known each other for far too long.” I batted my eyelashes, hoping the flirting would work. Only if they ignored the dark circles under my eyes.
“It has been too long, hasn’t it?” Tony continued.
I nodded. “Yep. And almost done. Soon your little visits will be no more and my heart rate and blood pressure can finally go down.” I knew I had a little over seven grand still to owe, but it was pinching my pennies tighter, and then freedom here I come.
I felt like an old woman looking for coupons or deals and not afraid to take day old expired food.
Gage, the brute of a man he was, turned to look at his cousin. His eyes shot down, like he was a little too nervous to say anything. Nothing good could come from that look. That moment was when my heart sunk deep in my chest.
Tony tried to hide his guilt. “Not exactly, little one.”
A laugh escaped me. “What do you mean? I have it here on my phone and notebook, not much longer. I haven’t missed a payment and tried to give a little extra for good measures. Tony, what the hell do you mean “not exactly”?”
Tony gave a nod to Gage who in turn extended his hand with an envelope.
A flashback came across my mind, because that’s how they broke the news of how much Chris owed them in the beginning. Opening that envelope sealed my fate from the beginning. Tears started to well up in my eyes, threatening to expose the frustration that was brewing.
“Mia, I’m sorry little one, but we’re just taking orders from our boss.” Tony tried to soothe me, acting like they weren’t the bad guys.
I snatched the envelope, ripping it open, to find out how much longer I was going to stay this prisoner.
The number on that paper was like everything I had done over the past years didn’t touch it.
Chris had racked up debt back to the original fifty grand and then some.
I shook my head, trying to deny it, praying that it was some cruel joke and someone would be coming out to tell me so.
“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told y’all from the beginning, I don’t have this money just laying around.
You know how long it took me to get this far.
Tony, seriously, please. I can’t keep doing this.
If I keep going I am going to die from exhaustion before this could get paid.
” I pleaded. More like I was going to die from my own pain in my heart.
I rarely begged anymore, because what good did it do?
I’d beg Chris to never hurt me again, pleading with him to stop.
I begged him to let me go and look where that got me.
And after all this, this was my fault for thinking I was in love with a man that made empty promises with heavy fists.
Lt. Greene would be trying to convince me that he could get me out of this mess.
But I’d never see light like that again.
“Ms… I mean Mia. You are such a strong woman. Reminds me of my mama.” Gage spoke up. It didn’t matter his words, they gave me a death sentence. And if I told them they could just kill Chris which would save me the trouble, the debt would come to me because of the damn marriage certificate.
“While I appreciate the sentiment, Gage, it doesn’t make a difference,” I barked, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. God, I just wanted to sleep for an eternity. I was so damn tired.
Tony sighed, offering a gentle touch to my shoulders.
“I can try to give you until the end of the month to figure something out. But you know the boss, if you can’t figure it out on your own, he’ll figure it out for you.
Between you and me, sweetheart, I don’t want that to happen to you. You’re too much of a good girl.”
I just wanted to crumble on the ground. I just answered with a simple nod and a shake of a hand like we always do.
Without any more sentiments or threats, they left and I went inside to an empty house, praising that it was the only good thing in my life right now.
As soon as that door closed, I slid my back down the door, hugging my knees with hot tears streaming down my face. The dread of starting over again washed over me. I wished it was that easy to just fork over money like I made of it.
You think about it, in childhood we were sometimes sheltered from the concept of money when in reality we needed to have our eyes opened because it’s not until you’re in high school that you start thinking about not having to rely on your parents for things you wanted.
I wished it was that easy to think about a simpler time.
But adulthood came rushing and you learned lessons on the fly.
In these moments, it was easy to remember that white knights and fairy tales don’t exist for people like me. If there’s one thing I had learned, it was to rescue myself. I was my own savior. And yet there was still the part of me that wished for love and comfort and safety.
And lord, I couldn’t go home to Alabama back to the small town I crawled out of and go back to my family.
They were telling me from the beginning that this would happen if I “turned my back on the family”.
They really wanted me to stay back and play the part of running the family farm, it was tradition they would say.
I wish I could just go back to riding around on the land and feeding the cattle or even collecting eggs from the chickens.
It would never happen, not without being tied to the farm again.
I shoved all thoughts of the past and what could have been deep in my subconscious where they belonged. No one would want to see this spiral of thoughts, this anxious energy that was begging to re-surface.
I showered away the stress, letting the tears mix in with the water, watching them wash away and go down the drain.
I barely got dressed enough for bed in just a t-shirt and underwear.
With a twist of my bedroom lock, I hid under the blankets and covers, dreaming of a day where a smile on my face wouldn’t fear to be wiped away.