Chapter 5 #3
“See, it’s yo’ fault you ain’t catch Teddy, not mine.
Ole’ out of shape ass.” When she said that, I yanked her up, threw her over my shoulder, and started walking back to the house.
She beat my back in while screaming for me to put her down.
That last punch had me dropping her ass in the grass and taking the shoes off her feet.
I thought that would make her stop and calm down.
“Boy, I’m country, I stayed walking outside with no shoes on as a kid. You ain’t stopping shit. I’m still leaving.” Getting off the ground, she started walking off again.
“WILLLLMAAA!” I called out when her feet hit the pavement like Fred Flintstone’s wife. She turned around and I could tell that she wanted to laugh so bad but a car pulled up beside her and she tried to jump inside but I caught her.
“Hey, Baby.” Her little sister, Brixie, waved at me, forgetting the whole reason why she was even over there.
“Go head on, Sis, she’s good.”
“Brix, you better not leave me.” Bri was doing her best to get out of my hold, including trying to bite me.
“Brixie, what’s ya Cashapp? I got something for you if you leave and let me talk to yo’ sister.”
“Dolla sign BeBrixie!” she shouted. “Don’t send less than a stack or I'm coming back.”
“Sis, really?” Bri blurted out while still tussling to get away from me. Instead of Brixie replying, she pulled off.
“Bronx just calm down, Baby. I said that I was sorry. I go to counseling tomorrow, how I’m supposed to explain to her what happened today?”
“Tell her you fucked up and yo’ girl no longer gives a flying fuc—” Pulling her close, I pressed my lips against hers while allowing my arms to wrap around her waist. When she stopped fighting me, I knew she was calming down.
I didn’t pull back until I felt the tears that rolled down her face, hit my cheeks.
“Why you have to hurt me like that?” A twinge of anger and hurt laced her voice and had a nigga’s heart breaking.
I couldn’t say shit. Each time I reached out to touch her, she smacked my hand away like I was a bad-ass child.
“No!” she exploded. “Don’t touch me. You were not supposed to be like him.
When I met you, I didn’t have one reservation about you.
We jumped into the shit too quick and now look at us.
I’m just not right for you, Brooklyn, and that’s ok. ”
“Fuck that! I’on know what you even talkin’ ‘bout right now. You are just right for me, now come back inside so we can talk like adults.”
She said nothing, just stared at me blankly while chewing the inside of her mouth as if she were thinking about something.
“Bronx, we out here acting like a toxic-ass couple in front of my mama neighbors. They gone be talking about her at church how she raised a—”
“Son who can’t run and wants to blame his girl because he’s slow.”
“Baby, stop with the names and talk to me. It’s not that deep.” When I said that, it was like my words knocked the wind out of her.
“You know what, it’s not that deep. I’m overreacting. You saying that you wished you never met me is totally not out of line. I had no right to be upset. You’re right, I’m wrong. Can I go now?”
“Do you really wanna leave?” I stepped closer to her and asked, planting kisses all over her face. If a tear fell, I kissed it away.
The tighter I held her, the more she cried but I had a feeling those tears weren’t just about me. She’d been holding in a lot and now she was letting everything out. My lips hit her ear to get as close as possible so she could not just hear but feel my words.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Baby. A nigga fucked up bad, and I’ll spend the rest of my life eating those words.
Just let me make things right. After my session tomorrow, let’s have dinner or something.
Shit, I’ll even cook. I just need my baby back.
This has been the hardest thirty-seven hours of my life, and I don’t want to see what it feels like to go another second without you. Can we do that, Bronx?”
Pulling back, she looked into my eyes like she was searching for something. The twinkle that used to be in her eyes when she looked at me was no longer there. I’d do whatever to get that back.
A loud horn blew before tires screeched and a car stopped in front of the house. “I told you send a stack or I’m coming back and you ain’t sent nothing. LET’S GO, SIS!” Brixie didn’t even give me time to send her money before she was coming right back around the corner.
“You didn’t give me time.”
“Boooy, money or you gets noney.” Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone and put her name in, sent her fifteen hundred dollars, I then slipped my phone back in my pocket.
“Thaaaanks, Baby. Bye, Sis.” Brixie pulled back off full speed. I looked back at Bri, hoping she gave me a shot at this shit again.
“What you say, Love?”
