Chapter Ninety-Seven
Ruby
I shouldn’t have come. That’s the first thought that hit me as I stopped at the corner of the house, the folder heavy in my hands.
“You knew I wasn’t looking for anything serious.” Xavier’s voice was cold and dismissive as he responded to something Lindsey asked him.
He wasn’t supposed to be here. Why is he here?
“And Ruby knows that too?”
Xavier answered moments later, steady and familiar. “She’s a friend, and she knows where I stand.”
The words hit hard in the center of my chest, sending a shockwave of pain from my heart to my twisting stomach.
Not because they’re cruel. But because of the conviction of his tone.
Like they belong beside all the other things he’s said over the last few weeks.
No labels. No pressure. Nothing serious.
I stare down at the papers in my hands. Of course, he thinks that way. What else would he call this? We never defined it. That was the point. His response is his truth, and it’s time I stopped fooling myself.
It’s only then that what else he said sinks in. ‘You knew I wasn’t looking for anything serious.’
The breath leaves my lungs. He slept with Lindsey and never said a word about it. Hell, why would he? We weren’t a couple. There was no reason to talk about our past. To spill our secrets.
The fact that he slept with her isn’t the issue. Not really. I should’ve suspected it anyway. The problem is that nothing that happened between us changed him the way it has me. The feelings that’ve wrapped themselves around every part of my life mean nothing to him.
Lindsey says something else, but I barely hear it because I’m so tired.
Tired of pretending I can handle this arrangement. Tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt every time he reminds people we’re ‘just friends.’ Tired of trying to convince myself I can keep giving pieces of myself to someone determined not to call it anything real.
I should walk away. I should turn around before they see me standing here listening. But my feet won’t move.
Then Lindsey’s eyes flick toward me. And she smiles. “You should probably clarify that with her. You wouldn’t want any other misunderstandings.”
Moments later, Xavier turns. The second his eyes land on me, everything changes. Shock flashes across his face. Then realization. He knows exactly what she did.
For one terrible second, I see the explanation forming in his eyes before he even speaks. And the worst part? Some part of me still wants to hear it. That’s what scares me enough to move.
I force my feet forward, gravel crunching beneath my boots as I walk toward them. My hands are steady. Which feels strange, considering everything inside my chest feels like it’s caving in.
I stop a few feet away and hold the folder out toward Xavier. “Your dad needed this signed by Travis. Can you make sure he gets them?”
My voice sounds calm. Almost detached, as if I’m in a void where the real world doesn’t reach anymore.
Xavier doesn’t take the papers right away. “Ruby–”
“Here.” I push the folder toward him again.
His fingers brush mine as he takes it. The contact sends a sharp ache straight through my heart like touching a blade that’s slicing through every inch of me.
Lindsey says nothing now. She watches, which feels worse—having her witness the end. The end she wanted to see happen.
“I’ll see you back at the office,” I say.
“Ruby, wait.” The way he says my name cracks something open inside me.
I can hear it already. The explanations. The technicalities. The ‘that’s not what this is.’ And the, ‘you know how I meant it.’
And maybe he would mean it. Maybe he’d even believe it. But I don’t think I have the energy to keep playing this game where we act like feelings don’t count because he refuses to name them.
I shake my head once. “It’s fine.”
Lie. My stomach churns again, hard enough that I have to focus on breathing evenly.
I can’t do this here. Not in front of Lindsey. Not while Xavier is looking at me like he’s trying to figure out how much damage he caused.
So I turn and walk past the crew that’s working. Or pretending to work. They weren’t close enough to hear the conversation, but they know…. They know what? That I was pathetic and thought Xavier could fall in love with me?
Tears prick my eyes. They know I’m that pathetic. Everyone did.
I reach my car and grip the door handle before sliding inside. The interior feels too warm. Too small. I rest my forehead briefly against the steering wheel and close my eyes.
Of course he hooked up with Lindsey. He’s always been a player. A one-and-done guy. Flitting from one woman to the next.
What hurts is realizing I kept hoping I’d eventually become the exception to rules Xavier never wanted to change.
My stomach rolls again. Stress. Warmth from the heater. The lingering garbage smell. Or heartbreak catching up to me. I don’t know. I only know that I feel exhausted all the way through. Emotionally scraped raw.
And for the first time since this started, I stop trying to convince myself I can handle it because everyone’s been right. Xavier doesn’t care about me, at least, not in a way that doesn’t leave him standing on the other side of the line.
And I don’t think I can survive living there anymore.