Chapter One Hundred Nine
Xavier
The Next Morning
The first thing I notice when I pull into Ruby’s driveway is the stillness. Her car is there, but no one else’s vehicles take up space in the driveway. Jake said the hospital released her hours ago. So where the hell is she?
I kill the engine and scan the property. Tree line. Pig pen. Nothing moves. My pulse kicks harder as the possibility of her being here alone, again, makes me see red. I can’t believe they’d let her return home on her own.
Squirt grunts from the pen. Fuck. My shoulders slump as if a weighted blanket dropped on top of me. Ruby’s definitely not here. If she were, Squirt would be inside. Thank fuck. But that still leaves the question of where in the hell she is unanswered.
I let him out, then feed the others because standing around imagining where Ruby might be is going to make me lose my mind.
My attention is caught by the disturbed patch of ground near the fence. Blood in the grass. Ruby unconscious. Not calling me.
I grip the feed bucket tighter. Gravel crunches as someone pulls into the driveway. Bella. Relief hits hard—until she gets out alone.
“Where is she?”
She stops several feet in front of me, head tilted, and brow furrowed. “Good morning to you too.”
“Bella.”
Her expression softens. “She’s safe.”
Some of the pressure in my chest releases. “Where?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“She asked me not to.”
Son of a bitch. Frustration surges through me. “Someone attacked her last night.”
“I know. And she’s scared and overwhelmed and needs space.”
“She shouldn’t be alone.”
“She’s not.”
I drag a hand through my hair. “I don’t have to go there. Just tell me where she is.”
Bella shakes her head. “She’s somewhere safe with somebody who loves her.”
That helps. Not enough, but enough that I can breathe.
Bella glances toward the pigs. “You’re here feeding them?”
“Somebody had to.”
“Why you?”
My jaw tightens. “Because I know where everything is. I know what they like. They trust me.”
She studies me. “You’re angry.”
“No shit.”
“That’s not all you are.”
My gaze returns to the place Ruby fell. No. It isn’t.
Bella goes quiet for a moment. “Are you ever going to admit Ruby is more than a friend?”
The question hits like a smack to the face. And I deserve it.
I’m standing in her yard when I should be at work, feeding her pigs because she isn’t here to do it, barely able to breathe until somebody assures me she’s safe. The answer feels painfully obvious.
“She’s always been more than that.”
“Then why the hell are you pretending she isn’t?”
Because my mom walked out and never came back.
Because Claire left me when I was already at my lowest. Because everyone I’ve ever trusted to stay eventually proved they wouldn’t.
Because I genuinely don’t know how to be the man Ruby deserves.
Because I’m doing a fucking piss poor job of protecting her.
I stare at the disturbed ground again. Maybe the problem was never that I didn’t know how to care about Ruby.
Maybe I’ve been terrified of how much I already do.