She shifted from one foot to the next before speaking up. “Unwrap my car, Brooklyn, and let me go. I’ll be inside when you are done.” Stepping around me, she headed back inside of the house. She didn’t try to reply to what I said. It was like my words didn’t mean shit to her.
Feeling fucked-up and defeated, I walked over to her truck and took my precious time getting off the many, many layers of Saran wrap. This idea was funny when they did it but now... not so much.
Three hours later, I walked inside of the house to find Bri knocked out in my old room.
Her face was puffy, and she was still doing the sniffle shit that people do when they’ve cried hard and ended up falling asleep.
My fingers roamed her face as I pulled up my bean bag chair to sit beside her.
Reaching for her hand, I locked it into mine and locked down.
“Dear Lord,
Help me. This one, I can’t lose. I’ve been single for years now.
Focused on myself, and my work. You’ve never sent anyone into my life that made me want to add another focus until now.
No one prior to her moved me like you allowed her to.
I messed up and now all I want to do is fix it.
Fix me, fix my thoughts, these crazy dreams so I can get my girl back.
You know my attitude is too messed up to be arguing with her.
She does not deserve that part of me... ever.
All I want to do is give her that love that she’s never received before, grow as her best friend, and make her my wife one day.
No rush on that part because I want to make sure I’m perfectly ready to lead my family.
Mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually.
If you can help me get us back on track, I would appreciate it.
This will be the last prayer you hear from me where I'm begging you to fix something that I’ve broken.
Just one more chance. Amen.”
Kissing Bri on the forehead, I left out of the room, softly closing the door behind me.
While she slept, I drove her truck to my guy to get detailed because I swear, I couldn’t get all of the plastic off.
It was like they wrapped it around then someone threw the Saran wrap over the hood then back under the truck and they did that shit repeatedly.
So needless to say, I unwrapped it around enough to see out the driver side windows, and for her to squeeze in the driver seat.
When I noticed she was on empty, I filled her truck up before pulling up to my guy’s shop.
I sat here a minute, thinking about what I needed to do to get my baby back.
I thought just sitting in the corner while she talked to my mama was going to pull her in when she saw me back there looking sad but shit, that ain’t’ work.
When she said she loved me, those words shook my soul and the only thing I said to myself was that I couldn’t let her get away from me.
My mama tried her best and lied her ass off, too. I was sitting there the entire time she was on the phone, pinching her to see if I could get her to at least start crying on the phone with her. She’s sick, but she got out of that bed and popped me a few times for pinching her.
Looking up, I saw the guys getting frustrated as they cut and pulled the wrapping off her truck. I’d have to tip them big for this shit. My sisters need they asses whooped. They could have taken her keys or something because this right here, was for the birds, for real.
“Remember to be as honest as possible.”
I side-eyed Zoo’s ass, regretting already that he was at this psych appointment with me.
“I don’t need ya prep, bruh.”
“With that attitude, you do. I’m just sayin’. Don’t go up in here lyin’ and shit. How he gon’ help you if you don’t tell the truth?”
“So, you want me to go in here and tell this nigga that I got bodies under me and about to add a new one to it?”
“Hell nah!” Zoo’s face balled up. “Now you’re bein’ funny. You know what the fuck I’m talkin’ about.”
Grinning, I entered the doctor’s office and went straight to the check in desk.
“Brooklyn Smith to see Dr. Holiday.”
“How you gon’ be a whole shrink and ya last name Holiday? Nigga name sounds too jolly for me,” Zoo commented.
“Shut up,” I said for his ears only.
The nice receptionist smiled too hard as she handed me my forms.
“Take your time and let me know if you need anything.”
“He doesn’t need anything. His girl gon’ come up here and have words with you if you don’t back off. I got her on speed dial.”
The receptionist giggled like Zoo wasn’t being honest. I pushed his ass towards the seating area, then sat and filled out the stack of papers.
“Damn, they wanna know how often you’ve threatened somebody in the last thirty days. Skip that one, bruh. They gon’ send you straight to the bin with that answer.”
Grumbling under my breath, I lied on that question and kept going.
Zoo pointed to a question two down from the one I was still working on.
“Skip that one, too. They tryna slick trip you up with these questions. Do you think about harming yourself or others?” Zoo shook his head. “Thinking about it is enough for them to commit yo’ ass. Skip it.”
