Chapter 10
brIANNA
“Lil’ Baby, yo' phone going off somethin' serious.” I heard Brooklyn, but I did everything in my power to drown him out. Tired was an understatement with how I felt right now. After all of the shopping I did, having to do more stuff with Mimi and PJ, then coming home to let this man twist me like a Rubik’s cube, I was tired.
“Bronx, Baby! It’s your sister.” Opening my eyes, I noticed his forehead creased with worry. Seeing that he was holding his phone out to me and not mine, let me know it had to be something serious because Brixie wouldn’t have called him for something simple.
“Is everything ok?” I quizzed him, too afraid to take the phone to find out for myself. It felt like déjà vu from the last time I got a call at this hour about my dad. I felt it in my soul that this was another one of those calls.
“I don’t know, Baby, but she’s crying, hysterically.
” Shaking my head, no, I pushed the phone back to him.
“She’s scared to get the phone, just tell me what’s up, Brix.
” Concern grew on his face as he listened.
I heard her yelling and talking fast but couldn’t make out what she was saying.
“Damn. I’ll get her up there soon. Just calm down.
” She continued to cry and at this point, my heart was beating so fast and hard that it felt like I was about to pass out.
“Get up, I gotta get you to the hospital.” Brooklyn scrambled to get out of the bed to find his boxers. He slipped them on then his sweats while I just sat there, too terrified to even ask what was wrong. Just knowing it was something already had my emotions high.
“I can drive myself, just tell me what’s wrong.”
“What? Why would I let you leave out the house alone?”
“It’s not a big deal, Baby. The night I met you at the hospital when my dad was there, I was alone. So, what’s the difference?”
“You heard what you just said, right? You met me! Why would I give another nigga a chance to meet you while you’re in a vulnerable state or shit, meet you at all? When all I had to do was get my ass out of the fucking bed to make sure my shawty gets to the hospital to check on her people.”
His words had me reflecting back to that night my dad went to the hospital. It’s crazy that this was the same scenario but with a different outcome because these were two different calibers of men. Teddy didn’t give one fuck about me needing to get to the hospital.
“Can you just tell me what happened?” Tucking the cover under my arms, I gripped it tight to embrace the blow that he was about to hit me with. I just knew it was my daddy all over again.
His exhale even has me on edge.
“Just spit it out, Baby, damn. Is it my daddy?”
“BJ was shot leaving out of a chick’s house. Shit, ain’t looking too good so I need to get you there now.” The words he let out of his mouth were unexpected.
“Whaa, what? Why? How? BJ... you sure?”
“Brianna.” When he called me that, I knew he was serious.
Since he’d learned my middle name, it’d been Bronx, so I knew I needed to get my ass up.
No longer asking questions to prolong what I needed to be doing, I rolled out the bed, slipped on me some clothes, and followed Brooklyn down the steps.
My heart was racing and I was racing right behind it to the truck.
Silently, I prayed the entire way to the hospital.
Brooklyn held my hand tight and even that didn’t settle the uneasy feeling that I had in my spirit.
I was just about tired of seeing this damn hospital.
From my daddy, Naomi passing out, Zoo getting shot, and now my brother.
I swear I didn’t want to see this place again until I was giving birth to my own damn baby.
When Brooklyn pulled up to the hospital, I wiped the flood of tears away and waited for him to come around to open the door, instead of me jumping out of the truck.
When he opened the door, I sat still. I didn’t make one attempt to get out of the truck.
Staring into the glass windows of the hospital, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“I can’t do it.” I needed to run, to scream, but my body had become petrified stone. My legs felt like they were being weighed down with bricks.
“Yes you can, Baby. You got to. If you don’t, you’ll regret not going to check on him.
Besides, it’s your brother. Now get’cho ass out of this truck.
” When I didn’t move fast enough, he lifted me bridal style and walked me to the double doors.
Brooklyn placed me on my feet right at the lady's desk, who he’d threatened to knock back her lace front a few weeks ago.
“Can you tell me which room my brother is in? His name is Bryson Kincade.” After clicking a few times, she told me the room number and allowed me to go straight to the back.