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“‘Cause I gotta make sure you make it up outta here.”
Sighing, I finished my papers and took them back to the clerk. She had another goofy smile plastered on her face.
“Thank you,” she said. “Someone will be calling your name, shortly.” Her brown eyes traveled the length of my body. I’m sure she wanted to be the one calling my name, but I was too gone over Bronx to give a fuck about any other woman. So, I went to my seat and acted like shawty didn’t exist.
“Why females be so bold nowadays?” Zoo questioned. “I just told her sour grape head ass that you have a woman. Shawty still tryna get ya attention.”
Shrugging, I said, “Ignore her like I am ‘fore I call PJ up here. You lookin’ too damn hard.”
“You’s a lie. And if you tell that lie to Pen, I’ma fuck you up.”
“Scary ass,” I mumbled just as the clinic door opened, and my name was called.
Zoo followed me to the back, where the young white girl led us to a room with two couches, two recliners, and a simple desk that had several charts sitting on top of it.
“Oh, this is nice,” Zoo stated.
The lady grinned. “Have a seat, gentleman. Dr. Holiday will be right in.”
Zoo and I sat on the same couch. We were barely settled when the door opened, and Dr. Holiday walked in.
“Good afternoon!” he cheerfully spoke.
“‘Sup,” Zoo and I spoke in unison.
I made eye contact with my cousin, letting him know to chill. Dr. Holiday looked like one of those creatures off of the Sci-Fi channel, no cap. Zoo was already picking apart Dr. Holiday from head to toe.
“You see his hairline?” this nigga whispered.
Ignoring Zoo, I tried not to focus on Dr. Holiday’s hairline, which was talking to the back of his neck.
“I’m Dr. Holiday! Who’s Mr. Smith?”
“We’re both Mr. Smith. I’m Brooklyn, this is my cousin, Zeus.”
“Perfect! I see you’re here because you’re having some issues with anger.” Dr. Holiday sat, flipped open my empty chart, pulled out a piece of paper, and started scribbling shit on it. I hadn’t opened my mouth yet.
“Yeah,” I simply answered.
“How long have you noticed you’ve had issues with anger?”
Zoo grunted.
“A few years,” I vaguely answered.
“What happens when you’re angry?”
I remained quieter than a church mouse, and so did Zoo.
“Do you find yourself enraged? Do you become combative?”
“Nah, I go off into myself.”
Zoo pointedly stared at me. His eyes burned a hole in the side of my face. Dr. Holiday nodded his head as if my word was law.
“When you go into that place, how do you feel?”
Again, Zoo’s eyes bored into me. His eyebrows lifted in question.
“Exhausted,” I answered.
“Exhausted with life?” Doc asked.
Frustrated, Zoo huffed. “Look, mane. My cousin ain’t suicidal, aight? He’s angry. He just gets mad as hell and needs some assistance on how to deal with his anger. Don’t be in here tryna plant no seed in his head that he is suicidal. ‘Cause if something happens to him, I’m comin’ after—”
I elbowed Zoo hard as fuck to stop him from threatening the damn doc whose weird-looking ass looked like he was about to shit himself.
“Sure… Let’s move on.”
Doc continued asking questions, and I answered the best way I could without implicating myself in anything illegal. Every so often, Zoo shook his head or grunted at whatever I said. His ass wasn’t any damn help.
My session ended with Dr. Holiday wanting to see me back in two weeks. I wasn’t sure if I’d come back or not, but if this was the only way to keep Bronx happy, I was going to endure this shit.
Back in the lobby, the receptionist handed me my appointment card.
“Excuse me, Sir,” she said to Zoo, who was on his way out of the door. He came back to the desk with a funky expression. “Dr. Holiday told me to give you this.” She handed Zoo a card that resembled mine.
“The fuck,” he mumbled. “I’ain ask for no appointment.” He tried to hand the appointment card back to the receptionist, but she declined it.
“Can you please tell me your date of birth?” she requested, unfazed by the mug on Zoo’s face.
I rambled off his birth date, chuckling to myself because his ass got himself into this.
“Alrighty, you’re all set.” She smiled chipperly, not realizing Zoo was about to come across her desk.
Grabbing Zoo’s shirt, I dragged him out of the building. That’s what his ass got! As for myself, I guess counseling wasn’t too bad.