As soon as we got on the hallway, my sister’s loud cry stopped in my tracks and my heart sank.
“Brooklyn, I can’t!” I started to back track but Brooklyn only pulled me to him.
The door to my brother's room came open, and Brix’s cry came out louder and more hysterical than what she sounded like inside of the room.
“Bri,” Brixie cried out when she noticed me. She ran the rest of the way towards me and fell into my arms. “He’s gone!”
“Please don’t say that, Brixie. Who did this?”
“I don’t knooow!”
The screams that were let out between my sister and I were loud enough to rumble through each hall in the hospital.
All I could think about was the many times I told him to be careful, stop being stupid, and stop messing with all of these women.
The fact that he’d listened and put all of that shit behind him, started working on him and then this happened, had my heart hurting so bad.
Lord, my brother was trying to do right. This shouldn’t have happened to him.
Brooklyn wrapped his arms around us and held on as tight as he could. I was too scared to go into the room to see him. The last time that he came to my house is how I want to remember him. He was doing good and that's the image I wanted to have of him.
brOOKLYN
It’d been two full weeks since everything happened with Bri’s brother.
Once they had the funeral last week, all of us showed up for her.
I was even able to get my mom to go because she swore up and down that she was going to support her daughter-in-law.
Family is what Bri needed after losing someone close to her.
Once that was over with, she just went ghost on me.
Every day, I tried to talk to her to pull her out of this deep depression that she started to spiral into.
She backed away, and I didn’t want to push so I let her have her moment.
Daily, I would get these text messages from my mom that she wanted me to send to Bri.
She would send them so much until I started sending things on my own that I thought would make her feel better, like affirmations and motivational quotes to get her back to.
.. her. I needed her to want to get back to her, though.
She needed to want this on her own not just because I wanted her to be ok.
I’d been missing her so much and the only thing I’d been able to do was throw myself into the studio.
A place that I’d had a love-hate relationship with, lately.
I love being there and hated leaving Bri at home to go.
Now since I didn’t have her like I did at first, it was back to all work and no play.
I’d call Zoo or Sin to see if the girls had gone by to check on her.
I tried that shit and she didn’t answer but I saw her truck right in the garage.
Instead of letting that get to me, I left her sunflowers at the door and prayed she came outside before they died.
I’d done that every single day. Each day I went back, the flowers would be gone and a thank you note would be left in its place.
I don’t know where Bri and I would end up but when or if it did get back on the right track, I wasn’t letting her go or fucking up again.
That little time she was upset with me had me sick.
It felt like someone was twisting my heart like they were wringing a wet T-shirt with blood dripping from it. I was in love with her.
“Give me a minute,” I told Kim when my phone started going off. When I saw it was Bri, a nigga smiled hard as hell.
My Person: Are u busy?
I was, but I’ll never tell you that.
Me: Nah, what's up?
My Person: I need some comfort and it seems like my mind is clear when I’m around you, and I just want to not think about what’s going on in my life right now.
Me: You don’t have to explain it. I'm at the studio. Come thru.
Quickly, I dropped my location so she could get there.
My Person: K
I sent a text to my man at the front desk to let him know I had someone coming through. Otherwise, Dwight wasn't letting a soul up in this bitch.
"How did that sound?"
"It was perfect."
First, I glanced through the glass at Kim who was in the booth, then I shot an irritated look to her manager.
"Shit was garbage," I said. "Fix that dead-ass pitch you're in," I told Kim. Her face was full of aggravation, but I didn't give a damn. I wasn't producing her album with her half-assing this shit. She knew that and so did Qilo, her manager.
"You're being too hard on her, Brooke," Qilo said. "The damn girl just had a baby."
I licked my lips and mugged this nigga.
"Two months ago, nigga. Y'all in here tryna push an album out under my name and expect it to sound like any-muthafuckin’-thing and you know that ain't me. You want some bullshit, take her somewhere else."
Qilo knew better, though. I was the dopest producer in the city and shiidd, the South if you asked me. I'd worked with countless artists and produced dozens of hits. My name was too well known to be fucking it up behind a lazy-ass, up-and-coming R&B artist, and her money hungry manager.